Pulse Report: 50 Cent & Ja Rule Still Outta Control, Chris Brown's Tears Bring Fame & Sales, G-Unit's Top Doggy Earns His Spot

Friday, Mar 25, 2011 12:40PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we laugh off our seats watching 50 Cent and Ja Rule giving one last look at Internet beefing, ponder if Chris Brown's latest antics were staged, give G-Unit's top doggy his credit and oh SOHH much more!

1. Curtis Vs. Jeffrey

LMFAO. I give the h*ll up, doggies! How can I possibly give commentary or even narration to 5-0 Cent and Ja Rule going at each other's necks? The sh*t is actually pretty wild. Think about it, 5-0 Cent's career is going down the sh*tter faster than you can say, GG-GGG-what, to a teenager. But then you got Ja Rule, who you could argue has also been suffering a fast fall from fame. D*mn. Well, turns out 5-0 had to do what he does best, sh*t on a doggy when he's down, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, Rule wasn't having it. Doggies, much like we did with Game and Kat Stacks, @BulldogButters is falling back and letting these doggies go at it. Sure, this came and went, but looking back at it, how can you NOT laugh? LOL!!!

5-0 Says:

"D*mn you don't want to pay taxes fool. Take 3 more years hahaha. Oh sh*t I'm crying LMAO," 50 tweeted Wednesday (March 23).

Ja Says:

This n*gga @50cent talking can Sombody tell this clown he aint HOT no more lol...
He got 3 mil followers and his last album barely went gold gtfoh @50cent This Curtis fellow is a real clown clothing line dead sneakers dead album sales been dead and y'all let him talk like he's poppin @50cent I wouldn't expect anything different from a ho ass n*gga like @50cent

5-0 Says:

These fools never play chess. I remind people how stupid they are before every project and they just bite the bait. LMAO
Man some body just told me they waiting for little man to hit rikers island. They gone scratch him wit dat razor. LMAO No he died a few years ago RT @Cuthouse_Hadi: @50cent Ja RUle is still alive??! LMAOOOO

Ja Says:

I'm gonna just bomb on this nigga @50cent and dare his b*tch ass to tweet back get your popcorn lmao...
This nigga @50cent mad at me cause I didn't sign his hat back in the days lol...
Out of every rapper @50cent had beef wit who put hand and feet on #booboo @Ruleyork that's who lol!!!
This look better suits you #booboo @50cent lol...http://plixi.com/p/86274197
New album June 7th I'll put my shit up against @50cent anyday he's my son I raised can't y'all tell lmao!!! Yo @50cent I was just on tour wit cici she said your breath smell like dick lol!!! That's why she stopped fuckin wit u lmao... This nigga@50cent reminds me of mc gusto from cb4 nothing about him is real he stole his name from a street nigga from Bk that he didnt know
All u so called real niggas that's on my timeline PRAISING a snitch need to check ya draws u might be wearing panties!!! Have y'all seen @50cent shower scene in grodt wit Terrance Howard #RumpRyder... @50cent takes it under the mustache lmfao!!!
I'm just having fun wit this sucka @50cent cause y'all think everyone is scared of him lol I think y'all r scared of this ho ass nigga...Ok I'm done wit that clown s/o to all my new followers who enjoy all this dumb shit I'll be sure to keep u entertained lol...And NO I didn't get HACKED I just don't RESPECT bitch ass niggas!!!
Lmao at curtis bieber trending!!! Somebody just told me they gonna give the monkey a new dimple!!! I remember when we was beating @50cent ass he was curled up under the track board like a BIAICH lmao!!!
I can talk shit on twitter to that ho ass nigga I already fucked him up TWICE lol... Talk what u know ppl better yet ask him lmao!!! @50cent talked about me singing but that nigga sure be hitting that high note lol My STUDENT!!! Lmao The PUPPET MASTER @50cent u still PUSSY at the end of the day haha!!! Follow Me!!!

^ SMFH.....hate to admit it, doggies, but 5-0 won this sh*t. Rule admitting he's seen 5-0's movie? SMFH...you ain't winning, Ja Jah.

2. The Hoax

LMFAO. I promised the editors that I'd keep this sh*t short and simple, so let's cut around the bush. PAUSE. Chris Brown staged it. PERIOD. Now y'all can get mad and say it doesn't make sense but think about it. Leaked nude pics a few weeks ago? Hanging up on doggies during interviews? Then, DAY-OF the new album dropping, he makes every f*cking headline on every entertainment report nationwide? SMFH. Are you f*cking kidding me doggies? LOL. The best part? All this hype about him POSSIBLY getting arrested or going to jail because of his probation suddenly disappeared as ABC decided NOT to press charges, and oh yeah, his album is gonna debut at NO.1!?!?!?!!? Get the F*CK OUT OF HERE. LOL. For doggies who went ghost this week, here's the sped-up version of what Mr. Brown pulled off:

Chris Brown "Explodes" At "GMA"

Chris Brown exploded in rage behind the scenes at "Good Morning America" this morning ... smashing a window and storming out without a shirt ... sources tell TMZ ... and it was triggered by on-air questions about the Rihanna incident. ABC sources tell TMZ ... Brown performed and was interviewed by Robin Roberts live from the Times Square studio when she began asking about the infamous incident. Brown tried to redirect the questions to focus on his album -- but Roberts continued to ask about Brown's legal issues stemming from the Rihanna incident. (TMZ)

Chris Brown Not Only Avoids Jail But DWTS Still On

chris-brown-2011-03-22-300x300.jpgRobin Roberts & Chris Brown

It would appear ABC is in a forgiving mood. The network has reportedly decided not to press charges against hot-tempered crooner Chris Brown for an alleged violent outburst following a 'Good Morning America' visit on Tuesday. Not only that, but they have also reportedly decided that they still want Brown to appear on 'Dancing With the Stars' next week. The accusations of vandalism arose suspicion that Brown may have broken his probation for his attack on Rihanna. But network sources tell TMZ that ABC has decided to let this one slide and not pursue a complaint. (Popeater)

Chris Brown Apologizes

"So when we actually did this event, everything was cool. ... Everything that was sent to me was about the album. That's what we were talking about. So when the interview proceeded, I was thrown off. I felt like, ok, they told us this to get us on the show and exploit me. I took it very, very hard. I kept my composure throughout the whole interview. ... And when I got back I just let off steam in the back. I didn't physically hurt anyone. I just wanted to release the anger inside me. I felt like I worked so hard for this music. ... I got very emotional." ("106 & Park")

..........the final result?

Chris Brownchris-brown-court-2011-02-23-300x300.bmp

Barry Weiss certainly didn't leave the cupboard bare at Jive/RCA when he split for UMG. The label group will have the top four debuts on next week's chart, with Jive/JLG's Chris Brown album,F.A.M.E., leading the way, boasting a total of in the 250-275k range. That would make it the second-largest of the year afterAdele's 351k. If you didn't know, the acronym stands for "Forgive All My Enemies." Nice. (HITS Daily Double)

Five main points. First, this sh*t is hilarious as h*ll b/c anybody who is anybody knows this was set-up. Second, if ABC wasn't so excited about "GMA" getting a ratings boost from this, they'd sell this "DWTS" sh*t b/c a violent doggy like him on their show? SMFH. Yeah right. Third, his last album didn't even chart in the Top 5, now it's gonna be No. 1? The second biggest debut of the year? Fourth, this doggy waits until those first-week projections to apologize? Last? *Hand Claps* for a doggy using the media's a** and getting away with it. D*mn..............

3. Doggy of the Week: 5-0 Cent

SMFH. Gotta give props when props are due, doggies. Now don't get this sh*t twisted. I still think 5-0 Cent is a joke and that his career has been painfully declining since 2007 but this week? F*CKING AMAZING. Doggy held sh*t down and even had me wondering if he was bullsh*tting or really making legitimate a** comments on RELEVANT sh*t. Not wasting any time, let's give props to J.R. Rotem giving it up to 5-0, then peep how 5-0 kept sh*t gully on Dre/Chelsea Handler/the Grammy Awards bullsh*t/Face tats and even saving room to punk Ja Rule's a** (see above). ALL IN 7 DAYS, DOGGIES. Hate it or love it, @BulldogButters, 5-0 is "Doggy of the Week."

1. I Still Got Co-Signs, Doggies

J.R. Rotem50 Cent

When me and 50 Cent are in the studio, there's a certain method that I have. I was actually in the studio with him a few months ago so it starts with meeting him. And then 50 will play me some things he's working on so I kind of get a vibe and a sense of, "OK, where is he trying to go?" Let's be honest, 50 Cent has had an incredible career, put out a bunch of albums, developed as an artist but now he's in a different place, a different place in his life. So with that being considered, I have to get a sense of where he's going. Is he inspired by a more soulful kind of sound? Should I consider getting a lot of soulful samples? Is it a little bit more electronic? Is it this? Is it that?

^ Don't take that sh*t as a throw-away piece from J.R. Rotem. Y'all doggies need to do your research and how much hot sh*t doggy has been responsible for over the past 5 years. Half the sh*t on the radio was either produced by doggy or inspired from him. J.R. is the reason you got doggies stepping out of that hardcore rap sh*t and keeping hip-hop going into other genres. Pay homage doggies, he's co-signing the sh*t out of 5-0.

2. I Checked In & Out The Doctor, Doggies

Dr. Dre50 Cent

"I have a strong personality, a strong character. And I can be difficult to deal with at certain points because I'm vocal. If you upset Em, he's just gonna not talk to you. You're not going to get him in the next room you wanna get him in. With Dre, the same. He's not comfortable with friction. That [tweet] is, "Hey look, I'm here. Is everybody still paying attention?" So they go, "Why he say that? Why he say we mad?" Then the meeting happens."

^ SMFH. WTF? Still don't fully understand that sh*t but I'll give 5-0 credit here for one main reason. He answered that sh*t about his tussle with Dre over them headphones. That's enough to win my a** over. LOL.

3. I Coulda Had Sex W/ Her, Doggies

Chelsea Handler50 Cent & Chelsea Handler

"Chelsea is confident. I think confidence is the sexiest thing about a person. She's the kind of person that if you're blessed with the opportunity to hang out with her, you'll enjoy it. I'm not sure you'll look at her and actually want to jump over the table and f-ck her, but you might. You would leave after talking with her feeling that she is a cool person."

^ LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! Doggies, did I or did I NOT tell y'all that 5-0 wasn't pounding that a**? Matter of fact, this almost confirms my statements saying that Chelsea dumped 5-0. Right? LOL. Anyway, he could have went grimey as h*ll right here but 5-0 actually gave props and made sure to put Chelsea's wild a** in a positive light. Can't knock a doggy for that.

4. I Felt That Doggy's Pain

Drake50 Cent

"I think Drake got robbed. He should have got artist of the year last year [ laughs], to be real with you... He did a lot, man. I don't believe that Drake would have been as successful or his project would have been as successful if Lil' Wayne was home. That point where Wayne had to sit down provided a complete focus on Drake."


5. My Mug Is Too Pretty, Doggies

Gucci Mane (Concept)50 Cent

"That's the craziest thing. Not necessarily Gucci, but to tattoo your face says that there's not a possibility that you can actually walk into a legitimate establishment without makeup covering your face every day. That does not work. It creates a separation. It says, "I'm an artist." That's it. That's the statement you make when you go and tattoo your face...But know that the public will not have interest in you as an artist for life. You have to be phenomenal. Talk to the best that do it and they will tell you that it will take more than you being an artist. It takes marketing, maneuvering to generate for that long. When you got 40-year-old rappers in the game, those guys have maneuvered and survived."

^ LOL. Another strong a** co-sign doggies. The fact is you can't keep bullsh*tting and thinking doggies outside of this rap sh*t can respect it. Look at Jay-Z. Doggy owns a f*cking basketball team, doggies. These doggies gotta think bigger than investing in liquor or a clothing line. Get your paper up and change your outlook on life. Can y'all imagine Barack Obama rocking fitted hats in the Oval Office? Some sh*t you just have to cool the f*ck off with.

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Kimbella

SMFH. I know doggies. I know. I know that I am dead a** late on featuring Kimbella in here. Doggies have been telling me about her for a minute but every time I heard the name, I thought of f*cking Zelda and then Lil Kim's La Bella Mafia. LOL. And plus she's Juelz Santana's baby moms, so I never really like to put a RAPPER'S baby moms on here, sh*t just feels funny as h*ll. But here we are, toward the end of March and what better way to heat up spring? Kimbella is sexy as h*ll. I mean, Juelz Santana picked a solid chick to carry his kids. D*mn. Well, y'all know how we roll, doggies, let's hear it for the latest addition to Mrs. Butterworth: Kimbella.




Y'all doggies still thirsty? Those bowls still empty? LOL. Here y'all go!

^ SMFH. Fuego! Fuego! No mas fuego! LMFAO!!!

5. "STFU" Honors

Doggies, it's about that time isn't it? Some say they're tired of that "he say, she say" sh*t but when it's involving these doggies saying stuff that could get them slapped in the back of the head? LMFAO. Let's hear it for Mashonda who thinks doggies still wanna see her non-sexy a** plastered on the cover of a KING mag. Let's hear it for Yung Berg thinking he can REALLY uplift DMX's career. SMFH. NO COMMENT. Let's then hear it for Benzino who waved the white flag and tried to act like "he" squashed his wack a** Slaughterhouse beef when in reality....NODOGGY gave a Hip-Hop Weekly f*ck! LOL. Then we'll experience some deja vu after seeing Yung Berg again thinking we're really interested in him and Jay Leno's offspring Natalie Nunn. LOL. And finally? Freekey Zekey, you know I f*ck with cha doggy, but Cam'ron bodying doggies in beefs? LOL. Ya kidding, right? LOL!!!! Welcome doggies, "SHUT THE F*CK UP" Honors back in full effect.

1. Mashonda

mashonda-2011-03-22-300x300.jpgAlicia Keys Vs. Mashonda

"You mean the groupie boys? ... Yeah, you never know. I mean, they all love me...I show everybody love. But I don't like the word 'groupie'--it's so harsh. I don't feel there's anything wrong with one person admiring another person... I recently went on a date, and it was incredible."

2. Yung Berg

Yung BergDMX

"But with me, personally I feel X needs to talk about the trials and tribulations that he's going through and letting people see the real side of him. X needs one of these crazy a** beats that I got and one of these banging a** hooks that I come up with and I think that will help. But not only that, DMX gave me a lot of knowledge."

3. Benzino

"Shout-out to Slaughterhouse," Zino said in an interview with Mikey T The Movie Star. "Congratulations on that Eminem/Shady deal. I probably was real responsible for that. [laughs] Nah, but for real. Big up to my man Slam -- Slam had talked to [a mutual] friend of ours from Detroit and I guess we straightened out [our beef]. It's all good. We actually just put them in the last [Hip-Hop Weekly] magazine, talking about they signed to Shady Records -- Slaughterhouse is like D12 on steroids. I say that, with no disrespect, just lyrical. They're cats that's lyrical in that whole frame of lyricism...At the end of the day, a n*gga beefing with motherf*ckers, unless it's some real sh*t, I think beefing might not be the way to go moving on to 2012 because -- it really has to be about music. If something jumps off, it jumps off. We don't back down from nobody -- but at the end of the day, if you want to get your business right and keep your business going, beef ain't gonna help."

4. Yung Berg

"It kind of happened organically," Berg said about casting her in his music video. "I live in LA and I've known Natalie and she's just always around. We just happened to be in LA and to be honest with you, due to the content of the record, I was like I didn't want it to be me with a whole bunch a women. I felt like that's been done before. Me and Nat are friends and the Internet is always putting us together like we're dating or I'm f*cking her. So we were like let's play a joke and put the video out, so if people want to attach us like that, let's go ahead and make some history. It happened real quick. I called her the day of the video, like 'Yo Nat what you're doing today?' and she was like, 'I'm not doing nothing, just shopping.' Two hours later she showed up and we shot the video."

5. Freekey Zekey

"Cam, Jimmy [Jones] and Juelz [Santana] can make a hit song easy," Freekey told SOHH. "And any battle that Cam came across, he melted whatever the situation was. Way back to the Nas's, the Jay-Z's, the 50's, you know what I'm saying? Even though that's all old and we're about getting money now, when that beef wax battle came through, he was up there. He had the grenades, rocket launchers, the parachutes ready. [laughs] You gotta understand, Cam's got a brain like an elephant. He'll remember what you wore going all the way back to the third grade in school. You do not want to mess with Killa. Jim is like, man, I call him Jungle Jim. You never know where he's going, he's always somewhere with a force. And Juelz is just so strong and powerful that his words could knock the skin off of people. Diplomats, I love my crew and I'm glad we're all back."

***SMFH. Still can't believe doggies got fooled by Chris Brown. LOL. Anyway, doggies. It's the weekend grind right about now and if y'all are like me, you're shoveling the rest of this unexpected snow from your whip. LOL. F*cking snow in the spring? What the h*ll is this, Canada? Anyway doggies, really get down with that Cap Diss prize. Trying to get my cousin to submit some sh*t in Cap Diss, so I can jack the watch from him. LOL. Keep ya heads up doggies, catch y'all on the flip side!***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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