Pulse Report: Eminem's "Syllables" Are Broken, Chris Brown & R&B Stars Know What's Beef, Jay-Z Gets His Props

Friday, Dec 31, 2010 12:30PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we head into 2011 by saying good-bye to Eminem's over-gassed super collaboration, notice how the new year might show Chris Brown and other R&B cats going harder than rappers, respect Jay-Z as the top "Doggy" and oh SOHH much more!

1. The Hoax

LOL, sorry doggies, but we're not talking about that Suge Knight and Tupac Shakur arrest situation. LOL. Instead, we're going to officially get ready for 2011 by considering what has to be one of the biggest f*cking let downs of the year. Seriously. Now peep the run-down: Eminem. Jay-Z. 5-0 Cent. Dr. Dre. F*ck a three-headed monster, these doggies (minus 5-0 of course) all on the same record? SMFH. D*mn. All that's missing is some ad-libs from either Q-Tip or Nas. LOL. Anyway though, turns out a little birdie named Big Mike let the dog out the house and had the Internet thirsty this week:

Big Mike says Eminem featuring Dr. Dre, 50 Cent, and Jay-Z's "Syllables" will be leaking soon! He tweeted the following message on his Twitter page. "eminem feat dr dre 50 cent and jay z-syllables(prod by dr dre) guess we gotta start the new year off rite huh?," Mike tweeted Tuesday (December 27). DJ Big Mike is allegedly responsible for leaking Eminem's Crack A Bottle track. Instead of 3-Headed Monster... can you imagine the 4-Headed Monster!

Now I usually do not get caught up in all the bogus a**-ness associated with rumors, but when my cousin texted me that this "could" really be going down, I became a f*cking hip-hop groupie all over again. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but when is the last time Eminem and Jay-Z did a track together? "Renegade?" And even though I really care less about anything associated with 5-0 Cent, take away that Reebok freestyle and wack a** "I Get Money (Remix)" they did back in 2007 and when's the last time you heard Jay-Z and 5-0 on wax? Better than all of that is Dr. Dre included in the mix? Say what y'all want, but that "Kush" sh*t was fire and since by the looks of things, Eminem and Jay-Z would have likely penned his verse, I can't even begin to imagine what this sh*t would sound like. Surely enough though, doggies, a let down was sure to take place:

^ SMFH. And it's not so much me being upset at the quality of the record, although, the beat sounded more like an early 2000's, The Eminem Show-type instrumental, but it's the fact that as soon as you heard Cashis AND Stat Quo, you knew this sh*t was outdated. C'mon son, Stat Quo on a record with Em? SMFH. And even if you weren't convinced it was outdated, then just listen to what the lyrics were. Dr. Dre saying Jay's last album? WTF? Eminem talking about TRL? 5-0 saying, 'Go Shorty, It's Your Birthday?' WTF?

Jay-Z And Eminem50-cent-dr-dre-2010-09-02-300x300.jpg

The Dre-produced track takes shot after shot at bland lyricism and dumbed-down rap, condemning MCs who only focus on a "hot beat and a catchy hook" and ultimately mocking pop-rappers by inserting their own cheeky "R&B" hook. You Heard That New dates parts of the song back to 2007, and with 50 referencing "In Da Club" and Em's less-than-timely blast on Ashley Simpson ("And how do we adapt and get TRL votes when 13-year olds control the remote and Ashley's got a brand new nose") it'd be hard to figure this as an entirely fresh cut.

Of course though, it was kinda dope hearing the explanations from Stat Quo and Cashis (who were probably the easiest targets since they have nothing going on with their careers and felt like aiming for free press. SMFH.

Stat QuoCashis

"That song wit me jay z,dre, 50,& cashis leaked. Let me say off top I had nothing to do with it...however; I am gonna get some p*ssy off it.," Stat tweeted Wednesday (December 29).
"'Syllables' was cut a couple of years ago, around the end of 2007," Cash revealed in an interview. "I think it was going to be for one of Em's albums or Detox. When we first recorded it, the hook wasn't even the same. It went something like 'Happy Birthday...' But when I heard it this time, I thought it was ridiculous and even better...I laid my part at Dre's studio with Stat, 50, and Em. I heard that Jay had just left when I got there. Fif' was there kicking his verse in another room when I did mine. I was more so excited than intimidated because I already had held my own with Em, and I think they believed in me this time. After I kicked my verse, Em, Dre, and 50 all said it was dope. That was the cosign I needed. I learned more from that session than any other before that."

^ SMFH. I guess it won't be long before somebody gets 5-0 to mention it on Twitter, or Eminem talks about it on Shade 45 or Jay-Z shouts it out at his New Year's Eve party tonight or Dr. Dre, while autographing some BEATS by Dre headphones talks about it. SMFH. D*mn, how the h*ll does such a big a** song get played out so fast? Oh yeah, b/c it's as authentic as the Knight/2Pac arrest story. SMFH. Yes, doggies, it was only appropriate to begin and end the first post with a nod to that. LOL.

2. The Justice League

LMFAO! Doggies, I'm going to be super fast on this sh*t right here b/c I'm still in disbelief. When the h*ll did R&B "SINGERS" start going harder than RAPPERS? LOL. If this past week has shown me anything, it's that these song-chirping doggies are going way harder than your favorite rapper. Up first, Chris Brown and Little Rascal Raz-B? Oh sh*t!

Round 1: Chris Brown Defeats Raz-B


"@Chrisbrown Do you hit your boyfriend @andre_merritt like you do your women?," Raz tweeted Wednesday (December 29) evening.
"@chrisbrown I luv how u resort 2 disrespectful low brow tactics when u clearly sabotaged ur own career by beating women!"

Chris Brown

"@razb2k n*gga you want attention! Grow up n*gga!!! D*ck in da booty a** lil boy," Brown wrote back.
"Tell me this @razb2k!! Why when the money was coming in u won't complaining about getting butplugged! #homothug!!!"
"I ain't deleting my tweet either!! I was minding my d*mn business and Peter pan decides to pop off!!! # whatalame"
"I'm not mad though!!! I'm just not silent nor am i one of these scary R&B cats!!"

^ Sorry doggies, but when you have admitted that your "penis" was sucked and you were molested, then there is nothing you can say in an argument to win. If anything, Raz should have "STFU" instead of setting himself up. Got d*mn that was brutal, and y'all only saw the PG-13 version of their beef. I read those tweets. I see why SOHH didn't put them all on their site. D*mn!

Round 2: Keri Hilson Bodies Ciara

Keri HilsonCiara

Keri Hilson stirred up some controversy with her remarks aboutCiara. In an interview with Power 105.1 on Wednesday (December 22), Keri was asked if she was nervous about releasing her album, No Boys Allowed. "I would like to [sell] higher than 35k - I mean anyone would," said Keri referring to Ciara's CD Basic Instinct which sold 37,000 copies last week. "I saw a quote where [Ciara] said it's not all about the numbers and I'm not really a chart reader. I don't look at charts. It's probably what she honestly feels," said Keri.

^ I've been telling y'all this since day one. Men lie, women lie and so do those got d*mn numbers. Just ask Lloyd Banks. LOL. Nah, j/k. We all know if your numbers are below 50-75K in your first-week, it's a wrap. Long story short, Keri kept sh*t on the humble by sneak-dissing Ciara and still got over 100K sold in her own first week. D*mn, Ciara, your goodies are expired, huh? LOL.

Round 3: Pleasure B Defeats...EVERYONE

Pleasure PBlogger

"i should leak a record off the new album i just cant stand wack music if i leak it how many of yall gone download it? im killin these n*ggaz," P tweeted Wednesday (December 28).
"mutha f*ckas talking bout let it go i aint letting sh*t go half the world think im something that im not yall dont know what that feels like"
"i had a year to prepare for war now war is about to begin if n*ggaz thought it was over they got another thing coming hahahahahahaha"

^ I'm not even touching that one. No pun intended, either. LMFAO.

Y'all tell me, what the h*ll is going on in R&B? If I recall correctly, looks like Jamie Foxx, Keri Hilson, Rihanna and Keyshia Cole are all selling units too. D*mn, has hip-hop gone soft? Where's Kat Stacks when we need her. LOL.

3. Doggy of the Week: Jay-Z

Three weeks strong, doggies, and "Doggy of the Week" inducts Jay-Z. Just to refresh y'all's memories, we had Rick Ross holding it down and then Waka Flocka Flame, so it was only right the "King" nah, f*ck that, the "Best Rapper Alive" get some early "Doggy" status. The best way to describe the reasons behind Jay's status in here is simple: "Men lie, women lie, but numbers don't."

1. The Million Dollar Doggy


Jay-Z will earn big bucks this New Year's Eve, by performing at a private party. Next Friday (December 31), the rapper will entertain 2,500 party-goers in Las Vegas, at the Cosmopolitan Resort and Casino, for which he'll earn $1 million for his appearance. Jay will be joined by his wife Beyonce - although Knowles won't be singing at the glitzy event.

^ Bottom line, doggies, if you're getting paid a million bucks to do some raps, then you're caking up mighty fine. It's one thing to be called one of the richest doggies in the world but when you see something that reads: "Jay-Z Earns $1 Mil For New Year's Gig" then you can't simply name another doggy that's eating like Hov. Point. Blank. Period.

2. I Got Paper To Spend, Doggy


Beyonce got some sweet gifts yesterday. Her husband, Jay-Z, was spotted shopping at Hermes' plush Madison Avenue boutique on Christmas Eve. A spy reports, "Jay was in a private room of Hermes doing last-minute shopping. He had a guard standing watch outside. He spent $350,000 on Birkin bags, among other things." The buying binge took so long, Jay-Z missed his scheduled lunch at Nello, prompting the restaurateur to deliver his food to the store. Jay-Z has plenty to spend -- he's getting $1 million to perform at the opening of the Cosmopolitan hotel and casino in Vegas on New Year's Eve. His rep declined to comment.

^ OK, so maybe Kobe Bryant is spending millions on his wife's rings and 5-0 Cent might be putting thousands into his wack a** car, but when you are spending $350K like it's nothing on wifey for X-Mas in just a couple hours, SMFH, all other doggies lose.

3. My Wife Makes More $$$ Than Me, Doggy

beyonce-2010-12-28-300x300.jpgJay-Z & Beyonce

The R&B/pop star's estimated 2010 earnings of $87 million were enough to make her the highest-ranking musician on the list, at No. 9. Britney Spears came in at No. 13 with $64 million netted over the past year, while Lady Gaga closely followed at No. 14 with $62 million earned. Other musical artists who made the bottom half of the list include Madonna (No. 15 with $58 million), Miley Cyrus (No. 18 with $48 million) and Taylor Swift (No. 19 with $45 million). Oprah Winfrey easily snagged the top spot on the list with a whopping $315 million netted in 2010, while "Avatar" director James Cameron came in second with $210 million.

D*mn. $87 million in 12 months? WTF?!?!?! It's always impressive when you're caking up but when you're Bonnie and Clydin' this sh*t? They win. We lose.

4. The Justice League Doggies

Seems like 2010 was the year of the posse cut. Kanye West served them best with his weekly G.O.O.D. Music tracks. But just in time to end the year off right, Eminem drops a previously unreleased track called "Syllables," a slow-riding banger featuring Jay-Z, Dr. Dre, and 50 Cent. But don't expect this to be a radio-friendly joint. "Syllables" blasts just that. "It is not about lyrics anymore. It's about a hot beat and a catchy hook," Em says before going into his verse about having to "dumb down" today's music for the kids who control the market. Jay and Dre both echo Em's sentiment in equally acid-tongued fashion.

^ Old or new, it doesn't matter. Jay-Z is featured on the hottest song out right now. And quote me doggies, he has the BEST verse out of everyone on here. Challenge me doggies!

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Suelyn Medeiros

Feliz Navidad! LOL! Oh sh*t, my bad doggies, for a second I thought it was X-Mas Eve again. Why you might ask? Well, simply b/c of today's Mrs. Butterworth. It is with great respect and juicy love that I introduce y'all to Suelyn Medeiros. Now if this doesn't bring jolly and joy into your lives, then you're just in need of some hardcore porn. So keep it moving. But for the rest of the doggies who prefer dessert over main entrees, feast your eyes on this sweet treat:

Suelyn MedeirosSuelyn Medeiros

Suelyn MedeirosSuelyn Medeiros

Suelyn MedeirosSuelyn Medeiros

Still hungry for more? SMFH. Well, kick off the new year with this. Thank me later, doggies, please, thank me later.

^ Maybe not Mrs. Butterworth of the Year, but Miss Sue is a top runner. D*mn, d*mn, double d*mn. That's hot.

5. "STFU" Honors

D*mn, doggies. I am really honored. Not sure if y'all peeped it but last week, SOHH honored the top doggy, me b*tches, with a top "STFU" Moments of 2010. LOL. Well, I could have went with this week's best choices like Redman saying him and Joe Budden are carrying NJ on their backs, Young Chris saying Rico Love is better than Jay-Z, Nottz calling Soulja Boy the new Vanilla Ice, Foxy Brown copping out of her Lil Kim diss and the senseless sh*t that Gunplay said......instead, I'm going to pay the homage back to SOHH and re-feature the best of the best.

1. Drag-On Almost Gets Robbed & Brags About It (October 25)

"I just came from the motherf*cking store trying to cop a dutch, b*tch a** n*ggas trying to rob me and all that," Drag said in a self-recorded video. "See the little bullsh*t a** chain, see my watch, my ring. N*ggas ain't get nothing though! You see the little bullsh*t scratch, here and there, and all of that though. N*ggas tried to rob me but they ain't get sh*t! Straight up and down. Soon as a n*gga step right up, boop, bop, bop, bop! N*ggas tried to jump on me and all that. N*ggas is p*ssy, straight up dog. One of them n*ggas tried to rob me and all that. Right now. But you know what? You n*ggas ain't get sh*t."

2. Lloyd Banks' "H.F.M.2." Doesn't Match The Hype (September 10)

Lloyd BanksLloyd Banks (Hunger For More 2)

"That's my problem now is having too many records," Banks explained in an interview about his upcoming Hunger For More 2 album. "It's definitely not a problem with not having enough. But I definitely want to get in -- hopefully we can get in there with Kanye [West] too. You never know what'll come out. 'On Fire' was the last record I recorded [for Hunger For More] but it was the first single I released, so, sometimes its works that way. I don't want to cut my own self off until the deadline hits. You never know what's gonna happen."

3. Lil Kim's Got Nicki Minaj's Social Security Card, Huh? (November 6)

"I got more love for Queens than this b*tch do," Kim said at a Queens, New York concert. "I will erase this b*tch's social security number. First of all I don't even need a record right now and I'd kill that b*tch with my old sh*t. I'll kill that b*tch with my old sh*t...Right now I'm in Queens, repping, because I got love for all the boroughs. Y'all see me in places where y'all be like, 'How the f*ck she there?' I touch my people -- like I said, I got a catalogue, this catalogue p*ssy. I'll kill this b*tch with my old sh*t. My records ain't just enter the charts, they made history. What the f*ck is this bullsh*t, this sh*t come and go. What the f*ck, is you kidding me? ... We gonna get back to partying, I just want to let y'all know, right, I don't ever let nothing take me off my grind..."

4. DMX Gives Jay-Z More Than A Bark (November 15)

"Y-O, Y-O in this b*tch, n*gga," X told a crowd of Arizona fans. "New York to AZ, New York to AZ, n*ggas must be crazy, f*ck Jay-Z! Ya heard? Ya heard? ... What do y'all think is the state of the rap industry right now? I mean, you know, I'm an artist so I kind of have bias views but I think most these n*ggas suck! I think they not only suck, but they suck d*ck! I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, we're real people. Most of us got jobs -- but you got these n*ggas talking about Bentleys, mansions and pool parties, we don't rock that sh*t son! So my take on it is, you got Patron in your cup? Good for you! You got a b*tch that wanna f*ck? Good for you! You sittin' on 24's? Good for you! You got Lamborghini doors? Good for you! Because at the end of the day? I ain't got that sh*t..."

5. MC Hammer Ignores Jay-Z's History (November 8)

Jay-Z & MC HammerRappers Can Act Too

"At the end of the day he's just another rapper," Hammer said in an interview about Jay. "Let me frame it for you, he's just another man. I think that phrase is better. At the end of the day he's just another man. Men still gotta be men. He's not above being addressed...I feel victorious because my point was awareness of the issues. In anything that you are doing, the messaging is important, at least if that's what your goal is. My goal was - two main issues. One - in the last five/six years however many it has been, you have taken the position that my faith is joke. That my faith is something that you can use in my videos and something that you just wanna dress the walls up with. Run a quick photo by it of Jesus with bullet holes on the side of it."

^ LMFAO!!!!!!!!!

***Doggies, it's been one h*ll of a year and even though there has been some bullsh*t here and there in HIP-HOP, we've been through it all together. We got some dope a** contest prizes in Cap Diss, even got the section posted on the homepage too, and Pulse Report has seen the official induction of "STFU" Honors, Mrs. Butterworth and now, Doggy of the Week. Only time will tell what the future holds but thank y'all for always f*cking with me, through the good and bad. Here's to 2011, doggies! -BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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