In this week’s Pulse Report, we’re going to see how DMX ended up getting GTA’d, look at how much Drake got owned by the Internet, stand back in amazement of Kreayshawn coming back to life and oh SOHH much more.

[Editor’s Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

1. GTA: Ruff Ryders Edition

I don’t know why, but I keep on trying to figure out whether I feel sorry for DMX or really feel like he’s well past his prime and needs to hang it up. No offense, but it’s like the homeless people on the subways. As much as you can’t stand the begging and pleas for money, you can’t hate them or even knock their hustle as much as you want to. Well, I have found a happy median for all parties involved. Laughter. Yup, laughter is the key to happiness and if we can somehow playfully laugh at DMX’s woes, then maybe, in some weird, sick sort of way, everyone wins?


Former platinum-selling rapper DMX was arrested, for the third time this year, last night after a traffic stop in Greer, South Carolina yielded three bags of weed.

DMX, real name Earl Simmons, 42, was in the passenger seat of an F350 driven by his friend Anitra Rhodes, 39. According to the Associated Press, the F350 made an illegal U-turn that got the attention of police which then led to the traffic stop. South Carolina police said they noticed a warrant out for DMX stemming from a prior case of driving with no license and let X know that he needed to go to jail.

One of the police officers reported seeing ” a bag of green plant material I knew to be marijuana” in the passenger side armrest, where DMX happened to be sitting. X said the weed wasn’t his and then told police that he “had breathing trouble.”

“At this point, Mr. Simmons became very aggressive with his words and was making multiple idle threats,” the police report said. “The smell of alcohol coming from his person became very strong.” X was placed under arrest for the warrant and also given a citation for simple possession of marijuana. Simmons was booked into the Greer jail, but released on bail hours later, according to a police spokesman.

Anitra Rhodes, DMX’s assistant, was charged with improper lane change and simple possession of marijuana after three bags of weed were found under the driver’s seat.

On July 26, Greenville police pulled DMX over because he was spotted driving a 1978 Plymouth station wagon erratically on the road. X was given a field sobriety test and failed. He was charged with DUI, driving without a license and driving without a seat belt.

Where are the Ruff Ryders when you need them? (Us Tomo News)

^ I understand this is Taiwanese but I can’t help but think they’re really kinda racist with this. SMH. And to be 100 with y’all, the real reason I went with this is because it really makes me hyped up over the new Grand Theft Auto V dropping in a few weeks. LOL. Since when did X grow his hair out? SMH. C’mon, doggies.

2. The Drizzy Blues

Can Drake finally stop it with these emo-style covers? It wasn’t bad enough with Take Care, now we have some “Man in the Mirror” type of cover here with the cover art to Nothing Was the Same, really? LOL. Thank God for doggies having a sense of humor and not falling into that overly emo stuff Drake stays preaching on the low-low. NBA 2K? Blue Ivy Carter? LOL!!!!!!!!

^ DEAD!!! LOL!!! On a serious note, there’s no telling what the music is going to sound like this time around but can Drake just do a normal album cover? Even Thank Me Later was more down to Earth than these past couple of album covers. SMH.

3. Moment of the Week: Kreayshawn’s Knocked Up Photos

I’m not going to lie, I really hated that “Gucci Gucci” track for all it was worth. LOL. I think I secretly wanted to like it but feared how corny rap would have become if Kreay would have been able to push those types of records out and actually win. SMH. But she seemed to keep failing left and right. It was the whole N-Word situation. Then it was her taking a jab at Rick Ross in a Ustream or freestyle. Then it was her album flopping. Just a bunch of kinda sad and bad stuff happened. Well, with her music on pause and a baby on the way, she’s looking a lot more like someone who has woke up. I can’t fake, she might have a little MILF ‘ism potential there! LOL. Good moment of the week. Huge props to Frank 151 for the dope pics!

Hate her or love her, Kreay’s not quite Yung Berg but she’s up there with rappers that kinda had some hot momentum but just couldn’t escape the #FAIL moments. Do doggies still do “#FAIL” anyway? LOL. Glad to see she’s getting her ‘ish straight and even stopped smoking weed/cigarettes.

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Joe Budden’s Wifey

Look, let’s just skip to the chase. I have no idea what her name is but Joe Budden has a new wifey and she’s THiCK. No offense, Joe, but how the hell do you keep on getting these extra thick shorties with the small waists? I mean, they all seem pretty legit too, not the type to try and snuff you or Instagram you when you’re asleep too. The evidence is still scarce but look and see for yourself. FYI: Look at the little kid and the guy in the back staring at the fatty! It’s legit!


5. Rappers Say The Darndest Things

There’s too many doggies in this world, I promise you. LOL! Too much was coming out of rappers’ mouths this week and y’all know I’m here to point it all out. First off, we gotta bring Cassidy back to reality by claiming he’s the king of the whole country. SMH. C’mon, Cass. I mess with you but you gotta bring bars back down to reality. Then it’s Foxy Brown claiming it’s going to take a “lot” of money for her to leave Def Jam. Phone home to Def Jam, do y’all even know she’s still on the label? SMH. Trinidad James is losing his relevance pretty fast and now hearing he wants to knuckle up instead of diss another rapper on wax? SMH. Huh? How many teeth are you missing again? Maybe that’s reason enough to keep it on wax. Big Daddy Kane, you’re a vet but you really didn’t have any say in the “King of New York” debate and especially trying to referee anything. Finaly, 5-0 Cent calling a judge a rap-hating racist? Really, 5-0? Really? SMH.

1. Cassidy

“I’m not that old, but got old money /That’s why the n*ggas wanna be me and the h*es love me /They got gallons of that sh*t that cure colds from me /And they get that sh*t that they sniff up there nose from me /It’s a f*cking rizzy, cause I get f*cking busy /So f*ck a city, I’m the king of the whole country /I talk that sh*t cause I could back it up /Rap it up, if you can’t rap before I smack you up /Yup, your b*tch come told me to snatch her up /But I just got head cause her a** wasn’t fat enough /I put years and add ’em up, Plus I’m married to hip-hop, you ain’t gon’ f*ck my marriage up”

2. Foxy Brown

“There have been offers, of course. I’ve only been signed to one label my entire career, which is Def Jam.” The rapper in fact signed a distribution deal with E1 Music in 2007 for her Black Rose Entertainment label, but failed to put out an LP during its duration. “My bar is set so high that any label that I go to now has to be an incredible situation for me — financially and spiritually,” Brown said. “I’m on this whole maturation journey; I’m a different person.” The 34-year-old’s fourth studio album, tentatively titled Bandz Up, is in the early stages of recording, though she did debut a title track back in July at a live show for NYC Pride at El Morocco. “I just picked the mic back up,” she revealed. ” ‘Bandz Up’ was the first record that I did.”

3. Trinidad James

“It’s all love, I mean, I make music to answer a lot of those types of questions,” James said in an interview when asked about Budden’s lines. “I don’t consider it a diss. I’m from the streets so a n*gga talking is like a n*gga talking. A n*gga punching, you don’t like me, then you fight me. That’s why I make the songs to let you know, if you don’t like me, then you can fight me. I’m never going to diss you back, we gonna throw these hands back and forth. That’s all this is about.”

4. Big Daddy Kane

Kane, whose been a part of the rap game long enough to see rappers like Kool Moe Dee and Busy B battle each other, was concerned that the verse would only lead to a “Twitter battle.” “I was basically trying to say to the MCs out there that really believe that they’re real MCs, and they’re in it for the sport, if you’re upset with what dude said then respond. That’s what an MC does,” Kane said. Kane also reminisced about sharing raps with Kool G Rap at two in the morning, and being pitted against fellow legendary MC, Rakim. Although a mutual friendship with Eric B., Rakim’s longtime DJ and producer, stopped Kane from ever spitting at Rakim, a rap line written by the latter almost changed that.

5. 5-0 Cent

50 Cent says he got SCREWED in court recently because the judge was a rap-hating RACIST … and now he wants the allegedly bias ruling overturned … this according to court docs. Earlier this year 50 and company called Sleek Audio were embroiled in a bitter lawsuit. 50 claimed Sleek owed him over $261,000. Sleek said otherwise. The case went to arbitration — a binding process in which an arbitrator picks the winner. Bad news for 50, the arbitrator sided with Sleek (the final $$$ judgement was kept under wraps). But 50 refuses to gently into that good night … and is taking the battle to federal court — claiming the arbitration judge discriminated against him because he’s black, associates with controversial African-American figures AND because he’s a high profile rap artist.

***LOL!!! I’m still rolling over those disses to Drake’s cover art! LOL! Mad funny. Aight doggies, if you’re not ready for school then you’re tight over your summer Fridays getting ready to go away for good. LOL. Enjoy the weekend and watch my main doggy Geno Smith turn into a superstar when Gang Green takes on those New York Giants on Saturday! I’ll catch y’all on Tuesday! -BB***