Pulse Report: Lil Wayne Pulls A Dr. Dre, Jim Jones Destroys Dipset Reunion, Pleasure P Loves The Kids

Friday, Dec 11, 2009 11:50PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, we're bringin' that a** back 168 hours to laugh at Jay-Z and Nas "wanting" to do a 50 Cent collaboration, see Jim Jones destroy Dipset reunion talks...again, get up close and personal with Pleasure P, watch Lil Wayne pull a Dr. Dre and oh SOHH much more!

[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]

1. Hard Times

No bullsh*t, let me tell you all a story. A few nights ago I dreamed that I ran into "y'all's" boy 50 Cent and had a brief conversation with him. I said he should really take that "This Is 50 Fest" sh*t serious and at the next one, reunite with Game and Young Buck, hence, re-starting the entire G-Unit movement. Funny thing is, homie laughed and said 'F*ck outta here.' Then I woke up and read this sh*t:

Despite 50 Cent calling Jay-Z Beyonce's husband and more recently jabbing that he thinks he's Jesus, rumor has it that the two may actually be working together behind the scenes. A source who recently found himself eavesdropping on a conversation at a certain New York Giant's office, recently told BET.com that Hov may be unifying the big apple by featuring Fif and Nas on the "Empire State of Mind" remix. Word is the entire recording as well as conversations between the NY juggernauts will be documented. In addition to continually jabbing Jay, Fif has had issues with Nas for a while. Former friends, the Queens MCs became at odds after Fif called Nas out on The Massacre's "Piggy Bank." Word has already been spreading that Nas, who was reportedly slated to appear on the original track, is on deck for the remix.

Now I'm batting a solid .900 and I would even put my throwback King Magazine collection (starting with Leila Arcieri Issue No. 1) on the line to say this is the biggest bullsh*t rumor I have ever heard. *Insert: LMFAO!!!* Just because I know how y'all like to get, even my girl @MissInfo dropped the 4-1-1 on that a**, MJB style, to dead the hopes:

This would be quite a surprising turn of events. Why would Jay reach out for to end a beef that he's never acknowledged? Would that seem like a concession? And would 50 agree to be Jay's guest, after all the comments that he's made in the past few weeks? Some insiders are already denying the report, so we'll have to see.

Not trying to toss shots at BET, but WTF, doggies? I already see how this could have began. First we get Beanie Sigel suggest Jay did some off the wall imaginary diss on an "Empire State of Mind" remix with Nas going at him and 50 Cent, right? Then "someone" gives BET the "inside" scoop that this sh*t is all documented like a Canal Street bootleg of Fade to Black, right? And, LOL, get this...not only is it going to be Jay-Z and Nas, but 50 CENT TOO? No bullsh*t, this had me rolling on the floor thinking how sites are more Bossip these days than Media Take Out. Here are a few key points y'all need to remember. Jay NEVER calls a truce in a situation that made him look to be a sucker. Have y'all seen Jay and Dame Dash sharing bubbly since 2003 (2003, NOT 2004)? What about Peedi Peedi and Hov slicing a Philly cheesesteak down the middle? Nah son. And it's d*mn sure not gonna be @50Cent, the dude who called him a "Pass The Grey Poupon A** N*gga," right? Holla @ me in the comments section to further discuss this sh*t, maybe I could be wrong, but of course that would be impossible.

2. 2012

D*mn, I'mma keep sh*t all the way a hundred with y'all. Remember how "correct" I was about Dipset really being over? Well, truth be told, I was really hoping I was wrong b/c if you were still a bit shaky about the Diplomats calling a truce, then doggies, I know you gotta be feeling different this week. Jim Jones remixing Freekey Zekey's "Live It Luv It?" D*mmmmmmmn. Let me show y'all what @sohhdotcom forgot to mention in their sh*t:

"Eh n*gga, if anything about me, I rob, I don't steal -- stealing? You a funny n*gga," Jones said. "Zekey wasn't lying about what money has ruined, I think the struggle for power is what started all this confusion/Around that same time he got caught up in that shooting/And not too far after that me and Cam started feuding/When I started 'Ballin'' it didn't make it no better/That was the last time we did a video together/And now our conversation, we should get this sh*t together...Chill, you know it's a THIN LINE/You been drunk too many times, I been to court too many times/And this is NOT AN 'ETHER' but I SHOULD GET DEEPER but I'll leave it at this/I love ya, I SHOULD GET DEEPER/For real, word up, I'mma start EATING YOUR A** UP or something n*gga, you a funny faced a** n*gga..."

How would Fabolous say that sh*t back in '02? Daaaa dddaaa ddaaaaaa*nnnnnnnn!!!! Call this sh*t sloppy grammar or whatever, but let's break down a few key things. First off, DIPSET-IS-DONE. I said it, I meant it, bite my tongue for NO ONE. (c) Biggie Smalls. This just sealed the sh*t up for me, thanks @JimJonesCapo Second, you know this is some serious sh*t b/c Jones didn't even say "No H*mo" after that "eating a**" line (PAUSE), dude really is tight. And then, like Mayweather is going to do to Pacquiao next spring, he kept taking extra swipes at Zekey. "Funny faced n*gga?" D*mn Jones, word? And while I'm at it with diss/tell-all records, anyone else FORGOT Freeway's weak sh*t from last week? LMFAO. EXACTLY. Zekey f*cked up, b/c his statement for why he wrote the sh*t is half-a** at best:

"It is time for me to speak," he wrote in a statement, "I want [the] world to know my side of the story; I want them to see my life for what it is. I want to answer the questions that people have been asking, like what's up with Dipset and why did you sign to Big Kat Records, when the listen to 'Feel Me' they will all have their answers."

Funny thing is I remember seeing some Jenny Boom Boom interview last spring where Jones and Zekey were hugged up talking about that Pray 4 Reign flop. Guess sh*t was all good a week ago..but in Jones' defense, maybe something or "some" label had him irked when writing that remix. Oh yeah...."I SHOULD GO DEEPER..." Yeah, Dipset is gonna have a lot of sh*t exposed in the near future, watch.

3. Guilty Until Proven Innocent

In all honesty, I don't f*ck with R&B hardly at all. Yeah, I inked up that Dream b*tching and crying over a Grammy nomination last week and ate the bullet for it, but I can't deny Pleasure P an opportunity to clear his name from this nasty a** situation "someone" got him into. Quick note: Pleasure P accused of doing much worse than pleasuring.

"It actually came from a no-face blogger, a person that don't exist on the internet," he told the host. "A person who won't show their face just decided 'I'm going to put out some false information about Mr. Pleasure P.' We dealing with it right now. I took off the R. Kelly tour just to deal with this issue. It's a very serious matter and it could happen to anybody. It could happen to you. That a person put something out there like that and people actually believing it." "You gotta look at it this way," Pleasure P's lawyer added, "How do you defend yourself against a lie on the internet? It's virtually impossible. The only thing that this unnamed person has come forward with are these documents and if you look at them they don't make sense. They are cobbled together."

You know what the saddest sh*t is though? How crazy is it that dude was on the "R.Kelly" tour when this went down? Not saying that means anything in regards to the accusations, but that's like being accused of cheating on your wife(y) and saying you were just chilling with Tiger Woods. LOL. Now warning to all readers, this sh*t is a bit graphic, but this is what P is being accused of:

"When he was 16 going on 17, he was left alone with his niece and nephew with whom he touched and penetrated with fingers on several occasions," a letter reads. "His aunt noticed his niece complaining of her genital area hurting, when asked what happened she replied 'Uncle Marcus keeps touching me and he hurt me.' Of course Marcus (Pleasure P) denied the allegations but the doctor found signs that she had vaginal damage and tearing. Charges were then pursued by the State of Florida. The incident happened in 2004 going into 2005. He served like 8 months, rehab and community service by time the trial came up. Marcus accepted a plea with the State of Florida and Joseph Smith who is the care giver of the niece and nephew which Marcus "Pleasure P" Cooper molested."

Not trying to commentate on this at all b/c my pops thinks dude is guilty and my grandmother's daughter says ol' boy ain't messin' with ol' boys. So I'ma keep sh*t neutral and keep it moving, just had to give dude a lane to speak on it.

4. We Both Think Alike

LMFAO. I can't believe I'm saying this but Lil Wayne is not a f*cking Martian, this fool is a d*mn Chronic creation. Wait, wait, wait...let me clear this sh*t up. Lil Wayne has jacked Dr. Dre's most incredible marketing strategy. The name of this strategy? DETOX. Now let's observe. Rebirth was starting to get talked about what, maybe a year ago to the date? I remember "Prom Queen" dropping around January 2009, right? Aight, so maybe this sh*t isn't ten years late.....YET. But it's turning more and more into one of those "WTF?"-type of albums. Is it a rock album? Is it semi-rock, some rap and the rest filler? How come Wayne didn't f*ck with Drake on the album? These are all questions Wayne Universal Motown is still asking themselves as y'all read these very lines.

So, you thought you might be able to hold Lil Wayne's Rebirth in your hands before New Year's? Psych! A Universal Motown rep tells the Music Mix that Weezy's long-delayed rock-influenced follow-up to 2008's Tha Carter III has been pushed back yet again from its planned Dec. 21 release to an unspecified date in 2010.

WHEW...that was close, right? No worries everybody, there is no release date for the album and sh*t, this might be a bogus a** rumor as far as we know, right? LMFAO. D*mn, so f*ck all that Dre comparisons...wait, hold up, oh sh*t:

"REBIRTH ALBUM PUSHBACK FEB.1 YOUNGMONEY CMIN OUT DEC.21 YADIG YM CMB," Baby wrote."

SMFH........now I've said this in the past, about 95 percent of the readers here ain't in the music industry but there is some common sense that should be used here. NEVER GIVE RELEASE DATES. Besides Jay-Z's Blueprint III (which DID NOT drop on 9/11/09), what albums have dropped in 2009 on their scheduled release dates? Since last year, I've seen dates for Rebirth beginning in April then May then three dates in June and then two dates in July nothing in August but dates in September to October and November then December and oh..February, right? Bull-to-the-Sh*t. I call Wayne's strategy "Detox" simply because whether he wants to admit how much of a genius he REALLY is rather than portraying this weeded dope a** rapper, we know his team know every last move he makes. Therefore, after missing out on the chance of putting Rebirth with the Young Money album, the album keeps getting delayed until the point where the sh*t turns into a f*cking country album. And oh yeah, these down below, don't count on 'em being "final":

Rebirth: American Star featuring Shanell aka SNL, Prom Queen featuring Shanell aka SNL, Ground Zero, Da Da Da, Paradice, Get A Life, On Fire, Drop The World featuring Eminem, Runnin featuring Shanell aka SNL, One Way Trip featuring Kevin Rudolf, Knockout featuring Nicki Minaj, The Price Is Wrong.

Not calling this sh*t garbage, I will say just like we've heard about 34 leaked Detox records, plan on hearing more before Universal Motown decides on what this album is going to sound like. Just like we don't wanna see old a** (sorry, Doc) Dre rapping toward his 50's, Wayne is getting closer to 35 each day. And oh yeah, Carter IV? LOL.

5. My Girl Got A Girlfriend

LOL --> LMFAO!!! Sorry folks, but why am I the only person who really thinks that's Nicki Minaj trying to expose Remy Ma from back in 2006? Just b/c y'all are used to seeing Da Brat and "Snoop" from "The Wire," doesn't mean a hood rat chick turned "Barbie" story can't exist, right?

"I used to f*cks with her, straight up," the alleged Nicki said. "I know her. I used to chill with her. I used to smoke with her. Burn L's and all that...I dead a** had relations with her and all that. Ate the box, you feel me? It's whatever...She ate the box."

Besides the a** plants and boob job, I still love @NickiMinaj for being a down a** chick in this game dominated by thug rappers and "skinny jean emcees," as some would call it. But even though this sh*t has been out for a minute and is "just now" starting to catch a buzz, ol' girl decided to give her remarks on the sh*t. (Notice, no denial is in place...sarcasm at best? LOL. That's like when you wanted to f*ck your study buddy on the low and when your friends asked, you said, 'Yeeaaah, I 'really' want her/him. Idiots.' LOL. F*ck outta here!)

"Ahahahahahhaahahhahaha! Lmaooooooooooo. So now I was a d*ke dat dated remy ma n made a vid dressed as a boy?!?!?!? Lmaooooo U ppl r simple.," Nicki wrote. "RT @NellyBu: @NICKIMINAJ when ppl want 2 b u so hard n kno they can't, they settle 4 bashin u instead! < Still I luv'em in a crazy way - TI RT @prettyeyes720: @NICKIMINAJ funny thing is ppl hate cuz they hate themselves cuz they blew their chance 2 have wut u have. < Wow... Oh, I'm sorry...I was out of breath...from chasing my dream. Dear hataz, #chaseurdream ...It soothes the pain...*gotta go* Luv, HB ;)"

Oh word, Nicki? Dropping the d*ke reference? Yo, what did my man "Seth" say from Superbad? "People don't forget." Right?

"Want a menage? No, I'ma turn Foxy Brown out. Y'all ain't ever heard Foxy on no crazy sh*t. I'ma turn her out. She the baddest b*tch in the game right now, she's looking real succulent, real good right now. She's turning me on right now."

Real "succulent," huh Nicki? Yeah, we know about you homegirl. Funny how she runs to address this sh*t but not the a** plants, right? LOL.

***Daaa daaaa dddd*mmmnnnnnn, I'm on my Fabolous sh*t right now. LOL. Another one down folks, loving my crew right now, @King @Jay @TheBlack. I see y'all. On the real though, thank y'all for showing SOHH we got a voice and making this sh*t heat up like Tiger Woods' jump-off sex tapes. LOL. And yeah, I'm even working on my grammar for some of y'all up-tight readers, LMFAO. Enjoy the weekend fools!***

No Junkmail!

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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