Pulse Report: Dr. Dre Beats Up 50 Cent's Pride, Nicki Minaj's Glam Kills Lil Kim, Drake Gets Top Billing

Friday, Feb 18, 2011 12:20PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we check how Dr. Dre can't hear 50 Cent, pity Lil Kim's latest attempts to destroy Nicki Minaj, give Drake a standing ovation for his headline-snatching week and oh SOHH much more!

1. Sleek Attack

D*mn doggies! First off, let me pay a delayed special Valentine's Day shout-out to all of the lovely ladies who check in on the top doggy every week, especially Amber Rose's Rosa Acosta's sexy a**. LOL. Anyway though, back to some hard sh*t, what in the h*ll is 5-0 Cent up to these days, doggies? I mean, G-Unit is a lost cause, his movies are barely making it to straight-to-DVD and NO DOGGY cares when or if his next album is ever dropping. Black Magic, any doggy? SMH. But this has to be the most pitiful attempt at publicity since his a** tried to hook in Rick Ross back in 2009. Calling out the big wigs at Interscope Records. Jimmy Iovine? Dr. Dre? WTF?

"Jimmy iovine and dre mad at me cause I'm doing sleek by 50," Fif tweeted Monday (February 14).
"I guess I'm not going to be on detox Lol."
"I'm a little hurt jimmy and dre feel like that but f*ck it. I'm focused I got a surprise for everybody this go round."
"Would you faint if I told you I just wrote a verse about jimmy and dre. Oh my god this is hard. This sh*t gonna kill"
"Okok I'm done talkin bout jimmy n dre, I love them, they hate me, so what?...f*ck it. Lol" (50 Cent's Twitter)

^ SMFH. I'm not even gonna lie to y'all doggies, I don't know what to think about this sh*t. Because every diss 5-0 makes, believe it or not, there's some truth behind it. But come the h*ll on, like Jimmy Iovine/Dr. Dre are really sweating his punk a** over some "Sleek By 50" headphones? LMFAO!!! Yeah, OK, you're right. LOL. Now if that ain't some bullsh*t, then I don't know what is. But even before we could take this sh*t serious, turns out 5-0 got a call from his real daddy telling him to cut out the bullsh*t.

50 Cent50 Cent, Jimmy Iovine

"Jimmys not mad at me any more we kicked it. I just have to talk to DRE now. http://plixi.com/p/77722417," 50 tweeted February 15th evening. (50 Cent's Twitter)

^ SMFH!!! WTF? You couldn't even let the "beef" last longer than 24 hours, 5-0? Really? REALLY? LOL. But even though I "Zzzzzzzzzzz'ed" my way through this silly game, I did find Dr. Dre's response to this funny as h*ll. LOL.

Dr. Dre totally DISSED his former protege 50 Cent in Los Angeles the other night ... maybe ... possibly ... OK, we're really not sure -- but it's all on tape!!!! Here's the back story -- 50 went on a Twitter tirade this week, claiming Dre HATES him because he's launching a line of headphones to compete with Dre's "Beats" line. But when we asked Dre about the beef out in front of Boa Steakhouse in Hollywood Tuesday night ... Dre simply replied, "I never heard of his headphones." DISS!!!!!!!!!!!! (maybe). (TMZ)

^ LMFAO!!!!!! OK, so here is what we have learned, doggies. For starters, 5-0 is full of sh*t. By him saying this wild a** sh*t on Twitter, Jimmy's kid probably told him 5-0 was saying what he said. Jimmy calls up 5-0 and tells him to cut the bullsh*t out. Next up? TMZ gets at Dre who, and y'all can argue for days with me on this sh*t, says he doesn't know anything about 5-0's headphones. End of story. Sorry, 5-0, but you're not that hot. Think about it, seriously doggies. What does 5-0 do that is successful? His interviews aren't even entertaining anymore, let alone any of his business ventures. Show me where his G-Unit clothing is. Show me how good G-Note Records is gonna do. Prove to me that he can find his a** back in Forbes Top 5 next year. H*ll, maybe Top 10! Until then, don't get gassed up over this out-of-proportion bullsh*t.

2. Bloody Friday

LOL. Don't worry doggies, the headline ain't a reference to a tampon. LMFAO! Anyway though, so looks like Lil Kim is trying to really piggy back her a** back into this rap sh*t courtesy of Nicki Minaj, huh? For starters, she's been going on a media frenzy and looking like the female version of Jaz-O. She can't even do an interview without spending 3/4's of the time talking about how Nicki Minaj is "jacking" her and "dissing" her. SMFH. OK, OK, OK! Got it! So all this dissing and putting out a Black Friday diss three months after Nicki's album dropped? FOR WHAT!?

Lil KimNicki Minaj

"Thanks to you guys!! #lilkimblackfridaymixtape sold 113,000 copies in 28 hours which made me the #1 seller on paypal ever =) !!! THANK U! RT," she tweeted February 15th.
"Sorry 4 the link issue too many hits shut the paypal system DOWN! LOL. We BACK #LilKimBlackFridayMixtape Buy Now! ---> http://bit.ly/gLIYa6" (Lil Kim's Twitter)

Even though I rarely agree with Minaj, I gotta admit. BULLSH*T! LMFAO! This doggy is saying she sold over 100K in 28 hours? LOL! Meaning she banked in over $1 million? This coming from a doggy that got her truck repossessed just a few years ago? LMFAO!

Nicki MinajLil Kim

The Harajuku Barbie, who is pictured decapitated on the mixtape's cover, isn't buying it. "Bwaahhhhahhahaha!!!!!!!! *lifeless* *leaves on stretcher* *cant go on*," commented Nicki, later retweeting someone who wrote, "The devil is a liar." Kimmy Blanco, who spent a good portion of Tuesday night as a trending topic on Twitter, already fired back at her nemesis, tweeting, "#twitterbeef This is not beef. Real beef is when someone gets shot 5 minutes later. CHILD PLEASE!!! #toomanytwittergangstas #teamlilkim LEGO." (Rap-Up)

Want to know how much more she failed? Kim actually called up Nicki's ex-manager, Fendi, for this beef sh*t. SMFH. She is only battling herself at this point.

While fans wait for their copy of Lil Kim's Black Friday mixtape in the mail, the Queen Bee drops a video to the title track. The clip opens with a voiceover of the Notorious BIG speaking on his female rap protégé, followed by audio of Diddy Combs commenting on her feud with Nicki Minaj. "I'm the Blueprint you ain't nothing brand new, check your posters and videos you'll always be number two," spits Kim over the instrumental to Pharoahe Monch's "Simon Says," that rhyme an interpolation of a Jay-Z line from his song "Ride or Die" (Vol 2... Hard Knock Life). In the video, executive produced by the man who kick started Nicki's career, her first time manager Fendi. Lil Kim is in battle mode, surrounded by her new crew IRS. A yellow Lamborghini is seen being driven throughout the video as well as a Nicki Minaj lookalike wearing different colored wigs. (MTV)

^ FYI, the video has yet to break 8K just 24 hours since it came out. What the h*ll, Kim? SMFH. And just for the h*ll of it, here's a doggy that should have made "STFU" Honors but I didn't feel like wasting my time with:

Lady LuckNicki Minaj & Lil Kim

"You see, battle rapping breaks my heart," Luck added. "And I'm gonna tell you why. As far as battle rapping is concerned, I look at it on lyrics. Lyricism. How would you put your words together mentally? How did you think about it? I look for all that. And I'm heavy on the battle rapping scene. I go to all the battles and sometimes I see people who win who shouldn't have won, but they did because they were more entertaining. [In terms of] the other person, if you people open up your minds, and listen to what he said, ah man. He ran circles around [the winner]! It all depends on the writer that day and what will happen because if you compare the records they've had so far, and you're basing it off that, I'd say Kim won because Kim done had harder verses. Nicki has more hit record verses but I think Kim's got it when you compare them." (SOHH)

^ SMFH. Let's point out some sh*t, REAL QUICK, doggies. First off, Nicki Minaj is what, 26, 27 years old? She's under 30. Kim? NO. Nicki Minaj sold over a million copies of her debut just weeks after its release in 2011. Doggies, 2011!!!!!!!! Lil Kim? NO. That 1996 sh*t sold copies b/c Biggie was on the cuts. So stop it. Minaj has made magazine covers, a sh*tload of guest features, made non-rap hits, has ventures outside of hip-hop and is the biggest star out right now. So the more Kim talks, the more she is killing herself. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it. The IRS? LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You lose, KIM!

3. Doggy of the Week: Drake

Here we go doggies, I can't even lie, Drake got this sh*t on lock for this week. Easy. Even though @sohhdotcom didn't let me use that photo of Drake "TRYING" to give backshots to Rihanna at the Grammys last week for Cap Diss, a grip more sh*t went down. We'll kick it off with Drake being in the midst of yet another kind of bidding war. The move from Young Money to Roc Nation? Oh sh*t! Then, if that wasn't enough, doggy got the West on his back speaking up for his "L" at the Grammys. Just because this week is about quality over quantity, we're gonna top this sh*t off with Drake showing why Lil Wayne ain't nothing. LOL. Applaud the latest "Doggy of the Week," doggies!

1. Roc Money

drake-jay-z-2011-02-12-300x300.jpgDrake & Lil Wayne

According to a member of YOUNG MONEY, Drake would like to LEAVE the label . . . and join his friend J Cole over at Jay Z's ROC NATION label. The insider explained, "Drake likes making music with [Lil Wayne] and the rest, but he's a different dude. There's a lot of hood [ish] that goes down at Young Money, and Drake's not a hood [dude], so he wants to be away from that."MediaTakeOut.com's insider goes on, "Drake's mother is also worried . . . She doesn't want him around gangs or drugs." And it gets better. MediaTakeOut.com learned that JAY Z is pulling strings - to try and [buy] Drake's contract from Bryan "Baby" Williams - Cash Money's CEO. The insider explained, "[Jay] is playing hardball, he wants Drake and he's not trying to pay too much for him. He's moving in slowly. Right now he's working [behind the scenes] on Drake's tour. Under Drake's current deal [with Cash Money], Drake owes them records, but not tours." (Media Take Out)

LMFAO! Why the h*ll do I feel like I'm the only doggy that believes MediaTakeOut is still a legit site? See, the sh*tty problem is that it's one of those "Boy Who Cried Wolf" situations. They have put up some bullsh*t back in the day and so everything gets looked at as suspect as h*ll. But y'all can't say they're just making this sh*t up! I believe a large a** portion of the sh*t they write has some truth to it. And don't get it f*cked up, just b/c Drake and his rep denied the allegation, you can't tell me this just came up out of nowhere. No f*cking way. Guess in the long run though, Drake would never get an album out at Roc Nation, or maybe after J. Cole and Jay Electronica. SMFH.

2. F*ck A Grammy

DrakeGame

"Drake aint win BEST NEW ARTIST ? Exactly why I'm kool on awards. (finishes rolling weed up as I turn the tv off).," Game tweeted Sunday (February 13) night.
"You wouldn't care about AWARDS if you seen the people giving em'. "WHO DA F*CK ARE Y'ALL" ( @drakkardnoir voice ) cheated the homie. (Game's Twitter)

D*mn, doggies. Did y'all even bother with the Grammys last weekend? LOL. Yeah, neither did I but just like any awards show, you see all the sh*t that went down. I still can't get over Drake faking his pipe game on Rihanna's semi-nice a** and then runing on stage AWAY from it. SMFH. Anyway though, turns out Justin Bieber wasn't the only doggy who got snubbed on "Best New Artist." Look at Game coming to Drake's defense. Call the butterfly-tatted doggy bi-polar as h*ll, which he is, but that's a big a** co-sign right there.

3. You Ain't The Boss Of Me

DrakeLil Wayne

Regardless of his plans for a romantic holiday, Drake said that he's focused on his love for the music and probably won't be added to Lil Wayne's all-star I Am Music II Tour. "I've been touring since last March so I'm just going to take time and make my album," he explained. However, the MC said that fans can expect him to make some surprise appearances on the 24-city trek. "But there's always those nights where you get that itch to go and join those legends like Nicki and Wayne and Ross onstage, so you'll see me out there, but I'm just trying to take care of the people," he confessed. (MTV)

LMFAO!!! Doggy, what the h*ll!?!?! Forget all the other sh*t that gives Drake "Doggy of the Week," just look at this! Think back to maybe 2004, 2005, would 5-0 Cent ever go on a tour without Lloyd Banks, Tony Yayo or Young Buck? H*ll no! The fact Drake missed the first "I Am Music" tour b/c of that sprained ankle and now he doesn't want to go on this one b/c he's TIRED!?!?! LMFAO!!!! Bullsh*t! What I don't get is how the h*ll is Wayne Drake's boss and letting him NOT go? WTF? Some sh*t ain't looking, sounding or smelling right. If y'all ask me, Media Take Out has some sh*t right. There's some funky sh*t smoking up in YM.

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Vanessa Veasley

Now stop it doggies. Y'all know the past two weeks were more than y'all could have ever imagined. Two Mrs. Butterworths per each week? LOL. Greedy a** doggies! Well, we're making a return to normalcy by featuring something a little bit sweet, a little bit juicy and a little bit perfect. Doggies, take off your got d*mn fitted caps, button up those button ups, and tuck in the laces to your J's as we lay down the red carpet to the lovely Vanessa Veasley.

Vanessa VeasleyVanessa Veasley

Vanessa VeasleyVanessa Veasley

Vanessa VeasleyVanessa Veasley

^ LOL. Come the h*ll on doggies, on some 2015 sh*t right there. Beyond comprehension. Just appreciate the vivid a** details and be sure to give props to the hot a**, literally, DynastySeries.com which is supplying these photos for our filthy a** pleasures. LOL. Need more to quench y'all thirsts, doggies? Yeah, I know those tails are still wagging. LOL.

^ I think y'all are pretty content with being back to the old routine. LOL.

5. "STFU" Honors: Valentine's Day Edition

SMH. I know doggies, V-Day was about four days ago but use your imagination and don't be a**holes. With this little love-themed feature, this week, we're gonna see how whipped T.I. is to Miss Piggy Tiny, shake our d*mn heads at how silly Saigon and Lloyd sound talking about their V-Day dream dates, look at Uncle Luke wanting to tap tax some a** and then round it out with Drake just killing himself with the b*tcha**ness. LOL. Doggies, welcome back to "SHUT THE F*CK UP" Honors!

1. T.I.

T.I. & TinyT.I. And Tiny

"When the world has turned on me and there is darkness all around, she finds a way to bring light in my life and provide positive energy in the face of some of the most extreme circumstances. As long as we have us, f*ck da world....nothing else really matters. I'd lay my life down for her and wouldn't blink about it. In my eyes, she's the most beautiful woman inside and out. I wouldn't trade her for all the sun on the beach. As much as I've done wrong in life, I'm convinced that I must've done something right to deserve a woman as great as her. And I'll forever do all I can to continue to show my undying love and appreciation."

2. Saigon

SaigonKeri Hilson

"If I could choose any lady in the world for Valentine's Day, it would be Keri Hilson," Sai revealed. "Tell her I said that. [laughs] Tell her I love her. I love Keri Hilson. [Women like her] always say they like bad boys until they call and ask them for bail money. [laughs] Where would I take her for our date? Hmmm. Where would I take Keri Hilson on Valentine's Day? I'd take her to the pad, man. We're going to the crib just in case I don't get this opportunity again. So I would try to seal the deal. One night, one shot, one kill. Tell her she's on my mind all the time."

3. Lloyd

LloydRihanna

"Yeah, I'd take Rihanna to the sex store," Lloyd jokingly revealed. "Nah [seriously], I'd take Rihanna to the adult story so she could pick out a toy since she likes s&m so much. You know."

4. Uncle Luke

Uncle LukeVideo Vixen

"If we do a stripper tax - take that money, set it aside, and have it go directly to youth programs as well as battered women programs that have been cut back - I would think that the strippers and exotic dancers will be happy about that, because they'll see their money going to something that's good."

5. Drake

Drake & Nicki MinajRihanna & Drake

"I think something private," Drake revealed in an interview when asked about his dream date. "I would love to go out for a great dinner -- I would love to laugh. I like candles. I enjoy incense. I enjoy things that smell nice. I enjoy passionate kisses and massages and things of that nature. I like Valentine's Day. Every day is Valentine's Day!"

***Just some quick notes, doggies. Looks like we're going back to a few CONTEST PRIZES in Caption Diss. I know next week we're gonna have an Eddie Griffin DVD prize. Actually, his camp is giving SOHH FIVE copies of the DVD to giveaway, so prepare for that. Doggies, FIVE COPIES!? FIVE WINNERS. So don't snub at this once-in-a-lifetime to have a wack a** diss and likely win. SMH. Got a few tricks up my sleeve, myself, doggies. LOL. Aight, gotta put some money up on this All-Star Game, EAST WINS ALL! Watch, doggies! I'm out. Oh yeah, Dwayne Wade gets the East MVP, too. LOL. Aight, NOW I'm out! --BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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