Pulse Report: WWE Puts The Rap Game In A Chokehold, Young Money Takes Big Losses, Chris Brown Turns The Heat Up

Friday, Feb 24, 2012 12:15PM

Written by Bulldog Butters

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we take a look at how wrestling has injected itself into the rap game, tally up how many losses Young Money has taken in the past seven days, give Chris Brown a standing ovation for keeping us all locked in and oh SOHH much more!

1. If You Smell What The Doggy's Coookin'

Could it be, doggies? Is wrestling making a comeback in the rap community? I thought it was wild when Rick Ross was spotted at TNA recently and then you consider 5-0 Cent name-dropping Shawn "Heartbreak Kid" Michaels in his music, but what we've seen in the past week is enough to make any doggy wipe off those dusty VHS tapes and enjoy some USA Network airings of Monday Night Raw. Thinking back to my younger days, I was always contemplating which doggy I messed with more; Stone Cold Steve Austin or The Rock. But leave it to a doggy like Method Man to have this question be a no-brainer. LOL.

"I got so many, man. I can tell you where I get my showmanship from, what expires my showmanship on stage. Ralph Tresvant from New Edition. Great showman. Busta Rhymes. The Rock, from WWE. The way he used to cut promos--dude was like the truth when he cut promos, man," Method Man said in an interview. "Nobody can take that away from him. A lot of my stuff I get from WWE--a lot of my inspiration. Even though people know all the moves aren't real and sh*t, it's the way they sell them that makes it official. That's how I feel about my sh*t; if I can sell it, then no matter what I say, it's going to sound hot." (Global Grind)

^ Don't let me get that "It Doesn't Matter" YouTube link out, doggies! LOL!!!! Rock was always the coolest, especially during those "Corporate Champ" days when no doggy was messing with him. The Rock did to professional wrestling what Tiger Woods did to golfing. That's an undisputed fact. But whether y'all agree or not is not important. What "is" important is the fact that WWE wrestlers, ten years later, are still trying to do whatever it takes to get some attention, even going at the hottest doggy in the game.

"I never intended to include Chris Brown's name in one of my tweets to start some sort of a controversy or gain publicity," Punk said. "Now that he's thrown accusions my way about using steroids, I feel the need to reply. ... I don't hit women, period -- In my world, women are to be revered and respected and I firmly believe that in this life, there are consequences and repercussions for people's actions and I don't think Chris has paid for what he's done. ... So Chris wants to throw stones my way now, and I say that's fine, but put some gloves on and get in the ring. I will choke you out and I will make you feel as weak and as powerless and scared and alone as any woman who has had the misfortune of knowing a sad, cowardly little boy such as yourself." (TwitVid)

^ LOL!!!! I can't lie, doggies, this is going into Chris Brown's "Doggy of the Week" section. C'mon, this doggy took the time to make a seriously-fake-serious-bad video clip challenging him to a fight? I mean, you'd take this serious until he said "...I will make you feel as weak and as powerless and scared and alone as any woman who has had the misfortune of knowing a sad, cowardly little boy such as yourself." LOL!!!!!!! *DEAD* Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, NY Giants' Brandon Jacobs gets sonned in the worst way courtesy of TNA. What's doggy trying to do, win a belt now? LOL!!!!!

Forget the Kanye shrug. Can we all start doing the Brandon Jacobs "I don't want any problems" gesture? In his TNA Wrestling debut, the New York Giants running back went from knocking back a beer with James Storm to snapping and getting held back by three people after Bully Ray spit some brew in Jacobs' face in only a couple minutes. Sidebar: D'Lo Brown (in the white polo) deserves an Oscar nomination or something for that overdramatic performance. (Complex)

^ THAT. IS. FUNNY. Look at doggy's facial expression. I hope he ends up coming to the New York Jets. Sure, y'all might say I'm stretching this by having Jacobs featured in the "WWE" meets rap game section, but it is what it is....and that IS funny! LOL!!!

2. Lost Ones

It was a tough week for any doggy associated with Young Money. There's no other way to put it. We'll start from the top of the food chain with Lil Wayne. I mean, granted, doggy did just go two times platinum with his Carter IV album but facts are facts. You can't hate on the New York Knicks' Jeremy Lin! Doggy is getting ready to get LeBron James Nike paper! STOP IT! LOL. Then it's off to Drake. There's getting dissed by Common and then there's getting dissed by DMX! LOL. Trust me doggies, X might be off in the head but he is serious when it comes to clowning on a doggy. LOL! Y'all remember that scene from Belly in the basement! And then, probably worst than both of those cases has to be Nicki Minaj. Getting called a sell out? SMH. That hurts. Doggies lit her up hard body in the blogosphere. And then my doggy Tyga got the ultimate slap in the face. Now you see my album? Now you don't! Doggies, bow your heads to Young Money, at least things can only get better from here on out.

1. Lil Wayne's Hate-o-Rade

lil-wayne-2012-01-13-300x300.jpgjeremy-lin-2012-02-16-300x300.jpg

"Jeremy Lin has been added to Rising Stars Challenge game for All-Star Weekend after recent Lin craze," Weezy said, reading from a report. "Now, everyone got the Lin fever and everybody doing the Lin -- I don't, I'm trying to figure out what I call him. Well, he beat my Lakers. So ever since that game, I hate him. So I call him Lin Laden. Yeah, that's what I call him. Lin Laden. Trend that. That's what y'all need to start calling him. Lin Laden. But for tonight, Lin Laden was defeated by the Hornets. So seems like Lin couldn't beat New Or-Lins. Ha! Score for me." (Weezy's Sports Center)

2. Drake Gets Bit, Nah, Shredded By The Dog

Drake (Fan)dmx-2012-01-06-300x300.jpg

"No, no," X said when asked if he likes Drake. "I don't like anything about Drake. I don't like his f*cking voice. I don't like what he talks about, I don't like his face, I don't like the way he walks, I don't like nothing. I don't like his haircut. I might just -- let me shut up. Stop right there." ("The Breakfast Club")

3. Nicki Minaj Went From Ashy To Classy To MC Hammer Status

Nicki MinajNikki Minaj

Alright, you scum, you daily trolls that roam about the Internet highway looking to rag on anyone that disses your precious Nicki Minaj, you fervent devotees that refuse to believe that the mental case MTV product sold out: we've got pure video truth here, and you can't argue a word against the fact that she gave up everything she was for fame. Five years prior to her glamorous sell out for fantastical fame and female rapper claims, Nicki actually was rapping, and doing it well as you'll see in the unearthed music video below where she does some acapella work and bars over "Dirty Money." There's no Frankensteinian cosmetic work, no vainglorious garb, and no bullsh*t--it's straight Nicki, looking more like Jean Grae than a plastic cartoon of a failed hair metal frontman, and actually doing something to justify her female emcee claims. Here's the video, the truth that Nicki sold out. Hope you enjoy yourselves. (Ology)

4. Catch Tyga If You Can

Tyga & Lil WayneTyga-album-cover-2012-02-21-300x300.jpg.jpg

XXLMag.com learned that Best Buy and Target, two of the nation's largest retailers, pulled Careless World after originally stocking it in their stores on Tuesday (Feb. 21), the LP's release date. "We did carry the album, but we pulled it due to the content had not been cleared by the Martin Luther King estate," Carolyn Aberman, Best Buy's Public Relations Senior Manager, told XXLMag.com. Aberman is referring to an uncleared sample from Martin Luther King's famous, "I Have A Dream" speech that plays at the end of the title track, "Careless World." Tyga fans also tweeted in fury about not being able to purchase the album at Target. One fan even posted a picture of Target's Tyga disclaimer on their timeline. The Target sign reads, "Due to a manufacturer product recall, the Tyga: Careless World CD that is featured in this week's ad will not be available. We apologize for any inconvenience. Rain checks are not available." (XXL Mag)

^ Tough week, doggies. Even on the hottest team, doggies takes losses. Word to Miami.

3. Doggy of the Week: Chris Brown

Doggies, doggies, doggies. Has any doggy realized the more you hate on a doggy, the more exposure you give them? If you don't believe that, just look at the Lil Kim "F*CK NICKI MINAJ" campaign dating back two years or even looking at Jaz-O going at Jay-Z. Sure, that might have been on a lower scale, but facts are facts, doggy hating is really doggy promoting. This week, Chris Brown got the most exposure I've seen him have since, coincidentally, 2009 when that whole fight took place. So many doggies went at his neck that you would have thought he had a new album out. LOL. Rather than break down each case right here, let's just jump right into the fiasco. LOL! Oh yeah, in case y'all didn't realize it, Chris Brown IS that "Doggy of the Week" without a doubt! LOL!

1. Just Keep This On The Hush, Doggies

Chris BrownRihanna

Chris Brown was so paranoid about keeping his attendance at Rihanna's birthday party a big fat secret -- he actually tried to FORCE partygoers to sign confidentiality agreements ... TMZ has learned. Sources tell us, Chris refused to enter the private party Monday night at the famous Hearst Mansion in Beverly Hills until everyone signed an NDA -- sending his henchmen in beforehand to gather every partygoer's signature. We're told although they didn't get EVERYONE to sign -- Chris eventually walked in ... and spent a huge chunk of the night nuzzling up against Rihanna. According to sources, the two got real intimate -- sitting next to each other, talking, and holding hands ... all perfectly legal ever since the restraining order was lifted. Chris' rep tells TMZ, confidentiality agreements were distributed only to workers at the party and anyone who was caught videotaping/snapping a pic of CB. (TMZ)

^ LOL! I can't lie, it's always hard to take TMZ serious. To their credit, they've been right on a grip of stuff in recent years, especially when you try to put them side-by-side to a Media Take Out. LOL. But come on, Chris Brown is so exclusive that he can get doggies to sign Shhhhhhh papers? LOL!!!!!!!

2. Keep My Name In Your Mouth, Doggy

"Using my name to get publicity? I love it! Perform your heart out!," he tweeted February 18th.
"Go buy @miranda_lambert album! So motivational and "PERFECT"!"
"Goodnight to all the people who live life and who aren't stuck in the past! TEAM BREEZY is my family! Positivity and blessings!" (Chris Brown's Twitter)

^ SMH. Miranda Lambert, you have to fall back on this situation. I know it's kind of hard for y'all doggies to get the gist of this because y'all can't see what she said, but to sum it all up, she basically said doggies who hurt women are no good and should get shot. Yeah, OK, we get it, but what you're saying would be more meaningful in 2009, 2010, and well, maybe in 2011 but in 2012? Come on doggies. I don't hear you saying anything about that girl Kobe Bryant was accused of raping in Colorado. Please don't make me find a photo of you wearing a Kobe Bryant jersey, Miranda. LOL. Big ups for Chris for keeping his head up on this too.

3. She Wants That Ol' Dog Back

Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together, musically speaking. Two songs featuring the singers hit the Internet on Monday. Brown sings on the remix of Rihanna's sexually charged song "Birthday Cake," and she's on the remix of his upbeat tune "Turn Up the Music." Brown tweeted a link to the new version of "Turn Up the Music" on Monday, and Rihanna later retweeted it. She also tweeted about the remix for "Birthday Cake." (Washington Post)

Chris Brown actually got Rihanna to do MULTIPLE records with him. SMH. In the words of Charlie Sheen? LINNING. WINNING.

4. I Wanna Pump & Dump You Up, Doggy!!!

"I never intended to include Chris Brown's name in one of my tweets to start some sort of a controversy or gain publicity," Punk said. "Now that he's thrown accusions my way about using steroids, I feel the need to reply. ... I don't hit women, period -- In my world, women are to be revered and respected and I firmly believe that in this life, there are consequences and repercussions for people's actions and I don't think Chris has paid for what he's done. ... So Chris wants to throw stones my way now, and I say that's fine, but put some gloves on and get in the ring. I will choke you out and I will make you feel as weak and as powerless and scared and alone as any woman who has had the misfortune of knowing a sad, cowardly little boy such as yourself." (TwitVid)

^ ??? LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO COMMENT NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. It Was All A Dream, Doggy

Chris Brown & RihannaThe Dream & Christina Milian

"For me, it's just music -- two talented people doing a record together, doing two records together, and that's what it was," The-Dream said in an interview. "It wasn't about an incident that happened. The true thing really is to forgive, and -- you want to believe in people. ... I think [the topic] that should be more on the tongues is: how do we proclaim to be a nation of forgiving, and we go by all of these rules and everything, but we can't actually do it? ... It actually makes you look weaker than your adversary -- if you don't have the power to forgive, but you lie and say that you did. Because this is about her. If she can forgive, that's where she is mentally. As a friend, it's like, 'Okay, cool. Let's roll.'" (Billboard)

^ Come on doggies, even The-Dream is co-signing their hook-up. I don't think there's a single doggy that can hate on that. Believe it or not, Chris Brown has the final piece in making sure his career doesn't fade to black. Let's be honest, it was one thing for doggies to SLOWLY come forward and vouch support for him after that 2009 situation, but on the real, Rihanna could have made things very ugly. I'm talking about tell-all book, diss records, and other really bad stuff, but she fell back. OK, maybe an interview here and there, but nothing as bad as it could have been. Taking that into consideration, Brown is good.

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Jessica Burciaga

Can I keep things 100 percent gully with y'all doggies. I used to have the biggest crush on Jessica Alba. I'm talking about the type of crush where you're tempted to spend that suspecious $9.99 fee to join a website that claims it has the personal mailing address to all the celebrities in Hollywood, y'all know what I'm saying? Well, this borderline stalker-like crush came to an abrupt stop when I found out that my endless nights of watching her shower scene in "Machete" was fake. Well, fake in the sense that she actually wore a top and underwear and thanks to the beauty of Hollywood, was able to get the clothes digitally removed. SMH. Since then, I've swayed away from any woman with the name "Jessica." Jessica Simpson, Jessica Rabbit, you name her, I'd pass. That's all until I came across Jessica Burciaga. It took a woman of this magnitude to finally kick Alba and my "Jessica" stigma to the curb. But what am I telling y'all for, peep my savior below, doggies:

Jessica BurciagaJessica Burciaga

Jessica BurciagaJessica Burciaga

Jessica BurciagaJessica Burciaga

^ SMH. And if that wasn't enough.......

5. "STFU" Honors

Can y'all doggies believe the NBA is allowing there to be an All-Star break? I mean, c'mon doggies, word? LOL. My personal issues with the NBA to the side, this past seven days stirred up some reckless doggies. Now as bonkers as this is going to sound, I have to stand up for Yung Berg. Teairra Mari, really? I understand you're tight and what not, but talking reckless about Yung Berg is pointless and just made you look suspect at best. SMH. Seems like Berg Doggy wasn't lying about what he was saying and saying you don't dig light-skinned doggies? WTF!? Then it's off to the West Coast with Kreayshawn sounding more and more shook. Saying you don't care if your album flops? Hmmm.....sounds like you might be a shook doggy, doggy. Now all y'all doggies know how I feel about this next matter and Timbaland doesn't get a pass. There will NEVER be another Notorious B.I.G. Sure, I've said Ross is the new Southern B.I.G., but after some time, I've come to realize NO DOGGY can be compared to the greatest doggy ever. B.I.G. was hot from the start. Period. Next up, Erick Sermon. I was cool with doggy's comments on gays/hip-hop until he loosely use the term "h*mo." Something about his tone rubbed me the wrong way, doggies. PAUSE. LOL. Last but not least? Lil Wayne coining the term "Lin Laden"? SMH. Doggies, if y'all didn't know it already, welcome to "STFU" Honors!!!

1. Teairra Mari

"You know what? I'll get his a** jumped again," Mari said in an interview when jokingly targeted as the person responsible for Yung Berg's past robberies. "I don't like Yung Berg. I'm sorry. [Why?] Because I did an interview with [New York radio station Power 105.1's] 'The Breakfast Club' and they told me, like, all this stuff Yung Berg was saying about me, like, putting my business out, saying -- who I dated and who I was in a serious relationship with and I just feel like he violated my privacy. And if he ever goes back to Detroit, they will jump him again. ... I've never even looked at him as an attractive person. I don't even like light skinned guys."

2. Kreayshawn

kreayshawn-purple-hair-2011-10-20-300x300.jpgVanilla Ice & Flava Flav

"I don't really like ever doing the same thing twice," Kreayshawn says. "Unless it was really good. Like if you eat somewhere really good, maybe you'll go eat there twice. If the album doesn't have a hit I don't care. I'm mobbin.' I'm mobbin' real hard. If something goes wrong, I'll just take all my money and sell hella drugs. Then make a song about that. Then I'll have another hit. I'm just playing. Kinda."

3. Timbaland

"Let me show y'all how to take it to the next level. The best with the best," Tim said in the video. "He's the newest, reincarnated B.I.G. and that's coming from the heart -- a n*gga who worked with B.I.G. I'm telling you like it is. I know rap stars and he's one of the biggest rap stars who ever done it. I'm happy to be a part of it."

4. Erick Sermon

erick-sermon-2011-11-14-300x300.jpglil-b-im-gay-2011-06-16-300x300.jpg

"No. It's the same about when you talk about sports players, too. We don't know if that's going to ever happen because that's like a curse to be in sports and to be gay and be in hip-hop and be gay. You can't be on a basketball team, a football team and be homo and be rapping like, 'Yo, yo.' N*ggas will kill you."

5. Lil Wayne

WEEZYS SPORTS CORNER NBA 2/18/12 from DERICK G on Vimeo.

"Jeremy Lin has been added to Rising Stars Challenge game for All-Star Weekend after recent Lin craze," Weezy said, reading from a report. "Now, everyone got the Lin fever and everybody doing the Lin -- I don't, I'm trying to figure out what I call him. Well, he beat my Lakers. So ever since that game, I hate him. So I call him Lin Laden. Yeah, that's what I call him. Lin Laden. Trend that. That's what y'all need to start calling him. Lin Laden. But for tonight, Lin Laden was defeated by the Hornets. So seems like Lin couldn't beat New Or-Lins. Ha! Score for me."

***All-Star Weekend, doggies! There's nothing more to say. Personally though, I wish the league would let Jeremy Lin rest those legs so he can finish off the second half strong. Don't know about y'all's teams, but them New York Yankees are going ALL THE WAY! Yeah, I said it! LOL. Seriously though, doggies, it's All-Star Weekend time so kick back, relax and order some pizzas. It's party time! Catch y'all on Tuesday! --BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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