Pulse Report: Nicki Minaj Ain't Sweatin' Rap B*tches, Kanye West & Keri Hilson Need Sex, Rick Ross Gets His Props

Friday, Dec 10, 2010 12:40PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we respect Nicki Minaj for reminding us that she's already sh*tted on the rap game, try to understand Kanye West and Keri Hilson's horny a**es, induct Rick Ross as "Doggy of the Week" and oh SOHH much more!

1. Queen Of Music

F*ck rap. F*ck R&B. Nicki Minaj ain't thinking about none of these rap b*tches, plain and simple. I can't believe it took me this long to realize it, doggies, but Nicki really ain't thinking about Lil Kim, Eve, Foxy Brown, Jean Grae, Trina or anybody else that is either co-signing or dissing her. Really. Think about it, Nicki's a** pretty much silenced us when she sh*tted 375,000 Pink Friday albums like it was nothing and for us to say this sh*t about her jacking Lil Kim's style is just stupid, doggies. Be dead a** honest. I'll admit, I didn't want to f*ck with the "Barbie" SMFH but it's true. What Nicki Minaj is doing is making us feel dumb as h*ll for being so f*cking square. I mean, y'all wanna talk album sales? For once, Baby actually made me feel stupid:

"It's cool, she accomplished more than-- it's been 10 years man, 15 years since anybody did that. I think that's great though, how we did it and how everybody buckled down and grinded. I love her. I got the utmost respect for Nicki because she is a hard worker and she is dedicated and she's smart, she's intelligent and she's a student of this sh*t. Nicki gonna keep growing. She has that mindset and what she is reaching for is high in the sky, so you're gonna keep seeing Nicki grow. We're proud of what she did and we're going to expect next time to be even better."

^ Hate to admit it, but Baby really wasn't shocked about those sales and I can't blame him. Even when all of us were thinking Nicki would do 100K at best, he stood by her and really believed that the LP would do Spiderman on Broadway numbers. Sh*t, he probably thinks the project under-sold what it could have done. SMFH. But even better than what Baby said was what MC Lyte talked about. This sh*t really blew me away:

Nicki Minaj & MC LyteLady Gaga & Kanye West

"Those who really need to be worried by Nicki's record is Fergie, Gwen Stefani, Nelly Furtado," Lyte said in an interview. "Nicki is coming out to win. She's not thinking of the block. She's not just thinking of the city. So she's able to handle so many areas of what it takes right now to be an international star. So hats off to everybody that's doing it but, I see the vision that Nicki sees for herself that people probably didn't see before...You cannot tell me that any female emcee listening to either one of [Kim or Minaj] don't want to spit a verse themselves because it's that competitive nature that hip-hop brings to the community. So, it's the art. People love to do it."

^ Dead a** on point. F*ck are we comparing Nicki to some tired a** rap b*tches. At this point, she's on a different level. Whether we want to admit it or not, she's on a big a** (pun intended) mainstream level where Minaj not only has the ability but connections to hop on a Lady Gaga record or even do some cameo sh*t in a Fergie video. And if you thought those first-week sales were a fluke, check again, doggies:

Nicki MinajNicki Minaj (Pink Friday)

Young Money raptress Nicki Minaj's Pink Friday slid six slots to No. 8 with 103,100. Headed into its third week, the Barbie's debut has shelled out 479,100 units.

^ 103K in WEEK F*CKING TWO!?!?! D*MN!!! Remember when she said she felt if her album flopped then all females were done? Well, doggies, Minaj did just the opposite and has shined a light for rap b*tches really trying to takeover the male doggies. SMFH. Oh, and y'all want to know what success, album sales and relevancy earns you?

Nicki MinajLil Kim

"It does, it does. But the thing that I want to promote is that if you see someone doing their thing, give them their props. We all have it hard and face the same challenges as female emcees. Show some mutual love and respect for each other so that it doesn't get nasty. And [Lil Kim] can be a nasty character."

^ SMFH. Lil Kim LOST.

2. A.D.I.D.A.S.

SMFH. Doggies, don't get sh*t twisted over my Mrs. Butterworth section. I love women and sex but the sh*t that Kanye West and Keri Hilson said over the past week was beyond what I could put in "STFU" Honors. LOL. From Kanye West wanting to find a good baby mama to Keri Hilson just wanting to get f*cked really good, WTF? I still can't call it, bring some light to these doggies and/or hit them up on Twitter with your contact information........b/c they are single and sound ready to f*ck. Just Saying.

The Bachelor: Kanye West

Kanye West (Nude Photos)Video Vixen

"I'm a hopeless romantic and I'm looking and trying to decide who the mother of my child will be. It's not going to be based off a whim of being in love; she has to bring a certain level to the table. I want to be married, I want that super-dope counterpart, that one woman, but she has to be super-fresh, super-smart and not overwhelmed by her career. I'll find her, maybe I'll be 38 ... maybe I'm not fully who I am yet, maybe that's why I haven't found her ... The main quality is that you know that this person will ride or die for you. Whether she's mad at you, whether she's with you or nor, she still loves you, she stills bigs you up in any circle. She doesn't talk down about you to other people. That's the main thing that I need."

The Bachelorette: Keri Hilson

Keri HilsonKeri Hilson

"Perez, I don't wanna be held and caressed every night. Sometimes I do wanna be f*cked," she said in the interview. "I can't allow other people to dictate, or the media to dictate, what I can and can't do...I'm a freak. It's no surprise. I'm a freak! I've been a freak on other songs and in other videos."

Doggies, somebody get these two a f*cking room. Hopeless horny a** romantics.

3. Doggy of the Week: Rick Ross

The best part about being able to do Pulse Report, doggies, besides Mrs. Butterworth, is having the freedom and respect to say whatever the h*ll I want. With that being said, let's get right to it. Rick Ross. Doggy of the Week. This is yet another idea I have been fooling around with and this is how it breaks down. You think your doggy is doggy of the week, well, you gotta have the ink and handle yourself in a real doggy manner. Still playing with what "qualifications" there should be, but as an avid sports fan, I'm going with that whole "Player of the Week" approach. Doggy that's leading the week in beefs, collaborations, etc...LMFAO. So doggies, let's kick this sh*t off right and, doggy-willing, hope it becomes a dope a** trend on here. Ricky Rozay, let these doggies know!

Rick Ross Is A Stand-Up Doggy

Rick Rossgrammy-awards-2010-12-09-300x300.jpg

"Everybody that was nominated this year for the Grammys, I congratulate them, and I feel like everyone deserve it," Ross said in an interview. "As far as me, I feel like it's just something else for me to work towards, you know, if that's something that I'm really, really trying to achieve -- Other than that, I had a wonderful year and I really couldn't ask for no more."

^ No bullsh*t doggies, Ross kept it real doggy-like. His a** has been deserving of a Grammy and instead of b*tching out like The-Dream, he kept sh*t humble. Preach!

Rick Ross Says F*ck A "No Comment" Doggy Statement

Rick RossRick Ross & Chrisette Michele

"I haven't spoken to Chrisette Michele or her team. but I didn't speak to her to [invite her to] the show either. It was something maybe the label set up. [But] her choice of words were ugly. Denouncing hip-hop, that ain't cool. Using ugly words could give off the wrong impression. That could make your hat look ugly to me now. That could make your haircut look ugly to me now. Hopefully if we win a Grammy, she'll come out and accept it with your boy. Give me a kiss on the cheek."

^ 5-0 Cent used to get away with these sarcastic a** statements. Not anymore. Ross could have taken the "No Comment" route, which I strongly suggest RAPPERS to use when in doubt, but he kept sh*t gully and didn't hold back his tongue for Chrisette Michele.

Rick Ross Ain't No Shook Doggy

Rick RossYoung Jeezy

"I'm not sure what was going on. [The freestyle] was most definitely [disrespectful], whatever it was. Then the explanations seemed sideways, less than G," Ross explained in an interview. "It's most definitely when we always touching distance from each other. I'm right here. It's not like I'm in Miami and you in New York. We see each other. That's the only issue I had. It was sideways. So I made a record, 'Summer's Mine' just to [let him know], if we gonna play that sport, let's put it on the table like men. If it was just a freestyle that the world took the wrong way, leave it alone. That's how I took it...I don't accept [anti-beef calls from Island Def Jam CEO L.A. Reid], I think they know that would have been an exercise in futility. Whatever it's gonna be, it's gonna be. If we gonna get money, we gonna get money. If it's pressure, just put it on the table. I feel no way. I had nothing but love for the homie, but if me getting money in the streets or making music offended you, I can't help that."

^ F*ck peace treaties. Wanna get L.A. Reid involved? F*ck outta here. Ross wins the category of "What's What, doggy?" b/c not only did he admit to going at Jeezy but he doesn't take anything back. Oh yeah, he sees doggy on the regular too, so what's what?

Rick Ross' Got Your Back, Doggy

Rick RossKeri Hilson

"When I got the record, I most definitely knew she was going to another level and I was excited for her," Ross told MTV News. "I love to see the creative side. She's a sexy female and I think she showed that. When I think of Janet Jackson when I was coming up and she was doing her Control thing, I loved it. So if that's the feeling that young people [are getting] or whoever is feeling the music, if that's the inspiration they get, I think it's dope."

^ LMFAO! Doggy, Ross, you know it, Keri knows it and WE know it...ain't nothing creative about wanting to just get F*CKED. LMFAO. But that's what Ross gets props for. He knew that even though Keri was filthy as sh*t on her new record, he still had her back. Through thick and thin, doggies.

Rick Ross'll Make Your A** Famous, Again, Doggy

Rick RossDiddy

"The experience is priceless," Ross added referring to working with Diddy. "The relationships that Puff Daddy has established over the years would take me another 25, 30 years to establish. And me having him as a partner being able to step in and make things happen a little quicker, it's only an asset. I'm a person that knows how to take advantage of that."

^ Say what y'all want, doggies, but without Rick Ross, Diddy's Last Train to Paris album would not be dropping in 96 hours. Ross has continued to show his ties in this rap sh*t are on that Diddy status and in return, Puffles has the respect, if you can even call it that, of the streets bloggers.

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Carmella Currency

LMFAO. Doggies, y'all are going to have to start paying a premium for the amount of hot a** girls I put y'all on to. This week is no different than any other as we get introduced to the sweet and juicy Carmella Currency. Don't let the "Sopranos" first name reference throw you off, this girl's Olivia-like facial features throw you off either. At 23 and 5'8/135 lbs, give or take, this hottie is the purest Puerto Rican/German swirl you have never met. Big ups to @King-Mag for their dope a** Web Girl of the Week suggestion. Y'all stole the show this week!

Carmella CurrencyCarmella Currency

If you had to sleep with one woman who would it be?

Beyonce. She's bad.

What is the most important issue in the world today and why?

The economy, the "war" and global warming.

Do you own any adult videos?

Negative, I make my own...

How old were you when you had your first kiss and paint us the picture?

Kindergarten, in the backyard playhouse...next-door neighbor. Nothing special [laughs]

Carmella CurrencyCarmella Currency

The biggest misconception about me is...

...that I have an attitude. Nope, I'm usually very blunt. But chances are if you think I'm having an attitude, you're having one with me so of course I'm going to seem like I have one.

Tell us something your parents don't know about you...

A lot, but just to be on the safe side and for the sake of argument, because I'm sure they're going to read this, how many tattoos I have...

Preferred type of underwear?

Booty shorts or nothing at all. I like to just be naked sometimes...

Carmella CurrencyCarmella Currency

What is the most creative thing a guy has said or done to approach you?

Hmmm.well recently I had ran into a guy. Blew him off and never even bothered to pay attention to him. Then I came out to my car one night with my best friend and there was a CD on my car with a note. We were talking mad ish and totally disregarded it then I ended up hitting him up. But I didn't know it was the same guy. Anyway, kinda weird but were currently "speaking".

If you don't have a lot of money, you better have...

Personality to keep me intrigued and the mindset to get you some. I don't like dealing with dead weight.

What's your fetish?

Fades and necks. I like rubbing on my man's head and he gotta be faded up, lined up and have a clean neck always. I like rubbing and kissing on it.

^ No videos with this hottie, doggies.

5. "STFU" Honors

LMFAO. Doggies, let me tell all of y'all a secret. Each week I ask myself one very distinct question. "What happens if RAPPERS stop saying stupid sh*t?" SMFH. Honestly though, what the h*ll would happen if that occurred? Sure, y'all know the first three posts can often be freestyled, maybe a love letter to Rosa Acosta, me airing out Lupe Fiasco's a** for killing himself by dissing Atlantic Records publicly or even a breakdown of wack a** and good a** records on Lloyd Banks' new album. But when it comes to this final section, y'all know it can only be juicy, funny, and simply SHUT THE F*CK UP, honors, types of quotes. Therefore, make way doggies, we got some inductees this week! LOL! And yes doggies, Kanye West HAD to get placed in here, last minute change. LMFAO.

1. Yung Berg

Yung BergDMX

"Ah man, y'all know I was signed to DMX, first deal, and that was real major for me because X is like influential," Berg explained in an interview with Mikey T The Movie Star. "X is the biggest artist of maybe my lifetime, my life span, my little time being out. Shout-out to him and [Jay-Z]. X is one of them dudes that's crazy with it. I really want to be able to work with X. I wish I could just get with X and give him one of these hit records. I wish I could. Shout-out to Swizz, shout-out to Eve, shout-out to really everybody I got my grassroots started with because without y'all, those are the experiences that are priceless. Forget somebody knowing me when I got a record out or anything like that."

2. 50 Cent

50 CentMichael Jackson

"[Michael Jackson] said he was interested in working with me and said he had something he wanted me to actually hear," 50 said in an interview. "To talk to him is confirmation on different levels that you've made it. He said he wanted to work with me and [he] had some ideas and I'm like, 'Yeah, I would love to.' I'm nervous and all that on the phone, and I don't usually get nervous because I really don't care about a lot of the other artists but Mike is special. Something different -- after Mike passed, Mike was gone and all the confusion takes place. Things settle down a little bit, and I get a call to actually come in and perform on the actual song he intended for us to work on together."

3. Kanye West

Kanye West & ShayKanye West & Kim Kardashian

Kanye West & Selita EbanksKanye West & Amber Rose

"I'm a hopeless romantic and I'm looking and trying to decide who the mother of my child will be. It's not going to be based off a whim of being in love; she has to bring a certain level to the table. I want to be married, I want that super-dope counterpart, that one woman, but she has to be super-fresh, super-smart and not overwhelmed by her career. I'll find her, maybe I'll be 38 ... maybe I'm not fully who I am yet, maybe that's why I haven't found her ... The main quality is that you know that this person will ride or die for you. Whether she's mad at you, whether she's with you or nor, she still loves you, she stills bigs you up in any circle. She doesn't talk down about you to other people. That's the main thing that I need."

4. Soulja Boy Tell Em

Soulja BoyBow Wow

"I definitely look at it like that, I know I opened a lot of doors but there's other people that opened a lot of doors that don't get the respect that they need," said Soulja. "Like Bow Wow, I feel like he opened a lot of doors and people don't never give him the respect that he deserve. Just everyone since the beginning of hip-hop, it just keeps going and somebody new come in."

5. Slim Thug

Slim ThugVideo Vixen

"I like women that like women. I just feel like people need to step into the future. Nowadays that's what's up, girls like girls. Everywhere you go it's like that, [that's what's going on with the younger generation] I like that. I like my girls to be more wild. I'd be lying if I said I like a square girl that might not want to have sex a lot. So I'm going to be real and tell you what I like. I like girls that like girls, I like a girl that goes hard."

***Doggies, LOL, I had a ball of fun with this week's Pulse Report, no bullsh*t. I know I took a gamble with the "Doggy of the Week" sh*t so we will see how it works out. Hopefully it'll take better form and be dope as sh*t. Seems like it makes perfect sense b/c usually one of the posts we do in here relates to a doggy that gets all the attention for saying tons of reckless sh*t. LOL. Don't know, but I think it's worth giving it a small-run. It's cold as sh*t around the BX and hope all y'all doggies out in the warm a** areas get a sunburn, lucky a** doggies! LOL. Nah, just f*cking around. Aight doggies, I gotta take my a** to Wal-Mart and buy a heater, catch y'all on Tuesday unless my hands thaw out and I feel like burning some of y'all up in the comments! LOL. --BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

For the latest gadgets, gear and giveaways, check out GetFrush.com.

blog comments powered by Disqus