Grammy-winning rapper Jay-Z recently opened up about preparing for fatherhood and how he still gets slightly concerned over following in his late dad’s footsteps.
Although Jay’s father left his family while he was a kid, Hov feels high principals steer him away from making the same mistakes.
“It makes me a little paranoid because no matter what, I don’t think any person, or any male, goes into a relationship thinking that they’re going to leave or wouldn’t be there,” he tells PEOPLE at GQ’s Men of the Year party at the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood. “I think the circumstances a lot of times dictates things, right?” But the music mogul says he is not his father, a subject he also addresses on “New Day” from his new album, Watch the Throne. “I’m just a different kind of guy,” he says. “I’m a highly principled person.” “I come from a real place where you had to be a highly principled person,” he continues, “so, I’m pretty confident that I’ll figure it out.” (People)
In a new GQ Magazine feature, Jay reflects on his father, Adnis Reeves‘ struggles with alcohol.
Reeves loved all the things Jay-Z loves today– sports, food, and especially music. He had the best record collection in the neighborhood. … But when his brother was murdered, Reeves imploded. Slipped into alcoholism and other forms of substance abuse. “He was gone,” Jay says. “He was not himself.” Jay’s mother, Gloria Carter, tried to push him to see his son; there were meetings scheduled that Reeves didn’t show up for. They didn’t see each other again until 2003. “[I talked about] what it did to me, what it meant, asked him why. There was no real answer. There was nothing he could say, because there’s no excuse for that. There really isn’t. So there was nothing he could say to satisfy me, except to hear me out. And it was up to me to forgive and let it go.” By then the doctors had told Reeves to quit drinking, and Reeves had kept on drinking, and a month after he and Jay had that conversation–which Jay wrote about on The Black Album‘s “Moment of Clarity”–he died. (GQ)
In 2009, Jay spoke to renowned television host Oprah Winfrey about his late father.
“My mom had set up a meeting with [my late father] and I didn’t want to do it. I had so many disappointments, ‘You were supposed to come see me when I was younger.’ … I got a chance to really tell him everything that’s on my mind, how I felt, how him leaving made my feel and we dealt with it and from there I was able to free myself, it allowed me to express myself and bring people in again…” (“The Oprah Winfrey Show”)
On Jay’s Black Album record, “Moment of Clarity,” he reflects on his father’s passing.
“Pop died, didn’t cry, didn’t know him that well/Between him doing heroin and me doing crack sales/Put that in the eggshell, standing at the tabernacle/Rather the church, pretending to be hurt wouldn’t work/So a smirk was all on my face/Like “d*mn, that man’s face is just like my face”/So pop, I forgive you for all the sh*t that I lived through/It wasn’t all your fault, homie you got caught/Into the same game I fought, that Uncle Ray lost/My big brothers and so many others I saw/ I’m just glad we got to see each other/Talk and re-meet each other/Save a place in heaven ’til the next time we meet forever!” (“Moment of Clarity”)
Jay-Z and wife/singer Beyonce Knowles are expecting their first child in February 2012.
Check out some recent Jay-Z footage below: