Pulse Report: Rick Ross Scares Floyd Mayweather, 50 Cent Destroys Fat Joe, Lil Wayne & Nicki Minaj Get Exposed

Friday, Oct 16, 2009 4:00PM

Written by Bulldog Butterworth

In this week's Pulse Report, we're rewindin' the past seven days to check out Rick Ross making Floyd Mayweather a shook one, 50 Cent helping Fat Joe's career self-destruct, Young Money's Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj getting exposed, Erick Sermon and N.O.R.E. saying "F*ck VH1" and SOHH much more.

[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]

1. Knock Out Kings

Rick "Boss" Ross has officially impressed me. While the majority of y'all continue to snicker and laugh at his a** being 5-0 (Police < Corrections Officer) back in the day, it amazes me how much damage this Southern dude can really do to people. He made 50 Cent look like a dumb a** during their beef the entire G-Unit took an "L" for, forced Eminem out of a spot in MTV's Top 10 "Hottest In The Game" 2009 list and has managed to spark a f*cking beef with Money Mayweather aka Floyd Mayweather, Jr. LMFAO. But wait, f*ck the tax problems, Floyd...is...a GIRL!?

"Oh yeah, I did a version that was picking on that girl," Ross laughingly admitted in an interview with radio personality Big Tigger. "Nah, you know, some of my G's out in Vegas told me, you know, that he was kinda sweet. So I just put it on the table and they haven't addressed it. It is what it is, I wish him much success. But he wanted my attention so I gave it to her. [laughs]"

F*ck that fat f*ck, Floyd, I know you won't take that from him, right? Even though Ross took his below the belt cheap a** shots on the radio, the 40-0 champ didn't even Twitter a response. Hold up, this coming from dude who got HBO (shout-out to "Curb") some credibility back with those trash-talking boxing countdown shows? SMH...well, Maybach Mayweather finally spoke up this week:

"I just think that when you are on a certain level, you just let things go by," Mayweather said about his situation with the "Boss." "I'm a fighter. That's what I do. I'm into contact. He's a rapper. That's what he do. The thing I'm gonna do is stay in my lane and let him stay in his lane. But it seems Rick Ross is a fan of Floyd Mayweather -- in fact, Rick Ross was at the Ricky Hatton fight. He paid money to see me... I appreciate the donation from Rick Ross."

LMFAO!!! Get the f*ck outta here, did he really just say "the thing I'm gonna do is stay in my lane and let him stay in his lane"??? LMFAO! D*mn, Ross wins again. Now if this was Nasty Nas or f*ck it, even Jay-Z, I could respect that sh*t, but this coming from Floyd? Y'all take it as being the bigger man, but then why p*ssy out and say "well, he paid money to see me..." FLOYD-IS-SHOOK. So peep the math, Mayweather disses Ross over the summer...Ross then decides to drop a diss song, spoof video and then just tear his a** up in interviews, yet Mayweather is going cold turkey? D*mn, f*ck it, I'm riding with Shane Mosley now...SMH. Now as far as that bullsh*t Triple C's album? Ehhh, that's a tax write-off for Ross, so he wins again. Moving on.

2. Funeral Music

I f*cking hate to admit it, but 50 really did it. Just like Ja Rule is more played out than FUBU jeans these days, so is Fat Joe's rap career....and who do we owe the thanks to? D*mn, so many people but you gotta give it up to Fif. He KNEW Joe was going to bust his a** with this sh*t and decided to capitalize at the last minute. Say what you want to say about him, but 50 is like a f*cking rap genius critic.... his own sh*t is horrible, but telling others that their sh*t is horrible? No problem.

"THE MOST ANTICIPATED ALBUM OF THE CENTURY" a banner reads on ThisIs50.com. "WITH 8,800 COPIES SOLD JOE SHOWS NO SIGNS OF STOPPING." -Rolling Stone "INCLUDING SMASH HIT SINGLES LIKE "JOEY DON'T DO IT, AND CUPCAKE"

LMFAO. I told y'all in the past, I f*cks with both Joey Crack and Fif, but d*mn, the sad sh*t is that 50's computer nerds actually totaled up more than what "The Fat Gangsta" actually sold.

Terror Squad leader Fat Joe's Jealous Ones Still Envy Part II got off to a rocky start landing at No. 73 this week. With seven days to his name, Joey Crack's latest effort has sold 8,300 copies.

It's gotten so bad that Joey didn't even wait for those numbers to come in before he started blaming "something." As it's been since his a** hit the scene in the early 1990's, the problem was nobody wanting to hear his recycled sh*t especially with the record label.

"I'm the king of not pointing fingers," Joe said in an interview. "I feel you gotta be a man whether you win or lose. I hate people who have bumpy starts or not the success they used to, and start pointing fingers at the record label. I take it on the chin. I'm a stand-up guy. I had conflicts with the record label -- let's not say the workers, the staff, they good people, but the guys up top. We had it out a few times with this project right here."

SMFH... is this what it's come to, Joe? Yeah, I remember, he said he's already amped about his next bullsh*t-laced album but when we all laughed at Crack for selling 40K in 2008 thanks to J.Holiday & Lil Wayne and then this happens...well, Joe, you're irrelevant in rap music. Stick it out with that sneaker line and as Dave Chappelle would say, save your money, son 'cause recession or not, when Kid Cudi debuts higher than Elephant In The Room's combined total, d*mn, you lost.

3. The Truth Will Set You Free: Young Money Edition

Let's double up for a quick second. Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj. In lamest terms, girls have done nothing but continued to f*ck Weezy for that baby and fellas just want to see Nicki's a**, seriously. Ladies first....

LMFAO. Rarely do I just put a video in Pulse Report that I don't quote from, but this is too classic to pass up. Nicki has no a**? T*tties aren't certified? Her hair is...okay, well, we knew that sh*t, but d*mn Nicki...really? I won't lie, I've been reading in a lot of blogs about her being faker than a $2 bill, but sh*t, this video made me think about YouPorn searching "Nicki Minaj Nude" 'cause I might as well just resort back like Charles Hamilton with Lacey Duvalle. SOHH the above video has been circulating and it was only right to show y'all... I got money saying her t*ts are real, but that a**? Nah son, take that Angel Lola Luv backside back to the drawing board, Nicki, or let's see you in that G-string...

While we're at it...random posting: G-Unit's ex-member Olivia talking about the G-Spot x Squirting???

Errr.....Weezy?

Now it's no secret, this dude is reaching Wayans family numbers with all these kids. He did it right with the 12 year-old, but then last fall...okay....and then Lauren London last month...ahhh...kinda sweet, and then....NIVEA!?!?!

Wayne did not provide many details about the impending birth in the BBC interview. "Two girls pregnant at the same time?" Tim Westwood said. "Congratulations." Wayne responded "Three," before clarifying his remark for Westwood, who thought the rapper meant he'd gotten three women pregnant at the same time. "I mean [I'll have] three sons," he explained. When Wayne was asked if Nivea was expecting, he responded "yessir."

D*mn, granted, he exposed his own a** on that interview...but do the math. This upcoming baby will make child No. 4, his third son and FOURTH baby mama? D*mn, "Greatest Rapper Alive" needs to find the "Greatest Wrapper Inside." LMFAO...

4. What's The Problem

D*mn, just when I'm getting over Eminem and that bullsh*t list made by MTV, another network makes some news over the week and strikes a cord with rap pioneers Erick Sermon and N.O.R.E. (don't hate on 'em, these two made history)...I'll let the Green Eyed Bandit talk first:

"I have yet to be officially invited to the VH1 Hip Hop Honors," he wrote in a blog posting. "Yes, I know many of you are sitting there with your mouths open and a cloud with a question mark over your heads wondering how such an incredible oversight like this could ever happen, 5 years in a row. Although I say that with a pompous amount of sarcasm I still believe that EPMD is synonymous with Hip Hop- am I alone on this? Yet the two times we've been included in this occasion, which is supposed to honor those who have made great contributions to Hip Hop culture, it has been at the request of other artists or by some strange turn of events. This year, I spoke with a VH1 producer from the show who told me that he 'found a spot for me.' At the time, this remark didn't bother me that much because it was buffered with the rundown of all the great people involved and a rumor that I had said I didn't want to be a part of the festivities. Of course no executives contacted me directly to establish if this were true or not- so they took me off the original schedule because of this so-called "rumor" they heard. But that's beside the point."

Aight, so that set me over the edge. Those VH1 fools "Gots 2 Chill," bullsh*t joke aside...but to top it off? N.O.R.E too?

"I feel invisible !!!!!! I never get noticed I never get props i deserve!!!," he wrote this week. "I bet if they honor the neptunes my name wouldn't even come up They'll give everybody else props!!! Lyor [Cohen] stalked me to be on defjam It's a good show f*ck it I'm not a hater just feel invisible but imma manage to manage!!!"

See, I stil can't make-out what VH1 was thinking. I mean, of course you can't include "EVERYBODY" and yeah, this was really taped last month, but WTF, Sermon and NORE? Do y'all know what EPMD did to this rap sh*t? Or maybe how N.O.R.E. was a core piece to the up-and-downfall of that Reggaeton sh*t, hence, "Roc-La-Familia." F*ckers need to release a statement on this, VH1 'cause that sh*t is not a good look.

5. White Man's World

D*mn, Asher Roth... really? I really hate to play these race cards especially in an open forum like this, but why the f*ck did Asher have to go off on President Barack Obama's Nobel Peace Prize win SOHH fast? I mean...f*ck it, tell 'em Roth:

"Didn't know you could win the peace prize by just talking sh*t...," he wrote on Twitter. "I'm all for "hope" and "progress" but people have been dedicating their lives for peace - actions speak louder than words - my opinion only...@Cpetty281 I disagree, I think change starts at the basement level - change starts with us, the people - were being manipulated Has nothing to do with "Obama" and everything to do with the "Peace Prize" - change starts with us, the people - who's gon wake up first? Seek truth."

Even though Barack got the mandatory co-sign from Busta Rhymes, Rick Ross, Master P and a gang of other rap heads, A**shole Asher decided to speak his mind and take on the president. SMFH. Politics is a touch subject, but when you place yourself as a rapper and reppin' for "us," we're made up of different races and creeds, so when you go off talking sideways out your mouth, fool, of course you're gonna get checked. It's not a matter of what was Tweeted that caused peeps to bug out, but how you wrote that sh*t, doggy. "Who's gon wake up first?" D*mn homie, and you didn't even bother to delete those words...for those little kids and people who just want something to believe in and get sideswiped by that sh*t, nah. *Preps to take Asleep In The Bread Aisle back to Used CD/DVD Store*

***D*mn, I still can't tone these postings down... BUT the good news is thanks to Y'ALL, the f*cking BEST readers and commenters, I see you E-Hustle, SOHH is going to continue to let me rock Pulse Report & Caption Diss on a week-by-week basis, so keep those suggestions coming and keep me up on sh*t. We got this!***

Junk Mail

BONUS: They Shootin'

LFMAO. File J.R. Writer alongside Jaz-O and some of those other lames on World Star Hip Hop videos because help me understand this. You get shot on Saturday night. You Twitter about it on Sunday. You make an a** out of yourself and confirm getting shot on Monday and then you dry snitch and detail HOW you got shot on Tuesday? Right?

"I was in front of the studio I been recording out of for the past three months in the Bronx, when two bum a** n*ggaz stepped to me and a couple of my dudes with guns," he wrote in a statement. "For what? I still have no idea. They wasn't trying to rob nuthin', they looked more like they was going to kill something," he continued. "None of us was strapped, we actually thought we was in a low spot in the BX. On top of that we been coming there for the past three months with no problems working on my album and new mixtape. When we saw the look on his face and heard him say 'now what, what now' it sounded more like a beef then anything else so we got up out of there. That's when he let off two shots our way, which, one of the shots hit me and I dropped. He then starting shooting at my peoples and running towards them. When I saw that I was gonna play dead but I said 'H*ll no' and picked myself up and got across the street where my n*gga Plat was running back towards my way. The shooter looks back and sees me limpin' across the street with my n*gga Plat and starts runnin' towards us like he was going to finish me off till he heard police sirens and ran off. I am doing OK now, just trying to recover. The doctor says I was lucky the shot didn't hit any major artery or bones it went through the back of my thigh and exited through the front. It was a .45 so that would of really f*cked me up."

So he... no, the guy...Cam'ron was... f*ck that, this is a certified "L" to the fullest.

BONUS: I Get Money

LOL, apologies for the throwback title, but what else can you say about Soulja Boy Tell Em? The kid forgets to pay a bill and motherf*ckers like TMZ & SOHH think this guy is broke. SMFH...well, after his a** got arrested last week and made some blog postings earlier this week about getting into some sh*t with his landlords out in California, turns out this kid has money coming out the a** (pause).

"Got d*mn breaking news shawty," Soulja Boy said with a camera focused on his jewelery. "Man they said Bugs Bunny died today shawty, they said I stole all the carrots from that n*gga shawty. He couldn't eat bruh, look at all this sh*t. N*gga talking about 200 on a Soulja Boy chain, 150 on The World Is Yours [chain], 20 stacks on every ring, 50 stacks on every watch, 250 on the Lambo [pendant], 150 on the S.O.D. [chain], I don't even know how much the Louis cost, I don't know how much the Gucci cost, I don't know how much that Louis cost, n*ggas wanna put my plaques on the wall, man. Gang, gang gang, S.O.D. n*gga. So much jewelery n*gga, show 'em the S.O.D. chain. Then I f*ck around and open the, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. They took me to jail, I told my n*gga, 'Yo, just go to my crib and just get one of these out, bruh and come get me outta jail bruh.'"

LMFAO, d*mn, for y'all too busy reading this on your mobile phones and can't see the video, that "wow, wow, wow, wow" was him showing a sh*t load of $100's in a shoe box along with some exagerrated chains. But my thing is, f*ck your bills, Soulja Boy, looks like your landlord has other issues with you, too:

"We have received complaints of noise disturbances and guests wandering the hallway and Observation Deck. This is a direct violation of your Lease Agreement." The letter continues, "Additionally, we were notified that you had over 10 cars parked in guest parking on the evening of September 25th. This is a violation of your lease...which states, 'You may have no more than two overnight guests at a time unless we provide specific approval.'" Less than a week after that letter was sent, the landlord followed up with a bill for $9,376.10 in unpaid rent and late fees.

He has a bad b*tch (in a good way, you know we love you ladies) by the name of Rosa Acosta, a hyped up third album with Kanye West dropping in the near future and an online presence buzzing once again...however, this is the same kid that got robbed last year, had a wack a** "beef" SMFH with Bow Wow and flopped harder than Kid Cudi's second week sales... it's 50/50, hope the lil' homie can get those 1.8 million Twitter followers to cop his sh*t, otherwise, this cocky attitude was for nothing. ---Bulldog Butterworth

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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