Pulse Report: Diddy & Malice Bring Pain To The Name, Kim Kardashian Finally Scores, Rick Ross' MMG Empire Takes Over

Friday, May 27, 2011 12:40PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, Diddy and Malice get tired of the ordinary, Kim Kardashian crosses over and scores with a big time baller, Rick Ross' Maybach Music Group takes over and oh SOHH much more!

1. What Happened To That Boy?

One thing I learned about music is names hold weight, doggies. Think about it. How long has Joe Budden been called Joe Buddens? Or what about Jay-Z getting that Gay-Z title? Even worse than those two examples? Tity Boi. LMFAO!!! Seriously though, if you decide to run with a rap moniker, stick with it. The problem is you get these doggies like Mase who get so f*cked up about life that they start changing things up like, "Pastor Mase" or Reverend Run. SMH. Not trying to bring the whole religious sh*t into this argument doggies, but unless you're Malcolm X, that sh*t is not flying through 'round here. First doggie to get called out? You got it. Puffles. LOL.

"Check it out, so I decided I'm going to change my name for a week in honor of my comeback," Diddy revealed in a video. "Y'all know I've been known as Puff, Puffy, Puff Daddy, Diddy, P. Diddy, King Combs, earlier it was Sean Combs, and for a week, this week only, call me by my new name, 'Swag.' Check it out. My new name is Swag." (P Twitty TV)

^ LMFAO!!!!! SWAG!?!?!?!!? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! D*mn, I mean, really, d*mn. How played out is that sh*t? He might as well have called himself dope or fresh. LOL. No shots to 2DopeBoyz either. LOL. I mean, really? Granted, we're talking about Diddy but with all the sh*t he pops off about being an innovator and making doggies follow "HIS" trend, why go this route? I mean, he could have bit Ricky Rozay and said, "Call me Flossy Bossy" or something else, but "Swag?" SMFH. I guess all is not bad since there's at least one doggy that's f*cking with the new name:

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Diddy is ready for another name change. Yesterday (May 19) the hip-hop mogul took to YouTube to announce his new moniker, "Swag." XXLMag.com reached out to Lil B, the man arguably responsible for the term's newfound popularity to find out his reaction to the news. "It's all good," the Based God said. "Diddy is my family and we finna get in the studio! I'mma have the first feature from Swag." (XXL Mag)

SMFH. OK, Based God. But at least Diddy said he would only be rocking the name for seven days. SMFH. LOL. One doggy I am a bit upset with though is Malice, you know, doggy from The Clipse? The doggy that actually rapped:

^ "That 4-5 will leave ya leanin' man, whoa/I'm the reason that your block is vacant, Malicious will hit ya, just to make a statement." D*MN!!! That was the hardest sh*t and still might be one of the best verses I've ever heard Malice spit. Now I know doggy has been enlightened and is about bettering himself these days, but WTF?

Malice of The Clipse: The Big Picture from Ruby Hornet on Vimeo.

"I'm not a malicious person, and I don't really like answering to that. I know that people that follow The Clipse or follow my music, they know Malice, so I understand that, I get that," Malice said in an interview. "But you don't want to be under any moniker that's of evil intent, that's not you. I come to more believe that there's so much power in the tongue. The power of the tongue is life and death, so I believe if you are what you fall under whether it's in your subconscious or not. It's just me trying to clean up a little bit. But I haven't thought of that name yet. So Malicious is what it is right now." (Ruby Hornet TV)

^ D*mn. I thought Malice would have outlasted Pusha T too. D*mn. What do y'all doggies think?

2. Baller Roll

Doggies, can I be the only doggy that's seeing a conspiracy going on in the Kardashian family? LOL. First Khloe Kardashian marrying Los Angeles Lakers' Lamar Odom and now Kim going down under with Kris Humphries from the New Jersey Nets? LOL. Anyone else smelling a TV show in the works? LOL. For all of the doggies not up to what's going down, peep the info:

It was a dream come true for Kim Kardashian when she walked into her Beverly Hills home May 18. Her boyfriend of six months,New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries, was waiting in her bedroom on bended knee with four words written in red rose petals: "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" "I didn't expect this at all," Kardashian, 30, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview (out Friday) of the romantic, surprise proposal. "I was in such shock. I never thought it would happen at home, and I never thought now." (PEOPLE)

^ SMFH. Well doggies, who the h*ll are we to say it won't work? Too bad she didn't settle down with a rapper b/c it would have been fun as h*ll to run those gossip reports in Pulse Report! LOL! In honor of that fatty settling down with a baller, let's take a look at some of the most funny a** headlines Kim got tied into over the past few years. LOL. D*mn, she might be married to a doggy in the sports world but she's urban as h*ll. Come back, KK!

Kim Only Dates Black Doggies

"I really think it's a stereotype. I've dated probably just the same amount of white guys...it's funny I can be with a white guy in the middle of the street making out with him and not one person will say anything or take a picture. I can be standing next to a black guy and all of a sudden, I'm dating him and I don't even know him." ("The Wendy Williams Show")

Kim Boning Kanye West & Having His Puppy

Kim Kardashian has opened up about her rumoured romance withKanye West - insisting she is just 'having a lot of fun'. The 30-year-old has recently been spotted out with US rapper West, 33, but while she remained coy about their romance, her sister Khloe, 26, had a lot to say about it. Speaking at the People's Choice Awards on Wednesday, Kim told US entertainment show Extra: "I think I've just been having a lot of fun." Khloe added: "That's because they're boning!" Kim replied: "That came out of Khloe's mouth, not mine!" (Music Rooms)
Hollyweird is at it again! This time the rumor is Kim Kardashian got pregnant by Kanye West! What's scarier? The thought of Kim Kardashian being pregnant or Kanye West becoming a both! Not to bash either star but the two of them coming together to produce a child would break the hearts of many fans and would be a huge year end shocker! Apparently Media Take Out started the rumor on Monday by stating: "Kim is being very secretive about everything. She calls [Kanye] almost non-stop and wants to know what she should do." (Celebs Gather)

Kim Gets Chewed Out By Ray J's Mom

"They were dating for five years, they were in love but I always said "What you don't want people to see, you don't do" regardless of how much you love someone..but [the sex tape] somehow surfaced. But my point is, with all the hoopla with it being Ray Jand people trying to blame him, did you see him on the cover of Playgirl? Did you see him in the centerfold of Playgirl? (Necole Bitchie)

Kim's Infamous Sex Tape

^ LOL. You doggies know where to find the real tape. LOL. In all seriousness though, congrats to this couple doggies! Still don't see it really working out but who knows, maybe it'll work.

3. Doggy of the Week: Rick Ross

Doggies, take off your d*mn caps and brush your shoulders off. The past seven days went to none other than those Maybach Music Group boys. LOL. Say whatever the h*ll you want about Rick Ross being a C.O. but one thing is certain; for the past week, they had sh*t on smash. I mean, Ross getting the cover to VIBE and Complex, full features from every doggy in MMG and just that mainstream look they have been receiving? Oh yeah, their Self Made album in stores already too? SMFH. Doggies, it's them MMG boys!

1. We Got Numbers, Doggies

maybach-music-2011-05-24-300x300.jpgrick-ross-selfmade-2011-05-24-300x300.jpg

Maybach/ Warner Bros.' Maybach Music Group Presents: Self Made, Vol. 1, the Rick Ross-founded label previously with Def Jam, will do in the 50-55k range. (HITS Daily Double)

^ Show respect doggies and don't get cocky. Yeah, 55K sounds kind of sh*tty, but when you think about them not getting that hardcore radio buzz, f*ck it. Get in where you fit in doggies and let's be honest, compilation albums aren't highly anticipated anyway. For them to get 50K-plus? D*mn. That's a good look for them. Once you get in the doggies ears, it's a wrap. Wale, Pill, Meek Mill are getting big a** looks right here. I think this sh*t is going to pan out, doggies.

2. Doggy Taught Me Well

Rick Ross

"I never knew how to get lost in music. I never knew how to just wake up, smoke a J, and play music all day. I do that now. When I recorded Attention Deficit, I treated the studio like it was a 9-5. I walked in there with my briefcase--which was my book bag--with my music, some energy drinks, and some weed. I come in at 11 and I clocked out at five no matter what I got done. Now, there's times where I left the studio at nine in the morning after I went in at six the night before."

^ Say what y'all want, doggies, but Wale giving Ross props is some ill sh*t. LOL. Y'all know doggies always give props to their bosses, but this sounds like the whole MMG chemistry is deeper than rap. LOL. Pun intended doggies. I really think this MMG sh*t is going to pan out and I mean, d*mn, if Wale's writing keeps getting better like it sounds it is, then there's no question, doggies.

3. I Got Ad-Libs, Doggy

^ LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. We Know Our Culture, Doggies

Rick RossUncle Luke

"Maybe 2 Live Crew. Have Britney Spears as one of my 'Me So Horny' girls," Ross explained when asked about what sketch group they would parody. "We'd have the shaved-head Britney. The party girl." (Complex)

^ LMFAO!!! Doggies, you know what's missing from rap these days? Some got d*mn humor. Y'all remember how it used to be with doggies like Redman, Method Man, Ludacris, Keith Murray. Seems like every doggy is too cool to pop sh*t off and make themselves sound funny as h*ll. That's one thing I like about MMG. These doggies can spit some hot sh*t but at the same time, kick back and bullsh*t about regular as sh*t. And calling his boys 2 Live Crew? LOL!!!! And B. Spears as a "Me So Horny" girl? LMFAO!!!!!!! *DEAD!!!*

5. A** Is A**, Doggies

maybach-music-2011-05-24-300x300.jpgCondoms

"I be sliding through the 'hood, I can't lie. I love extravagant exotic women, but I come from the 'hood at the same time. So if I'm in my Chevy riding through the 'hood and you see one of those ghetto girls in a hot pink shirt, you're just like 'Hey, put your number in this.' I'm still in touch with the 'hood like that," Ross told interviewer Angela Yee. "I still give back. I can't even front." (VIBE)
"When I was younger. Seeing them in the club the next time like, D*mn, if I could see me from last week I'd beat the sh*t out of me. I'd put a roofie in my own joint so I don't end up talking to this chick." (VIBE)
"Like 3:30 in the morning, not having a girl. It be like that sometimes," Meek Mill said. "I f*ck a lot of bad women, don't get it twisted. I got a thick one, a little husky... I got that one and she's always around. And people found out I hit it," Meek said. "She ain't fat. She's thick. She's like 25 percent over the line." (VIBE)
"On some real sh*t, I've had some that didn't look all that right. I play like I ain't know it that day in the club," Pill said. "I ain't gon' lie, one of my worse experiences was waking up in the morning years ago and I looked over to my left and said, "Aww, man, what the f*ck were you doing, dog?" Obviously, I was too f*cked up in the first place to have you in my bed and in my house if you're looking that bad. So I went to sleep and when I got up, I'm asking you, "What went down? Did I really just..." (VIBE)

^ LOL! Just like I said before, doggies. This is just some funny a** sh*t. Even though Angela Yee can probably make any doggy relax and pop off random sh*t, hearing these doggies talk about their most embarrassing a** that they've gotten makes them "real." It's not always fly a** R&B chicks and models. Don't let Lil Wayne get you f*cked up. Sometimes I doggy needs his bone and I f*cking relate to the sh*t these doggies admitted to. Give props to them MMG boys, doggies!

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Sophia Felix

Doggies, rarely do I get suggestions from SOHH when it comes to Mrs. Butterworth but this came to my inbox as a bit of a shocker. LOL. Turns out we have a special request for this week's Mrs. Butterworth (glad to see doggies are respecting the sweetest section of PR). From what I've been told, this is coming off the strength of a charity project so y'all know, whenever we can do something positive, Bulldog Butters is with it, especially when it involves some T&A action too! LOL. Doggies, I'm gonna play the background and let the powers that be introduce the luscious Sophia Felix and her crew of Mrs. Butterworth's:

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^ Araci & Sophia and Alicia

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^ D*mmmmmmn, Sophia!

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^ Unknown model chick and Simone

Sophia is featured in this video below, doggies:

...and the bottom line comes courtesy of Ms. Felix.

SOPHIA FELIX is a Model with big goals and an even bigger heart. She's CEO of her modeling agency "Honey Bellas" and has professional and up and coming models on her roster that look sweeter than honey. Honey Bellas work together as a team and realized they can use their skills to do something positive. "It's time for business minded ppl and the money makers in the industry to collaborate and give back to our communities! I modivate my girls to do charity work and in return I guide them in the right direction and get them paid modeling gigs. Doing charity work for kids that have nothing, especially during the holidays gives me a feeling of happiness that I can't explain." Sophia's organizing charity events and shooting her girls for several calendar projects. Honey Bellas will donate the proceeds to kids in need in their local communities and at the end of the year they plan on organizing holiday toy and food drives. Check out: www.facebook.com/honeybellas or for booking info email: [email protected]

...and then what, Ms. Felix?

Sophia's goal for this year is to help raise money for Baby Izaiah who was hit by a teen drunk driver and thrown from his stroller. He is now paralyzed from his chest down and partially blind. Please click on this link and read his story and spread the word. 100% of the proceeds go directly to Baby Izaiah!!! http://passion4kids.com/

5. "STFU" Honors

SMFH. Of course another week comes and we have five doggies that said the unthinkable. LOL. It's pretty simple doggies, "NO COMMENT" still works in 2011. We gotta start things right though with none other than Black Rob giving his two cents on ... SMFH ... G-Dep!? No disrespect doggies but why doesn't this doggy focus on his own career than try to make us believe Dep will ever touch a microphone again unless it's a Rikers Island Talent Show special. SMFH. Even still, has he even seen how Dep's condition has looked over the past few years? SMFH. The next doggy in line is Rick Ross. Even though doggy is running sh*t, his whole spin on "No homo" is silly at best. LOL. And WTF is up with DJ Drama giving his Top 5 Southern rappers and NOT including Andre 3000!?! That's inexcusable by all accounts. And even though Swizz Beatz is a monster, his characterization of Dr. Dre is f*cking ridiculous! LOL. Finally, what better way to round things out than with Nas who has nothing better to do than say, "Where's Bush!?" Here's one for ya doggy, "Where's YOUR Lost Tapes?!" LOL. If y'all didn't know it by now, then y'all are still tripping over Dooms Day not happening. LOL. Doggies, welcome back to "SHUT THE F*CK UP" Honors!

1. Black Rob

Black RobG. Dep

"People be counting him out but all jokes aside, if my man come it's a problem. A lot of dudes are in trouble," Rob said in an interview. "I can't visit him cause I have felonies. I mean G-Dep is a strong individual, the strongest individual I know. I respect the man. He calls me everyday and spits something for me. If he gets another chance, I know he's not going to f*ck it up. If he gets a second change -- they gonna let him go. They can't prove that. Back in the days, I think it was around 1999 or 2000 when my album came out, Busta Rhymes said to me, 'You have a horseshoe in your a**,' 'cause no matter what I did I always came back. I'm going to show them this time that I have a horseshoe again. Before you count a brother out, give him a fair chance. Especially if he has heart."

2. Rick Ross

Rick Ross (Concept)Rick Ross

"I've been on Twitter before, and somebody will say something to me with "no homo" at the end. And I'm like, Why the f*ck would you even need to say that? ... I don't use it. There's no reason. I mean you Tweet me, I hope you're no homo. They'll be like, 'Yo man, let me get your blunt, no homo.' That's why I don't smoke with nobody."

3. DJ Drama

DJ DramaAndre 3000

"I gotta put [Rick] Ross in there, I gotta put [Lil] Wayne in there," said Drama. "I still rep with the home team. My man [T.I.] about to come home and crush 'em. Shout to my man [Young] Jeezy, he's doing his thing. And I gotta put 2 Chainz in there. He's really smashing the A and on honorary mention, shout out to the homie Future, too."

4. Swizz Beatz

Swizz BeatzDr. Dre

"Dre has amazing songs and I think everything is worth the wait. He's a genius, he's a legend and it's just no getting around that...Everybody just gotta chill out and let that man do his thing. He's a master at what he does, hands down."

5. Nas

NasGeorge W. Bush

"Where is Bush? We should see more George Bush, right now. He should be talking more. He should be standing next to Barack more. He should just be talking to the American people that he was once "leading." I don't hear anything. It's like someone who got away with something and doesn't want to show his face anymore. Or is it just that it's just no joke being a President and he needs a long vacation right now? He's staying away from cameras. But the bin Laden situation... I kind of would like to hear what he'd [Bush] have to say about it."

***Doggies, it's been a h*ll of a week. Gossip and rumors are taking over this got d*mn rap game these days and between y'all and me, Amber Rose looks kinda f*cked up on the cover of the new VIBE magazine. She's good money at the end of the day, but something about her cover reminds me of that movie "Powder" from the 1990's. Do y'all's research, doggies! LOL. It's finally Memorial Day Weekend and I don't know about y'all but the weather looks hot so I'm gonna pull an all-dayer at the movie theater, skipping from screen to screen while enjoying the AC. LOL. Aight doggies, don't forget about that SOHH Cap Diss prize and I'll catch y'all on Tuesday! --BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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