Pulse Report: DMX & Ja Rule Get Slammed, Diddy's "Train" Crashes, Dr. Dre Earns A Top Spot

Friday, Dec 17, 2010 1:00PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we watch DMX and Ja Rule trying to T.I. and Lil Wayne their way back into the game, Diddy's solid a** Last Train to Paris derails, Dr. Dre earn his "Doggy of the Week" props and oh SOHH much more!

1. Exit Wounds

Maybe it's just me doggies but DMX and Ja Rule both heading to jail really makes me think of some Shakespearean sh*t. LOL. The doggies that were kinda at the top of their games 10 years ago are literally at the worst of their game. I mean, d*mn. It really doesn't get worse that you no longer having a buzz and to top it off, your a** is headed to jail? SMFH. Sad sh*t is X is "ONLY" doing 12 months....Ja Rule is doing 2 YEARS? WTF? Well, for the doggies that ain't up on things and are like me, doing a sh*tload of undergraduate graduate exams, find out what went down this week:

DMX, who was arrested for a probation violation in Arizona last month, was sentenced to a year in prison on the charge this morning -- his sixth stint behind bars in the state. The MC said late last month that a sip of alcohol during one of his concerts led to his arrest on multiple charges, including probation violation, failure to submit to drug testing and several drug charges.

^ SMFH. Y'all really can't feel sorry for X at this point. He is a habitual f*ck up. It's really to the point where you wonder if it's gonna be the drugs or the......d*mn, drugs, that's gonna lay his a** to rest for good. SMFH. Now if I had to be a gambling man, I'd say X is most likely the "bad" version of T.I. in the legal sense. Some doggies just become f*ck ups and even if it was "just a sip" of some alcohol, his a** should have known the extremes. As T.I. serves out those 11 months, best believe X will be in his Arizona pink suit wondering what the f*ck happened to his life. SMFH.

On a more serious note, Ja Rule was a shocker to me. Yeah, we saw those few gun stories that he had popping up every now and again throughout the year, but for this sh*t to crash down like it did? SMFH.

Wearing dark-blue jeans and a black sweater, the rapper said "guilty" and answered yes to a judge's questions in a low voice. "Because of your guilty plea here today, you'll have a record of having committed a violent felony. This is a very serious matter," Manhattan state Supreme Court Justice Richard Carruthers told the rapper. Ja Rule's lawyer, Stacey Richman, had no immediate comment. Specifically, the rapper admitted to a charge that involves attempting to have a loaded gun outside one's home or workplace. Ja Rule was promised two years in prison when he is sentenced in February.

^ D*mn. The real sad sh*t about this is that Ja didn't even try to fight it. Like, why did it take this long for him to settle for 24 months? Hmmm......could it have been b/c Lil Wayne served out his bid and came out a bigger celebrity than before he went in? SMFH. The sh*t doggies will do for a little fame. Yeah, quote me, I think Ja took the half-a** way out and sacrificed some time in hopes of getting the fans to f*ck with him again. We're talking RuleThanxYou sh*ts, Funkmaster Flex jail phoners, hand-written sh*ts being photo scanned by Cadillac Tah, LMFAO, and a whole rack of other sh*t from his camp. And doggies, sorry, but I ain't even gonna waste time with those bullsh*t tweets that 5-0 Cent sent mocking Ja. Yeah, funny how after Lloyd Banks' Hunger For More 2 bullsh*t flopped, 5-0 didn't say sh*t. But when this pops off, it's all a joke? SMFH. NO COMMENT, doggies.

2. Planes, Trains & Automobiles

Flop. Flop. Flop. Maybe it isn't to y'all but finding out Diddy's Last Train to Paris album is looking to push out just over 60K had me wondering what the f*ck is going on with the industry. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Diddy/Dirty Money have a sh*tload MORE hot singles than T.I.'s wack a** No Mercy? SMFH. And remember, No Mercy pushed out 159K in a week. Easy. So, WTF?

DiddyDiddy (Last Train To Paris)

Epic's MICHAEL, the late superstar's second official posthumous release (after last year's This Is It soundtrack), hit retail Tuesday, and first-week sales estimates are now between 225-250k for the album. Estimates for R. Kelly's typically salacious Love Letter are in the 150-160k range, which would beat most industry forecasts, as the veteran R&B superstar tends to do. Next highest debut comes from Bad Boy/Interscope's Diddy/Dirty Money, the latest project from P. Diddy, which would seem to be in the 60-65k range.

^ D*mn, even Dirty Money gave doggies 5 dope a** reasons to stop being Scrooges and put up $10 for the LP. SMFH.

Dirty MoneyDiddy (Last Train To Paris)

"The biggest reason you should go out and buy this album is because it's a new movement that people are ready for. Music is changing and Dirty Money is the new movement that everybody wants to get on."
"The next biggest reason is because it's fresh and dope and has banging features on there."
"I think the third biggest reason is that this is something new for Puff. He's going down in history whether we like it and love it or don't like it and don't love it."
"The fourth biggest reason for us is because this is the first time you've seen two brown sisters together in a long time. I'm talking about since Changing Faces. There hasn't been a group of brown girls rocking with another powerful brown man and having a positive message in a long time."
"The last reason you should go out and buy this album is because this was our dream to do this."

^ Sorry, doggies, but with those weak a** reasons, I'd rather listening to my sister's illegally downloaded copy from OnSmash #####. LOL. On some real sh*t, the best thing about this whole Last Train to Paris hype has been how much of a dumb a** Diddy has been portraying himself to be. The best, best, best sh*t though? This video right here. LMFAO!!!!!

Diddy is known for some crazy parties -- but this one went down in flames -- particularly for a model whose hair ignited. It all went down while the rapper was celebrating the release of Diddy-Dirty Money's new album, "Last Train to Paris," in a 2,500 square foot penthouse at the London on Tuesday -- with USTREAM catching all the action......Things got scary when the model leaned back over a candle, and flames started shooting from her hair and out of the bathtub, on the edge of which Fabolous and Trey Songz were perched. As seen in a Ustream video of the event, the panicked beauty screamed and dunked her head in the water. "Oh, oh, oh [bleep!]" screamed Diddy's hype man, Kevin Hart, over the mike. "Did the camera catch that? Did the camera catch that?" "Fab was the first person to see the fire," Hart says in the video. "We put it out as quick as we could, I can honestly say."

^ LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry doggies, but Diddy's Last will really be his last.

3. Doggy of the Week: Dr. Dre

I won't even lie to you, doggies. This week was a paw biter. LOL. At first I had T.I. down and then Lil Wayne literally murdered your favorite rapping doggy with that new "Amili" "6'7" sh*t but then it struck me. No doggy has had the past seven days more on lock than Dr. Dre. He's getting featured on XXL Magazine, easily has the BEST F*CKING MUSIC VIDEO of 2010 with "Kush" (which dropped within the past week), has co-signs coming out the a** and really might be dropping Detox "SOONER" than we think. Doggies, pay homage to this week's "Doggy of the Week," Dr. Dre.

Dr. Dre's "Kush" Video Is The Hottest Thing Smoking Doggy

Interscope released the accompanying video to Dr. Dre's latest single, "Kush," today (Dec. 10) and the clip finds the Doc, alongside featured guests Akon and Snoop Dogg, getting the party started with the flick of a lighter. In the video, Dre, Snoop and Akon are at a nightclub with party-goers that are frozen in place. That is until Dr. Dre takes his lighter to one of the indoor sprinklers and the water wakes the entire crowd up. The best part of the clip? When Dre and Snoop are walking side-by-side down a corridor. Ah, the good ol' days.

^ Doggies, no video out this year with the exception of that "Love the Way You Lie" clip with Eminem and Rihanna can even come close to this sh*t. It's like a 2011 version of The Matrix and you do know this, doggies. Even better? If I was a betting man, I'd say Jay-Z wrote Dre's verse, which makes this sh*t even hotter.

Dr. Dre's 45-Year-Old A** Could Body Yours, Doggies

Dr. DreBlogger

In our in-depth cover story with Dre, from the forthcoming Dec/Jan 2011 issue of XXL, the 45-year-old West Coast legend told our EIC, Vanessa Satten, that he might have to change his birth certificate due to his work in the gym. "I make sure that I take care of myself," he said. "I feel like, now I feel much better--and actually look better, to me--than I did when I was in my early 20s or 30s. I'm definitely healthier now. That has a big part to do with it, just staying healthy. It definitely keeps your confidence up. I've actually had tests on my body, and the doctor said I'm 31. [Laughs] So I'm riding with that sh*t. [Laughs]"

^ I don't give a d*mn if this doggy's on steroids or if he's drinking VitaminWater Formula 5-0 on the regular, Dre could body a beat and your 19 year-old a**es, doggies. LOL. He might not have gone down that LL Cool J route and got the botox done to his face but as far as the upperbody, he's the f*cking black Johnny Bravo. LOL. Pay respects for this doggy probably being single-handedly one of the oldest doggies to ever appear on an XXL cover, too.

Dr. Dre Ain't Worried About Y'all Doggies

Dr. DreAlex Da Kid

"I think a lot of what makes Dr. Dre's Detox [release so anticipated] is because he's such a unique producer," Alex Da Kid told SOHH. "He doesn't do things just because he feels like he has to do them. He's at a point in his career where he can do whatever feels good for him and if he wants to spend 11 years on an album, he can do that...He's definitely a professor and master at what he does, so I think it'll definitely live up to the hype. It's going to mean so much to hip-hop just to get another Dre album, it's something that we all need. It's a good reference for where hip-hop is right now. There's no better person who can tell that story than Dre and that's a good thing."

^ Yeah, y'all see that headline. It's been 11 years and all y'all doggies are still b*tching for Detox so what's that tell you? It might be 20 years before Detox really drops and all you doggies in your 30's will still be thirsty. What's that tell y'all?

Dr. Dre Don't Get Dropped, He Drops Doggies

Dr. Dre & Eminem50-cent-dr-dre-2010-09-02-300x300.jpg

"Yeah, throughout my career, I've always tried to take certain risks," Dre explained. "Even at the beginning, with 'F*ck Tha Police.' I've always tried to take certain risks, and as far as Em goes, I always felt like nobody can deny it's good. I feel like, if I hadn't met Em or we hadn't linked up, he would eventually have become a success anyway. Because he's so talented. I was just fortunate enough to meet him first and open the door for him. As far as the race thing goes, when I heard Em for the first time, I didn't even know he was White. I just knew I wanted to work with him. And that kind of actually made it better for me, because it was so different. As a creator and innovator, nothing can beat that, and that's all I was looking at. It was a new and creative thing that sounds different and looks different, and we got along. We had fun making those records in the early days, and still. We still have the same energy today that we had the first day we went in the studio. And we still have that level of passion for it."

^ F*ck it you're white, black, Spanish, yellow, green, purple. Dr. Dre makes hits and even though he caught some sh*t for Truth Hurts and never putting out Rakim, he's not shook to try different sh*t. Hit or miss, he's down to test the waters.

Dr. Dre's Still A Respected O.G. Doggy

Dr. DreKurupt

"I think it's going to do the same thing the [Chronic 2001] did, it's going to change the game," Kurupt said in an interview referring to Detox. "The one thing you don't play with when it comes to this [rap] game is the doctor. Point blank. Never play with the doctor. The doctor is finna drop something people ain't gonna be able to understand, you understand me? Because he plays no games. He's a stickler. He's a stickler for perfection."

^ It might not mean a lot to y'all but when you're in that veteran status category and still get the respect of some hood rappers you came up with? Well, it's more than Jay-Z can say. LOL.

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Maria Millions

D*mmmmmmmmmn, doggies! Now this sh*t right herrrrrre is enough to make me want to pack up and ship my a** down to Miami. It's amazing to realize that there are girls in this crazy world of ours just camped out in hot spots like Miami. No disrespect to the chicks out here in New York, but Miami is where it's popping!!! Only in MIA can you come up with a Mrs. Butterworth amongst the likes of Maria Millions. SMFH. Sorry doggies, but this ain't no KING Webcam Girl, this is certified VIXEN. Well, I guess this is the point where I say something kinda leading into this week's Mrs. Butterworth but I'll let Maria do the talking:

Maria MillionsMaria Millions

Maria MillionsMaria Millions

Maria MillionsMaria Millions

And for all you doggies who don't believe in that "picture is worth a 1,000 word" bullsh*t, here is some visual holiday candy for you to suck on. Pause.

^ SMFH. D*mn doggies. I hate not being single. FML!!! And for the record, there are way BETTER videos out there to peep, so do your body good and lock your door for about 10 minutes and see what I'm talking about. FYI, you will be bookmarking what you see! LOL!

5. "STFU" Honors

Doggies, we are at it again with my personal favorite section of the Pulse Report, "Shut The F*ck Up" Honors. This is the wrap-up and highlights of the dumbest and most outrageous sh*t said over the past seven days. This week? Well, we'll start things off, doggies, with Tony Yayo practically sucking 5-0 Cent to the bone and not realizing we don't believe him anymore, Soulja Boy making us laugh thinking he would actually stand a chance going at Fabolous on wax.....LMFAO, Ray J getting shook and denying his slick a** dissing of Nicki Minaj, Drake subliminally admitting his Thank Me Later bullsh*t caught an "L", platinum or not, by saying he has to go back to those So Far Gone days....SMFH, make way Lloyd Banks, doggy will be on your level soon, and finally we're gonna wrap things up on a funny tip with Gwyneth Paltrow calling Nicki Minaj a "genius." SMFH..........welcome, again, doggies.....

1. Tony Yayo

Tony Yayo50 Cent

"It was one day we were in the studio and I'll never forget this," Yayo said in an interview. "It was [around the time of] Get Rich or Die Tryin' and Dr. Dre was in the studio. Like I was saying, it was me and my man Weezy and 50, he did ['Heat'], he did 'P.I.M.P.', he did like three songs in one day. And Kanye West was in the studio, I remember that. He was trying to like sing in Sha Money [XL]'s ear. It was just a crazy day that day. Busta [Rhymes] was in the studio, Dre and I remember nobody could mess with this beat. This beat had gun sounds and cocking in [that] Dre made. I remember Busta tried, Rakim [tried] and 50 got on and just killed it. It was one of my favorite experiences in the studio."

2. Soulja Boy

Soulja BoyFabolous (Raw)

"Yeah man, I was ready to take it to hip-hop," Soulja said in an interview. "We could put the sh*t on wax, man. And that coulda - But hey, I ain't got nothing against Fabolous. Fabolous [is] the homie. He was just joking around... Shouts out to Fabolous. We fin to do a song [together] real soon."

3. Ray J

Ray J & Lil KimNicki Minaj

"I'm reaching out to the whole world....to the whole hip hop community because that's just how I felt at the time. Never once did I mention anybody. That's what you do in hip-hop, you throw it out there, you have a little friendly competition..it is what it is."

4. Drake

DrakeDrake (Thank Me Later)

"Take Care is it's own mission," Drake said in an interview. "I'm really going back to the So Far Gone where, first of all, as much as the label and people are fighting me, I'm not doing 14 songs, 'cause it doesn't give me enough. I want to do interludes, transitions and different moments. I have an overabundance. I've never had this many raps...It's gonna be an experience...I often hear people reference So Far Gone and Comeback Season, 'Aww, we miss that.' And while that was a point in time they miss, I was an underdog, and that will never happen again, unfortunately...That's not to say I can't provoke those same emotions...I really want to write great 'life' raps. I just want to write for the people and speak for my generation."

5. Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow & Nicki MinajNicki Minaj (Pink Friday)

"I listen to everything," Paltrow said in an interview. "I probably have the most schizophranic [sic] iPod. My biggest obsession right now is the Nicki Minaj album. She's a genius. I'm also obsessed with Kanye's album. I really like Dierks Bentley. He has a bluegrass record that I really love...I watched Beyonce a ton because I think she's the best live performer happening right now. She has this amazing confidence..."

***LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! Doggies, I'm still rolling over on my a** from that Kevin Hart/Diddy sh*t with the model's hair catching on fire. SMFH. D*mn, her hair was hotter than any of the records on Puffles' CD. LOL. Nah, no bullsh*t, Last Train to Paris ain't that bad. Hope y'all bad a** doggies are at least pretending to be good b/c in one week, it'll be X-Mas Eve. Still haven't gotten word yet if I can do a post on X-Mas Eve but f*ck it, live for the moment, right doggies? LOL. --BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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