Pulse Report: Kid Cudi Cranks That Superman, Rick Ross Is Hardcore, Drake's Apologies Exposed

Friday, Sep 24, 2010 12:30PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we kick back and watch Kid Cudi messing with that white girl, regurgitate over Rick Ross' hardcore sex tape, expose Drake's f*cked up apologies and oh SOHH much more!

1. Crank That Soulja Boy Nose Candy

^ LOL. Aight doggies, so maybe my headlines are getting corny but y'all get the POINT! LOL. Turns out all that sh*t we heard about Kid Cudi was truer than Nicki Minaj being into girls as much as doggies, huh? SMFH. It's sad b/c Cudi hasn't even reached the amount of fame as a Soulja Boy Tell Em or even a got d*mn LIL Bow Wow for him to admit to being a coke head. SMFH. Now let's be honest, this interview could have been made AFTER the fact that Soulja Boy had everydoggy bugging out over him and Kat Stacks and that "alleged" coke (I still say it's baby powder, doggies). LOL. Anyway, I found that Complex interview so f*cking classic that we gotta analyze this and figure out how doped up this doggy really is. First off, sparking some emo sh*t with Wale??? LOL! "STFU" Cudddi!

"It wasn't a shot, it's just a simple-a** rhyme by a simple-a** rapper. You can't let that sh*t faze you. That's one of those raps that just shows the world that you wack. Why would you even use that as a metaphor [about me punching a kid over a wallet]? Everybody think they Hov. N*ggas ain't got the magic like they think they do; there's only a couple of wizards in this game. I'm a wizard and I know it," Cudi said. "The last album, I let people dis me, throw out those jabs in their verses and have their little slick remarks. This time around, I'm not f*cking around. I have no time to think about other n*ggas. These other motherf*ckers like feeding off another n*gga's energy, so they mention their name. You hear me talk about n*ggas? ... N*ggas are just so thirsty it's ridiculous. I've been eating humble pie forever, and people still call me an a**hole. These people don't know my f*cking life--now I'm going to give them something to talk about."

^ LMFAO!!! What the h*ll is this doggy talking about? Calling Wale a simple a** rapper is like saying Jay-Z is a jacka**, word to the Prez. LOL. I tell y'all doggies this all the d*mn time, what ever happened to "NO COMMENT????" Huh? Then he goes on to talk about he's on some "Me Against the World" bullsh*t? Turns out Cudi just had to get sh*t taken to another level and of course, Wale had some sh*t to say in response:

"n*ggas lettin that liquid cocaine get to them.....lets go then," he tweeted Friday (September 17).

^ LOL!!! See, Wale would have seemed to be speaking out of pocket...if Cuddles didn't say...........

"I started doing cocaine to get through interviews, 'cause people wanted to know a lot about my personal life and I wasn't prepared for a 60 Minutes interview every time. Doing bumps I was able to get through the day, but then I would smoke weed to calm me down--it was the only way I could get through the day without people noticing I was doing it... never thought it was a problem, but I was definitely high-fiving death a couple of times. It took a lot for me to talk about sh*t like this on the album. I don't feel like I need to explain myself to anyone besides the fans. My fans don't believe sh*t until they hear me say it. And those are true Kid Cudi fans. I want them to know the story."

^ SMFH!!!! Wait a second, doggies. Has Cudi sold a million copies yet? Has he lost his mother? Has he been banned from the public and had to fight to get his "Power" back? WTF?!!? This doggy is talking about pressure he suffered through like he's Kanye West!!!??? WTH? Honestly doggies, this is a joke and the fact that he blamed the media, that includes bloggers, is a wack a** excuse. But d*mn, taking blow to do interviews? Was he on Rolling Stone? What about Billboard? Oh, yeah, COMPLEX.....SMFH. And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse? He "breaks" news with an amazing announcement:

"There's another thing people don't know. I have a daughter, born March 26th of this year. Her name is Vada, and she's f*cking awesome. That was eating me up, and it was stressing me out that nobody knew about her. I was trying to escape from that, too. Just trying to figure it out and make everyone happy, it's a lot for somebody my age to handle. I was manning up and dealing with it in what I thought was the right way, but it was the wrong way. I want to be around for her. I can honestly say she was the wake-up call. The reality that it's bigger than just you now--you have a responsibility and there's no more time for mistakes. It's time to stop f*cking around."

^ SMFH. Don't know about y'all, doggies, but this sh*t did not make me go and post up announcements on Facebook or even go tell my little cousins, so WTF? If y'all want to really keep it 100, then let's call it for what it is. This doggy is STILL on that blow, has yet to reach the peak of his career and is on the same level as a Young Money artist at best and we ain't Drake and Nicki. SMFH. Someone hand this doggy a tissue with his punk a** or just say, "We don't believe you, you need more people!"

2. You Won't Believe What Rozay Showed Me

LMFAO! To everyone who thought Rick Ross was just a "Boss" in the prison streets must be rolling to find out that this doggy is getting his Brian Pumper on! LOL!!! Now before y'all say I'm late with this, just peep the math. Turns out Rozay got caught with his pants down and has a sex tape that leaked on the blogosphere? LOL. I can't lie, the thought of even imagining Ross with a chick as bad as Nicki Minaj is enough to make a dog wanna break his bone. Still not caught up on what I'm talking about yet doggies, then feast your eyes on this:

Ayo, this s*** right here is some crack... dis n**** rozay actually knows how to stroke... u gotta watch this in full.. the songs are funny as hell and ricky getting his a****** licked and fingered is even funnier.. by the way this video was made before rick ross blew up and now someone released it.. or is it a publicity stunt to sell more records?? pics taken from video.

^ LOL!!! Funnier? Nah, doggy, that sh*t would be sick as h*ll to watch. In all fairness, doggies, let's keep this sh*t real, the footage is up on ThisIs5-0 so y'all already know it's a suspect situation, right? But before we look any further, y'all can tell the errors all over this. First off, if this was before Ross got famous, then why the h*ll would he have made a sex tape when he's trying to get put on? That's like college ballers juicing up before they get into the big leagues. Some sh*t doesn't add up. OH, and maybe one other small detail that's NOT been reported on, doggies. If you go to the site that's being advertised, "OhMyGodWeb" then y'all will see a banner saying "Fake magazine covers with your picture." SMFH. But in all fairness, let's give "Ross" a chance to defend himself.

"just saw the so called sex tape..the n*gga had a louie flag in back pocket but forgot the tattooes..#fail," Ross tweeted Thursday (September 23).

^ LOL! Well, doggies, I say stick to my explanation with the fake sh*t but at the end of the day, the sextape is FAKE AS H*LL. Now anyone got that Chelsea Handler footage yet? LOL.

3. I'm Sorry 2010

Now doggies, if y'all remember what I said a few months ago about Thank Me Later, it was along the lines of it being kinda a** and not living up to the expectations most doggies had. Well, even though he went platinum there's one area of Drake's game that I ain't feeling. Remorse. Seems like at least once a month he does some type of retracting. So for this section, before y'all get all hot and bothered over Mrs. Butterworth, let's take a look at some of Drake's best punk a** apologies.

Drake Apologizes To Pimp C's Fans

"I just feel that I'm a huge Pimp supporter," explained Drake, who sends the MC an R.I.P. at the end of his verse. "I'm a huge Pimp fan. I feel like I'm extended UGK family. Bun and Pimp are like uncles, dads to me. They're G's. [When I'm around them], I feel like I do around my uncles. They're still the coldest cats in the world, but Bun makes me feel ... he's a legend. His presence, it's like me calling myself Young Bun B, [when I call myself] Young Sweet Jones...It's just seeing a bit of them in myself; by no means did I mean to offend. I heard it was somebody upset about me making that reference. I think it was somebody in his family or something. But I never mean any disrespect. I love rap. Young Sweet Jones is just a little nickname. People really started calling me that before I ever said it in a rap song. I used to rep for Houston so hard. They just be like, 'Man, that's Young Sweet Jones right there.' I just put it in a song. And it sounded dope."

Drake Says Sorry To 2Pac's Fans

"A lot of people also sort of don't understand the meaning of that line," Drake said. "It's not necessarily that I don't love West Coast hip-hop or that I don't love 'Pac now that I'm 22, but that line was just said to show how new I am to hip-hop. And like I said, I was 9 when that happened, so it didn't really affect me. But that song in general was just one of those things that took awhile to finish because it was an opportunity to say a lot of the things on my mind. That always feels good as a rapper, when you can get your thoughts out."

Drake Retracts Dissing Sylvia Rhone

"I can definitely say for me, for furthering the negativity, I can definitely say I apologize," Drake said in an interview. "I don't know her personally to discredit her character. It's not the right thing to do...It was basically [me] feeling trapped. I was courted by somebody and then they just axed everything. I was stuck. They disappeared. And I couldn't find anybody to talk to about the situation. And then to meet again a year later and to have this person forget they ever met me and say that I should go meet at their office so we can talk about signing me. I was kind of in one of those moments like, for real? [But] everybody has those moments where things aren't gonna go perfect...I was looking for an opportunity recently to apologize for how vicious I've been...Not to say I negate my feelings -- I still feel strongly about it. But I'm a person that usually handles things with much more tact."

Drake Feels Dumb Over "Best I Ever Had" A** & Breasts

"That career move was very important to me," he said in an interview. "We've done such a great job of building it all up. It's kind of like people were getting this impression of me that I'm never gonna make a mistake...If you listen to the song, I'm not saying the most graceful thing in the world. It's not the most heartfelt song...I guess one thing I didn't consider is what the song personally means to a lot of women...To those women, I apologize. I do apologize. My intention wasn't to put anyone down. It was to make them laugh. I wanted people to see something visually different."

^ I apologize for this doggy apologizing doggies, and y'all know I don't apologize for sh*t. LMFAO.

4. Mrs. Butterworth: Sayeeda Blue

Doggies, doggies, doggies. Even though I give y'all more reasons each week to really want to devote yourselves to this section, we may have finally found the MVP of the Mrs. Butterworth's thus far. I present to y'all, Sayeeda Blue. Now don't get antsy because if I am correct, we have yet to get graced by a white Mrs. Butterworth, right? I think just Black, Hispanic, and maybe 1-2 Asians? Looks like this new Mrs. Butterworth is breaking down the barriers for Indian women. Doggies, don't worry about skin tones, just worry about how many of these photos you can add to your Tumblr accounts for now. Coco ain't making it on here ANY TIME SOON. LOL. Enjoy doggies.....

Sayeeda BlueSayeeda Blue

Sayeeda BlueSayeeda Blue

Sayeeda BlueSayeeda Blue

Your whistle wet enough, doggies? If not, then feast on some moving visuals. LOL.

^ D*mn, seemed just like yesterday we premiered this section with Nicki Minaj and Amber Rose, right? SMFH. D*mn, well, glad the powers that be let me loose A LITTLE BIT (don't get it twisted doggies, they still got me on the short leash) b/c there are too many beautiful Mrs. Butterworth's out here just waiting for exposure. Do them right, doggies. Spread the word and remember where you peeped at too.

5. "STFU" Honors

LOL!!! Doggies, there comes a time in every artist's career where they should really just SHUT THE F*CK UP and apply the "NO COMMENT" response. However, this ain't monopoly and y'all didn't come to play games, so in any case, we are pulling out these RAPPERS and seeing just what the h*ll they think they are trying to say, or better yet, the point that is trying to be made. SMFH. From a plastic barbie being called one of the greatest to ever touch the microphone or a femcee legend riding with a p*ssy KAT, we have it all this week.

1. Kid Cudi

Kid CudiDMX

"DMX is emo and he's one of the realest n*ggas in the game. Emotion is what hip-hop thrives on. Don't you want your music to have emotion in it? People like to always throw some negative cloud over it. Doesn't even make sense. Jeezy is emo. When that n*gga be rapping, you feel it. You know that n*gga's talking some real sh*t...People are quick to judge my singles one by one, and when the album drop, those be the a**holes that are like, 'Oh sh*t, I totally underestimated Cudi, this sh*t is crazy.' I told you, dumb**: You can't look at snippets from an Oliver Stone film and be able to critique it."

2. Drake

DrakePimp C

"I just feel that I'm a huge Pimp supporter," explained Drake, who sends the MC an R.I.P. at the end of his verse. "I'm a huge Pimp fan. I feel like I'm extended UGK family. Bun and Pimp are like uncles, dads to me. They're G's. [When I'm around them], I feel like I do around my uncles. They're still the coldest cats in the world, but Bun makes me feel ... he's a legend. His presence, it's like me calling myself Young Bun B, [when I call myself] Young Sweet Jones...It's just seeing a bit of them in myself; by no means did I mean to offend. I heard it was somebody upset about me making that reference. I think it was somebody in his family or something. But I never mean any disrespect. I love rap. Young Sweet Jones is just a little nickname. People really started calling me that before I ever said it in a rap song. I used to rep for Houston so hard. They just be like, 'Man, that's Young Sweet Jones right there.' I just put it in a song. And it sounded dope."

3. Baby

BabyNicki Minaj

"Nicki's special," Baby said in an interview. "Nicki's music is Nicki, you heard me? She do her thing, is very creative and it's her. She's representing the women, YM/CB [Young Money/Cash Money]. I think she is [one of the greatest], just watching when you see her name lined with the elite, the elite generals that [the fans] consider as the best and she's still young in the game. So she's got a lot of years. So definitely. To be a woman, that's big though. We've never had a woman to be looked upon like that. I think that's hot. And she's talented like that. I think she surprises the world with her talent and with the creations that she do."

4. Rah Digga

Rah DiggaKat Stacks

"I'm a 50-50 fan of Kat Stacks right now," says Digga. "She's horrible as far as the role-model category, but I don't put her in that category. I like the fact that she's putting these dudes on blast...It's funny to me when rappers get all beside themselves and egotistical and here comes a chick like Kat Stacks, who's proud to tell you that she's been passed around the industry. She's like a virus that y'all just constantly keep feeding. So I'm like, 'hey, if y'all going to keep letting her get away with the sh*t, then kudos to you, Kat.' ... I don't feel like its all her fault. It's a 50-50 shared responsibility."

5. Fabolous

FabolousCondoms

5 Things You Need In Your Closet 1. Good Suit/Good Shoes: Oldest on in the book. 2. Condoms: It might go down in the closet. Leaving to get condoms f*cks up the mood. 3. Jordan Basketball Shorts, Tee & Flip Flops: Ball playa swag. 4. Sneakers Organized In Boxes: Jordans 1-20, etc. 5. Stash Box: Somewhere to hide stuff at run-in-the-closet notice. Or for gift purposes.

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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