S. Samuel
What up. Did everyone have their cup of Ciroc this morning? You'd better: Rap mogul Diddy tried to strong arm and blasted club patrons for not drinking enough Ciroc Vodka at a party in Atlanta this past weekend. Anyway, no one wants to piss off Diddy, so we've assembled this list of 5 things you'd better be doing with Ciroc.
Ciroc Bathing
What better way to unwind after a hard day at the office than to settle into a lukewarm tub full of distilled vodka? At an impressive 80 proof, you don’t even have to drink the stuff, the alcohol will seep right into your pores, offering an osmosis intoxication designed only for the grown and sexy. Ciroc n*gga!
Ciroc Planking
Just when you thought the planking craze was dead — we invented the remix. Balancing your entire body weight on an empty bottle of Ciroc lets street n*ggas know two things: 1) You are a 5th Generation Tai Chi master. 2) You drank an entire bottle of Red Berry Ciroc and are liable to go into an alcohol-induced coma at any moment — so keep 911 on speed dial.
Ciroc Spinning (The Bottle)
Spin the Bottle is the first foray into foreplay for ‘tweens and teens across the country. But when you play it in 2011, that a** better make sure the only bottle being spun is a CIROC bottle — trust me, you don’t want Puff to come down to that basement and choke the sh*t outta you for not supporting his brand. Gather up some close friends of the opposite sex, take shots on shots on shots of Ciroc and let the hood times roll …
Ciroc Hitting
In 1999, Puff was accused of busting Steve Stoute of Interscope Records over the head with a champagne bottle over some music video beef. Champagne bottles, son? We off that. This is 2011: The era of skinny jeans, romantic thugs and swagoo. In 2011, we bust n*ggas over the head with nothing less than a family-sized bottle of Coconut Ciroc Vodka. Real rap.
Ciroc Cologne: I Am Drunk
Diddy has made millions off his fragrance “I Am King”. But let’s be real: We’re in a recession, n*ggas wanna smell good and look good, but maybe your money ain’t right. Which is why Ciroc doubles as a cologne. That’s right, take a sip — it’s Ciroc. Rub a handful on your chest like Vick’s and voila, you have “I Am Drunk”, the latest fragrance from Diddy. Thank me later.
Diddy is out here really enforcing consumption of Ciroc, so we hope this list helps you work his beloved brand of vodka into your daily life by any means necessary.
