SOHH Whatcha Think: [VIDEO] J. Lo Nip Slip + 2013 Black History Month Freshman Nominees
Sunday, Feb 26, 2012 9:26PM
Cotdayum. It's still Black History Month? All bullsh*t aside, you can't tell me February 2012 wasn't sponsored by Wes Craven: The sh*t has been one horror story after the next; we rolled into the month still dealing with the death of Don Cornelius all the way up to the Jim Jones just a few days ago. In between time, Whitney died, Teairra Mari bought a Young Money scratch-off and won a record deal and MLK, Medgar Evars and George Washington Carver were punished with yet another series of badly written plays at elementary schools across the country.
Black History Month needs a makeover. In the tradition of the XXL Freshman list, I present the 2013 Black History Month Freshman class. These nominees have kept it trill, are getting money and it is my hope to see them honored around this time next year.
Usher said f*ck makin' music. My knees goin' out and my kids need new Foamposites. We finna fnd some white folks that can sing a lil' bit and ride 'round and get it. Usher has Beiber aka Shawty Mane and Akon has Lady Gaga: Two black entertainers that both took young white boys and turned them into superstars. You read that right.
Anybody that's anybody knows that it takes more than one chain to make it in America. Like legendary MC Slick Rick, ATL recording artist 2 Chainz has taught us all that with great jewelry comes great responsibility. Now a solo act on Def Jam, his fans eagerly await his upcoming album. I believe that Mr. Chainz will rise to the occasion and not only deliver a solid project but raise little Mercedes to be a fine black queen.
The game needs DMX for the same reason jumpoffs need Maury: To provide answers. We live in an era where big artists are too afraid of burning bridges so they bite their tongue when hit the with hard questions. If they cause you to stop being real, f*ck bridges -- except Jeff Bridges because he was a boss in True Grit and is just an overall real n*gga. And so is DMX. And if you don't believe me, ask The Breakfast Club. Thus far, my favorite interview of 2012.
THE CROWN ROYAL BAG
A cultural icon in its own right, this unsung hero of the black community has served as a coin purse, condom satchel and weed travel case for the past several decades. Only the hoodest of certified hood n*ggas have used this item to dispose of dead mice, but even they must stand and salute this mighty accessory for its continued dedication toward black excellence.
No, I'm totally bullsh*ttin' right here. In fact, I want to take a moment to honor all that was inappropriate about that suit. A suit of that cut and color volume should only be worn by pimps or supervillians. Bury that suit, but first, put it inside of a better suit so it may die with dignity.
Chris Brown is living proof that you can literally dance your way out of any problem. Admit it: When those pics of Rihanna's face hit the web, you thought Breezy was finished. But in less that 4 years, Brown has dougied his way back into the good graces of fans worldwide, doing strong numbers in record stores, scoring a Grammy and gettin' a lil' piece of RiRi's birthday cake. Well done, young blood.
Oh yeah. The Oscars were on last night. The Oscars are a night where Hollywood honors the best movies most people have never seen. Rise of the Planet of the Apes wasn't up for Best Picture or Best Uprising, so I skipped it. But I'm hearing J. Lo's nipple made a cameo? Check the vid below. I didn't see it, but maybe you can.
[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]