Pulse Report: Eminem Lyrically Slaughters, Diddy Watches Over Nicki Minaj's A**, Kat Stacks Gets Pimped
Friday, Apr 30, 2010 12:25PM
In this week's Pulse Report, we push the time clocks back seven days and re-cap why Eminem is still slaughtering emcees when he's d*mn near 40, see how Diddy is managing Nicki Minaj's a**, laugh at Kat Stacks getting pimped, find out which G-Unit member is outshining 5-0 Cent and oh SOHH much more!
[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]
1. The Great White Hype
I won't even bullsh*t you doggies, some of y'all make me laugh my a** off with the comments of "white honky" and "fat Asian blogger" but at the end of the day, we might all have to bow down to the white boys running the sh*t out of hip-hop: Paul Wall, Yelawolf, Lil Wyte,
Asher Roth and oh yeah, that little guy named EMINEM. Hate it or love it doggies, this motherf*cker ain't going nowhere and besides a dope a** album getting ready to drop, he's got some lyrical a** rappers about to join his Shady business:
"We gonna make the official announcement and probably have a few release parties," Royce Da 5'9 revealed in an interview. "It should probably be done in a week or two I'm guessing. It was kinda mutual, I inquired about it, I sat down with Paul [Rosenberg] and it just so happened Em was listening to the album and was saying such great things about it and once it got on his radar, you know how Em is. Once something gets on his radar, that's it. He decided he wanted to pull the trigger on it, he's gonna pull the trigger on it. We were just overwhelmed because he knew how good I was, in his own mind, -- but I don't think he knew how good Crooked, Joell and Joey was and then that four-group dynamic, I just think he looked at it as it was refreshing to hip-hop, the same way we looked at it...I think it's going to put us in a position that shows people we can be successful on a mainstream level too. I feel like we conquered the underground -- we got an opportunity to reach a broader audience together."
^ Yeah, I said I would cool off with the long-a** quotations but the sh*t Royce says right there is some evidence that hip-hop has a f*cking problem and it's called Eminem, D12 and Slaughterhouse. They've been talking about this bullsh*t since last year but now that Royce says the paperwork is looking good, sh*t, can y'all even imagine the promotion these motherf*ckers are gonna get?
F*ck having them featured next to hot a** Angela Yee or on DJ Whoo Kid's Shade 45 radio shows, we're talking about magazine advertisements, online promotional advertisements, free Dr. Dre production, f*ck, they're even gonna get caught up into them Eminem rumors just off being on the label. Wonder what Raekwon and them boys are thinking about now. LOL. So Slaughterhouse is official, but wait, what the f*ck is this?
OH SH*T!!!! "Try to turn me down, get f*cked with a volume nob!?!" D*mn. This freestyle has got to be the hottest sh*t since.........oh yeah, Eminem's "Forever" verse. F*cking insane, doggies, and to top that off, Slim has more heat for y'all?
"It's not a dark song, it's an uplifting song," Rosenberg tells Billboard.com about the Boi-1da-produced track, which is scheduled to be released this week. About the album's new direction -- reflected in the album's recent title change -- Rosenberg says the set will be "more accessible to more fans. [Eminem] had pretty much completed a whole second album worth of material but at some point he took a step back, looked at it and said, 'I think I want to record some more,'" he says. "But in recording, the album started to sound so different and was going in such a different direction that he decided to keep it going and turn it into a whole new album. The last album was really for the core Eminem fans. I think this record will open that up a bit." Producers confirmed on the album include Dr. Dre, Just Blaze, Jim Jonsin and Mr. Porter.
So this Recovery album is gonna have some dope a** beats on it, but f*ck, Em, why don't you ever go for some real, gritty a** street anthem?
"I think the only one that you didn't mention is Havoc," Em revealed to radio host Angela Yee. "He sent me a couple of tracks and one of them, they were both cool, but one of them was crazy with that sh*t and I just had to do something to it and I'm just happy I got to work with him."
D*MN!!! Call me a f*cking rap groupie, but can y'all imagine this sh*t? You take Em who hands-down has the best f*cking flow in rap (RIP Guru, F*CK SOLAR) and you take away Dr. Dre but put it on sh*t by these producers:
June 22nd, call up your favorite rappers and tell them to push their sh*t back, Slim Shady already has the summer locked and it ain't even May yet, doggies. SH*T. Oh my fault, @sohhdotcom, "so what do y'all doggies think about Em's new sh*t?" LOL.
2. Watch Your Back
D*mn, if I might say so myself, Diddy gets more a** than toilet paper b/c every few months he has "allegedly" f*cked some female rapper or singer. SMFH. Cassie, Trina and now Nicki Minaj? LMFAO!!! Hold the f*ck on, if Diddy is managing her now, isn't Nicki kinda pulling a Cassie and throwing the p*ssy out and seeing if he bites? LOL. Y'all know me, never one to really get too involved with the rumor sh*t, but I had to do some investigating.
WOW. I don't know who I need to talk to to get in these cool people circles, but I feel more like an outsider every second. Rawse and Nicki Minaj were reportedly out at the LA nightclub Guys & Dolls with Diddy and the rest of the Ciroc Boys. Somebody also said that TI was there, but I didn't think TI was coming out like that yet. Now, I'm not trying to start anything, but somebody said it looked like Nicki and Amber Rose were a couple there. Again, not starting anything. These two are friends anyway.
D*mn, so after reading that I think to myself, "D*mn doggy, so the Internet is saying that Nicki and Amber are beating each other's p*ssy's up?" But then I read some other sh*t elsewhere saying:
After the shindig, cameras caught Diddy and Nicki Minaj holding hands in the parking lot, which to me means SQUAT. I would question this gesture if they weren't connected in any shape or form, but since Diddy has taken Minaj under his wing- this makes complete sense. And it should mean the same for you as well.
No f*cking, right? Not really, big ups to @NecoleBitchie who showed proof that Diddy and Nicki might be recording tracks by day and f*cking through the city at night:
Sh*t, best we get out of this is a 50/50 shot at guessing but I'll say this much, if you think Diddy didn't lay the pipe game down on little Ms. Barbie, then George W. Bush is currently serving his third term. SMFH. Here's a fun bonus, Nicki tries to make us feel dumb for thinking she has a** pads. LOL, of course not, they're implants, right? LMFAO!!!
Nicki Minaj doesn't have much time for her detractors, including those who recently set the Web ablaze with speculation about whether her assets had been enhanced with "butt pads." Did it bother her? "Absolutely not!" the Queens-bred rapper and Lil Wayne protégé says with a laugh. "People will pick anything to talk about, and that happens to be the thing at the moment. I love being a conversation piece."
Personally, y'all already know where I stand on it, WHO GIVES A F*CK!?
3. The World Is Filled...
LMFAO! D*mn, now ain't karma a b*tch, turns out after all these claims of f*cking, sucking and back stabbing all these RAPPERS, Kat Stacks got her own punk a** tricked. F*ck saying she got chopped and screwed, the skinny
alien groupie got burnt tricked by a Jay Rock look-a-like? LMFAO. Oh sh*t:
"im in the studio and my n*gga @ my spot stealing some p*ssy from @iHateKatStacks and @prettilyric10 pretending 2 be me..thats a kold n*gga," Rock wrote early Saturday (April 24) morning. "man, my just hit me and said he had the time of his life prettilyric10 This b*tch a** n*gga bought us hennessy & pretended to be @jayrock and we f*cked him I'm so pissed right now @angelayee i have footage of her ill send u 4 your site. once i prove shes a lie nobody's going 2 believe her @iHateKatStacks dont lie 2 your fans keep it real..we have video footage why did you erase your tweets @iHateKatStacks. you felt stupid huh.lmao @iHateKatStacks lmao you've been exposed ladyluvmusic finally dude was on point enuf to catch this b*tch up! everyone thank @jayrock for exsposing this fake b*tch 4 trying to ruin ppls lives @iHateKatStacks now look @ my pic and tell me do the n*gga that f*cked u look like me...@angelayee never ashame of anything i do..im a real n*gga..if i hit i wud say it. so when i tell u something dont doubt me nomore!!!!!!!! RT. iHateKatStacks @jayrock ya boy calling me ugly but he was toungue kissing me the whole time he trynna hit with his lil d*ck."
^ Sh*t, y'all on Twitter confuse the f*ck out of me but anyway, turns out Kat got caught up thinking the RAPPER she was sucking and f*cking was an XXL Freshman. LOL, looks like Jay Rock should thank Harris Publications for showing how big of a star he is. LOL. Anyway, looks like the groupie who was going after all these RAPPERS got f*cked up, and we're not talking:
Better yet, let's keep this sh*t real high-tech and find out why Kat is really bullsh*tting about these book deals, fantasy stories and everything else, courtesy of some doggy named Steve. LOL.
I can't be the only one who says they wouldn't f*ck her, right? There's some girls you can wife, others you just want to f*ck and then there's those crazy a** ones that won't steal the money out of your wallet but instead would rather call the police, say you did some domestic violence sh*t toward them and then while your a** is hauled away, they go and rob every last item you got at the crib, even your X-Box 360 headset. Well doggies, that just happens to be this little girl named Kat Stacks. Who knows, maybe this sh*t is all bogus and we're just wasting more time watching her fail at life through YouTube and horrible a** interviews. But then again, some rappers are f*cking
her with her:
No bullsh*t, what do y'all think about Kat Stacks? Should her a** get banned from Pulse Report with Benzino, Bow Wow and Alfamega?
4. The Million Dollar Man
Is it just me or does Lloyd Banks have an extra large ego these past few weeks? Yeah we knew he would be doing more interviews, but some of the sh*t he's saying, kinda makes you wonder who the f*ck he's trying to convince with these tales of Def Jam and Interscope trying to fight over him like he's the first quarter 2009 Drake. SMFH. D*mn Banks, do you even believe half the sh*t that's coming out of your mouth lately? You said so much bullsh*t that I couldn't even find enough space in the "STFU" Honors section. So let's get to why Mr. "Big Shot" is, according to him, the hottest thing in G-Unity right now.
"I mean, yeah, they been reaching out, Interscope" Banks confirmed in an interview. "And a few other labels, Def Jam, at this point man, like I said, I've been completely independent, we've sold over 200,000 units already through iTunes -- at this point, whatever makes sense, is the deal I'll go with. If it makes more sense to stay where I'm at, then I'll stay and be independent. If they drop that big bag, then we can talk. I don't ever want to shut no doors out so we'll see what happens in the near future."
"I think he would make it his business not to be in the building when we around," Banks said referring to if he were signed to Def Jam. "Some things you just can't control. When, if, I get into that building, I will be the bigger business. You understand what I'm saying? So he would go from having an office to just operating from Florida. Pretty much. He knows that. This is the same guy months ago that said Def Jam would never sign me, what's he an idiot? He's crazy man. They putting that stuff up they nose. That stuff man, put them lobsters down and pick up the mic. I'm just saying."
"I've already started [writing my own book], yeah," Banks revealed in an interview. "And hopefully I'll be done with that by the end of the year. It's definitely something I want to look in to and not just a one time thing. It's something I want to do in the future, a lot. It's always been a gift of mine, I've been good with words and I'm actually gonna go back to my high schools again and donate again. It's not a one shot thing. The G-Unity Foundation has done a lot of thing."
D*mn, talk is pretty cheap. And to just think, it only took "Beamer, Benz or Bentley" to become kinda hot for all this great sh*t to happen. Now if you ask me, a lot of rappers have done some hot a** singles before, but aren't we past due waiting for these regional remixes that are supposed to have dropped in the winter? Isn't there a Slim Thug, West Coast version, etc.....sh*t that's supposed to drop? Look, just like Game thinking "400 Bars" over Jay Electronica's "Exhibit C" would be a dope idea......IT'S NOT. Sh*t gets old very fast, Banks, and even though you feel kinda loose and have a microphone in front of you, don't say a bunch of bullsh*t that you can't live up to b/c we all know the f*cking facts:
1. You are currently unsigned.
2. Your last album was released in October 2006 AND flopped.
3. You have no book deal.
4. Rick Ross' career did not suffer from your "Officer Down" diss.
5. You cannot leave G-Unit because then your career would equal Young Buck's.
Plain and simple, doggies. I dare anyone to disagree. (c) Jae Millz
5. "STFU" Honors
D*mn, running down Lloyd Banks' failures have already worn me out, LOL, but with a week filled with Rico Love d*mn near gassing up Diddy's career and allowing himself to go down as the biggest liar since Kat Stacks along with Ja Rule telling us that "Beef Rap Is Wack, Kids!," there is too much sh*t to sleep through! LMFAO. In this week's "Shut The F*ck Up" Honors, we even peep Drake saying he doesn't f*ck with the pigs, 5-0 Cent putting on his badge to fight Internet piracy and Ricky Rossy getting it in on Diddy. LMFAO. Oh sh*t!
1. Rico Love
"I think it's gonna be one of the best albums to come out, and I'm really gonna say this, it's gonna be one of the best albums to come out in the past five, six years. It's gonna be mentioned with 808's & Heartbreak and College Dropout, Blueprint III, like those types of albums I really feel like, 'Dangerously in Love,' I think that Last Train to Paris album has the possibility to be that big."
2. Ja Rule
"I think the beef sh*t is wack. My beef was different, it was real. Physical altercations, all that. A lot of these beefs today, are just publicity stunts for artists to try to sell records. They try to further their careers or whatever, doing so by creating conflict with other artists who are creating a buzz. I think it's watered down hip-hop. Even though hip-hop was founded on the battle, it came from that. It's still, with how far hip-hop has come, the beef records take away from the talent and the creative process of it all. I just think all the beef records and that sh*t is wack."
"All right, f*ck it, this is what I say," Drake told an Atlanta crowd. "I say on behalf of Weezy, f*ck the NYPD/Don't believe what they be saying about us on the TV, talking sh*t is easy/Being real is harder, who'd a thought the real would come way across the border/Free my n*gga Tunechi, he ain't even do sh*t/One more shout to Boosie, shot goes out to Gucci..."
4. 5-0 Cent
"I don't think the music business is dying. I think we're just experiencing technology and we just have to pass new laws, eventually, to change how music is being distributed. There's no lack of interest in great material, I don't see people 'not' going to the night club or enjoying themselves when the son comes on. It's just about re-developing what the music business is. It's easier to download a song that's three minutes long, probably about three or four seconds for you to download it, it's easier to steal."
5. Rick Ross
"The experience and the knowledge that Diddy possesses is priceless. The relationships that he's accumulated over the last 20 years is priceless for a young artist such as myself. We developed a mutual friendship. We just stayed in contact."
***D*mn, can y'all believe May is right about here? Sh*t, enjoy the freedom in your iTunes now because the sh*t load of music that's coming out in less than two months is gonna be enough to make rap more relevant than ever, if these f*cking RAPPERS can actually get their albums out on time. And yeah, I addressed this in Caption Diss but my bad if Archie Fuque used that Tony Yayo diss last year, I didn't recall seeing it but f*ck it, the point still remains, WHERE THE F*CK IS YAYO? Oh yeah, some of y'all were hating a few months ago about rap coming to sh*t b/c of rap beefs, well f*cking B.o.B. is living proof that that's bullsh*t, so stop complaining and laugh some sh*t off, you might live longer, doggies. Until next week, I'm gonna find out who Nicki is REALLY f*cking these days! ---BB***
[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]