Columns: Hot Press: Beyonce Pulls The Ol' Switch-A-Roo, Keyshia Cole Shoots Off Her Mouth, Solange Opens Up To Micael Jackson

Thursday, Apr 30, 2009 12:00AM

Written by Soul Rebel

Hot off the press this week Beyonce doubles up, Solange goes moonwalking with Michael Jackson, Keyshia Cole cocks her glock, Prince shakes a case of epilepsy and Rihanna wants her jewels back.

Get Me Body-Doubled

According to the rumor mill, during a recent stop in Vienna during her tour, Beyonce angered an art museum by sending a look-a-like to her special personal tour of the museum and to be photographed with Albertina director, Klaus Albrecht Schroeder, while she went shopping.

"What a cheek," Albertina spokeswoman Verena Dahlitz told the Austrian news agency APA. "We were a little doubtful yesterday, but weren't really sure. It could have been her," Dahlitz said, adding that fans were apparently duped, too.
Rebel talking ... SMH at these silly Austrians! Sasha Fierce isn't a body double! Our precious Beyonce would never shirk on her publicity commitments, she's the hardest worker in show biz!

Keyshia's Got A Gun

In the final issue of KING magazine Keyshia Cole complains about her heavy artillery, saying she'd happily scale down her natural endowments, complaining, "I'd make my breasts smaller... They're too big. I can't wear any tops that the other girls wear."

And while she's no fan of her chest pieces, Keyshia's not shy about other weapons of mass destruction, telling the magazine, "I own a gun - a Glock. Somebody followed me home once and I called the police and told them I'd kill him and that I prefer not to."

Rebel talking... Damn, you can take a girl out the hood but you can't take the hood out the girl. Keyshia put your WM-DD's down!

Beat It

Rumor has it that Solange Knowles is set to be the opening act for Michael Jackson's upcoming European tour.

Sources say Solange has recently renewed her passport and is in the final stages of negotiations to be the King of Pop's opening act when he kicks off his world tour in London.

Rebel Talking... I call bullshit! If Solange hasn't twittered it, it can't possibly be official. I think it's more likely that MJ is pulling Solange in to be HIS body double, everyone keeps saying he's too frail to pull off this tour.

Miracle Soul

If you believe Prince, there's been some miracles in Minneapolis.

"I've never spoken about this before but I was born epileptic," the reclusive singer told PBS's Tavis Smiley in an interview Monday night. "I used to have seizures when I was young. My mother and father didn't know what to do or how to handle it but they did the best they could with what little they had."

"My mother told me one day I walked in to her and said, 'Mom, I'm not going to be sick anymore,' and she said 'Why?' and I said 'Because an angel told me so.' Now, I don't remember saying it, that's just what she told me. From that point on, I've been having to deal with a lot of things, getting teased a lot in school," he said. "And early in my career I tried to compensate by being as flashy as I could and as noisy as I could."
Rebel Talking ... Wow. I guess that Purple Rain works wonders, but Prince, you really can't blame being flashy and noisy on epilepsy.

Digitally Derangement

Apparently Global Grind has become the place for everyone to publicly air any and all grievances, no matter how unintelligible, because Danity Kane singer D.Woods brought her axe to grind in a lengthy blog this week:

"Friends, romans, country men, play cousins, and all my single ladies...lend me your ears! I've learned that many of you may be disappointed and even upset by the recent course of events with my departure from Danity Kane; I am as well...

...I am truly sorry for the disappointment and even more sorry to tell you that you will never find the answers or what's real, while watching "reality" tv. The concoction of lies, truth, and entertainment has been the main course on the menu you've been eating for quite some time my friends. However, I am confident that the truth will "come out" when the sh*t hits the fan, literally!...I hope you will continue to support me and that I will see you once I emerge from the constraints of the smoke and mirrors. The revolution will not be televised...that b*tch went digital! Man against the machine. Ya girl D.woods"
Rebel Talking... D. Woods you are my girl, but I'm lost in them woods. So reality TV isn't real? Okay. And the truth will "come out"? Sounds like you trying to say Diddy is a flamer and he set y'all up. How's that for translation?

But while you were trying to figure out if Caviar from the "Love of Ray J" is actually a man, we were loving Chrisette Michele's new music and wondering whether the police are holding Rihanna's jewelry hostage in exchange for her testimony against Chris Brown.

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