In this week’s Pulse Report, Uncle Luke proves why he’s still the sheriff in Miami, Ja Rule‘s protective custody jailing gets exposed, Cam’ron takes the shine from Lil Wayne and oh SOHH much more goes down!

1. Say Uncle

I won’t lie to y’all, I really thought Uncle Luke was just one of those old school, whining hip-hop artists that has nothing better to do than complain about what’s hot and talk about the good ol’ days. Well, he kinda is but I started realizing dude has really put in some work and has a right to actually vent out a bit over what Lil Wayne said about the Miami Heat (I agree though) last weekend at the NBA All-Star Weekend festivities. Luke might have had a few appearances in “Rappers Say The Darndest Things” but this week, he spoke (wrote) and I listened (read) every last word. Peep his little rant over what Lil Wayne said:

“He has no respect for the city because people in Miami’s entertainment industry — from local radio DJs to South Beach nightclub promoters to the Heat’s front office — spread their legs for him and every out-of-town celebrity who rolls through town. Lil Wayne treats Miami like his b*tch because people let him. When Weezy claimed he was thrown out of the Heat home game versus the Lakers, the franchise tried to downplay the incident, saying they only asked him to leave and he left on his own. That was a b*tch move.” (Miami New Times)

“Hell, I want to know what Rick Ross, DJ Khaled, and all these so-called 305 rappers who hang with Lil Wayne have to say about him disrespecting our home team. They need to set Lil Wayne straight. When you disrespect Miami, you can’t be allowed into any arena, restaurant, club, or even McDonald’s to get a burger. And you better not show your face in the hood. None of this bullsh*t would have happened under my watch. In 1992, when I had a beef with Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre, they had to cancel a concert in Miami. For years, they couldn’t set foot in the 305 because it was so hot. Suge Knight had to come down and smoke a peace pipe with me.” (Miami New Times)

There’s a whole lot more, I’m just keeping what SOHH posted up in their coverage on here. Luke was pretty dead on. How much love does Lil Wayne receive around the world, but especially out in Miami? The whole entire Young Money crew act like they forgot about New Orleans and have stakes in the city of Miami. LOL. I wouldn’t be surprised to see them featured in a future Grand Theft Auto: Vice City game later down the road. LOL. But Luke’s right, who is going to speak up and out at Wayne? There’s so much butt kissing going around that the idea of Wayne being scolded at all doesn’t seem right. Even before Wayne started crying and apologizing, Luke had the jump on him:

“Don’t be surprised this cat gets on local radio with a fake a** apology the same station that supports them and no local artist,” Luke tweeted February 20th.

“Can someone move to Oakland buy a house then go to a game and say the Raiders ain’t s*** and think they going to stay in Oakland ?” (Uncle Luke’s Twitter)

^ LOL! Now that’s FUNNY! Not only was Luke right about Wayne doing an apology, but the fact he made sure to do it with a 99 Jamz radio station? LOL. Good stuff, Luke. I might have to start peeping your column more often!

Ja Rule: Protect Ya Neck

2. Protect Ya Neck

For the record, I could really care less about Ja Rule being or having spent time in protective custody. I think we’re well beyond the point of using street cred to boast up record sales in the music industry but going back to my early 2000’s days, the thought of “protective custody” was up there with the word “snitch.” There have been so many rappers that have boasted about “not” serving time in protective custody and being with the general population. Something about seeing Rule being placed in “PC” brings me back. LOL.

Platinum-selling rapper Ja Rule was set to leave an upstate prison on Thursday after serving most of his two-year sentence for illegal gun possession but head straight into federal custody in a tax case. The rapper, who had been in protective custody at the Mid-State Correctional Facility because of his celebrity, has some time remaining on a 28-month sentence for tax evasion, correction officials said. His sentences were expected to run concurrently. (CBS News)

Make your own statements, I just find it funny protective custody is the norm for a lot of rappers we grew up admiring for their “gangster” images.

Cam’ron Calls Out Chris Bosh’s Wife

3. Moment of the Week: Cam’ron Calling Out Chris Bosh’s Wife

Lil Wayne stole the show last weekend out in Houston, Texas, when he just went off on a tantrum that was made to live forever on the Internet. Dissing the NBA, calling out the Miami Heat players, even calling himself the new Pac didn’t come close to his final words of having sexual relations with Chris Bosh‘s wife.

To make matters worse, out of nowhere, Cam’ron decides to cash-in on the hype by calling Bosh’s wife a certified h*e! LOL! Really, Cam, really? Out of nowhere, too. Gotta give Cam’ron the moment of the week purely off of making a random comment on this fiasco.


“My man @britishthetitan been had bosh wifey under wing b4 Wayne. Lol she use to be pissy drunk in my club in da Cincinnati,” Cam posted onto Instagram with a photo of Bosh’s wife. (Cam’ron’s Instagram)

LOL. There’s so many things wrong with this. For starters, is Cam’ron basically trying to stress the fact that Bosh married a former (or current) h*e? Looking at the photo, it looks like it came from the 1998 – 1999 Hard Knock Life tour. LOL. My biggest concern is why would Cam willingly put himself into the middle of a messy situation like this? Oh wait, for attention? LOL. Whatever his reasons, this was unexpected and entertaining! LOL!

Future Mrs. Butterworth: Paulina Gretzky

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Paulina Gretzky

Go ahead and clown me, I deserve it. Last week we had Katy Perry and now I bring out another white girl? LOL. Look, blame it on the New York Knicks sucking right now and the New York Jets making me want to give up watching football until the next Mayan End of the World prediction, because I started watching NHL and found out the great Wayne Gretzky has a daughter that’s a dime. Yeah, clown me all y’all want but instead of looking for those fatties on “Love & Hip Hop,” peep something we’re not used to seeing. Give it up to Paulina Gretzky, she’s certified!

No clips, just big pics!

Rappers Say The Darndest Things

5. Rappers Say The Darndest Things

There’s only one doggy that could steal the entire week with a rant heard around the United States, world, universe and beyond: Lil Wayne. I kind of spilled it in Moment of the Week, but it had to be stressed how silly Lil Wayne is. Calling out the NBA, Miami Heat and calling yourself the new Pac? We know you’re not sippin’ that sizzurp anymore, but what are you on Wayne? Has all that skateboarding gone to your head? For a minute it was hating on New York, now you’re just sounding pure dumb. Thanks for the great words, you helped make my decision to feature you as the sole highlight of “Rappers Say The Darndest Things” extremely easy! LOL.

1. Lil Wayne Loses Himself

Y’all love these n*ggas so I’m gonna let y’all know why [I don’t like the Heat]. The Miami Heat told [the arenas] to ban me. So I say f*ck, I’m still going to come out here and party — when I say ‘F*ck,’ y’all say ‘NBA’. F*ck! When I say ‘F*ck,’ y’all say the Miami Heat. F*ck! … I ain’t 2Pac, I’m the new Pac. Holla at cha boy.

Let’s finish having a good time. When I say ‘F*ck,’ you say ‘NBA.’ F*ck! When I say ‘F*ck,’ you say ‘Miami Heat.’ F*ck! You let them n*ggas know I’m from the streets so I ain’t going on no Twitter beef — take it to the f*cking streets n*gga. F*ck all these n*ggas. F*ck LeBron, f*ck D-Wade, f*ck all them n*ggas man. And, and, and I f*cked Chris Bosh’s wife.

***Can y’all believe a week from today is March 1st? It’s hard to believe time has been flying by in 2013. Not sure about y’all, but the weekend is looking pretty relaxing out here in the New York City area. Everyone stuck in the snow out around the Midwest be safe, it’s supposed to be pretty nasty out there. The warm weather will be here soon enough, so stay in, watch some movies and sign up for your local gym via the Internet. LOL! I’ll catch y’all on Tuesday! –BB***