Brianne Patrice
[Editor’s Note: The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own. SOHH.com provides a platform for thoughtful and sound perspectives from Hip-Hop culture.]
The recent attack on Houston rap star Megan Thee Stallion allegedly at the hands of now-estranged male hip-hop friend Tory Lanez has sparked discussion centered on the well-being of the Black woman in 2020. Here, SOHH.com presents Brianne Patrice of mental health services organization, The Sad Girls Club, who asserts “the Black Man is the Black woman’s oppressor.“
I think black women everywhere are fully beginning to understand, embrace [sadly] and realize that we have no one to depend on but ourselves. Megan choosing to protect Tory in the quake of her traumatic event is a martyr song we have all hummed at one point in time. I, too, have protected an abuser, multiple abusers out of fear of what would happen to them and to me once coming out in the open.
“Black women have been protecting black men since the beginning of time” states Bun B in his recent video calling for the support of Megan and black women everywhere.
We must be protected. We must move past the hashtags and retweets and actually do what is required to hold the history of my black womanhood…sacred. Black women were born into the role of protector– a job we do out of necessity understanding all too well the weight that carries in the stretch of our skin.
White men are the black man’s oppressor and black men have become the black woman’s. We are exhausted with nowhere to put these stories or voice our experiences; nowhere to be felt, nowhere for our scars to heal and for our bodies to mourn. Thus, we walk around exposed, wounded and cut open.
“I tried sparing him, but y’all aren’t sparing me” says Megan in her IG live video.
Why must we make black women the culprit of her own crime? The moment Megan named Tory, millions of people took to social media saying things like “we only know one side of the story” — as if there’s ever a good reason to shoot any unarmed person unless in the manner of self-defense.
Sound familiar? Black men are shot and murdered daily for no reason at all. Black women are too. We are the frontlines, so it’s troubling [though not surprising] to see no one else stand alongside Megan. Black women have come to her aid, no shock there, while black men remain in silence.
“The only reason it’s not being heavily reported on is because it’s a black woman” says Bun B.
We deserve something other than your complicity.
Black men can’t agree on anything else but in accordance with their actions they agree on one thing– that black women are not worthy of their protection.
But if not us, then who? Black men are so naive to the ways black women experience them. Each time we are ignored or our experiences invalidated you deny us our womanness and our truths. Disrupting our ability to process and heal. Black women fight many wars and attention must be paid. Our bodies could be cold, slain in the street next to yours and still you’d refuse to call us by our name.
Stop making us carry the sins of our abuser and believe black women the first time.
In the words of King Bey herself and in the thoughts and minds of black women everywhere, “who’s there to save the hero? after she’s saved the world?”
“In the words of King Bey herself…” I could start here by saying your grammatical slip up is telling. Many black women today for whatever reason — let’s call it “independence” — attempt to usurp black men’s masculinity.
Second, today I messed up on my son’s haircut. His mom and I are divorced. This woman screamed at me on the phone and sent police to my door to “rescue” our son — all for a haircut. To this point, black women are much more protected than black men. Black women have weaponized law enforcement and the courts — whether it’s child support, custody, or criminal — against black men.
Third, let’s not excuse violent black women’s behavior. I sent my ex-girlfriend to jail for beating me up in college. She called me a snitch. When I finally had enough of her beating me and slapped her once, she called me a batterer. Meg has already gone public about her domestic violence arrest, and so many “hot girls” online laughed right alongside with her. “You go girrrrrl!!!! Fuck dat nigga up!!!!!”
Fifth, what Tory did is unacceptable. My opinions above may seem harsh, but they are not to defend Tory. I was compelled to reply because this narrative that black men are black women’s oppressors is false. The black woman today has no issue breaking up the household, having multiple baby daddies, and weaponizing law enforcement and the courts to, in fact, oppress black men.
It’s no secret.
Seems I can’t count. First second third FOURTH, but you get the point. Wink
Ah, and I’d be remiss to not say, but the police did not take away my son. They found it to be THE pettiest call in their time on the force. My point is: so many black women tactically use police against their significant other — not for protection, but for leverage and power.
Truth being told Blackwomen are victimized and unprotected in this society, dad but factual. For a very long time our sisters have had to endure the pain and brutal treatment of some sissy ass, insecure ass, straight hoe ass NIGGAS! Straight laced no chaser….
@IAmEl you sound like an angry. black. man. Clearly you haven’t taken the time to empathize with the black woman’s experience but instead decided to 1-up by sharing your own (very unrelated and specific to you) experience. Making excuses to validate a black women’s pain is typical from man, it definitely hurts to see it come from your own. I’m not surprised to read a ‘clap back’ I just hope that the evolving generation does better.
I’m sorry you feel that way. I am empathetic toward black women’s struggle. I do not feel my personal experience should be diminished, and neither should yours. This was not a clap back. Peace.
Thank you for clarifying here. I think both perspectives are valid and neither should be diminished.
It’s not about a debate, more like as Black men we need to relate and shine the light Where it need be seen.Any man knows that if you go back and forth with a woman, sooner or later she’ll hit that nerveand when that occurs, hence, man looses control.
It’s crazy that that’s your takeaway from my posts, but also expected. People are so defensive. This is a public forum I thought, and I just wanted to share. I didn’t just talk about myself. I talked about the Meg/Tory situation and how it relates to my own experiences with domestic violence. No idea how that invalidates my empathy for black woman. But, ya can’t please everybody. Soooo…
And lol… How am I making excuses? You sound kinda stubborn if I sound “angry.” I said what Tory did is unacceptable. I don’t see how adding my input interferes with the author’s bottom line. As I said, some people are just never pleased. You can go ahead and tell me more about how not empathetic I am toward black women. I’ll wait.
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