Weezy F. Baby. And the F is for fashionista. Ever since Lil Wayne sashayed across the Video Music Awards stage this year rocking leopard-print jeggings, the hip-hop world has been waiting to see what the self-proclaimed “Greatest Rapper Alive” may pull out the closet next.
So in honor of Tunechi’s 29th birthday and this sudden affliction toward women’s pants, we’ve put together a list of fall fashion ideas that may be right up his alley [pause].
1. A Red Bandana Bra
“Polo T-shirt, Polo drawls. Now help me take this red bra off.” Being a gangster is a round-the -clock job. N*ggas need to know what set you claim at all times, especially when things are about to get hot and heavy. This gang-inspired undergarment is the perfect holiday gift for the B-Cup Blood.
2. Thigh High Boots
Momma always said you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes. Where they’re goin … where they’ve been. No wait – momma never said that. That’s a line from the 1994 film, Forrest Gump. Either way, once Weezy slides into a pair of these bad boys, he’ll never rock a pair of Scooby Doo’s again. Those are shoes, by the way.
3. Woman’s Business Suit
Tunechi is a businessman and every businessman should own at least one suit. Wear this during your Young Money meetings and trust us, Drake will power down the BlackBerry and give you his undivided attention. The suit’s color is your choice, but remember this vital rule of office etiquette: The dress should rise no more than one inch above the knee. Anything else is just gay.
4. Woman’s Church Hat
“Snapback church hat, see his dreads through the hole.” D*mn Gucci and Girbaud. Where the h*ll you been? N*ggas dressin’ real reckless,stuntmen. Name brands may come and go, but a sturdy church hat is forever. Designed to sustain heat and strong winds, this item doubles as the perfect thinking cap for Wayne as he freestyles The Carter 5. Hallelujah, holla back.
5. A Jersey Dress
Ever the sports enthusiast, Weezy’s freakum dress would allow him to rep his favorite NBA team while still letting the world know that, yes, it’s the martian. Throw on a pair of Space Jam Jordan’s and you’ve got a ‘fit that’ll take you from work straight to happy hour. Thank us later.
From all of us at SOHH, Happy Birthday, Lil Wayne! And remember: Skinny jeans are one thing, but you never go full jegging.