In this week's Pulse Report the streets are buzzing about G-Unit exposing Young Buck's drug problem, Ray J's guide to picking up women, Soulja Boy practing the new humpty dance on his homeboy and the top 5 women I wanna...

[Editor Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]

1. War On Drugs. The more things change, the more they stay the same for G-Unit. You would think that after 50 Cent gave Buck his dishonorable discharge and Buck honorably accepted, the two combatants would go to their neutral corners. You would think? Instead the two sides continue to throw barbs at one another. First Buck responded with the retort track "My Interview," as an effort to say his part on the break-up.

"I heard the same things you heard like 50 kicked him out / or Buck sniffs coke and he flips out / it's too late, the whole world know what I be bout," he rhymes on the track. [Listen Here]

Of course it wasn't long before 50 would fire back at Buck. During an interview with MTV, Fif shot down Buck's attempt to downplay the revelation that his serious drug problem was the cause for his financial woes.

"Well, Buck, he doesn't think very clear," Fif said. "He has things to help him not think clear - not using a sober mind when you're doing things. I knew he would do that first, because he felt if he mentioned the things that people said he did in a song, it would defuse [perceptions of him]. He said, 'Yeah, I sip syrup. Yeah, I did this. I did things wrong.' If you say it in the music, [the fans] can accept it, because they had stars prior to this use drugs. They don't have a problem with Amy Winehouse. There is a lot of other rock stars who use drugs and sh*t like that. I don't see how they would feel that that's unacceptable. Some of their favorite rappers are sipping syrup. Me, personally, I don't do it. I'm getting high off the situation of accomplishing my goals."

Tony Yayo chimed in during a radio interview with Incognito Da Yungsta.

"I don't appreciate the fact he trying to make it seem like we not eating over here," said Yayo. "That's not the case. He was doing too much spending. That's the case. Sniffing the cocaine and all the other drugs he was doing. That's where you messed up your money."

Ding, Ding, Ding! End of Round 3! Go to your corners fellas. First let me say kudos to Fif for the nice little "drug free" message he laid on the youngsters. Surely this will go a long way in making up for the violence and misogyny you spew on the regular.

At this point G-Unit really needs to leave Buck alone. Let him live his life. Let him sign with Lil' Wayne. He gets to make good music and a lifetime supply of syrup and drugs.

2. Hitch. Its appears that making a sex tape with Kim Kardashian, snatching up Whitney Houston from Bobby Brown and banging Karrine "Superhead" Steffens has qualified Ray J as hip-hop' resident Hitch. The R&B gigglo recently discussed the secrets to his mack game on an episode of "Yo! MTV Raps" with DJ Cipha Sounds. [Watch here]

Apparently one of Ray J's favorite moves is the ever-popular, "Captain Caveman body snatcher".

"You gotta grab'em by the arm, pull'em and say 'girl you coming with me,'" he said. "The aggressiveness. The classiest ones want that."

Careful when you apply this tactic, in most states this is considered assault.

Now fellas I must warn you to not try this unless you've:

A: Put out a sex tape with a fine ass socialite diva.

B: Smashed a Grammy-award winning R&B diva

C: Sold fewer records in your career than Mariah Carey notched in a week.

Good luck.

3. Bump & Grind. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. But if you're a 17 year-old rapper it sends your hormones out of wack. Teen sensation Soulja Boy recently caused a stir with a YouTube video that captured him in an uncompromising position with his partner in rhyme Arab. [Watch here]

It appears that after spending three weeks away from his buddy, Soulja couldn't contain his joy or restrain his little solider boy from getting his dry hump on.

SMH. Listen here kid, we don't want you to feel like there is something wrong with what you've done. It's okay. It's just that when you said "Superman that h*e" we kinda had it our heads that Superman was cranking Lois Lane, not Lex Luthor. But if that's your thing, do you. We're not ones to judge.

Yeah right! Ni*gga that sh*t was gay! LOL!

4. Ski Mask Way. Plies is getting ready to drop his sophomore disc, Definition Of A Goon, and his album cover is looking real familiar. [Peep this]

Donning a ski mask and an ice grill the Florida rapper swagger jacked Young Buck's Straight Outta Cashville album cover look.

How wack is that? Where is the originality in today's game? Seriously, it used to be biting someone's style was a major offense in hip-hop, now it's a common offense. Look at how Lil' Wayne and Snoop Dogg stole T-Pain's thing to make hit records. That's not what hip-hop was built on. Man, see what ya'll doing? Ya'll got me sounding like KRS-One up in this b*tch. I could care less what Pies album looks like. I ain't buying it no way. But the album cover that needs to be paid homage to is 2 Live Crew's As Nasty As They Wanna Be. Come on Ying Yang Twins, that's the next album cover for ya'll.

5. Baddest Chicks. It's that time of year again; FHM dropped their "100 Sexist Women In The World" list. Alongside the anorexic super models and drugged out Hollywood chicks, a few hip-hop hotties made the cut.

11. Rihanna

17. Beyonce (Ouch! Jay-Z may want to upgrade after this.)

44. Alesha Dixon (A true sleeper. Get familiar with the name.)

46. HalleBerry (G.M.O.A.T = Greatest MILF Of All Time)

49. Nicole Scherzinger

Damn! No Alicia Keys? FHM kinda messed up on this one. They omitted some of hip-hop's hottest joints - Gabrielle Union, Kerry Washington - settling for washed-up retreads like Lindsay Lohan and Christina Aguilera.

In an effort to correct these miscues I offer you the "Top 5 Women I'd Like To Fucque".

1. Alicia Keys - Beauty and half a brain.

2. Keyshia Cole - My Ghetto boo.

3. Dania Ramirez - My girl gotta girlfriend.

4. D. Woods - Boy would I damage that.

5. K.D Aubert - She's the black Angelina Jolie minus the orphanage.

Whose in your top 5?

Aurevoir sal cons! Fucque forever!