Pulse Report: LeBron James & Lil Wayne's MILFS Go Wild, Ashley Judd's A Dud, Game Hits Reset
Friday, Apr 15, 2011 1:05PM
In this week's Pulse Report, stare in amazement at LeBron James and Lil Wayne's "MILFS", shake our heads at Ashley Judd's weak, non-apology, look at Game's brighter day and oh SOHH much more!
[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]
1. Got MILF?
LMFAO! Doggies, what is going on with these older women these days? LMFAO. I'll be the first one to tell all of y'all that I love an older woman but all the sh*t that's going down as of late? LeBron? Dwayne? SMFH. I won't lie, I ain't f*cking with the Miami Heat this weekend so it's just me being an a**, but WTF, Gloria James?!
Last week, Lebron's outspoken mother Gloria James was arrested after allegedly attacking a parking attendant at the Fountain Bleau Hotel in Miami. According to reports, she attempted to hit the man with her purse, missed, and then followed it up with a slap to his face. Well, after looking at the video footage of the incident that surfaced this week, I've come to the conclusion that the parking attendant initiated the incident. It looks as though he pushed Lebron's mother before she retaliated by swinging her purse. She eventually fell down. (Necole Bitchie)
^ LMFAO!!!!!! I won't even lie, that sh*t was wild funny. How is this MILF swinging at doggies that's younger than her son? First off, she was drunk as h*ll so this is beyond comprehension. Did y'all peep the footage? James falling on her a**? LMFAO. Even worse?
Check this out..we received a tip that Lebron offered the valet $150,000 and he turned it down. Stupid a** Rockfeller Sorel (the valet) went to the hospital for a slap and he thinks he can get millions from Lebron James. Its good that this footage came out because it looks like he will not get shit. Karma is a bitch, and greed is her sister. Looks like Ms. James can sue Fountainbleau for the valet aggressively hitting her first. (Baller Alert)
^ SMFH. I guess doggy thinks he can just buy his way out of sh*t, huh? LeBron coughing up $150,000? SMFH. Doggies, does he realize he is offering a doggy that got attacked by the richest NBA player's mother chump change? LOL. Yeah, Bron Bron, you! SMFH. Guess he's still tight abou this:
LOL! Now if that wasn't enough, doggies, turns out Lil Wayne found himself in some MILF gossip too. LOL. Guess doggies got tired of Shanell, huh? LMFAO.
"Everybody out there owe somebody a real big apology. This Marissa right here, this is my stylist," Wayne said in a video. "See, this is the reason I'm flyer than all you n*ggas, you understand? This is my stylist, she's been my stylist for years...There's a rumor out right now saying this is my girl 'cause I had my arm around her. My arm is around her right now, my arm is always around her, this is my dude. This is my homie right here. And all them little things you saying that [she's] a cougar and all that, we not with that over there." (Streets Talk)
LMFAO!!!! This doggy might be WINNING when it comes to music, but what in the h*ll is he talking about? LMFAO!!!! Just another case of when doggies get caught in bad spots. LeBron's drunk a** mama and Lil Wayne getting up close with his stylist. I mean, can Wayne be tight though? Anything he touches becomes pregnant, right? LOL.
2. Double Jeopardy
Doggies, let's be clear about something. Much like I told y'all in Cap Diss this week, I f*ck with Ashley Judd. She's a MILF, has shown her t*ts in flicks and has been teamed up in some dope a** blockbuster thrillers. While I could take the time and show y'all the back-and-forth reactions from doggies like 9th Wonder and Questlove, I want to bring to y'all's attention her weak a** apology. She played it smart and hit up Russell Simmons to put up this apology, but how the h*ll is her saying "some" hip-hop is bad? SMFH. That's something I have a problem with. That's like another race saying, "Some Spanish kids are criminals and rapists." WTF!? Y'all be the judge, SOHH cut the apology short but here is word-for-word what she said. SMFH.
The outcry regarding my remarks, 2 paragraphs of my 400+ page book, regarding hip hop and rap, has been as astounding as it is out of context. As reactions continue to rage on Twitter and blogs, I am addressing it where I have more than 140 characters. The general theme is to express my gratitude for a chance to learn, to be corrected where I was wrong, to make amends, and hold firm and strong on the original intention and context of the points I made, with a commitment to try to do so less clumsily and with more sensitivity in the future.
I am also aware that, no matter what I do, some will call me disingenuous and impute bad motives to me.
Original context: The paragraphs are about an introductory dialogue I had with YouthAIDS in 2002, the organization for whom I serve as Global Ambassador. They had collaborated with artists such as Snoop Dogg to spread reproductive health and gender empowerment messages. I asked for more information about how the organization reconciled Snoop's lyrics and gender posturing with its public health mission. YouthAIDS answered my questions satisfactorily and I have traveled the world with them since that time. I also serve on the board of directors for YouthAIDS' parent organization, Population Services International.
The Outcry: As a thoughtful friend put it, "fans stand behind their artists," and rightfully so. Hip-hop and rap -- which are distinct from one another, although kin -- stand for a lot more than a beat and vibe. They represent more than I, an outsider, has the right to articulate. This tweet capture's the essence of what you have taught me: "Rap is something you do....Hip-Hop is a CULTURE you live! Don't let a few bad apples' lyrical message speak for a whole culture! My equivalent genres, as an Appalachian, an oppressed and ridiculed people, would be mountain music and bluegrass. Those genres tell the history, struggles, grief, soul, faith, and culture of my people. In imagining how I would feel if someone made negative generalizations about that music, I am deeply remorseful that anything I may have said in "All That Is Bitter & Sweet" would hurt adherents of genres that represent their culture. This book is an act of love and service. Insulting people of goodwill is the antithesis of its raison d'etre.
I have looked closely at the feedback I have received about those two paragraphs, and absolutely see your points, and I fully capitulate to your rightness, and again humbly offer my heartfelt amends for not having been able to see the fault in my writing, and not having anticipated it would be painful for so many. Crucial words are missing that could have made a giant difference. It should have read: "Some hip-hop, and some rap, is abusive. Some of it is part of the contemporary soundtrack misogyny (which, of course, is multi-sonic). Some of it promotes the rape culture so pervasive in our world....." Also, I, ideally, would have anticipated that some folks would see only representations of those two paragraphs, and not be familiar with the whole book, my work, and my message. I should have been clear in them that I include hip-hop and rap as part of a much larger problem. It is beyond unfortunate that I am talking about some, for example, of Snoop Doggs' lyrics, an assumption has been spread I was talking about every single artist in both genres. That is false and distorted. Here, I am again aware that it would be impossible for me to get this "exactly right." Some will find fault, no matter how careful I am, no matter what my intentions.
Easily the most ludicrous thing about the Twitter wars has been the perpetuation of the ridiculous accusation I am blaming two musical genres for poverty, AIDS, and the whole of rape culture. Please, people. Seriously? It's beneath all of us that this even merits a comment. Gender inequality and rape culture were here a long before the birth of the genres and rage everywhere. Someone pointed out American history includes extensive white patriarchal rape. I'd add genocide, too, but that is another essay.
Regarding what is happening on Twitter:
Thumbs Up: In those 2 paragraphs, I was addressing gender and gender only. However, the outcry focused so much on race (and at times class) that it was naive of me to assume that everyone knew I was discussing only gender. My favorite feminist teachers, such as bell hooks and Gloria Steinem, would probably have admonished me, as they write that gender, class, and race are inextricably bound in the conversation about gender equality. My amends for thinking you could read my mind and know I was only talking about gender. I understand why you were offended.
Thumbs Up: Thank you to the fans of both genres who have introduced me to artists whose lyrics embody activism and progressive values. I know India.Arie is soul and R & B, but she gives you an idea about what I enjoy: positive, affirming, prayerful. I am glad to have more beats for my playlists. I celebrate the music, its meaning, and those who love it.
Thumbs Up: To those willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, asking for a clarification. Your graciousness stood out. I hope I can extend the same mercy and patience to others who initially offend me. Thank you.
^ Bulldog Butters Tip? NO COMMENT rule!
3. Doggy of the Week: Game
I know doggies, I went all the way in last week with
Gayme Game. But can you blame me? He had a horrible a** seven days. From getting his sh*t repo'd to being clowned by Sha Money XL, it was a BAD look day-to-day. But if you believe in the yin then you have to believe in the yang. Doggies, this was Game's week. Even though this was said on a Thursday, Game getting props from a doggy I really respect, J.R. Rotem, and then having Dr. Dre lace up your R.E.D Album? But even bigger than that, Game is either sounding really smart or really dumb by saying that the rap game is dying at a fast rate. Either way, he gets props for that. But above all, this doggy skips "STFU" Honors and gets a big a** "LOL" for sticking to this "Charles Louboutin" moniker and trying to sell it to us. SMH. LOL. Doggies, Game's worst-week-ever was the past, now it's time to pay homage to what he's done right now.
"I think the most underrated rapper out right now is Game. For me, it's the way he delivers. First of all, lyrically, he's on a way higher level than most. It's about the way he puts sentences and words together. It's also the way he's rhyming on songs that's important. Another reason I like Game is because of the way he talks. The way he says things on records [contains] so much conviction, you can really feel something when it comes to him."
^ To keep it all the way live with y'all, doggies, this sh*t is impressive. Now y'all know I respect Rotem for being a real a** producer that gets those pop song passes as well. LOL. But for Game to be a rapper that hasn't put out real quality sh*t since 2008, I gotta pay homage and respect. That's a big a** co-sign right there.
"[The] release date [is] probably late July or early August, man. I'll let [producer] Jimmy Iovine put that red paint on the calendar and give us a specific date," the Game said. "All I know is that the album is almost finished. Dre is finishing up Detox and then he going to help me finish up mine. I'm like 90, 95 percent done. Just waiting on Dre to finish his project and then come on over and lend his ear and probably mix a couple of songs, especially the ones that he did, and we're going to see it in stores."
^ SMFH. Doggies, y'all don't even realize how close I was to putting this doggy in "STFU" Honors. LOL. I'll give him a pass though. The fact Game can keep on riding on Dr. Dre's coattails is f*cking ridiculous. Even though I still don't really believe Dre/Game are back to how they used to be, if there is even the bit of truth to this, I'd be impressed. One record alone by Dr. Dre (even though he was supposed to be doing the executive producing of the album), would be a big a** accomplishment. But the main reason why Game got my nod is b/c he's basically saying his album will drop AFTER Detox drops. LMFAO. Now that's smart a** marking! LOL!!!!
"These days man, Drake and J. Cole are kind of like the newest artists that got praise and are on their way to the top," Game explained in an interview. "I just feel like everybody these days, with Twitter and with how easy it is to just make yourself a rapper, I'm just saying some of these cats would trade their soul for the limelight. That's what everybody's doing. It just seems like regular people are just starting to pick up the mic and writing. I come from an era when you could count all the rappers on two hands. These days, it's a million. So it's a good thing that hip-hop is providing a way for everybody to kind of make money and be themselves and collaborate in the culture. But in another way, we get dizzy with all these new one-hit wonders and of course the radio is all colorful. It's crazy man, so maybe one day we'll get back to what hip-hop's supposed to be or maybe we won't. But I know I'ma blend in either way, I'm a chameleon."
Hate doggy or love doggy, Game might be the most truthful confused a** rapper in rap. I still can't call it, if he really has bipolar tendencies or if he just runs hot and cold with the amount of sh*t coming out of his mouth, but he's on point right here. Y'all know I've been pushing for J. Cole for a minute now and to know Game is up on doggy, I respect that. That alone gets doggy a nod.
"Christian Louboutin is the red bottom, man," Game explained in an interview. "I'm kinda like the red connoisseur, so it is what it is, man. 'Charles Louboutin.' It's fly. But you know, everybody always had their nicknames, you know what I'm saying? [Rick] Ross has the -- 'Don,' Jay-Z got Hov. You know what I'm saying? Dr. Dre's got Dr. Dre. Snoop [Dogg's] got Snoop Doggy Dogg. Boss Dogg. So I thought I'd come up with something creative that would kind of sit there and stand for what I am and also give the ladies a little, [smiles], so you know, it's Charles Louboutin."
^ LMFAO!!!!!!!!! *DEAD!!!!!!!!!* LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. Mrs. Butterworth: Ashley Logan
SMFH. I know doggies, y'all weren't feeling the pick. LOL. I wasn't either. But this week? Y'all know we had to bounce back like A.J. Burnett on the mound. I tell y'all, the title of Mrs. Butterworth is something I take very dearly. We've had some duds here and there, but a dud in here is the equivalent of Jay-Z's Kingdom Come. Sh*t might not be hardbody but it's going to get some radio play. LOL. So with all that hype and speculation, let's not waste any more time! Clap your hands, feet,
meat, everything for the juicy Ashley Logan!
SMFH. This is Top 5 Dead Or Alive, right here doggies. Only problem is b/c of SOHH's measurement restrictions, this is looking more PG-13 than R, so to all the doggies who are looking for a bit "more" then just follow the leader. CLICK RIGHT HERE TO SEE ASHLEY LOGAN'S FULL PHOTOS. And once you're back, keep clicking down and pay homage to some visually moving treats, doggies.
^ Doggies, I think we are officially even from last week. LOL.
5. "STFU" Honors
It's another week in, another week down doggies and what better way to end than "SHUT THE F*CK UP" Honors. LOL. Sometimes doggies have to be punished for the silly sh*t they say in interviews, in front of cameras or writing on blogs. Of course Yung Berg finds back in here trying to convince doggies it's more logical to be indie than have a major record label. SMFH. Yeah, go tell that to Drake, Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj, Rick Ross, Kanye West and all those other doggies banking off majors. Then we're gonna watch Bow Wow try to make himself sound important "AND" a part of Young Money. LMFAO. After Bow Wow, we'll take a quick stop at Pill who says the most ridiculous statement we've heard thus far. Natalie Nunn acts like Natalie Nunn. And how else could we end "STFU" Honors than with Lupe Fiasco? SMFH. Doggies, kick back and relax. You're in for a treat. LOL!!!!
"I think a lot of people back in the day, when I was coming up, thought getting a record deal was the way to get into the game. But I think right now with the Internet and with people being used to getting music so quickly, I think a record label is something you really don't need...As far as Lupe Fiasco's [Atlantic Records] situation goes, I feel him 110 percent because he came into the game and had major success but then the climate of the music industry changed and they wanted him to sign a 360 deal. So he was like, "F*ck that. I've already made my mark. I've already did what I did so why should I conform to these industry type ways." And I feel him on that but then again, this sh*t is a business and at the end of the day, that just is what it is."
"Well you know... we deal with rumors all the time. When you the hottest label everybody wants to tear you apart. Especially when you have 5 major superstars in one crew and not only that you have some up and coming stars too, so that's what they want to do. Just like when the Lakers had Gary Payton, Karl Maloneand all them, the media broke them up. Even with the Miami Heat, you see it. We lose 6 games and they think it's the end of the world. You know but its cool because we a family and so everything on the outside stays on the outside. We know how to deal with it, we professionals, we all at the top of our game, we love this you know, we tasting victory right now, so we don't want to pass this plate off no time soon so its kinda like, you just thug it out. It is what it is and some people don't like what we do, but we know there's a lot of people that are going to love what we do and respect what we do so that's what we do it for."
"I bring a reality. I bring that reality back. I paint pictures out of the hood. My music is complimenting their style. I like to document all the shit I've been through and I don't think anybody can do that better than me. Ain't no raw MC in the game that's rawer than me. I documented my sh*t. Whatever I rapped about I showed it to you. When you've got that much credibility, there ain't anyone else with that much credibility. When you've got somebody that raw and that intelligent that can touch on all angles and come from every side with it and be able to clarify it and also be able to give you stories, whatever angle it may be, it's a true testimony. If I'm on a track with Ross or whoever it may be I can switch to any subject. It's always going to be clarity with me. I think I bring more versatility than any other artist in the game."
"You want to f*cking do my sloppy a** seconds, b*tch," Natalie said in her broadcast referring to Amber Rose over the weekend. "You want to f*cking come behind me and f*cking pick up my f*cking crumbs like a f*cking peasant that you are? A f*cking peasant, picking up crumbs, picking up f*cking dollars, taking your f*cking clothes off for some f*cking dollars and bending over and picking the sh*t up? ... You're a sloppy seconds a** b*tch...Amber Rose, yes, I f*cking said it, Amber f*cking Rose decided to go to Barbados the same weekend that the 'Bad Girls Club' next season, the one that's taping right now, and tried to show the f*ck up. B*tch, you got me real f*cked up. You want me to tell you why b*tch? 'Cause I'm two steps ahead of you..."
"I can actually make the argument, seriously, that, Yo, I'm better than all y'all," he boasted. "You have people who can say that. Jay-Z can say that. Eminem can say that. Canibus can say that--if we are going line for line. If you want to relate me to the newer cats, let's go. Let's go line for line and bar for bar. If it's all about spitting and metaphors and MCing and lyrics and entendres, I will eat 99 percent of you dudes up."
***Doggies, sorry for Pulse Report lacking the juicy sh*t, I mean, MILFS, Ashley Logan, Ashley Judd? SMFH. Could y'all even ask for any more? LOL. J/K. Seriously though doggies, weather is finally getting warmer around here so we'll see if these reckless doggies are gonna start beefing again. And yeah, until Mister Cee addresses the tranny sh*t, I am trying to fall back from covering it unless it gets extreme. LOL. Time to pony up doggies, who's betting in this first NBA round? Here's BB's 1st round predictions: Spurs over Grizzlies, Lakers over Hornets, Portland "over" Mavs, Denver over Thunder, Chicago over Indiana, Heat over 76ers....SMFH......, Knicks over Celtics and the Hawks over Magic. Thank me later doggies! LMFAO! -BB***