SOHH Whatcha Think: Kim Kardashian's Booty Back On The Black Market: 3 Ideas For Her Next Hustle [Click Here & Speak]
Tuesday, Nov 1, 2011 5:05AM
Black men rejoice: Not only is the McRib back in the hood, one of the finest, whitest booties in faux-Hollywood is once again free to do as it pleases, as news of Kim Kardashian's divorce hit the Web early Monday.
Well d*mn. 72 days -- I've had jumpoffs that've lasted longer than their nuptials. Shame on her soon-to-be ex husband anyway ... an a** like that ain't meant to be locked down, bruh. You gotta share that girl. So now that the marriage has fizzled and Kim is once again free to drop sextapes like mixtapes, we'd like to be her agent for a little bit and advise her on what career move she should consider next:
A Sextape Reboot
Sometimes, a remake is a good thing. For example, Footloose remake? F*ck no. Gremlins remake? Yes please. In the case of Kim's recorded romp with R&B singer and Money Team Capo Ray J that sh*t gets two thumbs way down. I've seen episodes of The Cosby Show more arousing than the Kim/Ray J sextape, I mean seriously. Thing is, the tape had potential, but the story was weak, the actors lacked passion and oh yeah, there was no 3D. N*ggas want 3D in 2011. With a little guidance, I can see Kim K. dropping the Illmatic of sextapes. Call it Watch the Dome, matter fact, let's go ahead and give Ms. Hilton a reboot as well with a couple of dudes and call that N*ggas in Paris.
Whole up. Whoa dere. I ain't talkin' about the weird dudes that cut holes in their mommas linen and ride around Alabama lookin' for trouble. KKK is an all girl rap group I wanna see happen with Kim Kardashian, Lil Kim and Kraeyshawn. Why? Because between these three, it's hard to tell whose the craziest. I say let 'em battle it out on wax.
Help the Dallas Cowboys Win
As it stands, the Dallas Cowboys' record sits at 3-4 -0. That's 3 wins, 4 losses. That's also the area code for the U.S. Virgin Islands. Beautiful place to visit, not so beautiful numbers for a football team. We all know that the Kardiashan's make winner's of men. If Kim could find it in her heart to give one of their players, any one, a piece of that pumpkin pie, I'm sure they could turn this season around. Just sayin'.
We asked for reparations, and received the Kardashian sisters. I say, thank you America. Now that that a** is back on the black market, we wanna know -- what should Kim K do with her life next?
While you ponder that, peep this new track by Drake f/ Lil Wayne:
[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]