Pulse Report: Lil' Wayne Hates Dumb People, DMX Is Pretty In Pink And Yung Berg Thinks Rappers Are Above The Law

Friday, Jan 16, 2009 12:00AM

Written by Archie Fucque

In this week's Pulse Report the streets are buzzing about, Lil' Wayne laying down the "Martian" law, Diddy opening up about Notorious B.I.G's death, DMX realizing his true calling in prison, Rick Ross loading up to fire back at critics, and Yung Berg proving he's an "artist" with no clout.

[Editor Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]

1. Wayne's World

This is Wayne's World, caution before you enter. The "best rapper alive" opened up his mind (world) to GQ magazine during a revealing Q&A where he was asked, among other things, to paint a picture of what his world would look like. Here's what he said:

"Weed about to be legal everywhere. I would make it that there's no such thing ever as crack. Nor heroin. I don't feel that. It kill my city that's why I say that. And violence? Instead of going to jail, you just evaporate from my world just like that. I don't know where you go, but you gone. You know where you go? Back to earth! Picture that. Back to earth."

Too bad we couldn't make George Bush and Dick Cheney evaporate eight years ago.

"...School would not be optional. It would mandatory. Because I do not like unintelligent people; it's a pet peeve. If you dumb, you not around me, so that says a lot about the people you see around me, because I hate dumb people..."

Ummm, I'ma leave that one alone.

2. Story To Tell

At some point this weekend, you or someone you know is going to head to the movies to watch the Notorious B.I.G biopic Notorious. The film starring Brooklyn rapper Jamal Gravy Woolard, Derek Luke and Angela Bassett follows the life and death of the iconic MC. The build up to the film's official release has been nothing less than impressive. The marketing has been relentless and the big city premieres have been star-studded events. DJ Drama can attest to that as he was allegedly assaulted and robbed at the Atlanta premiere. (Clearly some people didn't get the movie's underlying message.)

Still, keeping on a positive note for this potentially history-making event, Diddy decided to build up to the occasion by posting some blogs in which he opens up about his "best friend" Big. The four part series finds the music mogul being really forthcoming and emotional when he speaks about how Biggie's death affected his life. [Watch Part 1]

He even tells a never before told story of how Big could have avoided death on that faithful night by taking a scheduled flight to London. [Watch Part 2]

"The call just plays over and over in my head. What if he had just got on the plane?..."

I think I can answer that question for you Mr. Combs... "Who's the best emcee Biggie, Jay-Z, or Nas..." would be a two-man race.

Someone would have been able to talk Lil' Kim out of getting knifed up.

Lil' Cease wouldn't be a yoga instructor right now.

And you Mr. Combs would be twice as rich. Imagine that.

3. Higher Power

Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks? After a couple months in an Arizona prison, DMX is already talking like a reformed man. The troubled rapper/actor sat down for a one on one interview with Arizona's local FOX news station, to discuss what life's been like for him throughout this ordeal. [Watch Here]

The one-time hip-hop sex symbol looked like a shell of his former self, yet when it came to his appearance he was more peeved by the mandatory attire he is forced to wear in the poky.

"This jail is ridiculous. It's disrespectful. Come on, pink? What does that have to do with being in jail? Why the pink? Why the pink shirts and underwear? What is that all about?..."

That stampede you hear is Cam'ron and his cronies rushing to Arizona to commit a few petty crimes so that they can spend the night dip-out in pink.

Still rather than lash out aggressively over the pink gear, X is taking a more humble spiritual approach to that and more.

"I pray for everyone. Whether I know you or not, I pray from my friends, family, loved ones, and as well as my enemies every night, because we're all God's children..."

Rather than ask, where this is coming from, I'll tell you where it's going.

"...It has gotten me closer to my true calling in life. Closer to realizing, actualizing my true calling, which is to be a pastor..."

Pastor Mase, Pastor DMX, Rev Run, Hip-Hop's House Of Religion is starting to take shape nicely. All they need is for T-Pain to head up the choir. I'm curious as to how "Amazing Grace" would sound in autotune.

4. Sound Of Da Police

Rick Ross has heard enough of the negative talk about his checkered past and he's dropping two new singles to clear the air. After recently severing ties with his long time label Slip N Slide Records, the rotund Miami rapper told MTV news he's preparing his third album Deeper Than Music, which will be on his new imprint Maybach Music, and the disc has two upcoming singles that will clear the air on everything about his life, once and for all.

"It just takes everybody a little deeper into my world. Everybody can just musically hear the growth. The content is something that's most definitely something real special. The track was produced by the J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League. I got John Legend himself on the chorus. It's something real big and creative. I haven't heard John on this type of vibe."

Officer Ross on a track produced by the J.U.S.T.I.C.E League, yeah that sounds more than appropriate. Maybe he should axe John Legend from the hook and get The Police. Sting killed that Biggie record. Remember?

As for you all you haters, Ross has something for you on the B-Side.

"It's a scathing four-and-half-minute nonstop flow, me being autobiographical about my life and my come-up and my triumph. Of course, I had to address a few things, I had to address a few people. I love it. The thing is, some people are gonna be -- um -- they're gonna be f---ed up. That's the best way I can put it."

Can't wait to hear how Ross fires back.

5. Coppin' A Plea

It's a new year and Yung Berg is still making news for making an ass of himself. Video of the pint-sized rapper being arrested in Miami hit the net this week. The clip appeared courtesy of TruTv. Though the arrest seems like it occurred sometime last year, Berg is probably just as embarrassed today. Clearly intoxicated Berg recklessly crashed a motor scooter in front of police. Once arrested, Berg tried to talk his way out of it by telling the officer a pointless fact. "I'm signed to Universal Records, I'm an artist." Adding even more drama to the mess was Berg's manager Justin who fled after hitting a cop who wouldn't allow him to take Berg's jewelry before they took him away. [Watch Here]

SMH. The fact that the manager wanted to take jewelry from Berg is a big clue the footage is old. I don't think lil homie has anything left after Detroit. Right now, I'm convinced that Aston Kutcher is filming a really long episode of Punk'D on Yung Berg and he doesn't know about it yet. You can't be that unlucky or that stupid.

That's all from me folks. Hit me up at [email protected] for a healthy back and forth. What if Biggie was still alive? Would Jay-Z be the man? What do you think the movie is going to earn on its first weekend?

[Editor's Note: The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH]

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