SOHH Whatcha Think: 'Back To The Future' Hoverboard Coming + Too Short Teaches Little Boys How To Turn Girls Out?!?

Tuesday, Feb 14, 2012 8:30AM

Written by Jeezis Peace aka Sweet Baby Ray

First off, Happy Valentine's Day to the sexy ladies out there: If you're lucky like my woman, you'll be coming home to a Redbox Bluray, plate of neckbones and a small bottle of barbecue sauce waiting on the nightstand. Fellas, If you've never covered your woman in BBQ sauce all I'm gonna tell you is this: YOLO.

Now that's my advice for the fellas. Recently Too Short passed on some grandfatherly wisdom to a much younger demographic and his words were not met kindly.

"When you get to late middle school, early high school and you start feeling a certain way about the girls... I'm gonna tell you a couple tricks. This is what you do, man. A lot of the boys are going to be running around trying to get kisses from the girls, we're going way past that. I'm taking you to the hole. There's a general area down there, a little spot that girls have that feels really good to them. Don't kiss them down there yet, that's later in life. But this is what you do. You push her up against the wall or pull her up against you while you lean on the wall and you take your finger and put a little spit on it and you stick your finger in her underwear and you rub it on there and watch what happens. It's like magic. You gotta find her spot, they all have a different one, but it's somewhere in there. Just go for it. When you feel like it becomes a little more moist that's when you know you're doing it right."(Madam Noire)

Short, you my dude, but you need to blow the whistle on your d*mn self for that one. Can't believe you'd say some sh*t like that, matter fact, we gotta balance out some the sh*t Too Short said with "Sh*t Adele Says." Enjoy.


The video version of Short's advice, originally posted on XXL, was taken down following a wave of backlash. Vanessa Satten, the mag's Editor-in-Chief, recently released a statement in which she expressed disappointment in the video ever being made.

"I agree with their perspective," says Vanessa Satten, XXL Editor-in-Chief. "I do not see all content before it goes live. When I saw this video, I was truly offended and thought it crossed the line. I had it taken down immediately. I am disappointed that an employee decided to post it and I am putting internal procedures in place to make sure content like this does not go on the site. The video goes against my value system and represents poor judgment on behalf of the individual who posted it." (XXL)

Too Short also issued an apology through the XXL Web site.

"I want to apologize to anyone I may have offended with the XXL video interview I recently did. When I got on camera I was in Too $hort mode and had a lapse of judgment. I would never advise a child or young man to do these things, it's not how I get down. Although I have made my career on dirty raps, I have worked over the years to somewhat balance the content of my music with giving back to the community. Just coming from a man who wants to see young people get ahead in life, I'm gonna do my best to to help and not hurt. If you're a young man or a kid who looks up to me, don't get caught up in the pimp, player, gangster hip-hop personas. Just be yourself."(XXL)

SOHH Watcha Think: Was Short outta line for teaching middle school kids how to get it in [no pedo]?

In other news ... THE FUTURE IS NOW!! The Marty McFly's became a real sneaker and now toy company Mattel says they are working on bringing another classic Back to the Future item to life: The Hoverboard. For those of you that've never seen BTTF, I hope you kept the reciept for your childhood, cuz you were jipped. For those of us that have seen it, would you cop the real life hoverboard?

The hoverboard, to be made by toy giant Mattel, does not actually hover but comes close to it with multiple whooshing sounds, MattyCollector.com reported. It also said the closest the hoverboard will get to hovering is gliding over most surfaces.(GMA Network)

Oh wait, d*mn. So it doesn't even hover. Very disappointing. We put a man on the moon several decades ago and we still haven't perfected hover technology?

Before you roll out, peep this new joint by Nicki Minaj and tell us what you think. Sounds like some Jersey Shore: The Movie end credits type sh*t to me.

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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