WTF – This has never happened before…

I’ve been informed by the powers that be that RUSSELL SIMMONS IS NOT affiliated with HoodAThon. I should have figured that out when it wasn’t called Russell Simmons Presents Def Rescue Jam. Let’s keep in mind that I wrote my piece based soley on information that I received. Had they not RUSHed out this information I could have saved my hatred for RusSell-Out Simmons for another day.

Simmons, know that I’ve got my eye on you – and my other eye your wife, The Lovely Kimora Lee-Simmons.

Shout out to JLM. Yea, I wrote some "really nasty stuff about Russell" but hey, that nigga pays your light bill, not mine. LHIOB.

So, now Russell Simmons a.k.a. The Vegan Who Sells Leather Goods, is rallying New Yorkers to donate supplies at The HoodAthon in Queens.

HoodAThon? I’m shocked he didn’t call it "Russell Simmons Presents Def Rescue Jam". Normally he tacks his name onto his project of the month to show The Lovely Kimora Lee that he’s still out there making moves – as feeble as they may be.

Anyway, Russell wants "the people" to bring stuff like water, can openers, clothing, flashlights, towels, blankets, toys for kids and backpacks. [Judging from the list I’d assume he’s taking all the victums on a camping trip.] But then something odd caught my eye…

Simmons is also asking that residents donate money as they need to pay $14,000 for the four trucks and four drivers that will deliver the supplies directly to Houston and Mississippi.

If "the people" are bringing the water, the can openers, the clothes, the flashlights, the toys, the backpacks and chipping in for the trucks, then what the hell fuck is Russell bringing to the table? [Maybe he’ll bring The Lovely Kimora Lee-Simmons!]

NEGRO PLEASE!

If this nig don’t have $14,000 for the transporation, then maybe he shouldn’t be trying to have his own fund raising efforts. I mean, can’t Russell come up off some Phat Farm gear for the kids? Give away those Run Athletics Sneakers. Ain’t no one buying ’em.

Fat Joe put $25,000 on it. T.I. put $50,000 on it. Ludacris put $100,000 down. Diddy and Jigga put a million on it plus they giving away Rocawear and Sean John outfits. I’m not trying to count Russell’s money, but with Defcon3, The Rush Card, Rush Mobile, Def Jam Mobile* and all the other ventures he’s a part of, he should be able to hustle up some money. Maybe he should ask The Lovely Kimora for a Pay Day Loan. I mean Kimora did say in an interview:

"I don’t need the money. I’m filthy fucking rich!" – Vanity Fair April 2005

Someone put this old man out to pasture. He’s done.

* I tried to link to Def Jam Mobile.com, but it looks like the site is down. Another failuring multimedia venture, eh Russ?