Pulse Report: Drake Smashes Every Celebrity Girl In The World, Kanye West & Kim Kardashian Hear Wedding Bells, Azealia Banks Keeps Winning

Friday, May 11, 2012 3:15PM

Written by Bulldog Butters

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we tally up just how many women Drake has racked up in recent memory, prepare for an overly unexpected expected Kanye West/Kim Kardashian wedding, applaud Azealia Banks for keeping the Internet boiling and oh SOHH much more!

[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]

1. We Like Girls

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's the rumors and gossip. In all actuality, 99.8 percent of entertainment websites strive and literally profit off that stuff. Just look at Media Take Out and Bossip, I bet they're getting more daily visitors than an educational site like National Geographic or even your local newpapers' online sites. That's not necessarily a fact, but nonetheless, it's the truth. And who's fault is it, ours? Yours? Theirs? It's sad that I know on Tuesdays I can expect #T*ttyTuesday Twitter photos getting posted but have no idea when Election Day is. LOL. Just kidding, not really.................. I say all of that to say this. Just HOW many women is Drake sexing up these days? SMH. There's got to be a limit to how much smashing he's literally doing. I mean, no wonder "innocent" women are scared to mess with him, he STAYS making headlines over dating gossip. The most recent lady? The one and only Rita Ora. Say what you want, but this dime piece is dumb silly cute.

Rapper Drake sparked romance rumours with music sensation Rita Ora when he hired her as his support act for the UK tour. The two have already worked together on several tracks, but it seems their professional relationship has blossomed into a romance - they were seen kissing backstage at a gig here Monday, reports thesun.co.uk. "Ora and Drake have been good friends for a while now but things seemed more serious this week. They were all over each other backstage at the gig on Monday and weren`t trying to hide it," a source said. Drake had previously dated Rihanna, while Ora was linked to Rob Kardashian. (Zee News)

^ However, it didn't take too long before she kidna, sorta, not really set the record straight:

Jay Z's protege Rita Ora says she's not dating Drake, they're just good friends. She did, however, fall in love with a track he wrote, "R.I.P." It's Ora's debut single in the U.K., where it's No. 1 on iTunes. The Kosovo-born singer had a party in London on Tuesday to celebrate. Ora says she loved the track the moment she heard it, but she's only pals with Drake. Ora says: "We're really good friends actually ... He has my back so it's really nice to know I have a guy that's a good friend like that." The 21-year-old is signed to Jay Z's Roc Nation and is now on the radar of the paparazzi, who hung around outside the party. Ora says, "I'm like, oh my God, they care!" (14 News)

^ Really? I mean, if I could JUST be friends with Kapri Styles or Jada Fire, I'd take that in a heartbeat. Even "Jerry" and "Elaine" were friends, FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS! Even friends exchange bodily fluids on a rainy day and from what I hear, it rains a LOT in the United Kingdom. LOL. But even if Drake were only one-nightin' Rita, the next couple of ladies he got attached to? Ridiculous!

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The rapper is sparking rumors he's romancing Tyra Banks after they were spotted enjoying a date at Disneyland. The hip-hop star, real name Aubrey Graham, has fuelled fresh speculation about his love life after he was photographed enjoying a day out with the America's Next Top Model host at the California theme park. In pictures obtained by fan site DizzyDrake.com, the pair was also snapped laughing together while grabbing sweet treats at Yogurtland. Drake has previously been linked to Rihanna, Nicki Minaj and British music sensation Rita Ora, while Banks recently ended her relationship with businessman John Utendahl. (Fox 23 News)

^ COME ON, TYRA BANKS? I would be screaming right about now if I didn't know she messed with Chris Webber back in the day. Tyra Banks though? Y'all don't want to know how many times I locked myself in the room when that red/pink Sports Illustrated issue dropped a few years back. LOL. I have to give the gossip blogs props though, not only did they make that accusation, they had PROOF that they had at least hung out at Disneyland. C'MON doggy, he rocked a fake mustache too! Nothing says SMASHING like going out in disguise. LOL. As ill as the Tyra rumor is, I nearly lost my mind when I found out that Drake's allegedly getting some, getting some with "Parks & Recreation" hottie Rashida Jones. NO, NO, NO.

The "Parks and Recreation" star was linked to the rapper in the latest edition of In Touch magazine, while editors also suggested the "Best I Ever Had" hitmaker was seeing Tyra Banks. (ABC 4 News)
In Touch thinks he's also seeing Banks, noting that the pair was "just spotted having frozen yogurt" at Disneyland. Whoa -- then they must be serious. NOT. Gossip Cop already pointed out that Drake and Banks ran into each other at Disney by accident, and that they hardly know one another. And as for the rapper's status with Jones? A rep for the actress tells us, "This is totally false, they are just friends." (Gossip Cop)

^ SMH. If there's one thing I've learned after being in the "industry" for a few years, it's that you don't ever, ever, ever take statements seriously. At the end of the day, statements are just used to save face. I'm not saying Drake is a "boyfriend" to any of these ladies, but what I AM saying is that he's smashed them all. Now do I have any proof to back that up? Nope. But y'all know it's the truth. LOL.

2. It's Our Anniversary

When will the madness stop? I'm going to be completely honest with y'all (like I don't always), Kanye West has lost my respect on so many levels (you'll see in "Doggiest Say The Darndest Things," too). I used to really appreciate doggy's style back in 2003-2004 and while his fashion senses have not won me over in recent years, his music has. I have based a lot of my opinions on what he says on records but this whole fiasco as of late? Dumb, dumb, dumb. If it was something along the lines of Kanye pulling a Drake (i.e. smashing/one night standin') on Kim Kardashian, that's one thing, but this whole silly public thing they've got going on? Letting her push the $500,000 whip? C'mon Ye. #WhereTheyDoThatAt? SMH. But now this whole wedding rumor that's going on? SMH, I can't even take this in, doggies. PAUSE.

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Kanye West is prepping some new material: his vows. One month after the Grammy winner professed his love for gal pal Kim Kardashian, 31, on his single "Way Too Cold" (formerly "Theraflu"), he's singing about her again, a source tells Us Weekly. On an upcoming track by hip-hop artist Pusha T, West, 34, raps, "I saw you in the club in a white dress/Now I want to put you in a white dress." The lyrics are hardly hot air, says a second source: "Kim and Kanye are 100 percent having conversations about marriage." Kardashian and the rapper first stepped out as a couple in NYC in March, but an insider close to the duo assures Us their romance was years in the making.West pursued Kardashian "for a long time" the source explained. Echoed another source, "They've been friends for years. Kim is ready to give it a try now." (Us Magazine)

^ Take it for what it's worth doggies. I'm speechless. LOL. Keep in mind though, this "IS" coming from Us Magazine, what many would consider the mainstream version of Media Take Out. LOL.

3. Doggy of the Week: Azealia Banks

No matter how much I try to ignore her music, doggies stay pumping some Azealia Banks. LOL. I can't say it's her looks or even those catchy hooks, but it's something more when it comes to Banks. I think the thing that stands out the most in terms of Azealia having the current buzz she has and making it into the prestigious "Doggy of the Week" section is the simple fact that she keeps popping off at the mouth over something. LOL. Call me crazy, but she may be the black version of what Kreayshawn was almost a year ago. All that hype and buzz really coming together. Isn't that "212" just as catchy as "Gucci, Gucci?" LOL. But all of that to the side, doggies, there are a few key things that went down this week to give Azealia "Doggy" status. For starters, she's got B.o.B. talking about the beef that's going on with her and Iggy Azalea. Even better, she's got such a demeanor that B.o.B. couldn't even really pick a side! LOL. That's wild. Then.....ah, you know what doggies, let's just jump right into it!

1. I Got Doggies Watching You, Watching Me

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"I'm definitely always gonna ride for my team, always. There's no doubt in mind, but as an individual you have to understand what is your business and what isn't your business," he explained. "Now, if something spills over into my court, then I have to handle my business. But as of yet I really don't attract that type of energy to myself." (MTV)

^ Maybe it's just me, doggies, but don't y'all think B.o.B. got shook over this question? For a doggy that had no problem going at Tyler, the Creator last year, funny to see him quiet up over this "beef" stuff. Either there's a collaboration he wants with Banks or else he's shook of what her team is about at the end of the day. One way or another, Banks wins big props from this.

2. I Can Make Doggies Sweat It Out

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"Omg still can't believe I'm doing summer jam. That sh*t is so honorary #NEWYOOOOOORRRRRRRKK," she tweeted.
"I grew up on @Hot97" (Azealia Banks' Twitter)

^ Yes, doggies, I did go ham on that Summer Jam line-up last week, but the bottom line is Summer Jam is a huge accomplishment for ANY doggy when you consider the doggies that have graced that same stage. Just think about the Knicks, once a dominate force in the NBA, merely a joke until recent years. The fact Banks is going to rock Summer Jam is huge for her.

3. You Mad, Doggy?

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"My client and azealia have NEVER spoke to one another or met AT ALL. Kim was actually very flattered azealia's public admiration for her, which is why it's so hard to understand how someone who claims to be a true Lil Kim fan could flip the script so easily on someone who was supposedly their idol. It is also VERY interesting that NO ONE from her team made any attempts to reach out to anyone from our team to voice any concerns or problems that they may have had. I have NEVER heard of anyone having a conflict with someone they have NEVER met with or personally spoke with. We have no idea what they are referencing and have no desire to discuss the matter any further as there is nothing to talk about. It honestly seems that someone from azealia's team would rather have her fans buy into manufactured drama instead of buying music." [sic] (All Hip Hop)

^ LOL!!!!!!! The fact Lil Kim's team went to this extent to address accusations made by Azealia? LOL. Can any doggy say, WINNING!!?!?!?!!?!?!? LOL!!!!!!!!! Too funny, doggies.

4. You Still Mad, Doggy?

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"@LilKim all the time it took u to get ur team to issue a press release bout this YOU COULDA WROTE THE VERSE!!!"
"@LilKim you DO know that YOUR management where the ones who said u needed us to write a reference verse in the first place .. Right?"
"Another week, another twitter feud. I'm deleting it now." (Azealia Banks' Twitter)

^ Come on, doggies, you gotta love that swag Azealia has. The fact she's gone on Twitter tirades at your favorite doggies with the upmost confidence? LOL!!! I thought it would have ended with T.I. but she clearly is not afraid to voice out those slanderous remarks. LOL. Big props to Azealia for keeping things gully on the regular. Quite frankly, she dismantled Lil Kim and that press release. LOL!!!!

5. You Had Me, You Lost Me, Now You Want A Doggy Back

Jim Jones & Dame Dashazealia-banks-2012-03-10-300x300.jpg

AZEALIA BANKS SHOWED UP FOR her big break a few years early. It's 2008, and the Harlem-born rap rookie is dilly-dallying on the music video set for Juelz Santana's 'hood carol "Jingle Bellz," red peacoat beaming, knapsack bulging, lip gloss poppin'. She thumbs her Blackberry while awaiting an impromptu audition for her around-the-way heroes, only to be brushed off before uttering a single syllable. "I was prepared to spit for Dame Dash, but he kind of just went 'Nah!' and walked away. Womp," recalls the now-20-year-old cocoa-toned rascal, choking with laughter. "Juelz looked at me like, 'Whose little sister is here? Please get her the f*ck out.'" (VIBE)

^ LOL!!!!! Who knows if there is any truth behind this but after thinking about Jeremy Lin getting tossed around the NBA before finally exploding in that New York Knicks uniform, you've got to think she could be keeping it real. I really do feel for Dipset if that's the case b/c they never really got a female chick to pop over there. Sure, there were plenty of attempts, but to the extent that they reached an elite female emcee level? Or even Remy Ma status? Nahhhhhh. Not at all.

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Kristal Solis

Stop all the yapping, doggies. Yes, I do realize that in this crazy world of ours there's an endless amount of Mrs. Butterworth candidates, however, there are few that get special treatment from Bulldog Butters and one of them happens to be Kristal Solis. There's just something about that booty, I mean, "beauty" that makes a doggy go crazy. Crazy enough that he'd featured her twice in this section. Y'all have heard this all before, so let's just get my point proven right here.

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Kristal SolisKristal Solis

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^ And if that wasn't enough, here are the videos that have made her a certified star:

^ Bada bing, bada boom, doggies.

5. Doggies Say The Darndest Things

Doggies, doggies, doggies, it's clear that I'm going to need your full attention this week. The level of silly-ness that exists in this week's "Doggies Say The Darndest Things" is at an all-time high. What you're going to see doggies say is so bad that you're going to have no choice but to let out a few chuckles. LOL. For starters, Suge Knight coming out of nowhere with this Boiler Room-type setting that included Death Row Records members calling each other out over drinks? LOL!!! The fact Tupac stood up and said all this stuff to Dr. Dre? LOL. Please, doggy, really save it for your biography. Then it's Beyonce. Sorry Jay-Z, but you have a nutty wife claiming she wants MORE kids. UH-HUH. Something tells me that "Most Beautiful Woman" title would get a bit tarnished after popping out a few more babies. Just saying. THEN, it's Charli Baltimore. I'm not even mad that she played off the G-Unit beef but the fact that she said she was IN Black Wall Street? LOL!!!!! #WhereTheyDoThatAt!? LOL! I guess she spent a couple months at Roc Nation and then had a cup of coffee on Cash Money, too, right? LOL!? Then it's Amber Rose. Amber, I swear you're beautiful but acting like you don't know who Kanye West is anymore? LOL. Speaking of Kanye, DOGGY HAD THE NERVE TO GO OFF ON NEW YORKERS' STYLE WHEN HE ROCKS LEATHER PANTS ON THE REGULAR!? LOL. Sorry, doggies, but as y'all can see, it's about to get crazy in here!

1. Suge Knight

"Ninety-five percent of them is closet cases," Knight told radio host Howard Stern when asked about homosexual rappers. "I wouldn't say ninety-five percent because I don't know all of them, I know the ones that was on my label [Death Row] was like that -- recently, [Dr.] Dre went to my P.O. and tried to get me violated, he snitched on me. I haven't even seen the guy since I've been home. I'm on parole -- anyway, he went to my P.O. ... He basically put a restraining order on me. Only people I know put a restraining order on somebody, unless it's a battered woman, wife, baby mama, I don't know a so-called gangster rapper going to put a restraining order against another man. I'm saying he's gay because there's a guy named Bruce and they've been together for years. We had meetings in the red room and once we had these meetings, you had to put everything on the table. Everybody had some drinks and wasn't nobody lying. Anybody got caught lying, it was always a consequence. So Tupac stood up and said, 'I'm tired of this, I'm tired of this. Dre, you's a f*ggot.' Dre said, 'First of all, I'm not a f*ggot.' He said, 'OK, then you're a homosexual.' He said, 'I'm not a homosexual.' .... Dre, you's a f*ggot."

2. Beyonce

The 30-year-old singer was beaming as she spoke of her four-month-old daughter Blue Ivy Carter, who was back home with husband Jay-Z and mother Tina Knowles. "I have such a full life," she gushed. "I feel like now I know the reason that I was born." She wants to add more members to her family, but it probably won't happen anytime soon. "Of course. "I definitely want to have more," she said. "I don't know how many. God knows; I don't know yet." If you're wondering how she got back in shape so quickly, it's no fluke. "I've been working really hard," said B, who's been spending time with a trainer. "There are no secrets--discipline."

3. Charli Baltimore

"I don't even know him, I just kind of got pushed into it by default," Baltimore said, referring to 5-0 Cent. "I never met him one time in my life -- I was with my clique, so it was what it was. It wasn't anything personally going on, so I get it. [You heard my diss?] I don't know which one, it was a few. You know, I was with Black Wall Street for a while. [laughs] That sh*t is so old. Yeah, so old."

4. Amber Rose

"What did I think about the song," Amber asked hersef, "Umm, I don't know. I don't really know Kanye as a person anymore. I just don't know him, um, anymore. It's been almost two years so at first I didn't understand, I was like, 'What is he trying to say,' but I think, I took it as a positive at the end and um, I feel like it's cool. He respects Wiz as he should and I respect his decisions. I think people fail to realize that Kanye's just my ex-boyfriend. We weren't married, we don't have children together, we both moved on with our lives and you know, it seems like we're both really happy."

5. Kanye West

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"Just driving through the city and I see a few thing I hate...," he tweeted May 5th after a Twitter hiatus dating back to mid-April.
"I hate button up shirts with hoodies"
"I hate hoodies with sport coats"
"I hate sport coats with button up shirts, jeans and dress shoes"
"I hate khaki trench coats with jeans and off brand work out sneakers"
"I hate khaki cargo shorts"
"I Hate big a** striped scarves"
"I hate long a** sideburns with the line up RnB beard"
"...all this in 5 blocks"
"Detest"
"#I'm on my snob"

***Aight doggies, last weekend was purely based on ALL OF Y'ALL going out and supporting The Avengers. Simply said, that movie was crack. If you didn't get down with Avengers, then you just don't get down with superhero flicks. But all of that stuff to the side, the most important thing y'all take care of this weekend is looking after your mothers. No excuses, show mom you love her by taking her out to breakfast/lunch/dinner, frame a photo of you and her and wrap it up (doggies, it's very cheap and the meaning is crazy powerful), go take her to The Avengers...OR a movie SHE might want to watch, lol, or just spend some quality time with her. No excuses, all the good that's happened in your lives is all thanks to her birthing you. Now all the bad, that's daddy's fault. LOL. Just kidding. Until I see y'all crazy doggies on Tuesday, enjoy the weekend! --BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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