Chris Samuel
SOHH recently interviewed R. Kelly's ex-wife, Andrea Kelly, where she discussed many common issues within the Black community. For decades, relationship issues in the Black community have existed, and Andrea highlighted five.
With deeply rooted issues in the Black community that go back for centuries, it’s essential to understand how the problems arise to start breaking generational curses.
According to Andrea Kelly, these are five reasons why many Black relationships fail:
1. The “Strong Black Woman” Narrative
Andrea addressed how Black women have been taught for decades to be “strong” when they go through pain or suffering. She shared that this can be damaging to women over time.
Many have expressed that it can be a daunting feeling.
This is especially since most would rather embrace their femininity where they can be soft, gentle, and kind instead of a “strong Black woman.”
The Burlesque dancer stated:
“I want to be a flower. I want to be delicate. I want to have a breakdown. I want the whole family to say get the kids she going through it. So we need to stop that on all levels immediately. I just want to be a woman.”
In addition, Black men feel that watching their women be “strong” is normal.
2. Toxic And Abusive Relationships
Ms. Drea, the divorcee of embattled singer, R. Kelly, is no stranger to this issue.
She insisted that no relationship can thrive with abuse or toxicity, and it seems to have been normalized in our community with music, movies, etc.
Trauma can build up over the years and later cause emotional distress.
3. Lack Of Protection For Children
Another point Ms. Kelly made was that the community’s plagues that get ignored include domestic violence and child molestation.
Family members that commit these acts are usually not excluded from family gatherings. Rather than limiting them, they should simply not be invited to protect the children better.
4. Feeding Negativity Into Children
She also added that Black boys are constantly told that they are bad or “no good” like their father, eventually believing it to be true.
Meanwhile, with Black girls, mothers tell them they don’t need a man to take care of them, and that separation will happen, causing the family to pull apart.
5. Lack Of Respect
No respect on either side could mean cheating, deceit, and manipulation.
Without respect, there is no trust, and no relationship can be healthy or sustained without one.
When asked what kind of advice should be given to a girlfriend or sister who may be experiencing this within their relationship, Andrea told SOHH:
“I would say don’t give them relationship advice. Give them ‘woman’ advice. Because sometimes you don’t need somebody constantly telling you what’s wrong or how bad he’s treating you. Sometimes you just need to hear you’re worth better. I love you. There’s somebody out there for you.”
Andrea Kelly Tells It All
Andrea Kelly, the ex-wife of R.Kelly, sat down for a SOHH Exclusive on her past troubled marriage, healing, and the hypersexualization of Black women.
The Burlesque dancer also talked about how her ex-husband blamed his sexual depravity on her passion to be a burlesque dancer instead of a housewife.
