Pulse Report: 50 Cent's Top 5 Biggest Mistakes, Wyclef Jean's Most Pause-Worthy Pose, Pinky & Her Brain

Friday, Oct 19, 2012 1:15PM

Written by Bulldog Butters

In this week's Pulse Report, we're examining 50 Cent's Top 5 biggest mistakes over the past seven days, shake our heads at Wyclef Jean in an oily speedo, lick our lips at Pinky wanting to shake it fast for Mystikal and oh SOHH much more!

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

1. All Bad Things Gotta End Some Day

It's been over for 5-0 Cent in the worse way for quite some time. It's not a bad thing, just take a look at Michael Jordan. He reigned supreme, retired and then found his calling as an executive. Now the executive part isn't working out too well, but that's not important. 5-0's had a very impressive run in rap. Compared to most in the rap game, he maintained a strong buzz and kept his popular popping. But this week, more than ever, he showed you that things aren't going to get any prettier anytime soon. Here's 5-0's five biggest mistakes he managed to make within seven days.

1. Trying To Meet French Montana Face-To-Face

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"I herd there was a @frenchmontana listening party at Interscope so I'm here.," 50 tweeted Thursday (October 11).
"(Ghost town) now the meetings canceled cool I'll catch up with him tomorrow. SMSaudio"
"Im disappointed Man I want to hear the music ? SMSaudio" (50 Cent's Twitter)

^ First things first, you don't go around looking for French Montana. If Fif was really about that life, he wouldn't have gone on Twitter to "see" French. C'mon.

2. Admitting He Didn't Beat Up Diddy

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The G-Unit rapper proved to have had some regrets about not having a fight with P. Diddy after the 2012 BET Hip-Hop Awards after a fan tweeted him about their beef. "@50cent u shoulda knocked diddy out lmaoooo," tweeted a follower. The rapper retweeted, "I know RT @50cent u shoulda knocked diddy out lmaoooo." (Tale Tela)

^ No one could really take that rumor of 5-0/Diddy getting into a near-fight serious. But the fact that 5-0 acknowledged that nothing really went down kinda makes him look silly. Especially considering he turned around and beat up a nobody like Gunplay right afterward. SMH.

3. Claiming He's Leaving Twitter

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"? i get attacked all day on here SKRT @ExoticStellz: Why is @50cent so rude for? He's such a nice guy on TV lol but on twitter," 50 tweeted Monday.
"I'm leaving twitter soon you guys are going to have to find another way to get followers. SMSaudio" (50 Cent's Twitter)

^ What purpose did this serve? LOL. Especially when you're on there hard as ever now. SMH.

4. Blaming Interscope Records Again

"Yeah, Street King Immortal. The actual album, it was scheduled to release November 13th, but we had to move the date," Fif said in an interview from Paris, France. "For this album, it's already been a year late. It's usually two years in my cycle that I go because I release the record and then I spend a whole year after touring and then I go again. So on this actual cycle it was actually a lot longer because it's the final album requirement for Interscope and we went through an audit type of situation until we got it all cleared up and now everybody's ready to work, so it's ready to come out. I finished it. I'm comfortable with the actual record, I feel it's arguable as good if not better than what I did in the beginning with Get Rich and The Massacre. But you know, I've learned to adjust pretty well to people judging me as an artist and people look at the material and try to be critics more than fans. But I'm my biggest critic." (Money Bags Blake)

^ It's just my opinion, but it seems like Interscope can't wait for 5-0 to drop his final contractual album just to part ways. Blaming Interscope for holding the LP back, 5-0, really?

5. Dissing Fake Rappers

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"I manage my self now that Chris lighty has passed. I'm not going to rush my album out.now that I'm doing both job's," he tweeted.
"Hip hop has been damaged by fake fraudulent artist who just say anything.now it seems like authenticity means nothing. SMSaudio"
"The culture is so confused a gangsta is bobbing to a cop LMAO think about it,It's just the facts.SMSaudio"
"Don't ask for the old 50 a artist has to grow and do new things. If I just did that style of music the same a** holes would be saying,no good it's the same."
"I'm not impressed by some of the new artist it feels like nothings new stop following trends be your self. SMSaudio"
"Rappers write cars,money,big house,big shot talk. The truth is they ain't got it man for real."
"It's funny when a new artist try's to go at me. Fool you got one car and it ain't paid for yet. LMAO"
"They can't do MTV cribs cause they live in the f?ckingCAR LMAO my God #SMSaudio" (50 Cent's Twitter)

^ ZZzzzzzz. Somebody wake me up. Are you still talking mess over Twitter, 5-0? Stop worrying about others and make YOUR music.

2. Someone Please Call 911

I don't even know where to go with this. There's one thing most of us should all remember, it's that just because you turn 40, nah, 43, there is no need to show off your body by rubbing yourself in oil, getting out your motorcycle and your favorite speedo and then posing. I, well, um.....

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Wyclef Jean posted a disturbing, Speedo-clad picture of himself on Twitter for his 43rd birthday. The singer is half-naked, in a red and blue Speedo, sitting on an Italian motorcycle in front of his presumed home. Though it looks like it was raining before the picture was taken, it also appears as if the New Jerseyan, who tried to run for president of Haiti, lathered his body with baby oil for the picture. There's no denying that Wyclef Jean looks good for his age, but it's a little strange that he would celebrate his birthday with Twitter in this way. (International Business Times)

^ I just, kinda, well........d*mn. Speechless.

3. Moment of the Week: Pinky Accepts Mystikal's Request

I don't know why, but I can't get off this story that kinda flew under the radar by a lot of sites. The fascination over Pinky, don't act like you have no idea who Pinky is, accepting Mystikal's sex tape dream is beyond hilarious to me. LOL. I've seen so many doggies act like this is Michelle Obama agreeing to slob Mystikal's knob. C'mon, Doggy! Really? I think since we're so accustomed to nudity and women showing off their bodies not only in adult flicks but on cable, magazines and online that we've kinda meshed the two worlds together. Please don't get it twisted, there's a big difference between being an adult star and a girl that likes to screw around. Pinky is known for getting paid to do the most nasty things your money will buy. LOL. The fact that Mystikal wants to do the nasty with her does nothing but boost up her image.

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XXX star Pinky -- who Mystikal named as his top choice to pop his porn cherry -- tells TMZ, she's flattered the rapper picked her ... and will gladly film a sex tape with him for her website. But Pinky says she refuses to pay him -- because Mystikal is currently an "amateur" and Pinky doesn't pay amateurs ... "no matter how good he is in bed." As we first reported, Mystikal says he's taking one last stab at the music biz before he gives up and turns to porn ... seriously. As for his six-year prison stint for sexual battery, Pinky says it doesn't bother her one iota -- telling us, "I think he came out looking better than when he went in." (TMZ)

SMH. Truth be told, it's more of a shocker that out of all the dimes out there, Mystikal would want to smash Pinky instead of some of the other performers. Maybe he spent too much time behind bars and can only remember who was hot when he got locked up, but the assortment of women that have made a name for themselves since then? The list is endless. Spread your own opinion on this one, but I got thrown off by Pinky's "approval" of his request. LOL.

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Clanese Monae

I'm starting to wonder if I've lost interest in skinny women, y'all. What once was cute and sexy back in high school really holds no weight (no pun intended). Something about seeing cute girls with a mediocre chest and skinny legs doesn't do it for me anymore. I treat my life like an action flick, think "Expendables 2." Unless wifey or my Mrs. Butterworth is equipped with thick thighs, impressive twins and a lethal smile, I don't know what else to do with it. That happens to not be the case for Clanese Monae. She's stacked, strapped and ready to go. Clap one time for this beauty.

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Y'all know I have a pretty strict policy when it comes to videos. Nine times out of ten, you know there's always going to be some moving eye candy. But in the case of Clanese, y'all have to go to YouTube and peep her videos for yourself. They're too extreme for me to even provide y'all a link to! LOL. Now that's a first!

5. Rappers Say The Darndest Things

After a slow week of rappers not talking reckless, it's back to rappers doing what? Yup, you guessed it, talking that crazy stuff. Let's start off with Game going at Jay-Z. Your rap beefs are getting cornier now and un-funny, Game. Stop it. LOL. What about this guy D. Chamberz? Bragging about being a construction worker and then posting pictures up of Barclays Center? That's like a nanny bragging about smelling Jay-Z's drawers and then selling them on eBay. LOL. DJ Paul's not fooling anymore, especially me. Playing dumb, thinking that you can be in New York City with a taser? LOL! Protection? No one's thinking about robbing you, Paulie. He's got my vote, but what's President Obama doing addressing Nicki Minaj/Mariah Carey beefs? That's that stuff we don't like. You got an election to win, stop acting like this is a sure bet, Prez! And Cameron Diaz/Gwyneth Paltrow's attempt at rapping? LOL!!!!!!!

1. Game

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"I've seen the debate: words were fumbled, certain topics weren't covered correctly," he told CBS Local. "But he's Obama. He probably was listening to Jay-Z before he got up there and was a little bit in the zone and couldn't get it together. But I love Obama he got my vote still. ... Let me tell you something, Obama could have comeoout and said his A-B-Cs in the debate and he would have gotten my vote. I like Obama, he's cool he got swag and that's my president. Mitt Romney is a Republican. I'm not down with anything they stand for. Not to diss anybody else's beliefs and what their vote is but I like Obama. He can't do me no wrong."

2. D. Chamberz

"Those photos [of the Barclays Center] were me. That was me. That was me. Listen. SOHH, you're actually getting the first live situation. I'm telling you, right now, before Barclays stepped in the building and handed it over to the city, 'cause you know we were union workers, before we stepped over to the stadium, I had took at least a million pictures and I got photos from when it was like nothing in there, when it was the hockey floor that was under there. People didn't even see the different things that are under that basketball court. You understand? I took those pictures of the building because I knew it was going to be a part of history and then the other thing that I actually did was sent them to [radio personality] Angela Yee. She was actually the first one to tweet it and then I seen Channel 12 and I seen the Daily News and then I seen it just go crazy."

3. DJ Paul

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Three 6 Mafia member DJ Paul tells TMZ ... he shouldn't be considered a criminal for carrying a taser around NYC ... claiming he simply didn't know it was illegal. As we previously reported, the rapper was arrested late last night when cops approached him about carrying an open can of beer in public (a Corona) ... when they learned he was packin' a taser. "I honestly didn't know it was illegal," Paul tells us ... adding, "I thought it was at the same level as pepper spray."

4. President Barack Obama

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President Barack Obama has a message for Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey -- GIVE PEACE A CHANCE!!!!! The war at the "American Idol" judges' table was escalated all the way to the Commander In Chief this weekend when POTUS appeared on Michael Yo's radio show. "I think that they are going to be able to sort it out," Obama said ... "I am confident." Obama continued, "I'm all about bringing people together, working for the same cause. I think both outstanding artists are going to be able to make sure that they're moving forward and not going backwards." And when asked who's his favorite, Obama actually picked a side -- replying, "Mariah. She's actually done some events for us. I've gotten to know her and Nick [Cannon]. She's a wonderful lady." He added ... "Nicki, I don't know, but I've got her on my iPod."

5. Cameron Diaz & Gwyneth Paltrow

And it looks as though it's paying off as she's learned how to spit a few bars. This week, in celebration of Chelsea Handler's move to a new studio, Gwyneth and her bestie Cameron Diaz sent in a funny video where they beat boxed while rapping about Chelsea's personal life. After being introduced as MC Gwyneth Paltrow and DJ Jazzy Cameron Diaz, the girls rapped lines like: "Yo Chelsea We heard that you got a brand new studio, but we know you got on TV by being a ho/You like black guys, white guys, whomevers around, your bedroom looks like a lost and found/We kinda like you 'cause you're blonde like us, but we can't hang with you in public 'cause you drink too much./We hope this rap is enough, and by the way, 50 Cent says you like it rough"

***Some tough pills to swallow after seeing my Yankees completely fall apart in the American League Championship Series. SMH. But we live another day and it's all about those NEW YORK KNICKS and NEW YORK JETS! That's the campaign now. So save all the trash talk until the NBA tip-off and when we play those pitiful New England Patriots. LOL. I'll catch y'all on Tuesday! Have a good weekend! --BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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