News: Lupe Fiasco Contemplated Killing Himself, "I Was Super-Depressed, Lightly Suicidal"
Saturday, Mar 5, 2011 9:42AM
Grammy-winning rapper Lupe Fiasco has revealed a past indecision to consider killing himself as a result of criticism received from his record label Atlantic Records.
According to Fiasco, harsh words in relation to a contributed verse to B.o.B.'s "Nothing On You" 2010 single pushed him to the edge.
Interference began, he says, after executives insisted that The Cool - and its million-selling single Superstar - were considered failures. A fractious process reached rock bottom when Atlantic's chairman, Craig Kallman, told him his verses and performance on a new song the label wanted him to record, called Nothing On You, were "wack". (That was before the song, with Lupe's verses removed and new ones written by its original guest vocalist, his friend B.o.B, became a worldwide hit last year.) "That was the tipping point," he says. "It was less about the bruised ego but more the audacity of it. It was mentally destructive. I say it with a certain laissez-faire now because I'm past it, but back then, hearin' that shit, it fucked me up. I was super-depressed, lightly suicidal, at moments medium suicidal - and if not suicidal, willing to just walk away from it all completely." (The Guardian)
A few days ago, Lupe claimed Atlantic requested specific demands from him regarding his third album's material.
"I was specifically told" -- Fiasco chuckled -- "'Don't rap too deep on this record.'" He laughed some more. "That was a specific order from the top. 'You're rapping too fast or too slow, or it's too complex.' ... There are consequences and combat that comes from that process and the eventual compromise. With me, though, I'm not writing about someone else. I'm writing about me. This is my life. It's very personal for me. So for somebody to kind of put their fingers in that and play with that, it becomes more damaging." (Chicago Sun-Times)
The rapper went on to accuse Atlantic of holding stipulations toward him.
The process of finishing "Lasers" he described with words one hates to hear from a creative artist. He "hunkered down" and "got through it." He "went along," he "acquiesced." He "found some emotional distance from the music." He "lost those aspirations." "I am a hostage," Fiasco said. "I gave them what they wanted. If I didn't, at the end of the day the album wasn't coming out." (Chicago Sun-Times)
Fiasco recently expressed feelings of hatred toward the new solo effort.
"One thing I try to stress about this project is, I love and hate this album," Fiasco explained in an interview. "I listen to it and I'll like some of the songs. But when I think about what it took to actually get the record together and everything that I went through on this record--which is something I can't separate--I hate this album. A lot of the songs that are on the album, I'm kinda neutral to. Not that I don't like them, or that I hate them, it's just I know the process that went behind it. I know the sneaky business deal that went down behind this song, or the artist or singer or songwriter who wrote this hook and didn't want to give me this song in the first place. So when I have that kind of knowledge behind it, I'm just kind of neutral to it like, 'Another day, another dollar.' As opposed something like The Cool, which is more of my own blood, sweat, and tears, and my own control. With this record, I'm little bit more neutral as to the love for the record." (Complex)
Check out some recent Lupe Fiasco footage below:
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