Pulse Report: Shyne Issues G-Unit's Death Certificate, Jim Jones & Cam'ron Are BFF's, Solar Was Guru's She-Thing?

Friday, Apr 23, 2010 11:55PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, we push the clock back seven days and re-cap Shyne's G-Unit death certificates, watch Jim Jones kiss and make-up with Cam'ron, no h*mo, try to find out if Guru was blowing tracks out or Solar and oh SOHH much more!

[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]

1. Welcome To New York City

Is it just me or does Shyne really keep making New York City references on freestyles when his a** is still stuck out in Belize? LMFAO. Turns out the "hardest" rapper in the game right now, as quoted by @BulldogButterworth, really is turning out to be some soggy sh*t at the end of the day. SMFH. I really had high hopes with everything that represented what Shyne was about. The sniffing coke in the Trump Tower with some model women b*tches, packing heat in the trunk of the hooptie while driving down I-95 and the "Po" references. But now it turns out my respect for "that" Shyne has flown out the f*cking window and we're stuck with this wack a** ex-Bad Boy rapper.

"Ok, so I just had a conversation with Po," Nah Right blogger Eskay wrote. "He wanted to explain why there's been such a drastic change in his rhyme style/flow since his release from prison...Here's the gist of it: That guy we used to know pre-2001? The guy who shot up the club? The guy who stood in front of the judge and took a 10 year bid? The guy who used to spit like this? That guy is dead. That was the guy Jamal Barrow used to be, and he no longer wants to be that man. That man made choices that he'll have to deal with for the rest of his life, and put his mother through one of the worst experiences any mother could ever have to go through. And he doesn't want to be that man anymore. He explained, in no uncertain terms, that in order for him to move forward with his life, and stay on the right path, he feels he needs to make drastic changes, and the flow you hear now, is just a small part of that. So the Shyne you hear now, like it or not, for better or for worse, is the Shyne we'll be hearing from here out. You don't have to like it, but I think you have to respect it."

SMFH. Sh*t, if you doggies thought that sh*t was pathetic, peep this:

"Shyne keeps callin' me but I don't wanna pick up," Elliot Wilson wrote Monday (April 19). "I hate it. Hate that he keeps callin'. Hate what I would have to say him. Hate the way he sounds. Hate what people are saying about the way he sounds. Really hate what people are saying about him. Ask around. Find out, he wants to sound like that. Doesn't ever want to be viewed as a Big soundalike again. Never again. Won't accept criticism. Constructive or not. But then what could I tell him? It's not really my job...Hear he's working with Irv Gotti now which might explain him jumping all over the current big hits last week. Like Irving too but don't like the moves he's making. Hate that Po's reigniting an old tired beef with 5-0 Cent. Hate what bloggers are saying about him."

Wait, I just realized. No f*cking Bad Boy artist has been able to maintain their same rapping style/swag after being under Diddy's watch. Harlem boy Mase turned into Pastor Betha. Loon went looney into religion, too. Sh*t, f*cking Mark Curry is taking the Superhead route and writing tell-all bogus a** books. SMFH. What ever happened to respecting the game and keeping sh*t behind doors? SMFH. Enough of that sh*t, let's get to the juicy sh*t. Shyne dissed 5-0 Cent last week and turns out Lloyd Banks had some sh*t to get off his chest in response:

"I didn't hear it, actually," Banks explained to hip-hop personality Miss Info. "I spoke with Fif today -- he just laughed about it. I heard some other things that Shyne put out and I'll be the first to tell you and the world, he's very, very wack. I'm telling you right now, it was something in the foodor something, he's at a D-Class rapper right now. You know how the dude that wakes up and 'I'm a rap right now because my homie's doing it.' You don't hear it? What kind of style he's got right now? I'm not digging that right now...I didn't know what to think..."

Lloyd BanksShyne

LMFAO!!! Hate to admit it, but the kid has a point. Right now, Shyne's presentation is wack and trying to heat up the freestyles with some off-balance new voice sh*t is like him trying to get a new following of fans. SMFH. Well, someone must have sent the-artist-formerly-known-as-"Po" the message because we were blessed with a hard diss going at them Unit boys.

"The champ is here and not a minute too quickly, like Mike, I'm back to the city to drop 50," Shyne raps. "Upon my return, I empty the cartridge, got fat while I was gone, now I'ma send you where God is/Ah-hem, let me clear my throat -- when you talk to the Feds, spell my name with a 'y'/I hate rats and chumps, you guys ain't gorillas, you're f*cking chipmunks/F-Y-I, I'm the king of the jungle..."


LMFAO!!!! What the f*ck is a chipmunk? Is this really the best material Shiney has going on for him right now? He can't be f*cking serious, can he? Well, it's obvious he wants a beef. Now the funny sh*t, which y'all doggies are probably gonna disagree with, is that he's going to win this sloppy a** "beef" if it really takes off. First off, Shyne has EVERYONE wanting to f*ck with him, horrible a** voice or not, he has Jadakiss, Rick Ross, DJ Khaled, Fat Joe, the entire Def Jam label, duh, and oh yeah, a better f*cking contract deal than the imaginary one Lloyd Banks and Tony Yayo have. Second, the G-Unit victory flag has been down since 2005 2006 with flops courtesy of Rotten Apple and Buck the World. Even if they don't say sh*t back to Shine, as they continue to flop and become more irrelevant in rap everyone can credit Shyne Shine for putting an axe through their a**es even when he really didn't. Third, the G-Unit crew doesn't even have a relevant leader that is capable of fighting for their brand, image and sales. What ever happened with Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Rick Ross, T.I. or any of those other beefs, 5-0? Yeah doggies, 5-0 Cent is done. We'll see how this sh*t pans out, but as I see it, Shine gets credited for slamming their a**es up if they don't attempt to drop a diss track and instead cop out to some wack a** statement/interview saying "why" they won't address him like Banks has already done. SMFH. Rappers, I f*cking love rappers. I could be wrong, but what do y'all think? Y'all riding with the "new" Shine on this or y'all still G'd up? Oh, and before y'all doggies get upset, just remember, I write the harsh realities of this sh*t. LMFAO. Right 5-0?

2. Me & My Brother, My Brother & Me

SMFH. D*mn, I look like an a**hole, don't I doggies? Sh*t, it wasn't but a few months ago that I told all of y'all that a Dipset reunion WOULD NEVER F*CKING HAPPEN and now look, f*cking Jimmy Jones and Cam'ron are not only getting back together but gonna put out a f*cking album together, too? LMFAO. I can't lie, this sh*t is kinda stupid ridiculous as we all watch in amazement like it's a f*cking Fugees reunion. SMFH. For y'all that wasn't paying attention this week, here's what went down:

Cam'ron And Jim JonesJim-Jones-Camron-2010-04-19-300x300.jpg

"It's 2010, and this is something I gotta get off my chest...You've known us from back when we didn't have what we have now, so you remember, that above all, me and Cam, we still brothers. And we're building on getting back on track but first, I apologize for being a rude brother, for saying things publicly without first trying to handle them privately. I apologize for not leading by example because what I didn't realize at the time, I was venting but it wasn't all about me. There were other people whose dreams were also part of this movement...We had this luxurious life, but the rest of the family, they had slow down because of the ball I started rolling. I'd be pissed at me too...But God works in mysterious ways...a couple people took vacations, and there's a lane that's wide open. What we built solo since Dipset grew apart, we can combine and make even stronger together. I needed to clear my conscious before we work on building a bigger and better movement. Plus, consider it fair warning to everyone else."

^ Gotta give Jimmy some credit, he DID call this sh*t a minute ago but no one wanted to take him seriously, not even Juelz Santana. LOL. F*ck it though, and just to prove that he wasn't talking out of his a**, Cam even said the sh*t was in motion.

CamronJim Jones

"There's nothing really Diplomats-related to show you yet. We all have our own obligations right now, our own projects. I have this Boss of All Bosses Pt. 2.5 mixtape with Vado and DJ Drama dropping soon. But yes, me and Jim have been speaking, we're working out the mechanics of this, and looking at our options right now. If it makes sense, it can happen."

Honestly, I don't know what the f*ck to think about this. I kept wishing the sh*t would go down but now seeing that it's all REALLY REALLY REALLY good coming along, should we vow to go out and cop their albums? Let's be honest, Dipset NEVER sold albums, even those Diplomat albums did fairly well and that's with Just Blaze and Kanye West on-board. And for anyone who thought this sh*t was still bogus and just some good old f*ckery at its best:

"I heard about the announcement," Jones said referring to his reunion. "I heard there's two gentlemen that put aside their differences and things like that. That's kinda good for the rap culture. I'm glad two young gentlemen as theyself get money and could put their differences aside and say they're gonna do another album for the people. Big up to them...I'm waiting to hear the next press release or the next cover or maybe song, I'm waiting like everybody. [laughs] These guys are good, Dipset."

^ LMFAO. F*cking smart a** Jim Jones always have some slick sh*t to say, keeping things really half-a**, but f*ck it. Y'all heard and saw him acknowledge this reunion sh*t is on. Now my question to y'all is, is it REALLY gonna be a hot summer for Dipset now? Was this really a strategic move or do y'all feel like me and think their money-intentions will make us sh*t on their music? We see how big of a difference Cam and Mase doing some record last year made, so who gives a f*ck about this? Whatcha doggies thinking?

3. I Won't Tell If You Don't Want Me To

Look doggies, don't get sh*t f*cked up. This week we lost one of the biggest emcees to have helped uplift hip-hop and take it to some unseen levels. Come on, f*cking rap x jazz over some dope a** sounds and lyrics? Some may have done it here and there, but Guru laid sh*t out like a f*cking grand master and his a** wasn't even New York-bred. Sh*t. Now with that said, well, RIP Guru, there, let's get down to the real sh*t storm that embodies Solar, the "last" and "only" person to know the "truth" about Guru. SMFH. First off, you doggies all realize this "final" letter is bogus as f*ck and was written by Solar, right? Please, do not bother me with some, "Well Mr. Butterworth, he may have woken up from his coma and verbally told Solar," NO. Stop that sh*t, that's like saying you caught your pops stuffing your stockings and saying he just wanted to add extra sh*t that Santa already left. STOP THE F*CKING LIES. To anyone confused, here is the full letter "allegedly" written by Guru.

"I, Guru, am writing this letter to my fans, friends and loved ones around the world. I have had a long battle with cancer and have succumbed to the disease. I have suffered with this illness for over a year. I have exhausted all medical options.

I have a non-profit organization called Each One Counts dedicated to carrying on my charitable work on behalf of abused and disadvantaged children from around the world and also to educate and research a cure for this terrible disease that took my life. I write this with tears in my eyes, not of sorrow but of joy for what a wonderful life I have enjoyed and how many great people I have had the pleasure of meeting.

My loyal best friend, partner and brother, Solar, has been at my side through it all and has been made my health proxy by myself on all matters relating to myself. He has been with me by my side on my many hospital stays, operations, doctors visits and stayed with me at my home and cared for me when I could not care for myself. Solar and his family is my family and I love them dearly and I expect my family, friends, and fans to respect that, regardless to anybody's feelings on the matter. It is my wish that counts. This being said I am survived by the love of my life, my sun KC, who I trust will be looked after by Solar and his family as their own. Any awards or tributes should be accepted, organized approved by Solar on behalf myself and my son until he is of age to except on his own.

I do not wish my ex-DJ to have anything to do with my name likeness, events tributes etc. connected in anyway to my situation including any use of my name or circumstance for any reason and I have instructed my lawyers to enforce this. I had nothing to do with him in life for over 7 years and want nothing to do with him in death. Solar has my life story and is well informed on my family situation, as well as the real reason for separating from my ex-DJ. As the sole founder of Gang Starr, I am very proud of what Gang Starr has meant to the music world and fans. I equally am proud of my Jazzmatazz series and as the father of Hip-Hop/Jazz. I am most proud of my leadership and pioneering efforts on Jazzmatazz 4 for reinvigorating the Hip-Hop/Jazz genre in a time when music quality has reached an all time low. Solar and I have toured in places that I have never been before with Gang Starr or Jazzmatatazz and we gained a reputation for being the best on the planet at Hip-Hop/Jazz, as well as the biggest and most influential Hip-Hop/Jazz record with Jazzmatazz 4 of the decade to now. The work I have done with Solar represents a legacy far beyond its time. And we as a team were not afraid to push the envelope. To me this is what true artists do! As men of honor we stood tall in the face of small mindedness, greed, and ignorance. As we fought for music and integrity at the cost of not earning millions and for this I will always be happy and proud, and would like to thank the million fans who have seen us perform over the years from all over the world. The work I have done with Solar represents a legacy far beyond its time and is my most creative and experimental to date. I hope that our music will receive the attention it deserves as it is some of the best work I have done and represents some of the best years of my life."


Now, is it me or did y'all spot 9 f*cking references to this no-named Solar doggy in Guru's final letter? Even more impressive is how Guru just happens to forget his f*cking legacy with DJ Premier, not even addressing him by his actual name, and talks about the "success" he made with those JazzMatazz records. GET THE F*CK OUTTA HERE SOLAR! F*ck playing the blind contributor, this sh*t is such a f*cking disgrace and I can't believe this doggy really thinks he's getting away with it. Instead of showing y'all all the family statements and DJ Premier even saying he won't acknowledge the bogus a** letter, let's look at what things really could and probably were. Solar and Guru rode for one another, but Solar was Guru's b*tch.

"That's untrue, completely unfounded," he said. "Guru is a family man, I'm a family man. I don't want to say anything against anybody living a certain type of lifestyle -- everybody is free to live their life how they choose to live it -- but that's not my lifestyle or Guru's lifestyle. We're straight men. He dealt with women and family. I dealt with women and family. There's never been any blurring of the lines whatsoever."

We can argue this sh*t over and over, but let's point out the facts. Guru gets a french guy named Solar to be his "partner" and is in full control of his body, career and image? Even to the point that he will take care of his own son? SMFH. What about the baby's mother, or how about YOUR mother, Guru? Okay, so y'all might argue and say that he wasn't cool with the family. Hhhmmm.....why would a successful rapper completely cut-off ties with his/her loved ones? Maybe b/c of a sexual preference? To be honest with y'all, I have no idea what the real deal is much like a lot of other people out here but there is some sh*t even stronger than f*ckery going on. Y'all think Guru & Solar were rolling like Omar from "The Wire?"

4. The Notorious R.O.S.S.

Yeah doggies, I had to address this sh*t, but we'll make it real quick and brief. Rick Ross has officially become the new Biggie Smalls. Hate it or love it, who gives a f*ck b/c as y'all read these words, Diddy and Officer Ricky Teflon Don Rick Ross are putting in more work. Y'all should have noticed by now, but the way Ross and Diddy are sharing chemistry on tracks is pretty f*cking insane. Y'all heard these records yet?

Don't worry doggies, this sh*t ain't no accident neither:


"Most definitely, we making a lot of big moves," Ross told radio host Ricky Smiley. "We making a lot of big moves, you know what I'm saying? Shout-out to Diddy, the Ciroc Boys. You know what I mean? We got a big announcement we gonna be making real soon. And we got a lot of big ventures we're looking into so I'm excited. June 29th is the tentative date [for my album] we're looking at right now.
"Shout-out to the big homie, Diddy. We gonna make a big announcement soon. We got a lot of plans laid out for this year. You know what I mean? It's all love."

Look, don't be mad, be happy that Diddy has found his new Biggie Smalls. Not sure about y'all, but I'm seeing a Def Jam/Maybach Music/Bad Boy/Interscope deal being in the works and whether y'all want to admit it or not, Ross and Diddy murk sh*t together. And even if y'all don't like the Biggie comparison, respect what this does for both of them. Y'all laugh at Rossy but his street credibility in Miami is there, so Diddy gets more hood passes b/c he wasn't too gangsta with those pop-a** Press Play records. In turn, f*ck Ciroc, Ross gets to bury his correction officer ties by getting that big a** co-sign from one of the top Forbes rap kings. No brainer, this move is solid all the way through.

5. "STFU" Honors

LMFAO. This week once again brings some highlights for our "Shut The F*ck Up" Honors feature as we induct the legendary Scarface for talking extremely shut-the-f*ck-up talk about his new album and even see some repeats courtesy of Lloyd Banks and Nicki Minaj. Even though it was a close finish, Fat Joe and Stat Quo made it into the section at just the nick of time. SMFH. What's up with these rappers this week?

1. Scarface

ScarfaceScarface (Dopeman Music)

"Because this new situation that I'm in and this new record that I'm gonna release, my new studio album is gonna be a totally different me. I got a combination that I'm finna put together on this new album, not the mixtape, on my new album I have a totally different situation. I got a beautiful f*cking theme that's never been done before in hip-hop."

2. Fat Joe

Fat JoeFat-Joe-2010-04-22-300x300.jpg

"We're authors and we should be held to that. I'm by far one of the realest rappers if you check my history and what I've done or wherever I come from. I have a justifiable story."

3. Nicki Minaj

Nicki MinajNicki-Minaj-2010-04-22-300x300.jpeg

"You should be happy I'm here even though I'm showing you b*tches how to do it. But umm, I get more love than hate. So you know, it's expected when people see there's one person getting shine, it makes them feel unhappy with themselves."

4. Stat Quo

Stat QuoDJ-Khaled-2010-04-22-300x300.png

"I could be like the greatest commercial actor of all time. I could be doin' commercials for Burger King and McDonald's, and I'll be so ill wit it that they have to hire me to do both of 'em, that would be dope, right? Forget the movies, I'm trying to do commercials."

5. Lloyd Banks

Lloyd Banks & 50 CentJimmy-Iovine-50-Cent-2010-04-22-300x300.jpg

"50 heard from them," Banks told radio personality Cosmic Kev referring to Intescope Records. "They calling right now trying to figure out how to get the boy back in the building. They have to drop the apology bag first. You can drop that bag and say, 'I'm sorry. I will never ever doubt you again.' That's just a contract to talk. So it's still not solidified. Then I might just take it and go get a little drop and something."

***R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar, R.I.P. Guru, R.I.P. Guru, F*ck Solar!!! --BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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