Pulse Report: Afeni Shakur Says 2Pac Won't Be Gettin' Some Head, Top 10 Steve Jobs Raps, Diddy Turns Into Puff Doggy
Friday, Oct 7, 2011 12:15PM
In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we find out why 2Pac's mom isn't trying to get some xxx-tra money off a sex tape, pay homage to the late Steve Jobs with the Top 10 best raps centered on him, pour out a little something for Diddy aka Puff "Doggy of the the Week" and oh SOHH much more!
[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]
1. I Was Gettin' Some Head
SMH. Doggies, why are y'all acting all funny all of a sudden? LOL. Soon as I heard that there was some new unreleased 2Pac footage out, I thought, "What's new?" But then come to find out Pac had a sex tape stashed away? For starters, how does some doggy "all-of-a-suddenly" come across this? That just doesn't make too much sense to me. But getting back to what I was saying, doggies, why do I gotta be looked at as the pervert doggy who is obscene enough to say that he wants to see some oral sex done on Pac? LOL? Let's keep it 100, too, doggies, the way it was described? How could y'all NOT want to see it? Matter of fact, let's start from square one:
A five-minute sex tape showing Tupac receiving oral sex while rapping and dancing has surfaced ... and TMZ has seen it. The tape, shot in 1991, begins with a bunch of groupies in a living room during a house party. Tupac walks into the room with his pants down to his ankles, his shirt off ... sporting several chains. Tupac -- whose head is shaved -- pulls one of the women toward him, and she begins performing oral sex. As she does her thing, an unreleased song of Tupac's is playing in the background, as Tupac is singing along and dancing, wiggling his hips. (TMZ)
As the woman services Tupac, who's holding a cocktail in one hand and a blunt in another, Money B from Digital Underground walks over to him. Tupac puts his cocktail arm around his boy Money B, continues singing and dancing ... and the woman never stops doing her thing down there. As the tape ends it appears "he's ready to begin sexual intercourse" (use your imagination there) with the lucky lady. But we do not get to see that. (The Hollywood Gossip)
^ LOL!!!!! Hold on, doggies, are y'all kidding me? How is there not one doggy on the phone talking to Digital Underground's Money B? LOL! That's my first question. Not one blog has this doggy confirming/denying this? Sounds shady if y'all ask me. Now when this started to bubble around, doggies were getting all tight saying, "Yo Butters! RIP Pac, how could you say you wanna see that?" Uhhhh, yeah? LOL. Look at it, Pac getting some you-know-what and rapping and moving around dancing? LOL!!!!!!! Well, didn't take long before a bidding war started up.
Two porn companies "are serious about acquiring the rights" to the recently unearthed Tupac sex tape, with the first bid -- from a site called YouPorn -- coming in at $150,000. According to TMZ, the person in possession of the footage is willing to hold out for more cash because they think the offer is "way too low." You can't blame them -- if Vivid Entertainment wasn't willing to sell the rights to the sex tape of a no-talent famewhore skank like Kim Kardashian for $20 million, then a legend like Tupac Shakur has to be worth way more than $150,000. (Celebs Gather)
^ LOL!!!! And the nerve that some doggies try to say that hip-hop is dead. LOL. When you got a bidding war over some rapper's sex tape that's 20 years old, it's evident that rap is popping. Funny thing is that even with this 'bidding' war, I didn't take the story serious. I mean, how many times have we heard about a Jennifer Lopez, Nicki Minaj and Chelsea Handler sex tape, right? Well, I guess those TMZ doggies must have read my mind and showed the proof is in the pudding.
Rumors of a Tupac Shakur sex tape from 1991 hit the streets earlier this week, which had people shaking their heads since the rapper had been dead for 15 years. For the nonbelievers, TMZhas shown the photo proof of the Tupac sex tape! In the stills from the sex tape, you can clearly make out Tupac while he is having some fun with a female friend. Will you watch the Tupac sex tape if it comes out? (Global Grind)
^ I couldn't get the doggies over at SOHH to post the photos, but y'all be sure to check for them. It may be the closest you get to seeing an X-rated Pac, even though it's kinda blurry. LOL. But what took me by shock, doggies, is how long it took for Pac's family to speak out against the footage. I mean, after this made news they should have been issuing statements left and right, right? LOL.
A spokesperson for Pac's estate has confirmed that the family is ready to take legal action against anyone who sells the 5-minute video of the rapper receiving oral sex. "We will sue anyone who tries to sell a Tupac tape," said the rep. Pac's mother Afeni Shakur purportedly called a team of lawyers into action, warning them that, "we will no allow someone to put it [the sex tape] out." The rep revealed that a private investigation is underway to identify the person in possession of the tape. The family currently suspects it maybe one of the many male companions in the video or the female who serviced the rapper. (BET)
^ LOL. Y'all be the judge. Bottom line is once something goes out to the public, it'll be a long time before it can fully vanish. Bloggers get off to that stuff. So RIP Pac but we're gonna see what you probably wanted us all to see a long time ago, anyway. LOL.
2. And The Beat Goes On...
Doggies, even if y'all never co-signed a single Apple product in your life you were in some way, shape or form affected by Steve Jobs. More specifically, Jobs' advancements in technology only made competition stiffer from non-Apple products. iPad? Nah, Notebook. LOL. But since this is a rap site, I figured what better place than to give one of the illest lyrics decoding sites I know some shine, RapGenius. P.S. One of SOHH's owners is a HUGE fan of Rap Genius and frequently visits/contributes. It's a hot site, doggies. Anyway, in honor of Jobs, they made a list of Top 10 raps he inspired. Kick back and enjoy the flows, doggies. RIP to Jobs.
10. Young Jeezy -- "Standing Ovation"
"Once upon a time, I used to grind all night/With that residue that was iPod white."
9. Pharoahe Monch -- "We Go Off"
"Pharoahe the god strike the mic hard like Ty Cobb with a bat/Physicist the antithesis of Steve Jobs when he raps, mack/Sick gonorrhea clap! Onomatopoeia, smack the shit out you, you have no idea"
8. Mickey Rocks -- "We Beamin' (All City Chess Club Remix)
"And the kids connected up, and they clicked snap/Hollerin', "Yeah, we weighed on the iPhone scale app!"
7. Grind Time Battle: Illmaculate Vs. Conceited
"Once I let all the guns and the clips blow/For the first time y'all gone see a Mac running through Windows."
6. Gucci Mane -- "LOL Smiley Faces"
Pics on my iPhone/Gucci on her iPod/When she turn around/A** make me say oh god"
5. Tyga -- "Really Raw"
"KFC by the bucket, thats really raw/AK's you can't tuck it, thats really raw/Watching porno's on the iPad, thats really raw/Lamborghini's with the wide baggage, really raw."
4. Rick Ross -- "9 Piece"
"I'm smoking dope, I'm on my cell phone/I'm selling dope, straight off the iPhone"
3. Lil B -- "Violate That B*tch"
Give that b*tch a iPad d*ck/I'm a lesbian man I only f*ck b*tches"
2. Charles Hamilton -- "Windows Media Player"
"You ain't catch when I said put my Mac down?/Like I got a girl's top on my lap now/That was mad hot, and mad foul/Now that I said it all here think back now/Mac lip gloss, Mac laptop/Girl's top on my lap, that's mad hot"
1. Big Pun -- "Brave In The Heart"
"Taking New York cats past the stars/First it was Nasty Nas/Now watch me turn an Apple into Macintosh"
***Butters Bites: Doggies, those were aight but RG should have included Jay-Z's "Prelude" where he name drops Jobs, Diggy Simmons' "They Shootin'" remix where he says rhymes in his "MacBook" and that Nicki Minaj song "I Go Crazy" or maybe it was "Donk" where she talks about raps in her "MacBook" too. SMH. But those all are still hot anyway.***
3. Doggy of the Week: Diddy
Can y'all believe Puff Daddy is still doing it big in 2011? I mean, doggies, he was in his prime 15 years ago and has stayed there ever since. SMH. Y'all can clown him all you want but doggies still think he's hotter than Wiz Khalifa and J. Cole put together. Something about him is always fresh, you know what I mean, doggies? Oh yeah, being THAT doggy on Forbes every year helps too. LOL. But this week in particular was exceptionally crazy for Puffy. For starters, doggy got aired out by the one and only Uncle Luke which is a joke by itself. LOL. Then you have Puffy yelling at doggies in a club but later apologizing? LOL!!! If that's not enough, Diddy gets props from an ex-employee (for once!) and oh yeah, he gets named for the death of 2Pac. SMH. Doggies, bow down and bring back those shiny suits, Diddy is the Doggy of the Week!
"I've got a message for Lil Wayne, his Cash Money Brothers, DJ Khaled, Puff Daddy and all the rappers from other parts of the country who now live in Miami," he wrote October 4th. "I'm tired of seeing these cats using up our beaches, soaking up our sunshine, taking over the nightclubs, and sleeping with our women without investing anything into the community. I want to know when Lil Wayne is going to do more than show up courtside at the American Airlines Arena. H*ll, it's not like he paid for them anyway. You know he got comped. This free loading and mooching of my city has got to stop. There used to be a day when out of town rappers were scared to throw their weight around Miami. It didn't matter if they were coming from New York or Los Angeles, they knew better than to act like they owned this mother f*cker." (Miami New Times)
^ How this doesn't make "STFU" Honors is beyond me doggies! LOL! Wait a second, who does Uncle Luke think he is? Just because he's trying to air doggies out on a blog as a certified blogger...well, ummm....LOL. Anyway. Diddy and those doggies spending money out in Miami has got to have made the city even more popular than ever. Think about it doggies. If you have a wack magazine but can get Diddy to be featured on the cover, do you realize how many copies it'll sell? LOL. So Luke has no real argument here. OK, so Diddy comes and parties out there. Doesn't that just help popularize the city even more? Please! You lost this argument, Lukey.
Last night, it was about to go down at the BET After Party at Compound Nightclub hosted by Diddy and T.I. At some point in the night, Diddy grew upset because some patrons were holding up Grey Goose instead of Ciroc and went into a verbal tirade on the mic while throwing a drink across the room. 'Put that sh** down. It's Ciroc Boys in The building. What you gonna do? This is my house', he can be heard saying on a video of the incident that's circulating. Meanwhile, although it looks like Kenny Burns was on the receiving end of the tirade, I am told he was actually trying to calm Diddy down. (Necole Bitchie)
^ LOL!!! Doggies, all Diddy said was "put that sh*t down" and every doggy and their mother is catching feelings. LOL. I'll give T.I. props for sonning Diddy in the club but this got blown out of proportion beyond recognition. LOL. Why does every doggy think Diddy has to clean up his speech as he gets older? Doggy is the same doggy who said anything other than Ciroc was pee pee. Doggies, we're talking about a doggy that goes by the nickname PUFFY! LOL! Stop it.
"I'm a child God and I should be better no matter what somone says to me. I'm sorry for the ignorant way I repesented myself and us.," he tweeted October 4th.
"To all my childen of God ... I have backslid and regressed. Forgive me for my ignorance. Pray for me pls. I know better and I am better."
"I have a responibility that I promise I will live up to. And I'm more dissapointed in myself than you know. I will humble myself and learn."
"bottom line is I'm sorry to all! Pls find it in your heart to accept my apology. I will do better and be Greater And a source of positivity!" (Diddy's Twitter)
^ SMH. Really, doggies? Y'all really made Puff fall to the pressure, huh? LOL. Come on, that's just bad on so many levels. A grown man sending out an apology letter with Twitter? SMH. No COMMENT.
"I learned a lot from being in that situation," Notar told SOHH. "Not [from Diddy] necessarily but the people I was around, I learned a whole lot from. The thing about that is that man is surrounded by a team of people that work around the clock, consistently, to make his brand and his empire stand strong. Diddy gave me a shot and I took it. I never took it for granted and I never told anybody that I was a musician. I kind of wanted to just really lay back in the cut and learn. Learn and really work hard. No sleep is definitely a motto over there. I'm very grateful for the time that I had over there. I learned a lot, I really did." (SOHH)
^ FINALLY! Not sure about y'all but every doggy that leaves from Bad Boy stays bad mouthing what Diddy did for them. Just look at Ma$e, The LOX, Black Rob, etc. The list goes on, some even went the Mark Curry route and released books calling doggy the devil. LOL. Right, Shyne? But to see a doggy like this doggy named Notar talk about getting a shot to work with Diddy is something special. This may be the first time I've ever heard good things about what Puff did for someone wihtout that backlash.
Greg Kading also claims in "Murder Rap" that Combs' west coast rival, Marion "Suge" Knight, ordered New York rapper The Notorious B.I.G. killed in retaliation. No one has been charged in either rapper's murder. Kading claims the LAPD has recorded confessions from people behind the killings. In one of the audio recordings, a Southside Crips member named Duane "Keffe D" Davis says, "[Combs] took me downstairs and he's like, 'Man, I want to get rid of them dudes.'" (My Fox)
^ SMH. That's a shame, doggies. Really? I know it's all about making a couple bucks but pointing fingers at Diddy and Suge Knight? That just ain't right. The funny thing about this is that finding out every doggy that was involved in Pac/B.I.G.'s murders seems so complicated that there is no way it could be "Diddy did and then Suge did." That just seems....too easy?
4. Mrs. Butterworth: Ashley Logan
Doggies, it's come to the point where my selection in who makes this sultry spot each week is getting questioned. Even though we've had a Baskin Robins selection of Mrs. Butterworth's in here from Marin Marie Foster who's mixed with Black, Creole, German, Indian, Austrian and Croatian to Spanish mamis like Jeny Romero to China from King of Diamonds. The list goes on. So while a doggy may want a Foxy Brown-looking Mrs. Butterworth one day and a Rosa Acosta-looking Mrs. Butterworth the next day, I've decided to flip the script on every doggy this week. They used to say "White Men Can't Jump," but let's see if "White Women Got Dunks" courtesy of Ashley Logan. White girl status this week, doggies! Get over it! LOL!
^ SMH. Now how many of y'all saw that coming, huh? Keep your comments to yourself unless it's a suggestion to who y'all want to see posted up in here. In the meantime, while y'all contemplate choices, get lost in Logan's juicyness right here. LOL.
^ SMH. That should be illegal doggies. Ashley Logan, are you really white? LOL!!!!
5. "STFU" Honors
SMH. Doggies, now I've read some funny stuff in my day but this week the ladies had it on lock. I mean, doggies are always reckless at saying off-the-wall sillyness but when it comes from the lips of a Mrs. Butterworth-like candidate? SMH. For starters, Kreayshawn continuing to answer questions about Rick Ross deserves the "STFU" treatment by itself but then her saying that her "star power" is what ignited the Rick Ross beef? LOL!!!!! Yeah........the "Gucci Gucci" chick, right? LOL!!!! Next up is Natalie Nunn for contradicting herself in the worse way. Saying that Fabolous kept dissing her and she did not give him a response? WTF?!?!? LOL! Even worse is Amber Rose believing that Kanye West is not responsible for making her famous! LOL!!!!!!! This chick may be cutting her hair too low. I think she may be affecting her brain. SMH. But even worse than those three chicks is Tila Tequila saying Myspace would still be popping TODAY if they had hired her. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In hopes of getting a male voice in there, Cam'ron came through by saying Jay-Z is intimidated by doggies who are hotter than him. Pardon me, doggies that have more "swag" than him. SMH. If y'all didn't know already, be aware, you've now entered "SHUT THE F*CK UP" Honors!
"I definitely learned a good lesson on, you know, 'cause what I said about him wasn't like, I don't have any problem with him, you know what I'm saying," Kreay said in an interview. "I've listened to his music. He's Rick Ross, he's a boss. You know what I'm saying? I never had a problem with him, it's just me goofing off with my friends and taking it too far. And if I was nobody, it wouldn't have even mattered but now that I have the star power -- it's a big deal. It's definitely taught me to watch what I'm saying at certain times. Especially saying stuff that you don't really mean, joking off with your friends. Every day is a learning process and everything happens really fast. So it's definitely quick learning."
"It's really funny, because I feel like the beef between me and Fabolous just keeps going back and forth. Sometimes it's directly, sometimes it's indirectly. Fabolous just put out a video last week. And the music video had my ex-best friend that I grew up with since we were in diapers -- he put her as the only girl in his video. So he tries to do little things to get my attention. And I don't care what he says, I don't care what people want to believe and disbelieve, but the girl in his video is half Asian, half black, he didn't even know her, and she's never done a music video in her life -- so he went out of his way to put her in his music video."
"Kanye was engaged to a girl, he was with a girl for six years," Rose said in an interview. "She went to Fashion Week with him, was photographed everywhere with him, pretty much the same kind of relationship we had, but she didn't become famous. No one cared about her. When people say Kanye made me famous, I don't feel that way. People had an interest in me, and that's not my fault. What do you want me to do?"
"I think if MySpace would have been smart, they would have hired me as a consultant then their site would have never died down," Tila told SOHH. "I know exactly what I'm doing when it comes to those types of things; networking and what the fans and people want. If they would have hired me, MySpace would have still been the biggest site today and dominating over Facebook, over everybody. But hey, too bad. They didn't want to get me involved so too bad."
"I think he's a good, great businessman," Cam said referring to Jay. "But he's a competitor. He doesn't like people just as good or who may be better on the same level as him. Not dissing him but [Memphis] Bleek and [Beanie Sigel] is like coming underneath him. I always want Jim [Jones] or Juelz [Santana] to be equal or above me because I'd rather kick back and chill out. But people [like us] coming to that label with the same amount of talent and the same amount of, well, no, pardon me, way more swag. You know what I'm saying? He couldn't handle it."
***Aight doggies, a week has come and gone and a lot has popped off. First off, y'all can pop off. My Yankees got eliminated from the play-offs and now my Jets are looking up at them Patriots. SMH. We got it though, watch this weekend! Pats are going DOWN! Anyway though. LOL. 2Pac back, for real. Then you got the Kreayshawn/Rick Ross beef still existing. LOL. Even crazier is J. Cole's new album selling over 200,000 copies. That's crazy, doggies! Big ups to doggy. And is it just me or did Snoop Dogg nearly miss Doggy of the Week? I saw him every day in a new story. LOL. That's cray. Aight doggies, I'll catch y'all next week. Peace! --BB***