Pulse Report: Lil Kim Jacks Nicki Minaj's Hood, 50 Cent Is Filthy Rich, Kanye West's B.A.D. Day

Friday, Nov 12, 2010 12:50PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we applaud Lil Kim for stealing fans out of Nicki Minaj's house, look at 50 Cent's big stacks (pause), witness Kanye West's B.A.D. "Today Show" appearance, and oh SOHH much more!

1. Straight Outta Queensbridge

Doggies, can y'all just be honest with me for a second? Yes or no, was or "has" Nicki Minaj called out Lil Kim on the regular? I know I went OD hard with that "Has-Been" line off of "Roman's Revenge," but I think we've come to realize that Minaj ain't really all that she is cracked up to be. Her "Right Thru Me" sh*t is really bogus as h*ll, she doesn't know whether it's Nicki this, Roman that and then to top it all off, she drops a DISS record days before Pink Friday drops? SMFH. Say what you want, whether this was planned in advance or if she came up with the idea to put the record out before her album dropped, but I think this sh*t is wack. Emotions aside, everyone wants it. I want it, you want it, Lil Kim wants it, why the h*ll does Nicki Minaj keep falling back? Doggies, even BABY agrees that Nicki is going at Kim on "Roman's Revenge." Peep the math:

Nicki Minaj & Baby

"Real talk, but maybe Kim asked for it. Usually we don't try to make money like that...that's not our theory. We make great music. We have never been the type to make songs about motherf*ckas. I think Nicki is speaking in general, not just Kim personally. A lot of motherf*ckers have been hating on her success. To me, they are all asking for it. I don't think any of them has as a talented clique as Nicki. We a movement."

^ LMFAO. Give credit to Baby, even though we stay airing his a** for sh*t he has said, you gotta admit, Cash Money/Young Money doesn't look to get $$$ off of beefing. Granted, they might stack up off raping their artists' out of their contracts/publishing, but they don't go up on VladTV and WSHH popping wild sh*t off. So I will tip my hat off to that. Anyway, someone else who felt this pink doggette was going at Kim was none other than 5-0 Cent. LOL.

50 Cent

"I just heard that em nikki joint good sh*t. I know kim tight. Lol she gonna ride on her and Em. Lol http://plixi.com/p/55347613," 50 tweeted Saturday (November 6) referring to Nicki Minaj and Eminem's record.

^ The BEST sh*t was the Queen Bee buzzing Queens, New York, Minaj's stomping ground. Peep this:

^ LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here's the catch, I f*ck with Kim and everything and Minaj is aight, but you can't say two things. First, "I'm gonna erase this b*tch's social security number" and then "I'm gonna kill her with my old sh*t." LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, Kim, you lost this sh*t and Minaj, you lost b/c you won't just stop with those d*mn Jay-Z subliminals and handle your sh*t like a real b*tch that you claim you are. Oh yeah, here's a bonus plug right here:

"I think there are many female rappers that I get along with," Minaj said in an interview with media personality Perez Hilton. "There have been so many female rappers that have congratulated me and given me genuine love. From Trina, who's my darling, to Missy Elliott, to Queen Latifah to Foxy Brown to Remy Ma, I mean, it goes on and on. That's what people don't understand. They think I'm the hated female rapper but it's like a lot of the girls have shown me love and come behind the scenes. Not even on the camera, just behind the scenes and have said, 'Congrats and keep up the good work.'"

^ Here's what's wrong, Nicki. Trina can't even sell over 50K with an album, Missy Elliott hasn't been relevant since "Work It," Queen Latifah ... LMFAO!!!!, Foxy Brown is a joke and Remy Ma's a** is now the female Shyne of rap. LMFAO. F*ck outta here!

2. I Get Money, Money I Got

Doggies, 5-0 Cent has proven one thing to me and it wasn't from his music. After all these Pulse Reports and constant bashing on this doggy, he has made one thing clear. His money is on the steady decline and he knows it. In honor of the idiocy that makes 5-0 Cent, 5-0 Cent, let's pay this doggy the proper respect he deserves:

50 Cent50 Cent

50 Cent50 Cent

50 Cent50 Cent

^ SMFH. Doggies, if you thought it wasn't over, it REALLY IS OVER NOW. One thing I notice about 5-0 is that he exposes his weaknesses on the regular. He says he doesn't care about Game and that he was never a part of G-Unit. G-Unit falls apart. Lloyd Banks sleeps with some groupie and leaves his sophomore album in here house but 5-0 says his doggy has a "golden egg" being put together. Rotten Apple flops. 5-0 says his G-Unit Clothing line is powerful. The company folds. 5-0 has "Money & The Power" on MTV. Show canceled. 5-0 gets a movie deal. The movies go straight-to-DVD. Every time 5-0 is public about something, it turns to sh*t. This boasting about money? LMFAO. Yes doggies, Mr. 14 on the Forbes list is done.

3. "Today" Was A "B.A.D." Day

You know what doggies, I gotta say something. I aired out Kanye West's a** hard a few weeks ago but after this whole debacle with the "Today Show," I'm starting to feel like "f*ck everybody" like West. Put all the hip-hop sh*t to the side for a minute and let's look at the politics. It's bad enough we still get The Daily News writing RAPPER CHRIS BROWN but the f*ckery that went down with Kanye West on the "Today Show?" WTF?

Kanye West

"I went up there to express how I was empathetic to Bush because I labeled him a racist and years later I got labeled as a racist.... While I was trying to give the interview they started playing the "MTV" under me with audio!!!!!!! I don't mess with Matt Lauer or the Today Show ... and that's a very nice way for me to put it! HE TRIED TO FORCE MY ANSWERS. IT WAS VERY BRUTAL AND I CAME THERE WITH ONLY POSITIVE INTENT. I feel very alone very used very tortured very forced very misunderstood very hollow very very misused. I don't trust anyone but myself! Everyone has an agenda. I don't do press anymore. I can't be everything to everybody anymore. I can't be everybody's hero and villain savior and sinner Christian and anti Christ! I can't take anymore advice!!! I create, I'm creative, I have a good heart, everyone will see and understand one day. Everything sounds like noise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING SOUNDS LIKE NOISE!!!!!!! I don't trust anyone! Very judged very scrutinized very criticized! I want everyone to know I have lows all the time but I make it through them! Yo I really wonder if Matt Lauer thought that sh*t was cool to play the "MTV" clip while I was speaking about Bush? He played clips of Bush and asked me to look at his face while I was trying to talk to him. I wish Michael Jackson had twitter!!!!!! Maybe Mike could have explained how the media tried to set him up!!! It's all a f*cking set up!!!! . This is rock and roll life my people... you can't stop the truth you can't stop the music and I have to be strong or "they" win!!!! . Sometimes it's not simple, some days it's not easy... I just want to create. I love you guys, thanks for the support!"

^ SMFH. I was still skeptical when I read this and thought Kanye was due for a hand-written a** whooping courtesy of Bulldog Butters, but then I saw the footage. SMFH. F*ck Matt Lauer.

"I didn't need you guys to show me the tape and prompt my emotions to what I'm going to say," said West, referring to Bush describing the rapper's racist remarks about him during the 2005 Hurricane Katrina disaster. "Pre-looking at his face, I came up here because I wanted to say something to him right after the fact. I don't really have to do the TV stuff. This is reality, this is the real thing going on. I don't need all the jazz...I'm here to man up to different mistakes that I made and speak to the moment when I pegged George Bush as a racist...I came here to say I've made mistakes and grown as a person and that it's not as easy as boxing someone into a villain role or into a race role. I did not have the information, enough information in that situation to call him a racist. That might've been the emotion that I felt."

^ Doggies, this is the same bullsh*t that Jay Leno pulled last year when he played that pity pat sh*t talking about Kanye West's mother. SMFH. That sh*t was NOT cool, Lauer, and it really opened my eyes to the media. Trying to paint Kanye like the new age victorious villain? WTF? Kanye was speaking for A MAJORITY of doggies in 2005 and to say he should have regretted his remarks is f*cking infuriating. F*ck politics and f*ck force-feeding sh*t. MY BEAUTIFUL DARK TWISTED FANTASY, IN STORES 11/22.

BONUS

Doggies, I'm sacrificing airing out your favorite doggies right here and doing a plea. Now don't take this the wrong way, but the Kanye West Cap Diss from last week was HORRIBLE AS SH*T! I know that we get caught up bullsh*tting in the comments but with a prize at stake, I gotta ask y'all to dig in your heads and send them sh*ts to [email protected]!!! I can't blame @sohh, they had to do what they had to do, but doggies, just look at this and tell me y'all aren't mad as h*ll that this more than likely one-time-commenter (since his a** didn't leave the diss in the actual comments section) deserved to get the crown and the autographed True Hip-Hop book? SMFH.

caption-diss-winner-300x300-2010-11-08.jpg

^ WTF???? Bullsh*t, doggies. So, here we are, about 72 hours away from when the deadline reaches and I'm begging y'all, for the sake of saving me the hassle of creating a fake e-mail and using my lazy a** next door neighbor's mailing address to win this sh*t, go the H*LL IN on Lil Weasel and Drizzle.

caption-diss-300x300-2010-11-08.jpg

Now even though I can't vote, I'm gonna give my top 3 favorite headlines right here. Doggies, Y'ALL GOTTA submit these in. LMFAO!!!

@Twitter.com/itztrizz617

"Drake, You gotta insert it at an angle otherwise you'll gag."

@Christopher

"Mr. and Mrs. Carter

@BulldogButterworth

"If Drake's the toilet, I'm the sh*t, drop it in, spoil it."

^ SMFH. LMFAO.

4. Candace Cabrera

Doggies, there comes a time in every doggy's life that he has to admit he was wrong. Last week, thinking of y'all, I was wrong. Why the h*ll did I think I could satisfy the mass majority of you doggies incapable of pulling a Mrs. Butterworth amongst the likes of this week's Candace Cabrera by offering you just an average Miss Butterworth? SMFH. FML. Yes, doggies, I don't apologize for sh*t but that was definitely a blow that I felt since last week. Sure, y'all aired my a** out and got at her, but the past is the past. If Lil Weasel can put that jail sh*t behind him, so can I. Doggies, I present to y'all the thickest thang that y'all have seen in a minute, Candace Cabrera, aka, Mrs. Butterworth:

Candace CabreraCandace Cabrera

Candace CabreraCandace Cabrera

Candace CabreraCandace Cabrera

And also, unlike last week, we got VIDEOS for Mrs. Butterworth. Wet your whistles, doggies:

^ D*mn, doggies, this straight up brings me back to those Hip-Hop Honeys days. LMFAO. Oh sh*t. But on the real, Candace seems down to Earth. Y'all ever see and think these chicks are bogu as h*ll and stuck up? Well, Candace looks like the type that could kick back with a couple of Coors and Coronas on a hot day in Puerto Rico. LOL.

5. "STFU" Honors

Doggies, doggies, doggies, I think I have seen one of the best highlights since "STFU" Honors went up. One of y'all doggies kept sh*t 100 and was up on Twitter, according to SOHH, talking about, "I'm reading STFU Honors on SOHH right now." LOL. D*mn, and all this time I thought I was the only one getting some sick, perverse enjoyment out of seeing YOUR favorite RAPPERS saying dumb a** sh*t. SMFH. LOL. Well, doggies, for this week we're gonna see why Eminem sounds like he prefers the right hand more than the right chick, laugh at Bow Wow admitting he's phony AND fake, try to not mock religion when mocking MC Hammer's words, see the Game giving himself an automatic "L" and then end things up with a "Lil" b*tch threatening to......erase another b*tch's social security number? LMFAO! You lose! Doggies, welcome to "SHUT THE F*CK UP" Honors!

1. Eminem

EminemVideo Vixen

"I have trust issues. With women, friends, whatever. You always wonder what their real motives are. I've got a small circle of friends, and it's a lot of the same friends I've known forever. Right now, that works for me. I came out of some difficult things these past couple of years. I kind of feel like I'm just now finding my footing. So I want to make sure that's secure before I go out and do anything else. I need to keep working on myself for a while....As far as going out, like dinner and a movie-- I just can't. Going out in public is just too crazy. I mean, I'd like to be in a relationship again someday. Who doesn't? It's just hard to meet new people, in my position."

2. Bow Wow

Bow Wow & Dollicia BryanCiara & Bow Wow

"This album will be my most personal and probably most controversial because of the title," Bow said in an interview. "Some might hate on it, but it's true. It's going to make people understand why I'm feeling like that. I haven't announced the title, but I pretty much have it confirmed in my head...There's a certain perception of me. But I'm ready to open up and give the world all of me. I had to sacrifice acting up an image that I never wanted in the first place, and I did it because it was the only situation that was going to put my mother in the right place and take care of my family. But it doesn't feel good doing sh*t that you don't really feel good about. I never felt like I could be me. Now, I'm ready to say if you don't like it, than you don't like me."

3. MC Hammer

Jay-Z & MC HammerMC Hammer & Jay-Z (Hellboy)

"At the end of the day he's just another rapper," Hammer said in an interview about Jay. "Let me frame it for you, he's just another man. I think that phrase is better. At the end of the day he's just another man. Men still gotta be men. He's not above being addressed...I feel victorious because my point was awareness of the issues. In anything that you are doing, the messaging is important, at least if that's what your goal is. My goal was - two main issues. One - in the last five/six years however many it has been, you have taken the position that my faith is joke. That my faith is something that you can use in my videos and something that you just wanna dress the walls up with. Run a quick photo by it of Jesus with bullet holes on the side of it."

4. Game

GameGame

"I just wrote the BEST SONG of my career & I owe 2 ALL OF YOU !!! You will understand when you hear it. #time2celebrate...It's called L.O.V.E. = "Let Our Violence End" produced by TIMBALAND"

^ LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. Lil Kim

"I got more love for Queens than this b*tch do," Kim said at a Queens, New York concert. "I will erase this b*tch's social security number. First of all I don't even need a record right now and I'd kill that b*tch with my old sh*t. I'll kill that b*tch with my old sh*t...Right now I'm in Queens, repping, because I got love for all the boroughs. Y'all see me in places where y'all be like, 'How the f*ck she there?' I touch my people -- like I said, I got a catalogue, this catalogue p*ssy. I'll kill this b*tch with my old sh*t. My records ain't just enter the charts, they made history. What the f*ck is this bullsh*t, this sh*t come and go. What the f*ck, is you kidding me? ... We gonna get back to partying, I just want to let y'all know, right, I don't ever let nothing take me off my grind..."

***Doggies, I know this sounds like some corny a** statement, but thank y'all for f*cking with good ol' Bulldog Butters for a year now. I was hoping to do some spectacular sh*t like posting links to some of those WSHH girls with Mrs. Buttersworth dripping off their a**es and t*ts. LOL. But instead, I'm more proud about the prizes we got going in CAPTION DISS and I think the additions of Mrs. Buttersworth and "STFU" Honors to this section has given us more strength, and properly disassociates ourselves from Archie Fuque's legacy. Aight, enough of that sappy sh*t, enjoy your weekend and REMEMBER, [email protected] for that Cap Diss prize!!! I'm outtie, doggies, see y'all on Tuesday! -BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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