Pulse Report: 50 Cent & Lloyd Banks Battle, Cam'ron Makes Kanye West Runaway, Nick Cannon Shoots Blanks At Eminem

Friday, Sep 17, 2010 11:55AM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we kick back and watch 50 Cent and Lloyd Banks going at each other, see why Cam'ron is making Kanye West "runaway," analyze why Nick Cannon signed his own death certificate with Eminem beef oh SOHH much more!

1. Comedy Or Drama, It's Starring Me, No Problem

SMFH. LOL!!!!! D*mn, even though y'all have noticed my absence as of late from the comments, I still see all the 5-0 Cent references and bullsh*t jokes y'all try to kick my way. LOL. It's all good but NEVER think that I try to include this doggy just to increase the number of readers on here b/c if that were the case, I'd have a** shots of Nicki Minaj and pictures from that Chelsea Handler sex tape on here. LOL. Anyway, let's get to the task at hand. Now y'all know how I get down when it comes to the bullsh*t Twitter beefs and the fact that @sohhdotcom actually wasted their time to see a bogus a** exchange between 5-0 and Lloyd Banks is beyond ridiculous. LOL. But looking at it, jokes or not, there are some hard a** jokes on there that I'm kinda shocked these two doggies said. Also, notice Tony Yayo's a** was no where in sight when this was going down. LOL. Use your judgment doggies but I think that Banks murked 5-0 in the Twitter battle, what do y'all think?

Banks Says:

"@50cent. old head you don't send me nothing,stingy ass nigga! pass a nigga something! sheesh," Banks tweeted Wednesday (September 15).

5-0 Says:

"Did this nigga @lloydbanks just called me a old head. Fuck that I'm out the group I quit. I see u ima get on ur chin nigga lol"

Banks Says:

"Man one day I didn't give this nigga some of my food,cause he aint order none...since that day its been on"

5-0 Says:

"@lloydbanks fuck u nigga U shoulda gave me some of that chicken. I catch u ima choke ur ass. Don't ever say that again in front of 3M ppl"

Banks Says:

"@50cent lmao yeah tell niggas who made u fix your teeth tho..plk"

5-0 Says:

"Nigga I made u $9M ima tell ur mother she should go shopping this week n u gonna pay for it fuck that! Ur grandma like me better than u"
"@lloydbanks Oh u wanna play dirty talking about my teeth. Well u look like bryan pumper nigga. ima call u lloyd pumper now"
"Banks if ur punchline so hot how come I'm grandma's favorite rapper.And I aint comin by ur house no more ur mother want too much money lol"

Banks Says:

"Your her favorite cause you put me on,lol she does love this grimey nigga tho"
"@50cent one more thing,when I sell these records I'm goin on vacation!fuck u too nigga, and yay cause he flips on me too"

5-0 Says:

"@lloydbanks oh that's how u feel. So fuck u then nigga. I remember u was fuckin with jaba in the projects nigga u is a dirty nigga u forgot."

^ LMFAO!!!! D*mn, y'all got dizzy yet or nah? LOL. Whether y'all think I am 5-0's secret biggest fan or his worst blogging enemy, just know that Banks killed this doggy on the Twitter tip. And while we're at it, Hunger For More 2 drops November 23rd, doggies. Like I said last week, the ship for 5-0 and Tony Yayo has been sunk for a minute, but with the recent co-signs from Kanye West and the collaborations Banks is doing these days, d*mn, his buzz might actually help keep the G-Unity brand afloat a while longer. We'll see.

2. I'm A Slick Prick.....PAUSE

LMFAO @NickCannon!?!?!!!? What in the h*ll was this doggy thinking by dropping a diss record at Eminem? LOL!!! In all honesty, doggies, I really did not want to post this bogus a** section up b/c Cannon lost all my respect when he let himself get played by Christina Millian and then said he was cheating on her...yeah, THAT'S why you got dumped, right Cannon? SMFH. For all of y'all doggies that were doing homework or dodging the IRS last weekend, this is what popped off courtesy of Nick"i".

"Now once upon a time in a far away life," Nick raps, imitating Slick Rick's accent. "There lived a young man who was so outstanding, to make it interesting it's me, Nick Cannon -- Now here's a little something that needs to be heard/Yo I'ma serve this clown, now/Word, Nick?/Word/I don't know if I should hit him because he's feminine Slick, excuse me Eminem why you lying on your d*ck?/Erectile dysfunction, you wanna get 'em up -- I see your mouth moving but you soft, Teddy Ruxpin/I tried to holla at you at the BET show, but you were scared of the trouble/More security than the Pope/And while you was in your bubble, I was rolling dolo, any time your face is in the streets is some signs for promo/Oh no, there's been a mistake, see my name is Slick Nick, not Shady Flakes/I'ma mop you up with my wop like it's '88..."

^ LMFAO!!!!!! OK, really Nicki? Let's just quickly name the TOP 3 reasons why this sh*t is more a** than Buffy the Body. FIRST, why in the H*LL would you rap in Slick Rick's voice? SMH....no Nicki. SECOND, if you are GOING to use that voice, then why would you not at least call yourself "SLICK NICK?" SMH....... Last? You're going after Shady a year AFTER he destroyed your wife's image? LOL!!! BONUS: You actually used Teddy Ruxpin as a diss at Em? LMFAO!!!!! You know what, I'mma let D12 speak on this sh*t, doggies, let him have it:

"I heard it," Bizarre told radio host Angela Yee. "It was absolutely terrible. Terrible. He was trying to act like he was Slick Rick. He was terrible and [just] a God awful rapper. But him trying to do a Slick Rick accent was just absolutely horrible...You don't want that one-on-one with Marshall. Nick, you don't want that one-on-one."

^ No further remarks your honor. SMH.

3. Broken Dipomatic Ties

SMFH. Now this is some bullsh*t, Cam'ron and Jim Jones dissing Kanye West? SMFH. Well, in all fairness, let's keep it a 100 and admit what's what. Cam said some slick sh*t and Jim just happened to be featured on this "Toast" sh*t, right? At the end of the day, Cam got a little loose, thirsty, whatever y'all doggies want to call it and let some sh*t slide. BUT, always a doggy about loyalty, the fact that Jim is on the sh*t, whether he named Ye or not, he is guilty by association. Juelz Santana might wanna hop on the horn ASAP, b/c West may not respond but I'm sure his a** won't forget either. Here's what popped off this week doggies:

"Kanye you a sucka n*gga/Dissed Dame [Dash], so my attitude is f*ck the n*gga/Stuck to Jigga. How you gon' live with that? Took the beat, now come get it back."

^ Yes, doggies, that's IT. No more, no less. The fact that they rhymes over Ye's "Runaway" sh*t really isn't a big deal to me and when y'all think about it, doesn't it make you look even more stupid to rhyme over something your "enemey" produced? LOL. That's like B.I.G. responding to Tupac's "Hit 'Em Up" over the same instrumental. SMFH. Nah, sh*t really isn't adding up. If y'all want to know my HONEST reaction to this? It's nothing. I doubt it is really going to ruffle anydoggy's feathers but I will say this though, I think there was some underlying issues at hand. Think about it, with Jay-Z and Kanye putting together some EP sh*t and just their relationship as a whole, Cam pretty much knows this is gonna pull Kanye away from the Dipset project at least. So why not go at doggy, right? LOL. Cam went OVERLY hard on that sh*t though, "took the beat, now come get it back." LOL. Y'all want to know what Jim had to say about the sh*t?

Jim Jones & Cam'ronKanye West & Jay-Z

"Can't we all get along (this is twigger thn niƱo brown)"

^ LOL. F*ck it, I see it like this, doggies. You break bread and then you gotta eat, f*ck the past. Look at the history between Dame and Jay, even though it got rough toward the end I doubt they would have ever imagined growing this far apart. I mean, Dame thinking Jay has him blacklisted from sh*t? SMFH. D*mn. While Cam and Ye's future is questionable at best, let's remember the good times real quick.

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Jeny Romero

Just wondering doggies, what kinds of women do you all prefer? Not like I would really take notes but I would like to at least make y'all feel like you're special. LOL. Well doggies, today I present to y'all a web gem that could only make for this week's Mrs. Butterworth, Jeny Romero. Don't ask me what happened to the extra "n" in her name, but if you really want to know, I say it got lost gazing at her assets. LOL. Doggies, feast your eyes on the hottest section of Pulse Report, Mrs. Butterworth.

Jeny RomeroJeny Romero

Jeny RomeroJeny Romero

Jeny RomeroJeny Romero

D*mn, sorry doggies, no videos for this Mrs. Butterworth. Share the wealth by putting links in the comments if y'all got any. LOL.

5. "STFU" Honors

SMFH. The things some of y'all's favorite doggies say on a weekly basis is beyond dumb. LMFAO. It's quite "SHUT THE F*CK UP" Honors material. When I decided to go with this section, I thought it would draw up a lot of controversy but turns out it has been praised high and far from a grip of y'all, good looks doggies. LOL. Even though we know RAPPERS contradict themselves on the daily basis and lie about sh*t all the d*mn time, we once again are treated to the top 5 remarks of the past seven days. LMFAO.

1. 5-0 Cent

50 CentYoung Buck

"He's actually [still] signed to G-Unit Records," 50 told radio host Angela Yee last night (September 13) from Yankee Stadium. "Well, I think we need to sit-down. [He can't reach me?] If he can reach you, how can't he reach me? If he's trying to reach you, he could, the same way you could reach me. Buck is impulsive. And even when you see his outbursts, his random outbursts, again, you'll see it be quiet, nobody's talking, negative energy going on and then he'll go 'F*ck that, this and that, I ain't want no G-Unit reunion! I'm gonna kill' -- he's not gonna do none of that. It's just who he is, he just does that randomly. People wondered why I taped the conversation I did a long time ago and it was an explanation, to explain what I had been going through. That was happening periodically."

2. Nicki Minaj

Drake & Nicki MinajDiddy & Nicki Minaj

Everybody knows I can go out and pick a dude and date him," she says. "But I want to do what people think I can't do, which is have the number 1 album in the country and be the first female rapper to sell records like dudes in this day and age.....Once I figure something is irritating people, I'm going to do it more because I like to get on your nerves until you realize how f*cking stupid you are."

3. Lil Boosie

Lil' BoosieHandcuffs

"I'm innocent; I'm completely innocent" stated the rapper after he was transferred from Hunt Correctional Institute in St. Gabriel, LA to East Baton Rouge Paris Prison following the additional charges. "My situation is one that is unjust, unfair and based on an attack against hip-hop and rap as a whole. Even through these circumstances my family, labels and fans have stood by me and I thank you for that. My album Incarcerated comes at a real changing point in my life."

4. Petey Pablo

Petey PabloLegal Gavel

"A lot of people were disappointed. Understand, the situation...anybody that knows me knows that I ain't gonna do nothin' stupid.....We don't do stupid things....At the same time, I apologize to anybody that I may have let down. Understand, I did something that I thought was right at the time."

5. Waka Flocka Flame

Wacka Flocka FlameRihanna

"[Christina Millian], even though my boy went in, apologized, I'm sorry, she's turned up though, for real, she get a 10," Waka told radio host Funkmaster Flex. "[Rosci from '106 & Park,'] 10. Sexy, turned up too. 10, all hours. Real talk. [Kat Stacks,] man, I'd jump off a 100 foot roof before her man. That's 0. Negative a million. [Lil Kim], that's just like a little kid's favorite, a little young shorty from the ghetto. You know shorty got a 10 around here. I don't care about nothing. [Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kardashian sisters], I don't know man, one of them's ugly. Real talk. I ain't even lying. [Amber Rose,] she might wanna cut my hair, she's so fine. Good night, shout-out to my man Kanye [West] too. She's an eight. [Rihanna], she's about a five. That ain't my type. [Kelly Rowland], I don't know, she fine man. She about nine and a half, she'll get the other half when I see her again. She turned up. [Gabrelle Union], sorry [Dwayne] Wade, she's turned up. She is fine. What's happening? 10. [Snooki?] Who the h*ll is that? That sounds like a zero."

***LMFAO, WTF was Waka Flocka Flame on, doggies? Anyways though, LOL, looks like we got to another weekend and no matter where y'all are at now, the weather is changing and it's about time to get the hoodies, jackets and boots out. Even though the weather is getting colder, looks like there is gonna be enough sh*t popping off in the rap game that we'll be warm the next few months. LOL. Aight doggies, enough narrating, I'm outta here, gotta work the weekend restaurant gigs to make-up for that OVERPRICED cruise I went on. SMFH. We outta here, doggies! -BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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