Pulse Report: Jay-Z Pities Haters, Lloyd Banks Ain't Got Money To Blow, Young Buck's Manhood Gets Called Out

Friday, Jan 15, 2010 4:30PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, we're reviewing the past seven days by first taking a brief tour into the Big Apple to allow Jay-Z to put Baby and Beanie Sigel in their places, see why G-Unit ain't caked up these days, watch Young Buck get his manhood called out and oh SOHH much more!

[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]

1. God of War

You all wanna know why I f*ck with Jay-Z SOHH much? Nah, really, on everything I own, let's keep sh*t a hundred percent REAL. Jay has never lost a battle. Point. Blank. Period. We've had this discussion in the COMMENTS section before but I want to make sure y'all are very clear with me on this. Name one case in which Jigga Man, Ya Heard has been put on blast and dude has NOT either bounced back or made it look like he was the ultimate victor...case in point? Nas. Sure, Nasty had "Ether" but at the end of the day? Nas comes to Jay's 2005 concert to make peace, signs with President Carter's Def Jam in 2006 and puts dude on "Black Republican." Aiight, enough of me being on my "New York Sh*t," let's peep game. First up? Beanie Sigel. "Average Cat?" Dissing Hovito with 5-0 Cent? Yo Jay, WTF?!

"This rap music and the competitive by nature, nothing really surprises me anymore but I'll honestly say, that was one that was like a shocker," Hov said in an interview. "When you from a certain place, cut from a certain cloth, there's certain things that's just off limits. When you cross that line, we put you in a different box. That one was a little surprising. The competitive nature of rap music dictates that's how it goes more times than it's not...I think everybody run outta ideas..."

You know what makes Jay's ^ statement even better about dude? It's that State Property's Omillio Sparks agrees 100 f*cking percent.

"Even after all that was said and done, I think [Beans] went to jail, came back and signed a contract again. So if you were already feeling some type of way about what was going on, you should have just been on your joint like 'All right I'm out,' but he came back and re-signed, you brought that on yourself."

On to the next one? Baby Boy saying Cash Money has more $$$ than Jigga and that Lil Wayne can't f*ck with him? Jigga what?

"As far as money, you know, that's a little more factual. We can determine that. It's gonna cost [to see my bank account]. Put it up, if he's that confident, I'll give him a little glimpse. It's crazy. Knock it off, but as far as being lyrical. That's for the viewers, that's everybody. I respect that, that's his guy so he's supposed to roll with his guy. I don't have no problems with that. I don't have problems with anybody, I want this to be my most positive year. I don't want no problems."

SMFH....LOL. D*mmmmmmn, come on y'all, tell me Jay is not the coolest 40-year-old rapper during interviews? His sh*t is so on point that even if he did catch an "L," who could truly point that out?

And if you still think I'm bullsh*ttin', then f*ck the numbers, peep the victims:

Jaz-O And Jay-Z50 Cent & Fat Joe

Camron And MaseGame & Jim JonesProdigyDamon Dash

And just for some of y'all with the down time, who can't forget the Dipset vs. Jay-Z beef...and oh yeah, Jay still won.

2. Canadian Bacon

Aight, now I need all of y'all to be honest. Three questions. First, when this Lloyd Banks sh*t popped off, did y'all think it was real or on some MediaTakeOut bullsh*t? Second, didn't y'all wonder what the f*ck dude was doing having his goons stomp dude out? Third, am I the only one who was thinking....WHERE THE F*CK IS 5-0 Cent and Tony Yayo to address this sh*t? SMFH...I won't even get all theatrical on y'all, long story short. Banks does this promo concert in Canada, paper comes out light ALLEGEDLY from the booking dude, sh*t gets "On Fire" with a few pound cake punches, Unit-y "Entourage" boys get their a** locked up and then we get:

Lloyd Banks is on his way home to America after being held for allegedly assaulting and robbing a concert promoter in Canada over the weekend. According to his lawyer Patrick J. Ducharme, Banks had an immigration hearing early Wednesday morning (January 13) and was allowed to return to the U.S. On Tuesday, Banks posted $50,000 bond and the others posted a required $25,000 each. After the bail hearing, two of the men were allowed to return to the U.S., but Banks and one of his associates, Nicklas Sloane, were remanded into immigration custody for unspecified issues.

SMFH....and then the $$$$ injuries come out:

"I've done parties where Jay-Z showed up, Mick Jagger, the Wayan Brothers," victim Chris Hines said in an interview. "After the first punch, it was like, `Okay, he's upset, disrespecting me a little bit, but cool, I'm not going to be stupid.' I sat on my hands to show them like `Hey, I'm not trying to do anything crazy.' I knew if I fought back there was going to be no winning. When they hit me again, I fell on the floor. Then it really started to hit me, `What the F is going on?' I've never heard of anything like this happening. You can curse people, maybe you don't talk to them again, but for it to get physical - nobody was drinking and nobody was doing drugs. I think what really got this to escalate was peer pressure."

Now look, let's keep this sh*t clear...WTF Banks!? At the very least, right, it was his crew that supplied that a** whoopin' but at this point in his career dude should have known better. Yeah, we've seen the quotes from his lawyer/rep saying there's another side to the story but in the court of law, Canadian law at that, this is just going to be a big a** settlement at the end of the day. See, the sh*t that has me rolling is that you get this dude who I respect the f*ck out of and all those money-based raps and rants about being Blue Hefner and iced out and owning a flying "spaceship" turn out to be bogus as f*ck when you resort to beating this loser guy up:

Chris HinesChris Hines

Sorry Chris Hines, but you look like a throwback extra from "Saved By The Bell" and I really hope you get a beautiful settlement out of this deal. Squeeze them guys for every last cent. In the meantime, let's keep it moving b/c Banks definitely needs to cool off a bit:


Don't forget to submit them Caption Disses...y'all got 72 hours, fools!

3. Danger (Been So Long)

LMFAO!!! D*mn, I really wanted to avoid this because it is definitely on the R&B/Bullsh*t side of things, but Young Buck feeling the need to defend his manhood after that Monica Danger chick blasted out those gay rumors? LOL!!! Hold up, let's be clear real quick:

"Ray J's gay, I'll tell you why on this show," stated Danger in her interview. "Ray I love you, I respect you but after the two years of Danger 'smashed the homie' t-shirts -- what I had to go through first season, me being pregnant by Gabriel [Cannon], you claiming it was you everywhere on earth... you are selling me everywhere, listen n*gga I'm not a pimp h*e, you're not going to pimp me, I'm not Kim Kardashian...I'm really mad too.. Young Buck and Ray J.. going strong f*cking with each other for years, and Young Buck does not have one percent of what Ray J has and it's like 'Ray J, you're not looking out for your boy?' ...he likes d*ck too" while singing off with "he likes the boys in the baaand, he says that Young Buck's his all time favoriteeee!"

Oh sh*t! SMFH...I won't fake, I watch VH1 on the regular, from Flavor Flav to those Top 100 Videos Of The WHATEVER, MAN...they're dope as f*ck and anyone who knows about Ray J's show knows WHICH Young Buck was being talked about:

Young BuckYoung-Buck-Ray-J-2010-01-14-300x300.jpg

Nonetheless though, the Ca$hville blood thirsty rapper made sure to speak out and let everyone know he's that dude that was f*cking Monica back in the day:


And just for anyone out there still worrying about if Buck could still be that "Hey Girl!" type dude?

"No, it's not true," she said in an interview. "I got mad and I over-reacted. I can't get mad over little things anymore... I need to stop f*cking up. I'll be the first to say that I am wrong and I was wrong. Ray J put me on and I will always respect him and love him for that. No matter who I'm dating. I'm sorry Ray, I love you. Do you forgive me?"

*Blank Stare* Yeah, sorry folks, but Buck ain't gettin' it like that these days.


4. Monkey Bars

D*mn, while y'all stay searching for Internet porn (peep RedTube.com), I still can't get over one of these stories @sohhdotcom posted this week. Game x "400 Bars?" Are you f*cking stttupppidddd, @youreaders? Obviously so if y'all didn't even cause a commotion and blast this dude on Twitter to re-think his moves. For starters, "300 Bars" destroyed G-Unit-y. Sorry folks, but that sh*t bodied them. Wait, as a matter of fact, let's take it back real quick:

100 Bars:

200 Bars (Joe Budden = Victim):

300 Bars (G-Unit-y):

Bonus --> 120 Bars:

With that sh*t said, let's just peep the "proof" this this is really something dude is serious about:

"@djdrama I'm sendin u ALL da music tonite for the mixtape "2010" just been trying to finish "400 bars", that's been the hold up. but i got u," he wrote Monday (January 11). "@snoopdogg just told hit me....... hit you back inna min & let you know what WE ON !!! my n*gga @snoopdogg always keep his nefew laced da fuck up !!! goodlookin cuzz ........ SOOOOO WOOOOOO got hit the bank....... need some pocket change ! (that's $5,000) be right back."

D*mn, I'm still in shock like them 2000 Nikes. Now the question is, who is public enemy number one?

Game And G-UnitThe Game And Beyonce

The Game And Jay-ZGame

***And yes, I did "intentionally" put dude down as himself b/c he is insane enough to destroy "The Game" for just "Game."***

5. Ain't No Joke

Fellow readers and viewers and "haters," I want to wrap sh*t up early this week and make a plea for everyone out there to click an extra "Tab" on your browser and do something to help the victims and people volunteering over in Haiti. Whether you have Haitian in your blood, had a Haitian jump-off in the past, listen to Tony Yayo rep his roots or just got love, let's take a minute and really take matters into our own hands. We definitely can if they already DID:


"God Bless Haiti!!!! God please!!!," he wrote this week on Twitter. "STATE OF EMERGENCY!!! RT PLEASE!!! ??Earthquake relief for Haiti please text YELE to 501501 to donate $5 or go to www.yele.org RT PLS!!! My heart is so heavy today! Words can't explain!God Bless Haiti!!!! RT @myfabolouslife: Come on people Haiti needs us.. Text "Yele" to 501501 donate $5 to support the relief efforts yall!!"

Kanye West

"HELP THE HAITI EARTHQUAKE VICTIMS," he wrote. "Click HERE to take action and donate to the relief today...Click HERE for more pics and info..."

Tony Yayo

"RT @aneymone: RT @TonyYayo: RT @McFlaii: @TonyYayo idk if y'all know but this is the # CNN giving out 4 Americans to contact fam in Hait ...," he wrote. "RT @aneymone: @TonyYayo: RT @MeghanMillz: @TonyYayo can you tell everyone to text YELE to 501501 to donate $5 towards helping Haiti ? Check here for updates via CNN. Let's help HAITI because they are in our thoughts n prayers. http://twitter.com/cnnbrk/haiti For further info about Haiti relief please visit www.yele.org Shouts to Chip2th and Wyclef on his way 2 Haiti."

Busta Rhymes

"THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT SOMETHIN' WE SHOULD JUST SIT BY AND WATCH...WE MUST DO SOMETHIN' PEOPLE!!NO MORE KATRINA SITUATIONS OUT HERE PLEASE!!," he wrote. "RT @wyclef: Haiti need us please pray and support the country donate $5 2 Earthquake relief foundation by texting (cont) http://tl.gd/3ishu."

No bullsh*t, here is some information to get things started:

Whether you've already contacted us to express your interest in going, or whether you want to help from home, here's a list of the items we want to take with us. Consider starting a collection among your friends and family members. Every donation makes a difference. Baby formula (dry/powder) Baby wipes Baby bottles Diapers Baby clothes Toiletries (shampoo, soap, toothpaste) Hand sanitizer Vitamins First aid kits Over the counter medicines Socks Blankets Mosquito repellent Flashlights Batteries Candles Flip flops T-shirts, pants, lightweight jackets Non perishable food that's not in cans (seal-paks of tuna, for example) There are dozens more items; this is just a starter list. Think flat, lightweight, easily packable. Interested in sending your donations to Haiti with Matador? Email [email protected]

***Sh*t got rushed this week, folks, I've been going to the post office around my way to get sh*t out. Yeah, believe it or not Bulldog Butterworth is actually letting off his boxed kicks from 2006 and putting them to a better cause. For the time being, do your part if you can and at the very least send out some love y'all. Still on my sentimental sh*t, I'll get at y'all on the comments section. -BB***

No Junkmail!

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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