Pulse Report: 50 Cent Magically Quits Rap, Drake Won't Shut Up, Game Becomes Mr. Potato Head Again

Friday, Mar 19, 2010 11:55PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, doggies, we got sh*t steaming out the pot as we look at 5-0 Cent "magically" making his a** disappear from rap, ask Drake to get "over" himself, laugh at Game turning back into Mr. Potato Head, see Jim Jones blog about Cam'ron and SOHH much more!

[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]

1. Disappearing Act

Black Magic, 5-0? Is this what you've really come up with? LMFAO. What happened to the next album being a double-disc so you could get the f*ck off Interscope Records and see who is gonna bid the highest on your boring worthless uncreative career? First off, let me just point out that this doggy has had a great run in hip-hop or the rap game, whatever y'all wanna call it, but trying to squeeze a few dollars out of some other genres to save his a** from completely becoming irrelevant? LMFAO. Hold up, let me show y'all exactly what 5-0 is talking about these past few days:

"I went to a nightclub afterparty," 50 said. "I'm traveling with my live band, I took my band with me and sequenced it and recorded the actual record while I was out there. I did two other songs I had production for. I had been writing those songs for a while. So I finished them and recorded them while I was out. New Black Magic project, I'm excited about it. It has a totally different vibe. I won't allow myself to be placed in a box when I can only do one style or one kind of music. They should expect the unexpected on this project. It's good. If they can understand how I enjoy different genres of music and different styles; for the people who have various tastes in music, they'll really like it."

Shaking My F*CKING Head (SMFH) at this doggy. Look, I already know y'all are gonna hate on me for using this clown as a main headline topic, but someone needs to please open his f*cking eyes up to what it is that he's saying. LMFAO. Oh sh*t, I'm about to tear this doggy up, straight puppy chow, but I'mma let him TRY to explain once again what it is he's doing with this "new" album that's coming out.

"My Black Magic album, I've been listening to a lot of different kinds of music. I just want to create something that's outta the box," 50 told radio host Tim Westwood. "It ain't the same style, same kinda music. I'm using different song formats. I'll write a rap song in a sequence of a different kind of record...To write it in a different format, instead of writing it the way the traditional rap record is written, it's to experiment with different things. It's still hip-hop music, still 50 Cent content, it's just written in a different way."

LMFAO!!! Please get this f*cker out of rap, IMMEDIATELY. We'll keep @LLoydBanks a while longer and maybe @TonyYayo b/c he's just entertaining as sh*t, but 5-0 Cent should hang his head down for trying to promote some bogus a** attempt at making "new" music that ain't rap like this is some brilliant idea he has just come up with. LOL. Y'all need proof, peep this sh*t:

^ LMFAO. Okay, so maybe the last one is just for sh*t and giggles, but WTF and Who The F*ck is 5-0 trying to trick this time around? Can we please count up all the excuses? I actually listened to Before I Self Destruct and even though I won't call the sh*t, sh*t, it was NOT a f*cking pre-quel to Get Rich or Die Tryin' and it wasn't even f*cking with The Massacre. SMFH. Didn't 5-0 do a whole bunch of suspect sh*t on Curtis, too? SMFH. He can't win and it's that simple. Personally, I'm glad he is going to step the f*ck out of rap and do this "experimental" record b/c whether it is a success or not, he proves my point that after dissing Kanye West for doing the 808's & Heartbreak album and clowning Lil Wayne for having a guitar and doing The Rebirth sh*t, HE IS COPYING THEM and it just goes to show you that 5-0 Cent will be a follower since his brand is more of a failure than those straight-to-DVD releases. 5-0 Cent, congratulations on all your past success and on behalf of myself, Mr. Bulldog Butterworth, you have a beautiful career but STOP LYING.

2. Get Over Yourself

Look y'all, I f*cks with Young Money HARD. That new album? I went and actually downloaded bought it. Sh*t, I even bought my little sister a Barbie last X-Mas b/c she said she liked Nicki Minaj. But all this hype and over saturation with Drake is d*mn-near exhausting. With him playing Mr. Hot Sh*t about Sade turning his a** down for a collaboration to this doggy trying to sound like he's gonna Stringer Bell the rap game for YM while Weezy does his f*cking Avon Barksdale bid, get the f*ck outta here. But I guess we should start with why he should feel like no one is f*cking with him, I mean, d*mn, Eminem, Dr. Dre, Timbaland, Kanye West and f*cking Jay-Z on your debut album? Oh SH*T:

1) There's a song on the disc called "Fireworks" that has the greatest beat ever. Drake has this sidekick producer called 40, and he's talented. 2) There is a Kanye West-produced track on the album that comes with a story. The track was made by Kanye for Beyonce, but Drake really wanted it so he wrote her a handwritten letter asking if he could use it. She read it and thought it was sweet and e-mailed him to give her permission. It's a great track. 3) There's a Jay-Z/Drake track that he played for us 4) I think the final track on the album is called "Thank Me Now" or something. 5) He sings on a bunch of tracks on the album. 6) This Saturday Drake will be in L.A. doing a track with Dr. Dre and Eminem. 7) Yes, there is a Timbaland beat on the album."

LeBron-James-Drake-2010-02-24-300x300.jpgRihanna & Drake

D*mn, wish I could have heard even the f*cking intro to the album. Whatever though, so after finding out about this listening session, I'm thinking doggy is kinda humble and real straight on with what he's getting ready to unleash to the game. But then he develops this f*cking Kanyegoism that overtakes his personality. Wait, his "Over" video is him "finding" himself as an artist? WTF!? Who the f*ck does he think he is, Prince?

"This is my first video," he said in an interview. "I've shot a lot of videos before, but this is my first attempt to establish myself as Drake the the artist. Shooting the other videos I've done has been great. I really don't care what other people think about them, they were great experiences for me. I've learned a lot from them."

^ He doesn't "care" what other people think about them? All the a** from his "Best I Ever Had" music video or that dope a** "Money 2 Blow" sh*t? Ain't that kinda sh*tting on your fan base? SMFH...I thought "Jimmy" was more caring than that. But f*ck it, I can appreciate his attitude about proving himself as an artist, I guess. But hold up, now his a** is tight about Sade not wanting to f*ck with him on a collabo?

"That's great. Her brand is always protected. That's why," Drake said of her comments in an interview. "Other people's visuals, other people's songs, stepping outside your zone can jeopardize your brand. It can bring you down as opposed to bring you up. I personally feel we could have done something amazing. But I don't think she really knows who I am, really, my genre of music."

^ LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! This motherf*cker is hilarious. Does he actually believe the bullsh*t he just said? "I don't think she really knows who I am, really, my genre of music?!?!?!?!?!" Yeah Drake, that's why she said she was f*cking with Raekwon's Only Built 4 Cuban Linx 2 album, likes your ex-wifey Rihanna's new album, f*cks with Alicia Keys, Wu-Tang Clan, etc......yeah, she doesn't know who you are alllllright. SMFH.....doggy, she DOES know who you are and ain't f*cking with your product, dog-gy. SMFH. The nerve of these new rappers. But hold up, that's not even the best, Drake actually thinks he can lead Young Money on his own, like he pounded it up with Wayne through the Rikers Island glass, LMFAO!!!

DrakeFree Lil Wayne & Lil Boosie Banner

"I'm gonna do everything I told him I would do, what I said in the song: keep us afloat till he gets back," Drake said in an interview. "You won't even notice he's gone. Promise."

SMFH......it's too late, this doggy has completely converted himself into a rap star. Wave good-bye to the So Far Gone Drake.

3. When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

How real is The Game? Sh*t, I honestly have not a f*cking clue at the end of the day but one thing is for certain, his a** is definitely not trying to be gang-related with this weak a** court case he has coming up. Now personally, I really don't f*ck around with the court cases/stories b/c besides them always being half-a** boring and usually lacking a lot of details, they really don't generate a strong buzz with readers, or at least that's what I was told. But f*ck it, this could not go unnoticed and I bet y'all care more about this than DMX getting sent up the river for six months.

Gangster rapper The Game doesn't want to be referred to as a gangster rapper anymore -- but it's not because he's changing professions ... it's because he's trying to win a court case. In the new documents, the gangster rapper is asking the judge to 86 all references to him being a gangster or gangster rapper during the trial ... because he's afraid it would prejudice the jury against him. In the docs, the gangster rapper also doesn't want any mention of his lyrics during the trial ... because they contain references to violence and profanity.

LMFAO!!! I'm not even gonna bother putting in another posting with @sohhdotcom talking about how the case is gonna be settled next week, but rather, I want to actually take the Mr. Potato Head route and try to find out whether or not Gayme Game is 'bout it 'bout it or if he really has had a change of heart with his gangster connects.

Gangster.

Not Gangster.

Gangster.

Not Gangster.

Gamemrs.-potato-head-300x300.jpg

LMFAO!!! Even though I f*cks with Game and am glad he left G-Unot G-Unit, his a** ain't looking too gangster these days. LOL.

4. I Just Wanna Know

Can someone please pay me some $$$ for calling this whole failed Dipset Reunion 2010? I mean, sh*t, how many more times is Jim Jones gonna explain why there MIGHT be a reunion with him and Cam'ron? SMFH. I mean, d*mn, I guess since we've heard it on records, interviews and Twitter, this doggy even took up blogging to talk about what y'all keep expecting and hoping to happen.

"I don't think we (me and Cam'ron) actually turned on each other, as opposed to just...we just grew apart from each other," Jones wrote today (March 15). "We would see a lot more discrepancies going on between the two of us. For the most part you don't see anything going on between the two of us. He's doing what he does; I'm doing what I do. Hopefully we can get this Diplomat thing back together, put another album out and sh*t like that and keep it moving. I don't know man, when me and him do get up, trust me, y'all gonna know about it. For the most part everything is pointing in the right direction; I'm open for it. I like big checks, ya heard me?"

^ LMFAO!!! Let's check this sh*t out right now, Freekey Zekey is no where to be found, Juelz Santana has a hot a** song out right now with @LloydBanks, Cam'ron is working on Dipset West and Jim Jones is blogging about a reunion with his ex-boyfriend? Honestly, this sh*t is becoming more and more sad, kinda like when Manny was beating Cotto's a** last year and y'all just wanted the beating to stop but Cotto kept representing for his Spanish pride, I mean sh*t, even his wife left the arena, Jones, you getting this? STOP with even talking about Dipset, Cam'ron and reunions. I got an idea, why don't you reunite your Byrd Gang especially the one member that sounds like Jay-Z, your old rap enemy. I mean sh*t, whatever happened to the whole Byrd Gang movement and all this sh*t that was going down in 2008? Hhhmm......wonder if that Max B publishing money ran out and you've resorted to this.

Jim JonesCamron

Juelz SantanaFreekey Zekey

Look doggies, the only reason I'm wasting a posting on Jimmy is because it's a reminder and notice that no one even cares about a Dipset reunion. So just look to what means Jones is going through, f*cking blogging about a doggy you lied about in a past interview and now you're acting like he's just gonna call you when he has free time? LMFAO. F*ck outta here, RIP to the Dipset Movement b/c Santana got Skull Gang primed up nice, he's not worried about doing some fake a** reunion, and how would that look especially? After all these interviews talking about "money" would force y'all to get back together, isn't that just a f*cking disgrace to rap and to the fans that you'd let $$$ dictate a reunion? SMFH.

5. "STFU" Honors

LMFAO!!! My favorite section out of this entire column is once again here for y'all, doggies, and this week may be one of the best we've ever seen. From Nicki Minaj thinking Beyonce would actually want her corny help writing records to DJ UNK wanting the entire world to kill themselves, LMFAO, this week's quotes are once again getting the "Shut The F*ck Up" treatment!

1. Nicki Minaj

Nicki MinajBeyonce Knowles

"I think I could come up with some crazy stuff for Beyoncé," she said in an interview. "I have things that I write for girls, like R&B singers. Beyoncé, she's fearless, and I think that she could embody my crazy swag in a female R&B world."

2. Jim Jones

Jim JonesBlogger

"Yeah, should I make them call me Mr. Jones? I'll be teaching [a high school class] for eight weeks, I'll be teaching a real curriculum, right now they're actually going back and forth with the Board of Education to see what goes on and sh*t. I fully don't know the whole logistics of everything -- it's definitely going to be fun...I'ma have to go home the weekend before and write out my lessons -- this will be the funnest class you can go to and sh*t."

3. DJ UNK

DJ UnkPolice Tape

"For people to say that 'Walk It Out' was bullsh*t, or 'Two Step' was some bullsh*t... kill yourself," Unk said in an interview. "Every household all over the world; I changed a lot of people's lives through my music."

4. Rah Digga

Rah-Digga-2010-02-23-300x300.jpgBusta Rhymes And Rah Digga

"There are no cameo features on the album, whatsoever, I'm just making a statement. What artist on what label is releasing albums right now that there are no guest appearances on the album, it's just unheard of and it's just one of the statements that I'm making, like 'Hey, you want Rah Digga, you gonna get Rah Digga.' You don't need Rah Digga featuring such and such."

5. B.o.B.

B.O.B.T.I. & B.o.B

"It's like you can become famous but you can't become un-famous. When you're famous people become mad, there's nothing you can do to where people just forget you or be un-famous so enjoy these times and just be patient."

***LMFAO!!! D*mn doggies, where's all this rap beef I've been waiting on? F*ck if y'all think I'm wasting space on Floyd Mayweather getting soft and talking about Rick Ross falling back or that boring a** diss Ice Cube made and got Jay Rock's feathers are ruffled. Guess we got to wait it out and see what else goes down b/c until we hear some techno sh*t from 5-0 Cent, we're gonna just be given Drake and Nicki Minaj records all day. Speaking of which, anybody know where the f*ck Kanye West's new sh*t is? D*mn, and oh yeah, told y'all that Fabolous mixtape was semi-a** at best compared to his past albums, nothing has yet to f*ck with Street Dreams, commercial success or not. Aiight doggies, that wraps it up for me, some Caption Disses for Nicki Minaj are PG-13 at BEST. D*mn, no one is airing her plastic a** out yet? I might have to go OT this weekend.  Wait til y'all see what I got in store! LMFAO! --BB***

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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