Pulse Report: Lil Kim Stings Nicki Minaj, Funkmaster Flex Hates On 2Pac, DMX Is The New Ol' Dirty Bastard

Friday, Nov 26, 2010 12:20PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we give props to Lil Kim finally putting a sting into Nicki Minaj, question whether or not Funkmaster Flex's anti-2Pac remarks were untrue, pay our respects to the memory of pre-2000 DMX and oh SOHH much more!

1. Rumble With The Bee

Funny, huh, doggies how just a couple weeks ago I TOLD Y'ALL Nicki Minaj was using Lil Kim as a scapegoat to sell some records of a pretty wack a** Pink Friday (I heard every track, doggies, it's BASURA, no fuego!) debut album. Her best attempt though was doing the has-been sh*t on "Roman's Revenge?" LMFAO. YOU LOSE, NICKI MINAJ! Anyway though, let's get cracking to the start of this so y'all can see exactly what it is that I'm talking about.

Nicki Minaj

It looks like listeners were right all along. While interviewing with Angie Martinez during Hot 97's VIP Lounge earlier today (November 19), Nicki Minaj finally admitted the target for her collaboration with Eminem, "Roman's Revenge" is in fact Lil' Kim. "You gotta be careful when you pick fights," Minaj said, referring to the Queen Bee. "That's what I've learned in this business. I think people mistake me for a real Barbie and forget where I'm from. They forget where I'm from. And if I have to revert back, I can and I will."

^ Still not impressed, doggies? Well, luckily for y'all, I got the audio of Minaj talking that greasy sh*t about Kim:

"It's one of those moments where you say, 'don't play with me,' because I respect you, I love you, I've said it in every interviewtime and time again, and if that's not good enough with you mama, then it's something deep rooted in you. Something is bothering you inside. That's your insecurity bothering you. [If] it's not Nicki Minaj, it would have been any girl that started poppin'. She picked a fight with Foxy [Brown], then she picked a fight with Eve, then she picked a fight with Remy [Ma], then it was Ms. [Voletta] Wallace, then it was Nicki Minaj. Everytime you in the news is 'cause you gettin' at somebody. Where's your music? Put your music out. When I see your name on Billboard, that's when I'll respond to you. Other than that, goodbye...It hurt my feelings because I remember when I saw her on the tour with Wayne and I ran into Foxy and Foxy said, 'Why you keep giving props to Kim? She don't like you.' She was like, 'The girl be dissing you in conversation.' And I'm so much of a diehard and I was like, 'Until I hear her say something about me, I'm gonna continue paying my respect to her in my interviews,' and that's what I did. So when I saw her at Wayne's concert, she performed with Keyshia [Cole], she came into our dressing room like she might use the bathroom and stuff and I stopped her. I was like, 'I wanna make sure everything is cool with us because I'm a fan first. Is everything good?' [In Kim's voice], 'Yeah everything good, we good.' Hugs and kisses. 'Can I take a picture with you? I love you.' This is somebody that I looked at highly. We took a picture, everything was good."

^ Y'all do realize Barbies are fake, right? Much like Minaj's a** (pun intended). Still amped over the fact that she denied dissing Kim in the first place then just a few days before the album drops and about two days after the album LEAKED, she's gone to this low point? Just pulling cats out the bag about how Kim did all these beefs and yada yada yada? Yo, Nicki, what happened to you saying you would NEVER call these "jealous b*tches" out? Well, of course Kim had to spit that hot fire and put Minaj in her place:

"I'm turning Pink Friday to Friday The 13th...Aight, you Lil Kim clone clown / all this buffoonery s**t stops now / Time for you to lay down / I'm sick of the fraud / I'll put hands on this b**ch like Obama's guards," Kim says. "We all know your last name / what got you your job / You a put together gimmick / something like a collage."

^ Aight, I'ma let that social security eraser sh*t go since Kim at least came with something. LMFAO. I don't know about y'all, but can't you see the fakeness that's in the whole Young Money camp? From Drake to Nicki to, sorry Weezy, Lil Wayne to every doggy over there. They have a bit of that b*tcha**ness in them, even though they're the hottest thing out right now. SMFH. But y'all know the saying. Men lie, women lie but those d*mn numbers don't and for a female rap doggy, Minaj might be laughing to the bank:

Nicki Minaj (Pink Friday)

Cash Money/Universal Motown's red-hot Nicki Minaj also bested pre-release predictions, with a total in the 375-425k range for her hotly anticipated debut, Pink Friday, though the upcoming Black Friday could render these estimates a little less accurate than usual.

^ Say what y'all want about Taylor Swift's a** selling a million copies, if Minaj does ANYTHING over 200K, then all these bullsh*t stunts, interviews, lies would have been worth it and at this point, d*mn, it might just shut me the h*ll up.

2. The Truth Shall Set You Free

Funkmaster Flex was right. PERIOD! I figured I might as well go ahead and get that through y'all's skulls before you go off thinking next week's Cap Diss is gonna be Funk Flex on the sh*tter with some headphones on. LMFAO. Doggies, y'all can argue all the d*mn much you want but you're not gonna convince me that Flex is sour about Pac not subscribing to that payola bullsh*t and that's why Funk Doggy hated him. SMFH. Take away the fact that I'm from the Bronx and that it is almost in our blood to rep for our fellow BX doggies and consider the facts. Exhibit A:

"There are those that don't f*ck with Tupac," Flex said in some leaked concert footage. "F*ck n*ggas sucking Tupac's d*ck. I don't suck Tupac's d*ck. Make some noise if you miss f*cking Biggie Smalls. Brooklyn, let's go!"

^ LMFAO. Come on doggies, y'all gotta admit that sh*t was type hilarious. LMFAO! But yeah, where is Flex saying f*ck Pac? As a matter of fact, he's actually bigging up the doggy by saying for the Pac lovers to get off his d*ck a bit, right? Aight, so maybe I'm sugarcoating this especially since Flex brought up B.I.G. almost immediately but look at the facts. First off, Flex was in NYC, not Cali, so he gets a pass for that. Second, if you've ever been to a Flex/Mister Cee show, B.I.G. always gets the most love, sorry if Pac got used as a scapegoat to big up B.i.G. Third, he said BROOKLYN LET'S GO. It was a f*cking NY vibe going on. Nonetheless, Flex kept sh*t cool and collective when the Internet went wild and decided to address the whole sh*t ASAP:

"I know everyone saw a short clip of me saying some things about Tupac in a nightclub," Flex said on his Hot 97 radio show. "I know some of his fans are upset because they feel he's not here to defend himself. Let me be the first one to say not only do I respect his music, I respect what he put down. I respect the records he made, the records he sold, his positive energy in the beginning, the great records he made and I know how passionate he was about his music. That's not where any of this came from and yeah it came out at the wrong time and I know people only saw that little piece so you don't know what exactly was going on that night. I want to keep it so one hundred today, I feel a certain way. It's just how I feel -- Yes, he was very talented and yet he made great records, and I also think he brought a negative energy into the game with the beefing -- and the threats of what was going on and yes, it happened to be most of the artists were from New York City...It was people like Notorious B.I.G., people like Nas, Jay-Z, Faith Evans, Mobb Deep, and you know I don't want this to be a situation where it's this against that, or this team against this team, and I know all these things are done and gone and years ago, I get it, everybody can say what they want but dude didn't have no good energy towards me. He repeatedly said it many times on how he felt and you know what, I can't support everything that people say about him because I feel a lot of that energy brought a lot of negativity and brought changes in the game that we live with now. And that's just the way I feel. And yeah maybe I shouldn't have did it there -- and my bad to his fans who feel like I'm kicking somebody when they're not here but when Pac was here, he was pushing out all that negative energy, he was pushing out all that negative energy on television, in the magazines and I know everybody loves the man and you should love him -- but I don't have to love him like that..."

^ Now before we even get into the Outlawz's wack a** attempt to mock Flex, let's look at Flex's perspective and respect it. Are all these NOT affiliated with Pac?

^ Y'all can argue the fact that "Who Shot Ya" was ALLEGEDLY aimed at 2Pac and you can even bring up the name drop on "Brooklyn's Finest" but at the end of the day, y'all cannot lie about Pac not having negative energy. Sure, you can say he was paranoid and felt like the East wasn't showing him love but f*ck the radio, he bragged about selling millions without the support, so why feel the need to keep riding on B.I.G., Jay, Nas, etc? SMFH. And the most embarrassing move for all y'all Pac fans is the response from Outlawz. This sh*t was so bad that Flex really ended up looking like a G at the end of the day:

Funkmaster Flex & The OutlawzTupac

"Who cares about what Flex says," Outlawz told XXL. "He's a f*cking mut, his drivin' sh*t was weak, he look like a fat midget with lil' titties, nobody cares about him."

^ I'm always one for letting both sides speak but WTF? "Fat midget with lil' titties?" SMFH. Not only is that sh*t not funny but y'all are some grown a** doggies. My little nephew says harder sh*t than that on the school bus. SMFH. Even worse than the retired a** interview response was the record Outlawz put out:

There is nothing wrong with wanting to protect the doggy that put you on but unless you want to be taken as a joke, never drop some wack a** sh*t like this, ever.....AGAIN. SMFH. Y'all can argue but you know my point. Flex is right and even though Pac's music will never be denied, y'all cannot excuse the negativity he brought to the game with threats and taunting. Same sh*t went down with 5-0 Cent and Ja Rule but as 5-0 would eventually learn, Pac's ability to sell records off of dissing doggies existed because his music was meaningful too. Gavel that, gavel that.

3. Locked Up

SMFH. Doggies, this is going to just be a random a** rant about DMX. SMFH. Can anybody call it these days? How does the doggy that literally had sh*t popping off in 1998 with multi-platinum albums, Ruff Ryders, his own clothing line and the world eating out of his hand just go completely to sh*t? Oh wait.......

^ SMFH. D*mn. It really might be a wrap for doggy. He can say he only practices alcohol consumption and that's it, but you don't f*ck up this many times over some Jack Daniels. While our fat a**es are sitting behind a computer screen, turns out doggy's a** is locked, stocked and awaiting a December court date in Arizona:

DMX (Court)Legal Gavel

Rapper DMX, real name Earl Simmons, made a brief appearance Wednesday morning in Maricopa County Superior Court. Simmons, 39, denied violating his probation on drug charges, failing to submit to a drug test and driving with a suspended license. Court Commissioner Christine Mulleneaux ordered Simmons to remain in jail without bond. Simmons ended up behind bars in Arizona -- for the sixth time in 10 years -- last week. He was three months short of completing an 18-month substance abuse program...........Maricopa County Superior Court staff tell us that Commissioner Christine Mulleneaux set another hearing for December 9 at 8 a.m. As we mentioned a couple of days ago, DMX (he's Earl Simmons in the stacks of police and court paperwork about him), told a TV station that he simply took a "sip of alcohol" while performing. The probation department says differently, accusing him of blowing off his required drug treatment program and using drugs. He was arrested after police suspected him of using cocaine and Oxycontin.

^ D*MN. It's not bad enough that he had to miss Thanksgiving but that he is looking at being thrown in the slammer? Nah, get the h*ll out of here. What happened to everything just being alcohol?

In addition, according to the complaint, he was also cited for use of Oxycontin without a prescription, failing to submit to drug testing, failing to participate in counseling programs, failure to make payments and driving on a suspended license.

^ The thing I don't understand is what will it take to contain X? LOL. I mean, jail can't stop him, his doggies like Swizz Beatz, Jadakiss and Eve can't stop him, his wife doesn't want anything to do with him. What is it going to take? I know y'all may just skim through this or not even acknowledge at all, but you gotta wonder how much is left in X. He can only say these religious statements so long before we stop believing him. How many times can X get saved? And mind you, this is coming from a doggy that has been a f*ck, habitually, for the last ten years d*mn near. Take it how y'all want it, but if y'all ask me, X's clock is ticking pretty fast and if he doesn't get his sh*t together, then he might be with the good lord sooner than he thinks. SMDM.

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Keyshia Dior

SMFH. Doggies, how in the h*ll did I NOT know about Keyshia Dior? I can't remember what my big doggy told me, but supposedly she f*cked with Drake or Gucci Mane? D*mn, even though I'm not a fan of those "beauty marks" on the face, her a** gets a strong a** co-sign. Some of y'all begged and pleaded for a thick shorty and so since y'all allowed me to put up my thick a** version of Rocsi, I felt it was only right to return the favor. Doggies, hope your beliies are full with turkey, b/c it's time for dessert, Mrs. Butterworth-style:

Keyshia DiorKeyshia Dior

Keyshia DiorKeyshia Dior

Keyshia Diordth="300" height="300" class="mt-image-none" style="" />

^ And oh yeah, doggies, we got them videos this week too!

^ Thickness, doggies?

5. "STFU" Honors

Maybe it is just me, doggies, but I cannot stand when rappers say sh*t and then end up taking it back, much like DMX going at Jay-Z. SMFH. Or even better, how about when a rapper who has put up sh*t-type records over the past few years compares his new album to something unmatchable, like 5-0 Cent and Dr. Dre. SMFH. Ever have a doggy that talks reckless sh*t and then when confronted about it, gets quiet as h*ll? Slim Thug. Even though y'all can spot me saying mad sarcastic sh*t on here, never will y'all see me pulling a Soulja Boy Tell Em. LMFAO. And finally, I respect O.G.'s, but when you try to label Kanye West as "JUST A RAPPER?" SMFH. Nah doggy, you sound like "Grumpy Old Men 3" up in here. Doggies, I present to y'all, "SHUT THE F*CK UP HONORS."

1. DMX

DMX (Jail Pic)Jay-Z

DMX's manager Nakia Walker revealed that X had planned to issue a video apology to former collaborator Jay-Z after video of the Dog freestyling the lyric "F*ck Jay-Z" surfaced online earlier this week. "Jay called Swizz [Beatz] and Swizz called us and we've been on the phone, back and forth over the last couple of days," she said. "He was just freestyling, he doesn't feel that way at all; not at all."

2. 50 Cent

50 Cent (Shockingly Skinny)Dr. Dre

"What [fans] are hearing are just my ideas," Fif said in an interview. "This is my Detox album, it may take ten years and you gonna wait on it until it comes but when it do come, it'll be perfect. I recorded 20 songs to a whole different album concept before I put that on the side and said I wanna do this, what I'm doing now. I'ma write until I feel like I have something perfect. I feel like music marks time and it's important to put out the 'right' sound for that 'right' moment. Like my Curtis album, people said my Curtis album wasn't good and it had 'Ayo Technology,' number one record on the album. It had 'I Get Money,' 'I Still Kill' featuring Akon, Robin Thicke, so many hit records on the actual album, I'm like, 'What are you listening to?' But I guess I look at it and say it's timing...There's nobody in hip-hop that possesses the ability to do what I do. I'm more exciting than these people. I genuinely believe that..."

3. Slim Thug

Slim ThugNicki Minaj

"I ain't getting married until 40 now. [I message Nicki Minaj] only on Twitter. I saw her [the other] night but I don't harass her in person. If she ever gave me a shot I will get at her. I like Nicki Minaj and she can get it whenever but I don't f*ck with her in person, just on Twitter."

4. Soulja Boy Tell Em

Soulja BoyKat Stacks

"That's sad that she's getting deported, that they're taking my baby away and they don't want me to see her no more," he said in an interview. "You know when you love somebody, you gon' argue. You know what I mean? You gon' have arguments. I meant what I said. She's all of that and more. Scum of the Earth. That's my baby, though, and I love her. I don't have love for her, I love her."

5. Quincy Jones

Quincy Jones & Kanye WestKanye West

"No way," Jones responded when an interviewed said West was similar to him being one of the most sought-after producers in the past 10 years. "Did he write for a symphony orchestra? Does he write for a jazz orchestra? Come on, man. He's just a rapper. There's no comparison. I'm not putting him down or making a judgement or anything, but we come from two different sides of the planet. I spent 28 years learning my first skill. I don't rap. It's not the same thing. A producer has to have some sort of skills that enable him to be a producer. It's totally different to know what to do with 16 woodwinds you know from piccolos down to bass clarinet. It's a whole different mindset. No comparison. None."

***It's Black Friday doggies, I'm going shopping! -BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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