Pulse Report: Funkmaster Flex Bows Down To The God, Game Gets Played, Nicki Minaj Grinds It Out
Friday, Apr 8, 2011 12:50PM
In this week's Pulse Report, we blame Hot 97's Mister Cee's silence for hip-hop's latest beef, take note of Game's worst week of the year, feel Nicki Minaj grind as she earns her spot as "Doggy of the Week" and oh SOHH much more!
1. War Games
Now doggies, before we even get this started, let's be clear. I f*cking love every last one of y'all crazy a** doggies. Gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, it doesn't matter to me. I appreciate every last doggy that f*cks with a bias a** doggy like myself and so it makes me not only mad but furious that this Mister Cee sh*t has gone as far as it has. Mug shots, leaked police reports, radio station wars, subliminal Throwback at Noon jams, fake Twitter pages, WTF? We'll start it off right so we're all on the same page. The legendary Mister Cee got busted last week for "allegedly" getting it in with a prostitute. A "male" prostitute at that. For all the doggies that are in denial, rest assured, this wasn't a mistake.
Although some bloggers are claiming the story is a hoax, the NewYork court system's web site confirms that Calvin Lebrun aka DJ Mister Cee was arrested last week on charges of public lewdness. Evidently DJ Mister Cee, who works for New York City's Hot 97, was picked up for having sex with another 20-year-old man in public. The two men were evidently arrested in Manhattan's West Village, an area known by police where men participate in gay sex in public. Cops say they caught the younger man performing oral sex on DJ Mister Cee at Watt and West Streets. (Gay Socialites)
Now it could have ended here. Right? It could have just been swept away but of course, doggies like Power 105.1's Charlamagne Tha God gotta go in and make doggy, "Donkey of the Day." SMFH. LOL. Which later resulted in Funkmaster Flex airing the sh*t out of Power 105.1. Yes, doggies, the war got launched again.
"New York City, I see everything moving and I see everybody moving," Flex said during his Monday (April 4) night Hot 97 broadcast. "We don't discriminate against no one or anybody. Whatever is your preference out here New York City, we do not discriminate. Because I need to say that before I say what I'm gonna say. Understand, the rumors that you hear about my man Mister Cee are untrue. OK? Let's address that first but we do not discriminate on what anybody wants to do...Now you listen to me right now so you understand clearly. New York City, I'm gonna say something today that I ain't never said. I know over there in that building, greasy talk huh, let me explain something to you right now. I'll lose a friendship today. I know everything that moves in that building...You want to throw a stone this morning? Is that what it is? ... All of y'all over there know exactly what I'm talking about. I will lose that friendship because I stand next to this logo! I stand next to this logo and nothing tears it down! ... Be clear, you'll never win. Ya did what you did and you're still in a losing position. But it doesn't stop there for me...Listen to me, I know what goes on up in those evenings and I know what goes up in that building and around it. And you know the shot I'm sending today. You know what that shot is! ... The choice is yours. You hear me? You know what it is...You will always dream of winning. You will never win. You can take anything you see, anything that you want to go with, this building will never crumble..." (Hot 97)
^ SMFH. Really, Flex? Really? Sh*t is "that" serious? So instead of us getting a concrete response from Mister Cee, the most suspect a** action is made. Funkmaster Flex responds. SMFH. FAIL. FAIL. FAIL. Come on, doggies. That's some real sucker sh*t right there. Not trying to take Power 105.1's side b/c I personally f*ck with Hot 97 but for Flex to take it to this extreme over some sh*t that doesn't even involve you? SMFH. Well, as y'all can imagine, shots were fired and shots were returned.
"Now yesterday we reported on Mister Cee being caught with a transvestite, we found out this morning via The [New York] Postand Daily News that he's been arrested twice before for loitering for the purpose of prostitution. Mister Cee is Funkmaster Flex's friend so Flex decided to stand up for Mister Cee last night," Charlamagne told morning listeners. "You sound like an old a** wrestler. 'Whatcha gonna do, when Funkmaster Flex runs wild on you!' You the big bad wolf in the city, huh? You like to huff and puff and blow houses down. Let's be clear. You can huff and puff but the only thing getting blown down is Mister Cee by transsexuals. That is the fact of the matter. Why you mad at us because your man Mister Cee likes getting it on with transsexuals? ... I'm confused here. He got arrested for being with a transsexual last week, he got busted in October and November for loitering for the purpose of prostitution. Don't get mad at us, get mad at him.....Tell him, 'Homie, I don't care if you like men, but move better. Don't get a prostitute, get a boyfriend. You're out here making yourself and the brand look crazy.' It's OK if he's gay but give him some brotherly advice and tell him to move a little better with it...Subliminals are so 90's. But I understand because you a 1990's type of guy. That's your era." (Power 105.1)
^ SMFH. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! That sh*t was hardbody right there, doggies. Here's my problem. Why do doggies do that "I'mma keep quiet" sh*t? When something becomes "this" major, publications like SmokingGun and Daily News/Post live for this. Scooping up the dirtiest sh*t on you and then exposing the h*ll out of your career. Don't believe me? It doesn't take much to get a police report, doggies.
Lebrun, known as "Mister Cee" on Hot 97, was nabbed along with Lawrence Campbell, 20, according to a criminal complaint sworn by Officer Lindsay Agard. The cop reported spotting Campbell (who used the name "Brooke-Lynn Pinklady" on his just-deleted Facebook page) "manipulating" Lebrun's "exposed, naked, and erect penis" with his "mouth and lips in an up-and-down motion consistent with oral sex." The duo was collared March 30 in a car parked on Manhattan's far West Side, two blocks from the Holland Tunnel. (The Smoking Gun)
And so it goes on. Doggies are weighing in, 5-0 Cent says he'll support Mister Cee no matter what, other doggies feeling split about the whole situation, etc. SMFH. Listen. Point blank, this is what is what. Mister Cee is f*cking things up with the silent treatment. By not saying anything in a case this big is damaging. Whether it happened, which I'd bet the house it did, or not, you have to say "something." Say, "New York, a lot is going on and I thank y'all for the support. Let's focus on the music and let the attorneys do their jobs." I know it sounds corny as h*ll but without a statement, and we're not talking bullsh*t fake Twitter pages, Cee is only making things look worse. "WE" can move on from this but he's gotta tell the public that we can. Just my thoughts doggies, what do y'all think?
2. When It Rains, It Pours
Doggies, I f*ck with Game hard. Yeah, I might clown doggy and call him Gayme sometimes but at the end of the day, he's put out hard music and will go down as the doggy that took down G-Unit, whether true or not. But this week? Doggies, THIS week? SMFH. This had to be the worst week the doggy had ever dealt with. I mean, d*mn, where do we even begin? How about doggy kicking out the only relevant member of Black Wall Street?
It seems Game's Black Wall Street label/crew was reduced by one member over the weekend, when the Compton rapper revealed that longtime member Nu Jerzey Devil is longer down with the crew. In a tweet sent to his 450,000+ Twitter followers on Sunday (April 3), Game dropped the news that the East Coast producer/rapper is not affiliated with BWS. "Breaking News: @nujerzeydevil1 is no longer associated with BWS or anything we have goin' !!! DO NOT AFFILIATE BLOOD WITH US !!! #itsAwrap," the rapper wrote (@TheGame). Details regarding the split were unknown at press time. (Baller Status)
^ WTF? Doggies. At some point, you have to make sense. Even if sh*t is getting ugly on the paper trail, why publicly kick out Nu Jerzey Devil? LOL. Does Game remember who rode with him during that whole G-Unot sh*t? Y'all might think it was boss of him to play like 5-0 and kick somebody "else" out, but that's not a good look. An unstable roster? SMFH. No bueno, doggies. What's even worse is when an old doggy you used to f*ck with breaks down why you keep failing. I mean, d*mmmmmmmn.
"Game is cool, I think he just needs me," Sha said in an interview with radio host EI8HT. "I gave him 'Hate It Or Love It,' I gave him that record. He needs 50 [Cent], he needs us, he needs a Unit. And you see he tried to make a play to get back to us. I hand delivered that record, 'Hate It Or Love It,' so he just needs that banger and he'll be all right. He can rap but he needs to stop shouting out so many names in the songs and just rap. He's got that sh*t. He comes with it, but, he's like Nas, they don't pick the right beats sometimes." ("Street Disciplez Radio")
LMFAO. The fact Sha realizes Game has not had a strong banger since that 2005 debut is hard to swallow. Think about it, sh*t, I'll even give y'all "One Blood," but after that? What, "Wouldn't Get Far?" Nah, Game's career has continued to crumble, not as fast as 5-0 Cent, but still, pretty fast. And these rappers love to talk about their money and whips, well, until that whip gets towed away. SMFH.
The Game was surrounded by a bunch of BAD*SS cars in Hollywood yesterday ... but not one of the rides was his tricked out Corvette ... because that whip was repossessed a few days ago ... TMZ has learned. Game tells TMZ he leased the Corvette roughly three years ago ... but he was on tour when the lease expired and was unable to return it. But a few days ago, after Game returned home, repo men came to the house and took the car away. Sources connected to the situation tell us Game was home at the time and was "cooperative" during the hand-off. Game doesn't seem too bothered by the situation ... telling us, "I got SO many whips!" (TMZ)
^ LOL. The repo men? LOL. Game must have realized how bad sh*t was turning out for him this week b/c he shaved the sh*t out of his head and dyed it tampon-blood red. SMFH. WTF?
"N!ggas hatin on the mohawk ha ha ha... I didn't dye my sh!t for you Ms J azz n!ggas ! Let's see how the women feel ???," Game tweeted Tuesday (April 6).
"Don't be mad my n!gga, Red mohawks & flipping fries @McDonalds just dont mix. Some n!ggas just cant pull it off......"
"It works when u walkin in the bank to deposit $100,000 though."
"Somebody go dye they va-jay-jay RED. Then twitpic it, then I'll know you serious ha ha ha" (Game's Twitter)
LMFAO!!!! No COMMENT, doggies!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. Doggy of the Week: Nicki Minaj
It was a h*ll of a week for a lot of doggies, doggies, but no other than Nicki Minaj had every one of us watching her moves. Keeping sh*t gully about her "jaw-dropping" Lil Wayne lap dance, throwing a crucial heater at Lil Kim's career, getting an interesting a** analysis of the beef from Questlove, downplaying some bisexual rumors and then her Young Money labelmate Shanell commenting on that dildo sh*t. LOL! Nicki had us glued to her a** and we were. Applaud Nicki for snagging "Doggy of the Week" once again.
1. My A** Walks & Talks, Doggies
"Well, I have to say, I been giving lap dances [during the tour], but I didn't know Wayne was gonna jump out and pop out the back," Nicki told MTV News. "I literally was up there trying to get a boy, then I turn around and I see this cute little dread in the chair with his legs dangling off. And I was like, 'What?' I was super nervous." (MTV)
^ LMFAO! I won't even lie, doggies. For Nicki to admit that she was shook about throwing her a** down on Lil Wayne really did something to me. It showed me that behind the bullsh*t personalities and accents, she's actually human. LOL. And I respect the fact that she kept it spongy by admitting that it was not a set-up. Sometimes sh*t happens spontaneously. But now? LOL. She's doing this sh*t at all the YM shows! LOL! LOL! LOL!
2. You're A Ragggggggedddy, Doggggggyyyy
"Eh yo, Pink Friday, Eminem, 8 Mile," Nicki raps, "It must hurt to sell your album off PayPal/Especially when you're in the game, 15-20/You was hot when Shaq teamed up with Penny/Man, you was 'Magic', I mean/Look at you now, h*e, you're just tragic/You a tragedy, you a parody/Last name Ann, first name Raggedy/These goofy b*tches is stupidity personified..." ("Tragedy")
Fire. Period. Doggies, do y'all hear what I hear? This was a leak, not even the full record! And let's be clear. Nicki's album dropped last year, it's already platinum. This ain't no publicity stunt at this point. I still don't think it's "real" hip-hop because what Nicki is doing to Kim is unfair. LOL. Kim's been fell off and with this getting blasted on the radio like a f*cking late night infomercial? SMFH. No excuses. Kim's career can't bounce from this. I mean, sh*t, Kim HIRED Nicki's ex-manager. LOL!!! FAIL!!!!
3. What's Love Got To Do W/ It, Doggies?
"It's my personal belief that dissing/verbal (well & actual) pugilism is the most intense form of LOVE. where your intent is to affect/infect em to the highest degree. i know that sounds contradictory (displaying harsh actions as a sign of affection) but if you see this in somewhat of a shakespearean (or maybe the hero/sidekick narrative of The Incredibles) one can only conclude that if Nik REALLY hated Kim...... she would do the most painful act of hate....which i pretty much know from experience (as loved and hated) the surefire slow burning-last-scene-in-kill-bill-way-to get under ones skin....is to act like they never existed." (Questlove's Twitter)
^ LOL!!! I was gonna actually feature Tony Yayo's wack a**, "that's crazy" Twitter remark he made about "Tragedy" but Questlove gets my respect. I still think he's bugged a little the f*ck out about this being some secret love beef? LMFAO. Yeah, just like doggies that beat their girls do it b/c they really love them. SMFH. F*ck outta here, Quest! LOL.
4. I Only Sex Doggies, Doggies
She may flirt with Rihanna on Twitter, but Nicki Minaj says that doesn't mean she bats for the home team. In a new interview with Q magazine, Minaj shuts down rumors regarding her sexuality. Asked if she is bisexual, the Trinidadian rapper replied, "That's definitely not true ... I guess some people are thrown off by me embracing gay culture. But I don't feel the need to explain that. Unless someone asks me a specific question." (RumorFix)
^ SMFH. So now with all the fame Nicki is turning the bisexual sh*t into just games? SMFH. I think that's a fail but I'll give her props for at least entertaining the question and giving an honest answer. There are some other doggies that are currently being looked at about this same topic and aren't saying sh*t.
5. I Got Co-Signs, Doggies
"I really didn't know it was going to happen. I hadn't seen her show since the first night. She was rehearsing in a different location than us, so I didn't get to see her show before hand, but Nicki's going to do stuff that's going to shock you, so...The media.. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about media right now." (VIBE)
^ LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shanell who? Anyway though, another Minaj co-sign is another accolade to "Doggy of the Week." Watch out doggies, Minaj stole the show and let's not forget about her debut album still pushing over a milli. D*mn. It's a wrap.
4. Mrs. Butterworth: Maci Cruz
Doggies, this has to be a first. LOL. Turns out one of the SOHH doggies reached out to me and personally requested that I feature a handpicked "Mrs. Butterworth." Normally I would jump at the opportunity and then say, "LMFAO! Get the f*ck outta here, no way, Jose!" but being that the weather is starting to feel warmer and I'm more joyous these days since the winter is way back in the rearview mirror? Why the h*ll not, right? Doggies, coming courtesy of SOHH, this week's Mrs. Butterworth is a shorty on the come-up named, "Maci Cruz."
And per SOHH's request, here is the 4-1-1, LMFAO, that expression is old as f*ck! Here y'all go, doggies, here's some more info on this sweet cake.
Dominican born, and New York raised model Maciel, who stands at 5'8 145 Lbs, with measurements of 38-31-40, is a woman/model who is now experiencing the wonders of the entertainment business. She is currently attending Berkeley College for her degree in legal studies, and then continuing her education to become an English Major. Maciel is one who loves to be challenged; she feels that one grows as a person, with each of the challenges they endure. She is the true definition of a Libra, before you know it, you will feel captivated by her smile, charm, and striking personality. Maciel has been featured in videos like Moe Money Feat. Chris Cali and Short Dawg's (YMCMB) "Let's Talk Money" and Brandsondagreat Featuring Chaundon's "Go So Hard."
Aight doggies, calm the h*ll down. LOL. The a** shaking videos will be back on here next week. Be easy! LOL.
5. "STFU" Honors
Doggies, doggies, doggies. Here we are again. LOL. Now just a head's up. It was hard as h*ll to do this week's column simply because doggies like Funkmaster Flex and Charlamagne Tha God had to get put to the side for those posts up above. LOL. But no need to fear, we still got doggies that need to check themselves. First up, it's Kid Cudi thinking he's back in D.A.R.E., then it's Shyne being three years late on dissing Rick Ross as a C.O., SMFH. We don't stop there, doggies. We must listen to 5-0 Cent give up on rapping and try to get some attention by dissing G-Unit. SMFH. Afterward, it's M.O.P. getting the BIGGEST STFU for naming Run-DMC as a rap duo. FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!. We'll end it with Sha Money XL thinking that he really could have helped Lloyd Banks sell a mediocre a** album over at Def Jam. SMFH. Doggies, welcome back to "SHUT THE F*CK UP" Honors!
"I dont smoke weed anymore. I'll leave it to the kids. Im 27 with a business to run and I need to be alert and focused with my mind strong. For those who still get it on, smoke one in my memory as your favorite lonely stoner. This is not a joke. I know most of you wanna see me all drugged out and f*cked up and i know misery loves company, but im sorry those days are over. I had a good run, Amsterdam and all. Im happy being sober. Im happy being a new me. Giva f*ck who thinks of me different, you didnt care about me in the first place if you cant be proud and happy for me for growing and starting a new chapter."
"The difference between me and everybody else, I was talking to Fat Joe the other day when he was like, 'Yo, it's entertainment,' and I was like, 'That's the difference between me and a former correction officer or any of these other dudes.' It's not entertainment for me. You dig? Whatever I give you, is me...[I'm definitely talking about] Rick Ross. Absolutely. He's the only officer I know that's a rapper. I don't know anybody else that used to be a cop that raps...Hip-Hop comes from the gutter, it's from the struggle, from the dudes that's in prison so for a dude that used to lock dudes in, for the dude that used to be like, 'Yo, on the wake up! You got a visit,' for that dude to turn into the biggest gangsta rapper is like shocking to me. I don't even understand that. That makes no sense to me..."
"N*ggas see me, ask me where Lloyd Banks at," 50 says at the end of the track, "N*gga, I don't know where the f*ck that little n*gga at. I ain't heard from him. F*ck Yayo too, I'm on some new sh*t. F*ck the group n*gga! I'm gonna introduce you to my new n*gga. Uh. It's '11. I figured out what's the matter with this sh*t. It ain't me, it's these n*ggas. It's the Roc. I'm on my Jay-Z sh*t. Nah, nah, f*ck the group man! I'm on my bossin' sh*t. I'm all the way to the top god d*mn it. Yeah."
"Run-D.M.C. is just amazing, dude. The style that Run had was just ridiculous. Even though lyrically he was dope too but he was more style. Like, my pops was a good dude and my brother was a great dude, but I wanted to be Run. Just because of the style this dude had. When them dudes came together lyrically they actually took hip-hop music to a whole 'nother level. First to go gold, first to win a Grammy, first to go platinum that's amazing, I don't think anybody will be ever be able to top that."
"I tried to bring [Lloyd] Banks, but they chose EMI," Sha told radio host EI8HT. "The album was amazing but I know I could have did more at Def Jam because Banks is a star. He just needs the right people behind his music. He got 50 [Cent] behind him but I think the machine of Capitol/EMI, they just didn't know what they had. So, they just did my homie wrong. But I tried to bring Banks in."
***Doggies, baseball season is in full effect, f*ck BAH-STUN and let's go NEW YORK KNICKS while I'm at it! Time to start the bullsh*t talk in the comments section. LOL. If my Knicks don't make it to the Finals, then expect it to be the Thunder and Bulls. Still going hot and cold over here like my leaky a** shower temperature but f*ck it, it's the weekend, doggies! Be good and make sure to peep Cap Diss on Tuesday. Word is there is going to be another contest. Until then, I'm outtie, doggies! -BB***
[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]