Pulse Report: Memphis Bleek Goes For Broke Without Jay-Z, Benzino Got Big Things Poppin', Nicki Minaj's Barbie Power Attracts Haters

Friday, Jan 1, 2010 9:00AM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, HAPPY NEW YEAR'S FOOLS!!!, we got sh*t on and poppin' from the last week in '09 as we peep Memphis Bleek turning down Jay-Z's paper, Benzino flashing heavy tools at Slaughterhouse, Nicki Minaj's p*ssy power get unleashed, Kid Cudi have a staged over-the-top meltdown and go on a hunt for Beanie Sigel. Welcome to 2010 suckas, we SOHH on that!!!

[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]

1. I Ain't Ever Heard Of That

LMFAO. No bullsh*t, when I heard about hype man Memphis Bleek turning down some $$$ from Jay-Z, first thing I thought was, 'Oh sh*t, maybe he's still in the red.' And then when I read some more about what the deal was, LMFAO, I just did a f*cking handstand and put up the rhinestone diamond in the sky b/c the day we see Bleek or ANYONE from Hov's old label (including Dame Dash too, we see you son) turning down paper, it'll be a wrap. LOL. Peep the sh*t out:

"Like, let me tell you something that just happened recently, right, you know they just did the tenth anniversary photo shoot for Rocawear?," Bleek asked in an interview. "So they called me to come down there and do the picture or whatever. The Rocawear people tried to pay me, like they had a check for me at the photo shoot. And I'm like, 'Nah, I can't take that check.' I think the check was like for between I think like $7,000 to $10,000. And I'm like, 'I can't take that check.' And the dude he like, 'Yo, why not?' I'm like,'"Nah 'cause this my homie's company. Why my man gotta pay me just to take some pictures? Like, this my n*gga! We from the [same] projects. You don't have to pay me. [Doing] this is nothing.' So then Jay called me the next day like, 'Yo Bleek, why you ain't take the money?' I'm like, 'Yo Hov, that's like me stealing from you, just taking money from you, c'mon. What I did for you yesterday took 15 minutes out my day, you don't have to pay me for that. I'ma get the money some other way.' And that n*gga said to me, 'Yo that's why I love you, you one of the realest n*ggas ever, you would never meet nobody else in the world who would do that.' And I sat back and thought about it, [and] he's right. Who turning down money today? It's just like, that's my homie. That's like if my brother, he like, yo I'm throwing a party, come to my party, and I gotta charge him for a walk-thru. Is you crazy?! C'mon. Karma is everything. You don't have to pay me for no picture, I'm cool. And that's just the loyalty I have to my team. And anybody that ever been close to me, you never gon' meet nobody that tell you yo Bleek is foul, Bleek is this -- I'm always for my team first."

You reading that sh*t, Beans? Apologies, I know y'all aren't used to reading a lot of quoted boxes, but I had to let y'all see what was what. "I'ma get the money some other way" LOL!!! Oh yeah, he means from The Process album, right? The record Bleek thinks he could sell 300,000 with???

"I coulda went to Roc Nation, but then what am I getting out of that?," Bleek asked in an interview. "Another $150,000 check advance, then I come out [and] sell 300,000 probably, somebody makes two or three million, and I gotta mess with the fact that they gon' say yo you bricked out? Like that's the industry. And that's [with a label run by] my homie. Now if [it's] somebody else, [they] might not even get a 150 [thousand dollar] advance, they probably go get 30. And plus I'd rather be on my own, fam. I been in the game, like you said a decade now, I know what to do; I know what not to do. It's time for me to have my own record [label]. I got a lot of n*ggas behind me that's ready to get they shot. And me being behind Jay, they ain't gonna never get they shot."

*Blank Stare...............* Uh huh....and going back to that quote, "I'ma get the money some other way..." *Thinking..........(fast forward to 2:59)*

Epic fail? Nah, I guess he was just trying to "f*ck with the b*tches..." right? SMH....look, it's bad enough my dude thinks he can push over 10,000 albums and even worse that he tried to play off not getting an OFFER from Jay to join Roc Nation, so let's just say outside of Hovi, Bleek is still doing the best out of everybody else associated with The Roc's "early" days.

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2. Grumpy Old Men

Now look, believe it or not, I really don't have any harsh feelings toward Benzino even though he went at my favorite new rap group of 2009, Slaughterhouse. Sh*t, the fact that I'm even writing about both Made Men Benzino and Slaughterhouse on some beef bullsh*t just ignites their motivation to keep addressing this, but f*ck it, I'm here to blast out the hottest of the past week and after dude pulled out some f*cking Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas-type grip, things got heated up. But let's look at this corny beef song that got sh*t re-started.

*SILENCE as f*ck......* Uh-huh......well, after Raekwon denied getting involved in this foolery, Zino took it upon himself to address a matter that nobody cared about.

"I just wanna clarify a few things, you know what I'm saying about this whole Royce Da 5'9 situation and the 'Break To Build' song with Raekwon," Zino says in a video recording. "I had a verse on the song, it's produced by myself -- I had a verse on the song, Rae said he liked the joint and did the second verse and the third verse I held over and he had nothing to do with it. It wasn't really a diss song in the first place because all I did was say a couple of things about Royce in the third verse, in the last two bars or so. But Rae ain't have nothing to do with it, I just wanted to clarify that. Shout-out to everybody over there at IceWater. And also, the whole thing with Slaughterhouse, I felt like the whole thing with Royce's manager, they didn't want to give [my publication] Hip Hop Weekly, the number one urban hip-hop magazine out there, [an interview] but it really wasn't no beef. He said a few things, I said a response. If it was beef now, you know how we doing it."

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(Don't forget to submit your Caption Disses, fools!)

No joke though, the most entertaining part of the whole video was him going Nino Brown at the end. (Yo, did dude pull an Ice-T and shave that sh*tty hairstyle off? D*mmmmmn). And of course dude's all-out war plan worked and Crooked I came running to the sound of pistols.

"Benzino, yo, real talk, why?," he asked. "You talking too much homie, you doing too much. It's only a couple ways to get out of a beef, man, and you might as well squash this sh*t. I know you was mad because [we] didn't do the motherf*cking interview with your magazine, but that was some other sh*t. You knew what that was about. You shouldn't have even spoke on it or caught feelings. If you a real gangsta, you don't catch feelings over that sh*t. You thinking with your emotions right now. Showing guns on the Internet? N*gga, you on the hip-hop cops radar right now, that's what you just did. Calm down homie, it's not about all that bullsh*t...I got love for Boston, don't even go there. Do not go there, you went too far showing motherf*cking pistols..."

SMFH....the sad part is what happens if Eminem is actually shook and doesn't sign them boys to Shady b/c of their Zino situation? .............................LMFAO!!! F*ck outta here! But I want y'all to keep it real with me, what was a bigger fail? Crooked I's f*cked up "Slaugterhouse" tat or this dude below (PAUSE THAT SH*T, too!)

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EPIC FAIL

3. Barbies Gone Wild: Unrated

Aight, at the end of the day, I won't bullsh*t y'all, what the f*ck is a Barbie? Seriously. But much respect to the biggest a** that we've seen on a female rapper thus far, Nicki Minaj. See, just when ol' girl gets some shine, motherf*ckers wanna Foxy Brown and E-V-E her, the latest chick trying to toss some bullsh*t below the cooch-type jabs? Kid "WTF?" Sister!?

"I think Nicki Minaj is awesome," Sister said in an interview. "She has a cute little look but my thing is do people take her seriously? I'm not being funny. I'm just asking a question. That whole thing like I want more cheese, lots and lots of cheese, do people make fun of her? But do I have it harder? No, I think I have it easier. Harder in the sense that maybe the pop world doesn't know how to interpret me but easier in the sense that I know my music comes from me and it's a clear and perfect projection of everything I am. It's not only because I have control, but it's because that's the only music that can comfort me."

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Uh-huh....sh*t, while I'm at it, why don't we wave at a couple other "haters" going at my girl, yeah?

Lil Mama hatin' on homegirl's sex themes?

"Nicki Minaj is a talented rapper," Lil Mama said in an interview. "She's out there, she's doing her. What she represents, I don't represent and she's doing something different, that's her lane. As the voice of the young people, Lil Mama, I focus on bringing up young girls to respect their bodies, respect theyself, do it up."

Lola "A**matic" Monroe calling out her steez?

"I don't do the Barbie thing -- that's her thing," LoLa said in an interview. "I really don't agree with it, that's basic. It doesn't make sense to me because first off, you're basically saying I'm jacking somebody who has never been known to have their style all throughout their career. She's never been set to have her own style. It's always been set to say she's jacking Lil' Kim to Foxy [Brown] and now Lil Wayne. So how can I be jacking somebody or using somebody's style if they never been known to have their own style. That part never made sense."

You know why Nicki wins this sh*t though? Men lie, women lie, but them got d*mn numbers surrrrre DON'T:

Lil Wayne's Young Money compilation, We Are Young Money, debuted at No. 9 this week. The group's debut album has sold 143,000 copies to date.

Say what you want, call them numbers "decent" or diss @BulldogButterworth for trying to justify a group album for Nicki's own sales, but f*ck it, you take her and Drake out of the equation and them sales are looking like Fat Joe's K.A.R. debut. Ouch...

And if that's not good enough reason to f*ck with homegirl over the haterrrrrrs, then maybe this will help you lonely bloggers out there:

4. G.O.O.D. Riddance

Nah fools, don't think I'm on my Archie sh*t these days with a snappy headline, LMFAO, but sh*t, is everyone on G.O.O.D. Music really trying to express their own individual self with some horrible a** rants or are they all just trying to be Kanye West clones? Exhibit C(udi) (love the record @JayElectronica!):

Kid Cudi Speech [Live at House Of Blues, SC] from AychKay on Vimeo.

"They trying to make me look like the poster boy for violence and ignorance," Cudi told a crowd of fans. "I tell motherf*ckers I'm the poster boy for honesty, realness, anarchy, I don't give a f*ck about this business -- I'm the truest motherf*cker in this business and people trying to destroy me. All these other n*ggas that y'all probably fans of is sucker a** n*ggas, I met them. N*ggas I was a fan of when I was buying their CDs, I'm not a fan of they music no more. This business is WWF fam and if you don't comply, they try to destroy you...I never talk sh*t, I came to this game, just wanted to smoke my weed and motherf*ckers just wanna destroy me, I don't give a f*ck. I'm unstoppable."

SMFH....the only positive I see from this sh*t is he saved everyone from a boring a** and questionable blog posting, but who are these "n*ggas" trying to "destroy" you, Cudi? What did Wayne say back in '08? Stop s*cking me off and not letting me get my n*t? (PAUSE!!!!) Who is this guy talking about? Now if you ask me, sh*t is type suspect b/c is anyone really checking out for this guy to the point where he is breaking down like ^ that? Jay-Z put him on Bluerpint III, 50 Cent got him a This Is 50 Fest performance last October and his sales did f*cking incredible for a new artist (No DJ Khaled, not like Ace Hood's sh*t), so WTF? Maybe it's his imaginary friends/rappers getting to him or maybe...wait a second....Penn & Teller, help me out.....could it be.....BULLSH*T?! Yeah...until Cudi name drops these "people," he gets the Pulse Report ban treatment, say "Roof!" to Bow Wow while you're over there, Cuds.

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5. Have You Seen This Man?

Either Beanie Sigel is cooking something really good or else his bullsh*t beef with Jay-Z has finally fizzled out and left him trying to dream up a Nas & Jay "Empire State of Mind" remix diss. LMFAO. Since a quarter of y'all are probably still hung over and the rest of y'all in bed watching cartoons, I decided to keep sh*t simple by wrapping up Pulse Report with a Google News search of "Beanie Sigel Accident." No bullsh*t, here is what we got since learning about him bodying himself last month.

From New Year's Eve:

Top Celebrity Car Crashes of 2009: 2) The Broad Street Bully Beanie Sigel was involved in a pretty bad car accident in Baltimore, Md. The vehicle was run off the road by a tractor-trailer. Sources say Sigel was sitting in the "death seat," which is the front passenger side. The rapper sustained injuries to his face, legs and arms. (spotted @ BlackVoices)

From December 23:

Hip-Hop artist and Philly rapper Beanie Sigel who has been speaking on his side of the story with former friend and rival Jay-Z over the past few months, is stated to have been injured in a car accident in Baltimore over the weekend (Saturday, December 19) following a session at a recording studio. According to reports, the rapper was riding in a car that was side-swiped by a tractor trailer which also ran them off the road. Beanie Sigel received several injuries to his body which included his legs, arms and face. . . . (spotted @ InjuryBoard)

From December 22:

Hip-Hop artist and Philly rapper Beanie Sigel who has been speaking on his side of the story with former friend and rival Jay-Z over the past few months, is stated to have been injured in a car accident in Baltimore over the weekend (Saturday, December 19) following a session at a recording studio.

Now of course I doubt Jay is laughing at this sh*t, but you can't help but think...what goes around comes around, huh? Does anybody even care enough to get a statement from his publicist? Maybe Beans should have invested in some shampoo commercials and "volunteered" for a Rocawear ad campagin.

Insert: LMFAO!!!!

***No long and sappy message, but d*mn, it's 2010 and not sure about y'all but I'm still here and keeping sh*t hotter than Benzino's failed credit card swipes. LOL, just f*cking with dude. Seriously though, y'all made it another year so be thankful to be seeing history not just in hip-hop, but with the culture and around you all. Now f*ck all that sentimental sh*t and HAPPY New Year's!***

*No Junk Mail!

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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