LeBron James Reveals 24-Hour Personal DJ, KimYe Go All-Gold Everything Toilets, J. Cole Shines Golden Bright
Turnt Up Thursday. It’s one of those turnt up days and what better way to get things going than with LeBron James going hard with his own personal 24-hour deejay? Speaking of balling, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are sitting pretty on some gold toilets? Someone also sitting on gold these days is J. Cole and his new Born Sinner album. All this coming up in SOHH Whatcha Think.
LeBron James Fiancée Looks Hot, Pharrell Defends Nude Video, KimYe Wedding Plans Back On?
Freaking Friday. It’s a freaky Friday so why not get things started by looking at LeBron James‘ wife, up-close-and-personal? Speaking of must-see women, it’s no secret that the girls featured in Pharrell, Robin Thicke and T.I.‘s “Blurred Lines” music video are completely naked, but Pharrell has a different take on the public’s mixed reactions. Speaking of mixed feelings, the KimYe wedding plans now look like they might be back on? All this coming up in SOHH Whatcha Think.
Kanye West’s Best B*tchy Moment Ever, Must-Read Questlove Letter, Lil Wayne’s Biggest Groupie FAIL
In this week’s Pulse Report, we’re going to give it up to whoever is responsible for leaking the best Kanye West rant audio, ever, take five minutes out of our lives to read the realest story from The Roots’ Questlove, shake our heads at the extremes a Lil Wayne groupie will go and oh SOHH much more!
[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]
1. When It All Falls Down
I have no idea how it’s possible that four years after Kanye West exploded on Taylor Swift, audio from his “dinner” with so-called friends would come out. To make it even more interesting, it’s pretty damn good audio too. This isn’t some RadarOnline special with a “he-said, she-said,” this is Kanye West talking in what he thought was the comfort of his friends after the 2009 VMAs and letting it all hang out. I’m talking about him admitting he goes back into the studio to rewrite raps, him saying F**K MTV, of which I have been saying since they started that overrated “Hottest MCs in the Game” list, and even throwing P!nk under the bus! LOL. I’m going to save y’all the hassle of rading Gawker’s write-up, which they claim they happened to get their hands on the audio and “aren’t sure” if it’s really Kanye but are pretty certain it is. They did a pretty good job at transcribing the whole rant too, including some random doggies speaking up. Peep Kanye going off:
I’d rather just let the [inaudible] speak for itself. You know, it’s like, I was happy to be in a situation where people couldn’t say, oh, I was trying to promote my own song. For the times that I’ve, like, defended myself… [Tape break] I’m pushing the envelope! I wrote my fuckin’ ‘Run This Town’ verse for a fuckin’ month! When I heard Eminem’s verse on the Drake shit, I went back and rewrote my shit for two days. I canceled appointments to rewrite! I fuckin’ care! You know what I’m saying? And that’s what I’m saying. Because I did that, Taylor Swift cannot win over Beyoncé! Because I wrote my verse in two days, Taylor Swift cannot beat Beyoncé. As long as I’m alive! And if I’m alive, kill me then! Kill me then! As long as I’m alive, you gon’ have to deal with it. ‘Cause there ain’t gonna be no more motherfucking Elvises with no James Browns.
[A female voice asks, "Why are you so angry? What's the anger?"] Because my mother got arrested for the fuckin’ sit-ins. My mother died for this fame shit! I moved to fuckin’ Hollywood chasing this shit. My mother died because of this shit. Fuck MTV.
It ain’t no love. What the fuck was Pink performing? Don’t nobody know that song. Pink performed twice! Two songs? How the fuck Pink perform two songs and I didn’t even get asked to perform “Heartless.” “Heartless” is the biggest song of the year! It had the most spins of the first quarter! I don’t know that Pink song! But I noticed that she’s pink! They put me in a fuckin’ room and [inaudible - maybe "projected it"].
[A male voice asks, "How the fuck did Eminem get the Best Hip-Hop song in 2008?"] Eminem won Best Video! Rap Video! Yo, when he wont that shit, I was so happy. I was so happy I [unclear - "ran all this shit," maybe]. I said, “Nigga, I’m gon’ do this until y’all put a bullet in my head. I’m runnin’ up to y’all, put a…” [tape cuts]. (Gawker)
Hi-lar-i-ous! There’s so much awesomeness connected to this rant that I don’t even know where to begin. For one, this is probably the most “relaxed” setting we’ll ever have heard Kanye. Y’all see him in front of the TMZ cameras screaming, “DON’T EVER TALK” and so you know he’s not as candid as Jay-Z has become with press.
Secondly, he’s letting it all out. You know how sometimes you just speak whatever is on your mind, good or bad, when around good company? That’s what we’re hearing right here. Yeah, a lot of it may have something to do with alcohol in his system and him being Kanye, but the bottom line is Kanye’s letting it all out. He even talks about his mom going out to Hollywood and dying over the fame, a line that he put in 2011′s Watch the Throne album.
Third, I mean, do you really need me to go on? It’s sad because now we’ve become familiar with the crying and screaming Kanye and even when he does rants, they don’t feel authentic. They’re almost expected and sort of lose value. This, ladies and doggies, is Kanye at his best. To the doggy responsible for secretly recording this, you are horribly awesome! LOL.
2. The Realest Sh*t I Ever Read
It’s been a very real week for a doggy like me on numerous accounts. The first and biggest reason is having taken the time to read a very heartfelt and personal open letter from Questlove, of The Roots, about the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman situation. Now before y’all start scrolling past this, hear/read me out for a second. This is not what you’ve been seeing on the Internet, hearing on the radio or even reading (doggies still do that?). I took what I thought would be 5-seconds to peep his letter and actually turned it into 5-minutes. I’ve never been a Roots fan and thought Questlove was just a regular doggy that played drums and was cool with Dave Chappelle, but after reading this, he opened a lot of things up for me. Grab something to drink, maybe take a bite out of something tasty or just relax, this is very important:
well….most of you read the book so that means you’re familiar with Rich by now. i just landed in the states and he was my first call. i was listening to msnbc on the radio, so this is the first time im getting real time reaction/news from an american source about the Martin case. im trying not to internalize this *feeling* and make it about *me*—but hey it is what it is, maybe i’m mellow dramatic—but all i’m consumed with is my positioning in life.
all the time i tell these cute self depreciating celeb run ins when i get a pie in the face moment. but rarely do i share stories of a more serious nature pie in the face moments.—-all i could keep saying was “thank god for my good fortune”—i can’t tell you how many times a year im in a serious situation only to hear the magic words “oh….wait…Questlove?—-hey guys its Questlove—we’re so sorry you can go”—mostly because in the age of social media most people are quick to dismiss my tales as #FirstWorldProblems—so unless its super major (did i ever FB the story of how the Buffalo DEA held me cause they thought i was a drug lord back in 2006?—multiply that scenario by a realistic 40—like 5-7 times a year a night ending in the words “thank god for that afro, we’d never have recognized you” happens to me.)
so a friend of mine sent me this apology letter. all the time i’m in scenarios in which primitive exotic looking me (6’2, 300 lbs, uncivilized afro for starters) finds himself in places that people that look like me aren’t normally found. i mean what can i do? i have to be somewhere on earth correct? in the beginning (let’s say 2002 when the gates of “hey ahmir would you like to come to…..(name swanky elitist place)?” opened. initially i’d say “no”—mostly because its been hammered in my DNA to not “rock the boat”—which since i wanna keep it real means not make “certain people” feel uncomfortable.
—i mean that is a crazy way to live.
seriously imagine a life in which you think of other people’s safety and comfort first before your own. you’re kinda programmed and taught that from the gate. its like the opposite of entitlement.
problem is i DO have desires to go to certain places and do certain things. and enjoy the perks and benefits of a person who works his arse off as much as i do. so i got over my hangups of not wanting to be the odd guy in the room sometime around 2007.
mixed results at best. some of it is “oh that wasn’t that bad”, some of it was “well…that was awkward….” (this is the prime reason i hate vacations. those that know me well and always ask why i never take them—main reason? i don’t feel like being the “odd guy out” at vacation spots—-hence that hobo journey of 2009 train trip i took was the best one i ever took. no scaring people on a train ride.
—anywho imma share a portion of the letter. i was explaining to a friend something i found troubling but managed to find humor in. my friends know that i HATE parking lots and elevators, not because they are places that danger could occur but its a prime place in which someone of my physical size can be seen as a danger element. i wait and wait in cars until i feel its safe for me to make people feel safe.—i know most of yall are eye rolling, but if you spent a good 3 months in these size 14s you’d understand why i take that position.
so here is setup.
i live in a “nice building”. i work hard. you know i work hard.—my logic is (naive alert in 5…4….3…2..) “well, there cant be any fear of any type in this building, you first of all gotta go through hell and high water just to get accepted to live here like its Dartmouth or U Penn. secondly there’s like 5-8 guards on duty 24/7 so this spot is BEYOND safe. like oscar winners and kids of royalty and sports guys and mafia goomahs live here. so one night i get in elevator and just as the door closes this beautiful woman gets on. because of a pain in the arse FOB card device you have to use to get to your floor it just makes it an easier protocol for whoever is pressing floors to take everyone’s request like you are at the window of a drive thru (what floor? “54…..82…….43……76……”) —so i press my floor number and i ask her “what floor ma’am?” (yes i say ma’am because….*sigh* anyway—) she says nothing….stands in the corner.—mind you i just discovered the candy crush ap so if anything im the rude one cause im more obsessed on winning this particular board than anything else. plus in my head “no way i can be a threat to a woman this fine if im buried deep in this game—so surely she feels safe”
so the humor comes in that i thought she was on my floor cause she never acknowledged my floor request. she was also bangin’ so inside i was like (“dayuuuuuuuuuuum she lives on MY floor? *bow chicka wowowowowwoooowwww!!!”)—like i was kinda happy cause as far as i knew—only 6 people occupied the 9 spots on my floor. so instantly i was on some “what dessert am i welcoming committee’ing her with?!”—anywho, the door opens and i waited to let her off first cause i am a gentleman (old me woulda rushed first thus not putting me in the position to have to follow her god forbid if she too makes a left as well (always in this position in dark hotel hallways—sandra bernhard will deny this til the cows come home but she was scared out of her mind the first night we accidentally met in a hotel in which i had the misfortune to be on same floor and having to follow her all the way down the worlds darkest art deco hallway to our rooms—we joked about it years later but it was tense)—so door opens and i flirt “ladies first”—she says “this is not my floor”. so then i assume she is FOBless (food delivery people often get wrong floors and we press them to right floors) so i pulled card out assuming she didn’t live in building to press her floor yet again….she offers “that’s okay”….
then it hit me…”oh god…she purposely held that information back”
—the door closed but it was a “pie in the face” moment.
i laughed at it. —
well…..inside i cried, but its like if i cried at every insensitive act that goes on in the name of safety as far as im concerned….id have to be committed to a psych ward. so i just taught myself throughout the years to just accept it and maybe even see it funny. each second that went by it kept eating at me (“well i guess she never watched the show…”…..”my english was super clear…i called her “ma’am like i was webster”….”well those that know you know that you’re cool, but you definitely know that you are a walking rape nightmare right ahmir? of course she was justified on not saying her floor that was her prerogative!…you are kinda scary looking i guess?) i mean its a bajillion thoughts….all of them self depreciating voices slowly eating my soul away.—
so i told the friend the story about how i think i scared the lady in my above secure building elevator so much that she wanted to wait til i LEFT before she felt it safe enough to press her floor number…..
(this is the response/email apology i got today)
“I am wrong about many things, but I want to apologize for taking a particular story you told me too lightly.
…………you told me that a few days prior a woman had joined you in an elevator and on the way up to your floor you asked her what floor she was going to. she said nothing, so you just assumed she was going to your floor. When you arrived at your floor, she didn’t get off.
I told you I didn’t care much about race anymore and I meant it…..”
that was jist of the letter (i edited stuff out)
in short she gave me the dismissive/”cry me a river” response most people default to which of course just translates and filters to “oh…my feelings DON’T count”
because….my feelings don’t….count.
i dont know why its that way. mostly i came to the conclusion that people over 6 feet and over weight regulation or as dark as me (or in my tax bracket) simply don’t have feelings.
or its assumed we don’t have feelings.
i mean its partially right. i literally figured the only way for me to not go insane in a career that creates junkies (or at best Kanye) is to desensitize myself from feelings.
thing is though, im a halfway crook.
an awesome poker player. so yeah, i hurt….
but i’ll be damned if i let YOU know that.
so call me a 75% robot/25% human being. (this should also explain to you why im able to work mammoth hours with 0 complaints)
so when i got off the plane this morning and i was waiting in customs i read that apology note…
and it kinda touched me. like that “vindication moment when the misunderstood character on tv finally proves they are not crazy and people see it their way FINALLY”—she related to me and it was a gut punch i wasn’t expecting in an already emotional day—so…i guess i started to almost….cry?
so then Rich hits me on the phone seconds later
i know its sad to say, but we in the Roots circle love each other like family…..but not enough to trust each other in vulnerable moments. i mean this is a man who waited til he was ON the operating table minutes away from surgery to finally reveal to me he was going through a life or death cancer procedure simply because he didn’t wanna distract me or create excuses as to why i didn’t finish my book (majority of the back and forth banter talk from Mo Meta was done with him in a hospital without my knowledge—that’s how deep “feelings” are buried in this circle)
so i’m doing my best “straighten up, stop sobbing” shtick and he says “what’s wrong?”—4 seconds flat i bury it and im back to normal.
im not proud of that.
i spent 11 of the last 20 years in therapy trying to deal with that.
so i decided to abandon operation “bury”—and i said “well…..”
rich: what’s wrong?
i mean how do i answer that? this does NOT feel like an average day: remember how nice everyone was post 911? eerie. almost surreal.
like everyone is acting “too nice” and i dunno how to process that. then there are people that are acting like nothing happened (“hey quest, where is dave chappelle at?!!??!”)—its just one of those days that doesn’t feel normal to me.
—so rich keeps picking at the question like a 3 month old scab from camping
and im like “need i say it?!?!”
but its like i cant tell if he’s provoking me or not…..—half the time im thinking he’s waiting for me to complain about last nights show in amsterdam.—then im like “am i embarrassed to tell rich i feel horrible in general?”—i dont know how to not internalize the overall message this whole trayvon case has taught me:
you aint shit.
that’s the lesson i take from this case.
you aint shit.
those words are deep cause these are words i heard my whole life:
i heard from adults in my childhood that i need to be “about something” other than all that banging and clanging and music i play all the time”….and as i got older i heard i wasn’t as good as “so and so and so and so” is at music. —i mean the “you a’int shit” stories i got—jesus its a wonder i made it.
so…rich asks “wait…you’re not surprised are you?”
i wasn’t surprised at all, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting any less.
i mean i SHOULD be angry right?—i remember when Sean Bell’s outcome came out and i just knew “oh god new york is gonna go up in flames”—and like….noone was fuming…..it was like “shrug….no surprises here….that’s life”
so rich asks: “like are you surprised….that you aint shit”
i meant it hurts to hear it and i said “im not surprised at the disposition but who wants to be reminded?….what fat person wants to hear they aren’t pleasing to the eye. or what addict wants to hear they are a constant effup?—who wants to be reminded that *shrug* its just the way it is?
so i guess im struggling to get at least 1% of this feeling back from all this protective numbness ive built around me to keep me from feeling because at the end of the day….im still human….
….right? (QuestLove’s Facebook Page)
3. Moment of the Week: Lil Wayne Fan Leaves Kids To Attend Concert
Just stop it. Are you kidding me? There’s been some really messed up stuff I have read about over the past few years but this ranks somewhere in the Top 10. What type of mother, better yet, what type of “parent” would seriously leave their kids in a car in July, of all months of the year, to go and attend a rap concert? Rest assured, if Lil Wayne knew about this he would have called ol’ girl out during the concert and probably would have kicked her out. I’m still in shock as I type this out. Really? I get tight over kids being left in the whips at grocery store parking lots and here we have a woman going out to have some fun at a Lil Wayne show? SMH. Moment of the month, not week, right here:
A Florida woman left her two young children–ages five and three–unattended in her car for several hours while she attended a Lil Wayne concert last night, cops report.
Brittany Harris, 25, was arrested on a pair of child neglect charges after the children were left unsupervised in a parking lot at the South Florida Fairgrounds, according to a Palm Beach County Sherrif’s Office report.
Pictured in the adjacent mug shot, Harris attended the Lil Wayne show at the 19,000-seat Cruzan Amphitheatre. Booked into the county jail late last night, Harris is being held in lieu of $10,000 bond on each felony count.
After spotting the children standing near a Nissan Altima around 9:45 PM, an arena employee spoke to them and learned that Harris “went into the concert and left them to stay in the car.” The worker then escorted the children to a venue gate, where he turned them over to sheriff’s deputies.
At around 10:30 PM, after the concert ended, investigators located Harris in the parking lot. After initially claiming that her cousin had brought her children to the fairgrounds, Harris “confessed that she came here and left the kids to stay in the car so she could watch the concert.”
Since the children “were left unsupervised for several hours” in a “busy parking lot with an estimated 9000 patrons, numerous vehicles and intoxicated persons,” Harris was arrested and taken to jail. Simultaneously, child welfare workers were “notified to take possession of the kids” deputies reported. (The Smoking Gun)
Is this a shocker to any of y’all? Definitely take a minute to give her a piece of your mind on Twitter. I would put her Twitter handle on here but that’s just giving her even more promotion. These aren’t teenagers she’s leaving in the car either, we’re talking about a three-year-old and a five-year-old. That’s horrific. I know we probably have all had some bad experiences as kids, but being left alone for hours in an environment that could have had drunk people banging on the door?
I really have a hard time seeing this story any other way than just bad judgement. I know this can’t be the case, but what mother that truly loves her kids does this? If you know you’re going to the Lil Wayne concert, there’s no nanny or family relative you can leave the kids with? As bad as it sounds, she would have been better off just tucking them in to bed and leaving the TV on in her living room than to pull this stunt off. Hard to believe this stuff happens. SMH.
4. Mrs. Butterworth: Stacey Dash
I don’t even know how to explain it to y’all, but I’ve been craving Stacey Dash. You know how sometimes you can crave something you’ve never had but only smelled? For example, maybe you go into a Japanese restaurant and even though you have never tried the Hibachi section, you can smell how delicious it is. The same is happening to me with Stacey Dash. I’ve never met her face-to-face but having seen some of her movies and little cameos like in Paper Soldiers, I can’t get her out of my head. Who cares about all that political stuff she’s got going on, she’s got it GOING ON. Ya dig? LOL. Here’s my ode to your, Stacey. Hopefully this catches your attention and reminds you that a doggy like me will always have a place in his heart for you.
And to all of my diehard doggies out there that love an even better look at the one and only Stacey Dash, y’all know where to go. Unfortunately there are some pics you just can’t show on a site like SOHH, so do some Google searching and you’ll find them. LOL.
5. Rappers Say The Darndest Things
Last week was crazy, you all have to forgive me for that. LOL. But it’s back to the goods which are your favorite rappers talking out the side of their necks. It’s a no-brainer that Lil Reese would get featured in here this week for popping off to police while getting arrested? There’s a thin line between dumb and smart and that was really, really, really dumb. SMH. Then it’s 5-0 Cent trying to give an educated guess to why his “We Up” track flopped. As much as I love Kendrick Lamar, I gotta say it’s a song that isn’t as hot as 5-0 thinks and it’s also a song that originally had Kidd Kidd on it. LOL. What more science is there? Gotta take Timbaland down a notch. Doggy makes hard beats but saying George Zimmerman might off himself? SMH. There are full-blown criminals that get away with this stuff, hard to think Zimmerman is thinking of Trayvon Martin before thinking of making his story into a movie. And just because I’m a jealous doggy, I’m putting Big Sean‘s wifey out there. Why can’t I have my own Naya Rivera? AND I LIVE IN THE BRONX! LOL. Last but not least, it’s 5-0 again trying to fake about his music being more important than his money. SMH.
Yeah, Lil Reese might have had a little weed in his pocket.”So what?” the Def Jam rapper allegedly told Chicago police just before his latest arrest this weekend. “There’s serious crime out there,” he said, according to court records. “This ain’t a big deal. I’m gangster.” But it was enough to drag the 20-year-old Washington Park man back into bond court for the third time in three months Sunday. Lil Reese, whose real name is Tavares Taylor, was charged this time with drug possession and violating the conditions of his bail bond.
In the case of “We Up,” 50 was just positive that the record would be a hit, but since its release in May, it has largely remained an underground favorite. “I know it ain’t my ear [because] Kendrick said the same thing I said when I sent it to him, ‘Oh this is a hit.’ And everybody said the same thing,” he said before surmising that the market is currently oversaturated with rap music. “I think it comes from so much stuff being in front of people.”
“Look at me when I say this and don’t take it the wrong way but ask anybody to talk to God about this,” Tim says in a video. “Like, God bring all these natural disasters and you know some people make it through, some people don’t, you never know why that boy was walking and why did that happen. You gotta ask God why did that happen. If God come down to Earth, I think everyone would say, ‘God, you knew that was wrong, why would you let that happen?’ … I just pray for that family, man, cause I don’t know. Even though he did it, he’s screwed. He’s mentally ill. He’ll never be right, ever, in his life. You know how many times he probably wakes up like, ‘I messed up. I really messed up.’ He probably cries. It won’t probably be too long until he takes his own life. You’ll probably read about it. You don’t know what happened, man. Nobody knows what happened but God, the Devil, and them two people. Trayvon and that guy.”
“We met a while ago and we went to this little Italian restaurant for our first date,” she revealed. “[How long have we been official?] I don’t know, you should ask him. [laughs] He’s really supportive of the character that I play [on 'Glee']. Everyday when we go out, he sees fans come up [to me] and I tell him stories about people thanking me for playing this character; this helps them come out to their friends and family. He thinks it’s so cool.”
“I don’t really need the money off of the record. I want the record to be right. I’m not doing it without a plan; I’m not putting it out like that,” 50 told MTV News about his long-awaited fifth studio album. The multiplatinum rap king points to his label Interscope and says he won’t make a move until the record company is ready. “It’s a lot of staff changes, a lot of different people moving in and moving out, so you got to kind of wait until everything’s right; until it’s settled in,” he reasoned.
Kanye West Rages Against Kris Jenner, Nicki Minaj’s Strip Club Adventures Exposed, Kim K Sex Tape Ladies Twerk It Out
Thirsty Thursday. It’s a day full of thirst and what better way to get things going than with Kanye West getting upset at his soon-to-be mother-in-law Kris Jenner? Maybe he should cool off at the strip club and see how Nicki Minaj gets down? Speaking of getting freaky, it looks like some ladies attached to Kim Kardashian‘s infamous sex tape are now about that Twerk Life? All this coming up in SOHH Whatcha Think.