Pulse Report: Game Is Still A Jay-Z Groupie, Gucci Mane Is For The Kids, Lil Wayne Locks Down Rikers Island

Friday, May 14, 2010 5:00PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we jump back seven days to find out why Game is such a f*cking Jay-Z groupie, watch killer Gucci Mane reform himself for the kids after jail, take in a dose of Lil Wayne's Rikers Island antics and oh SOHH much more!

[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]

1. Tell Groupie To Get Over It

SMFH. Is Gayme Game really serious? Haven't we already ruled out that his a** is the male equivalent of Kat Stacks by the amount of bullsh*t and name dropping coming out of his mouth at this point? SMFH. Anyways, doggies, turns out Game ruled the Internet for the last week by contradicting the f*ck out of d*mn near every last thing he said. Granted, we all know media can f*cking screw up some quotes, but f*ck, this "F*CK JAY-Z!, I LOVE JAY-Z!" bullsh*t has to once and for all come to a stop.

Produced By: Cool & Dre Complex says: The Compton rapper's forays into name-dropping have recently been hit or miss, but over Cool & Dre's 70s funk-jazz-influenced instrumental, the album's intro is a major hit. Game drops attention-grabbing lines ("Will I ever go at Nas? H*ll nah! / Will I ever go at Jay-Z? I don't know") and doesn't waste a second spewing his fully automatic braggadocio. It's an instant head-nodding banger for a kickoff.

^ SMFH. OK, Game, we get it. You don't know if you want to beef with Jay b/c that would mean your career would be done in......how many minutes? SMFH. Not sure if you doggies are up on Game game, but f*cking Jay-Z RUNS this rap sh*t. Y'all may have thought it was Bugs Monkey, but the fact of the matter is Jay-Z runs EVERYTHING. You want a basketball team? Call Jay-Z. You need some help with management? Call Jay-Z. Need a hot, reliable co-sign on your music? Call Jay-Z. But now what happens when you beef with Jay? Yeah, you might pull a Game and get a few radio interviews like we saw last summer, but now, after all these years? You're d*mn near never gonna get a collaboration with his a**. Sh*t, Game has a better chance at resurrecting Biggie Smalls before Jay would even consider wasting time with his a**. SMFH. Back to Game's contradictions and Jay-Z h*eing:

"Maybe I stepped over the line because I listen to Beyonce's music," Game said in an interview. "My girl listens to Beyonce's music. All girls do. So, when I did that, I got rained on by like, it was like a chick army at my next show. Plus, I didn't really mean that much harm, man. It's just rap, man. As far as Jay, he's a good friend of Pharrell's and he worked with Jay recently. I decided, along with [Dr.] Dre and Pharrell, that being at odds with him wasn't beneficial to what we're trying to do in the future, so later for that."

GameJay-Z

^ SMFH. Is this doggy f*cking serious? Being at odds with him wasn't beneficial? LMFAO!!! Wait a second, does this motherf*cker really believe the sh*t that comes out of his mouth? LMFAO!!!! So I wonder if this was before or after Jay never paid him a time of day beginning in 2005? SMFH. Add Game to Jay's blacklist that already includes Dame Dash, Peedi Crakk, Beanie Sigel, 5-0 Cent, Jaz-O, etc, etc..... It's not enough that Game's albums get pushed back more and more every release and that this R.E.D. Album is pure garbage (we already know this sh*t is horrible, give it up Lame), but the bullsh*t he says in interviews is f*cking tiring at best:

GameNas

"N*gga, I'm ready. Like Nas is my n*gga," Game said in an interview. "If he's ready, then I'm ready. If we stayed in the studios for 7 days, didn't go home, and it had like a shower, and a kitchen in that motherf*cker, seven days we would have an album. And that might see the light of day, because I talked to Nas about it before. I mean maybe. Maybe that will happen."

LMFAO!!! Does Nas really know this doggy? I mean, sh*t, they did a couple of decent songs together but after Damian Marley, the only person we wanna hear Nasty Nas with on a full album is either Jay or AZ, NOBODY ELSE. And hey Game, that's pretty bad if you're breaking this news about approaching him with this collaboration album sh*t, LMFAO, the fact that he never even brought it up in other interviews shows you how much of a lame your career has become. Call up Shyne Shine and work on getting him back to his old self, otherwise, SHUT THE F*CK UP! LOL.

Game <3 Jay-Z

2. It's Gucci, B*tches

LMFAO!!! Gucci, Gucci, Gucci!!! LOL. If I didn't know any better, I would say the amount of attention Gucci Mane has received since being released from the pen is a f*cking joke. Not trying to pull a RZA and diss y'all Southern doggies, but WTF? Are y'all telling me that f*cking Gucci Mane gets more press coverage and attention from doing a punk a** five-month bid than SHYNE, who got his a** shipped to Belize after doing nine YEARS in prison? F*ck outta here, doggies, y'all kidding me? SMFH. But my personal issues out the f*cking window, let's get some coverage on the return of the Ice Man.

"I have made some mistakes in my life that have hurt a lot of people who care about me. I have worked very hard to get past them, but those mistakes have brought me to where I am today, and they will not be repeated. These past six months have been a difficult time, but fortunately I have learned a great deal from my experience. I was able to do a great deal of soul searching; I am coming out with a new attitude towards life...I was forced to miss what should have been one of the proudest moments in my life. This is something that I will make sure never happens again. My time in jail was trying, but I grew from it and am now a stronger and better person. I want to continue on a positive track and truly focus on being a role model to my fans and my community."

^ *Blank Stare* Did y'all read that sh*t correctly, b/c I'm still f*cking in shock right now. "...truly focus on being a role model to my fans and my community......" LMFAO!!! Don't even start with that Plies bullsh*t about him being "smart" and doing the college sh*t, f*ck that, I'm just finding it funny how this doggy is acting like he just got out of a ten-year bid and has found the Lord. SMFH. Gucci, WTF!?!?! So being a role model, that means we're not gonna be hearing or seeing...?

D*mmmmmn, no more murdering for fun? F*ck! SMFH!!!! Well, even though Young Jeezy was asleep when Gucci got out on Wednesday at 12:01 AM, turns out Shawty Lo made the best f*cking Pulse Report statement ever that didn't make it into the "STFU" Honors post today, go ahead Shawty, how do you feel about Gucci's return?

Gucci ManeShawty Lo

"Basically, me and Gucci, when my career started and Gucci's career started, we was in the struggle. We was blackballed," Lo said in an interview. "So me and Gucci, we feel like we're brothers from a different mother. Just to be here, man, it feels good to be here. I been arrested 28 times, and I been convicted four times, so I know how it feels. The hip-hop police got it in [for us]. But at the end of the day, I'm here, thick or thin."

SMFH. Blackballed? 28 arrests? 4 convictions? Did this doggy just completely dry snitch on his punk a**? LMFAO. No bullsh*t though doggies, Gucci Mane's coverage is a f*cking joke to hip-hop that we care more about rappers getting out of jail than what they actually got going on in their lives. I blame this sh*t on Gucci though too b/c the nerve of him to do some bogus a** political speech that he had to READ FROM A F*CKING PIECE OF PAPER rather than use the time in jail to figure out what he wanted to say to the public is a joke. A big f*cking joke.

3. Welcome To Emerald City

SMFH. D*mn, much like what I was saying about Gucci Mane, the amount of f*cking attention we all put on this Lil Wayne situation is f*cking hilarious. I don't know whether to be mad at the media for covering this sh*t like Wayne really DID smuggle in some contraband or if we should just be upset with the Rikers Island internal politics. Well, for the doggies out there with no clue to what we're talking about, catch a glimpse of what went down with Lil Weasel this week:

Lil WayneHandcuffs

Lil Wayne is up to his ears in trouble in prison -- after he was reportedly busted during an early morning search with a pair of earphones and an iPod charger ... a big no-no at Rikers Island. Wayne -- who's serving a one-year stint for a gun charge -- will be charged with an infraction for being in possession of "music contraband."

They even have Rikers Island sources snitches that gave "their" side of the story. SMFH.

"He was found with a charger for an MP3 player and unauthorized earphones," in his Rikers Island cell, a source said. Authorities seized the music pieces at 8 a.m. after a prison rat tipped off officers, who found the music contraband in foil and a bag stuffed in Lil Wayne's trash.

Yeah, I know doggies, it's 2010 but sometimes we have to forget about all this high-technology and the fact that it's "cool" for entertainers to get sentenced to one-year prison bids and then get out and do this Gucci Mane press release bullsh*t, but we have to open our f*cking eyes. Do y'all realize what all this hype is about? A F*CKING MP3 player! SMFH. I swear, y'all thought the news about Lil Wayne knocking up some new rap b*tch was wild but now that he is finally locked away we STILL manage to try and get the latest on his moment-to-moment actions.

The Grammy Award-winning rapper faces potential discipline after jail officers found a charger and headphones for a digital musicplayer stashed in his cell Monday, city Correction Department spokesman Stephen Morello said. The items are considered contraband, as inmates can listen to music only on radios and headphones sold at the jail commissary. Lil Wayne's lawyer, Stacey Richman, had no immediate comment Thursday. Officers said the music player itself turned up in another inmate's nearby cell. Both men were charged with infractions that aren't crimes and will be subject to a jail disciplinary process, not a court. Punishments can include being segregated from other inmates.

I could kinda understand why there was so much fuss about Erykah Badu showing off that fat a**, NUDE, in public, but this sh*t with Wayne is like some "SNL" sketch that ain't funny. STOP IT. If y'all want to know the truth, I think this sh*t is bogus as f*ck and is just an attempt by Rikers Island to draw some attention like when that prison guard got fired for "spying" on Weasel. SMFH. F*ck outta here with that bullsh*t, are we really supposed to feed into these lies? See, the sad sh*t is that I feel like I'm the only one who sees beyond the f*ckery, that there is always some underlying attempts by publicists and even marketing teams that work diligently to fool everyone. Come on doggies, y'all really believe that Waka Flocka Flame nearly got murked TWICE and not only lived to talk about it but ended up burning up those ATL streets afterward with a buzz that f*cking Jae Millz WISHED he had? Y'all take it how you want, just remember Bulldog told you first.

4. Tell Groupie To Get Over It Part Two

Doggies, please believe me when I say this sh*t. NEVER SUPPORT CHARLES HAMILTON, Charles Hamilton is one confused little guy. I f*cked with him back before Soulja Boy kinda f*cked up his image and then sh*t just turned into #FAIL after #FAIL after #FAIL with the unclear freestyle losses, beefing with Wale, f*cking up the J-Dilla legacy, getting handled by Mary J. Blige's daughter, etc, etc. Cut that sh*t out, Chucky. Anyway, I'm gonna take a new approach just for this doggy by putting up his entire "letter" to Eminem. This sh*t is a f*cking borderline suicide love note and makes "Stan" seem like f*cking child's play.

Charles HamiltonEminem

Dear Slim,

In 1999, I wrote you and Dr. Dre a letter. In that letter, I told you how your music has impacted me. I asked if I can be a musician for Aftermath, which probably turned you off, because everyone asks to be down with the "wave" at the time. In 2000, I wrote you another letter, just to tell you how much you saved my life. When I got rejected by Regis High School, I cried for HOURS listening to "Stan", because I feel like I gave my 100% to my TACHS exam. After my rejection letter to Xavier, I cried to the whole album. I felt like believing in education was meaningless. And strangely, your music which pissed off gays and lesbians kept me going. I think what you and ICP have in common is the subliminal messages of encouragement. I never tried to backmask your music and say what you're saying in reverse (until about 2 weeks ago; was just curious if you were one of the "them" I spent my entire career trying to not be; you're not).

As of late, I found myself in a "Relapse" rut. I am nicer than any rapper that is to come. Period. And I don't have a need to battle a Wale or a Cory Gunz to prove it. I know my lyrical ability, whether these hip-hop sites will admit to it or not. "He can't make a good song!" "He hasn't had a dope project since The Pink Lavalamp!" and "Charles Hamilton sold out!" haunt me to this day. Was it the "Brooklyn Girls" video? The "Charles Hamilton Is Back" trailer (the song is called "New Music From Charles Hamilton". And then, there's the recent self-ether attack of this pic...

Not much pink in my pics because pink is inside. But I know. "Charles you look MAD funny in that pic". And dude, I felt kinda awkward takin that pic because of your past lyrics and how I feel about same sex relations. Funny huh?

Moving on. I was told not to put my freestyle to "Beautiful" on Binge3 because of the references to your daughter and Paul. I meant no harm, dude. I hope you don't diss me for it. I also hope you indeed write songs to my beats.

I sound like such a groupie right now, it's disgusting. It's the inner Alison.

All I know is, I completed my dharma when I met you in Detroit. I have never felt better my entire life. We kicked it. Had a chat. Laughed. I think the Newports pissed you off. I hope not. I mighta crossed the line asking to live in your basement, but "you only get one shot..." I figured if we gon be label mates and I'm willing to listen to anything you say musically, I might as well be a roommate. And I felt like I only had one chance to ask you. You are that elusive. So, sorry if I weirded you out then.

I hear all the time you wouldn't give a f*ck about me because I didn't sell any records. I hope it's not true. Inside, I know it's not, but hey. I am someone who, once something is on the surface, it takes a lot to remove it. Pine-Sol.

lol one of my other wishes was to ride Razor scooters with Raven-Symone through Harlem. Some wishes don't come true, and don't come true so easy.

You remind me of my brother Marcus (in fact........), because as much as I wanted to spend everyday getting picked on by him, I had to move to the city that is high on Coke 100% of the time (never sleeps). I wish I could spend more time with him. Then again... f*ck that.

Here's a story. The last time I was in Ohio, we had a multiple-hour chat. He said he thought I didn't wanna be with him, and I said I thought he hated me. He got more out of my dad than I did. He felt the same way. We both ended up lost.

Thank sunny days I found you.

You probably will read this. A lot of people will. Not scared (#ImNotAfraid). "I'm Not Afraid" is what is influencing me to do what I'm doing now. You think I'm scared of LA streetlights? F*ck outta here. Kill me with my iPod on peak (Apple holla at me, MTV come find me). I will be playing the 8 Mile soundtrack, I will be playing your catalogue for all that. lol. But this is for me. I feel like having access to a studio in which I went to school in the same building, kinda spoiled me. I'm working for this.

So radio stations, I want a million plus spins on "I'm Not Afraid".

And Starchasers, I hope my music influences you to find the inner lightbulb within and blackout. Find your destiny through my music. I make DestinyFinding music. I never tell you to kill your parents, worship the Devil, sell drugs, or do anything that will compromise who you are. When critics say I try to hard to be different, I tell them (inserts a plug for "Normalcy"). And if you are a young'n (even an old gamer) in the streets tryna survive, I feel you. And I want to feel you again.

We will never lose touch, DimmingStarchasers. Not by a mile.

Hey Sega. Don't touch my Dreamcast in your life.

Will I be back in Simone's arms? Will I be Eminem's public favorite rapper? Will I get my drive back to write the gutter shit?

#ImNotAfraid

Anyway Marsh, I'm going in and out of my HamiltonianZones again. Just wanted to let you know that I appreciate everything about you, and the next time I get on a mic, a stage, or in a cypher, I will be doper than anything you've ever witnessed. Besides, Alison needed a white rapper to look up to, and Charles (well, I) have never felt an urge so strong in my life.

Truly yours,

CH

PS: We should rap together, too!

NO F*CKING COMMENT. He lost killed himself.

5. "STFU" Honors

LMFAO! D*mn, I'm still tight about having to use Shawty Lo up above instead of saving his dumb a** "28 arrests, 4 convictions" bullsh*t for this section, oh, what is this section y'all doggies ask? It's time once again for the "Shut The F*ck Up" Honors post where we take the five most quotable of quotable quotes from these RAPPERS and make them look, feel and sound stupid as sh*t. LOL. This week, we got Foxy Brown finding the Lord, Remy Ma thinking we want to hear her unsigned husband and her incarcerated a** on an album, Redman speaking...kindly about Kat Stacks? LMFAO, Shawty Lo actually predicting Jay-Z's fame and Drake being tight about people treating him like he's a.....new rapper? LMFAO!!!

1. Foxy Brown

"I was completely deaf. 100 percent. I just knew that God had got me then. Because I kept running and dodging him and he kept giving me signs and little warnings, and they say God will get you first in private and if he don't get you then, then he'll get you in public."

2. Remy Ma

Remy-Ma-2010-02-23-300x300.jpgPapoose

"I be killing him on all the tracks I'm on," Remy playfully said about collaborating with Pap. "[laughs] I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Actually, we have so many songs recorded together and he's like, 'We're doing the Mr. & Mrs. Mackie mixtape.' We're actually doing an album together and we have numerous songs together...We have a lot of songs we did together and it's crazy. I actually want to be there though, so, that should be soon because like I said, I'll be coming home sooner than you guys think. It's gonna be so sad. [smile]."

3. Redman

RedmanKat Stacks

"I'm a grown a** man, I'm grown as f*ck," Red said in an interview. "I'm tuning in and seeing what's going on. Somebody told me about the Kat Stacks -- I think she's cute, I gotta love her because she's my people, she's my heritage, she's my culture. I just want her to have a goal. What's your goal after that? I'm sure she's smart, I'm sure she's got other sh*t going on besides f*cking with giving out numbers. When you get on the Internet, use that sh*t to your advantage."

4. Shawty Lo

Shawty LoJay-Z

"I started listening to Jay-Z around the Hard Knock Life and was like, 'D*mn, that dude got some real sh*t.' I said it sounded like he was rapping about me because I was heavy the streets, doing what I do. And I just felt like he was talking about me and I used to tell my friends, they used to be listening to other stuff and I used to say, 'This man right here is gonna take over. He's gonna be the bigger rapper at the end of the day.' I seen that, my boy would say, 'Nah,' and then I was just listening to The Blueprint 3 and Jay-Z when he say 'He made Puff pass cause nobody could f*ck with Puff when Puff had it.'"

5. Drake

Drakescarface-movie-300x300-2009-01-02.jpg

"That's probably my biggest goal is to get back into acting and really pick the right projects," he said in an interview. "I've been reading different scripts but I know what I want to do and what type of project I want to be involved in and I've just been getting the typical projects that they'd offer to a new rapper, and it's like, ehh. That's not really what I want to do, or how I see myself...I can actually act. I've studied acting. I've studied the craft and I'm also very open to receiving a role and committing my time whether it's two weeks, a month, two months, before the movie starts shooting to really get into that role."

***LMFAO!!! Even though we didn't have a whole bunch of beef/bullsh*t take off this week, this was a funny a** Pulse Report just off the strength of Gucci Mane and Lil Wayne by themselves, sh*t, at this point we should all expect Game to never stay true to his word and Charles Hamilton's "letter" to Eminem had to be the most suspect sh*t we have seen in the past five years. Didn't realize @sohhdotcom was gonna run my Baby Mama sh*t a day before Mother's Day, but f*ck it. LOL. Enjoy the weekend, doggies!***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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