Exclusive: 5 Characters Lloyd Banks Should Make Gangsta (That Aren't The Cookie Monster)
Friday, Apr 29, 2011 11:55PM
[In celebration of G-Unit lyrical monster Lloyd Banks' March 30th birthday, SOHH has compiled a list of five lovable characters we think the Punch Line King's remarkable voice would have the hunger for. Go Banks, it's your birthday!]
Who could ever forget South Park and Chef's chocolate salty balls? We'd love to see Banks impersonate this cartoon favorite. Different lover in practically every episode? Lloyd Banks would have no problem using his "Playboy" and "Blue Hefner" image to resurrect Chef's character.
"Went from taking 50's orders to listening to Cartman's b*tching/ I kill the flow like Kenny still I'm fixing salisbury steak in the kitchen..."
2. The Cowardly Lion
Ever heard Banks' "Hands Up"? This is a no-brainer! Not only would Lloyd Banks toughen up the bashful King, but we could only imagine the punchlines he would deliver to the Lollipop Guild.
"Put em up...... Put em up... put em up..... put em uuuuuuuuppppppppppp, b*tch!"
3. McGruff the Crime Dog
Who could forget the lovable, problem-solving McGruff the Crime Dog? Whenever there's trouble, McGruff is on the scene. Well, who better than Lloyd Banks representing the "Rotten Apple" to solve the latest chain snatching, club snuffing or illegal drug using incidents around town?
"If I had to be a snitching b*tch I guess I'd be McGruff/watching my nephew chillin under roller coasters puffing on that green stuff."
4. Pee Wee from Bebe's Kids
Even though Bebe's Kids is throwback to most youngins these days, there has never been a better time for a comeback. While Tone Loc held it down as Pee Wee back then, Lloyd Banks could give the baby boy wonder a whole new swag. G-Unit branded diapers, Louis Vuitton booties, maybe even an iced out pacifier!
"We don't die we multiply like a rabbit that's a whore/ hungry, wanna call Domino's but they don't come here anymore!"
5. Aloysius Snuffleupagus
The voice? The lazy eyes? What better person to really get into the role of Snuffy than Lloyd Banks? We can see it already. However, on the SOHH version of Sesame Street, we envision this pachyderm a wee bit grittier, truly living up to his name. If the episode is about bullies, maybe Snuffy could snuff them out while yelling, "GGG-GGG-GGGoodnight!"
"The biggest n*gga on Sesame Street and the softest at that/I'm fiend like Pookie when it comes to finding Bird with that smaaaaack."
From all of us at SOHH, happy birthday Lloyd Banks!